"Dean?"

Mitchell was the particular kind of asshole I wasn't looking to deal with right now. The "done" stack of files was slowly gaining on the "to do" pile, but there were only two hours left in my shift and I'd already worked through lunch. Amanda would be coming home for the holiday, and goddamn if I was going to miss her arrival. I'd made her a cake and everything -I wondered if she'd come home to find the house empty, and find the cake, and have to eat it alone while Mitchell kept me another couple of hours, because apparently there was never enough to do around here.

"Dean."

I barely registered the second calling of my name. My glasses were slipping down my nose; my tired eyes could just make out the slightly foggy figure towering over me. This was a behemoth of a man, and would've made an imposing figure even if he wasn't my boss.

"Yeah, Mitch?"

"You've been falling behind."

I stared at the forms, their incompleteness looming over me. "Sorry. I've just been a little… under the weather today." I couldn't admit distraction. My ass would be sacked before you could say 'Happy Holidays.' "There's a bug going around. Watch out, I might be contagious." The only thing that I knew this hulking man to be afraid of was germs -maybe the threat of getting him sick would convince him to send me home early. It's worked in the past.

His hand moved briefly to cover his mouth, as if to block out the bacteria he could feel radiating off of me. But he dropped it quickly; this must be important. "I've been thinking maybe you should be transferred to another department."

I blinked at him. "Why?"

"Missing deadlines. We need to move you to a department where this wouldn't be such an issue. We need to know where our parolees are at all times, and that means putting their whereabouts through the damned bureaucracy, crossed T's and dotted I's and all that stuff." He sighed and sat down on the edge of my desk, nearly knocking cold coffee out of my 'World's Best Dad' mug. "One of our guys didn't show up to a meeting with Ken on Monday, and no one else even knew until Wednesday. The paperwork was on your watch. What if he'd gotten into some deep shit? We'd be responsible."

I didn't try to argue. Ken hadn't told me Mr. Ross hadn't shown up until Tuesday morning, but that would still mean my work needed to be submitted by Tuesday afternoon. And, yeah, I'd gotten distracted and got it in late. "Sorry about that…"

"You've been having to apologize a lot lately."

"Sorry."

He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Listen. We could just fire you. But we're gonna give you a chance. Carol in bail registration has a spot open, and she's gonna let you interview after New Year's. But that's the only place we have left to put you. And she's got other candidates lined up…"

I felt something wash over me. Frustration, I decided to call it. I felt my face burn, but tried to keep my voice civil. "Yeah. Okay. Thank you for the opportunity."

Mitchell nodded. "Finish up that form. I'll get Annie to get the rest done. You'll have the rest of the day to pack up your desk."

My mind was in two simultaneous and contradictory modes. Part of my thoughts were moving in slow motion, like swimming through the pudding I left on the counter last night, trying to piece everything I was hearing together and failing to process any of it in a reasonable time frame. Some other thoughts, though, were moving too quickly to keep up with, and unable to make sense of any of it, I kind of just let them whiz by, only feeling some vague sense of what they were awakening in me.

The first thing I could feel once that wave had passed was some relief. Paperwork was easy, mindnumbing and time-consuming. Perfect for avoiding unpleasant feelings. I didn't find myself saying anything else to Mitchell until he had already walked off, a slight waddle in his gait. I picked up my pen, clicked it a few times in a way I knew would drive Marvin next to me crazy, and got back to work. It struck me that this would be the last of the paperwork I would be filling out in this office, but I scribbled my way through that.

Old Nora was on her last wheels. I didn't remember she was in the shop for her radiator until I left work a half hour early and found that I had no way of getting home.

I remembered Amanda. She was due home at seven. My phone felt heavy in my pocket; I pulled it out and found the time to be 4:32. I could easily get home in time to make dinner before her arrival if I could leave, like, now. I ran through my contacts, gauging my options in alphabetical order. My mind was still a little too numb to think more abstractly than that.

Brian should have enough room for me in his truck, but he'd been getting home late recently, probably trying to go all out for Christmas.

Craig would be my first and most obvious ride home, but if I remembered correctly he was probably dropping the girls off with Smashley. We talked last night about how that meant driving down to Boston, where Smashley was staying with her parents for Christmas. I recalled a vague warm feeling as I thoguht about that casual conversation, snuggled up together under the heavy blanket. I wanted that feeling to stay with me as the cold air bit at my fingertips. I kept scrolling.

Damien, work. Hugo, work. That, or either one of them could be dealing with their sons' antics. Both boys had been "better" lately, but god knows what they might still get themselves into.

Joseph I know would be more than willing, and probably technically available, but the kids would complicate it. I'd noticed more and more over the course of the year that even though he and Mary were still together, he was basically raising the kids by himself.

Mat had already gone on vacation with Carmensita. They were visiting Rosa's family in Florida. I thought briefly of my own parents down there, but wasn't expecially upset that I wouldn't be joining them this year. They were spending the holidays with my father's extensive family. They wouldn't miss me.

And then… Robert?

4:35. He probably just woke up. Maybe I could catch him before he'd had too much whiskey to drive.

I shot him a quick text, fingers starting to burn. Why hadn't I bought gloves already?

[D] Robert? You awake?

[R] what's it to ya?

[D] I need a favor

[R] do i need to get out of bed for it?

[D] Ideally, yes

[R] you're lucky i'm awake.

[R] well what is it?

[D] I'm at work and need someone to pick me up.

[R] how'd you get there in the first place?

[D] Carpool

[R] well that's how you get home

[D] I'm out early. They're still working.

[D] Robert it's freezing out here and Amanda's on her way home.

It was another minute before he responded.

[R] omw

[D] You're a godsend. I owe you my life

[R] i'll be there for your soul in ten

Robert was miraculously on time. My former cowrkers were just starting to trickle out into the cold darkness. I said goodnight and happy holidays to various faces I likely wouldn't be seeing again, and got into Robert's truck.