At first, Chakotay wasn't sure what it was that had woken him. He sensed it was a sound, but the room around him was still and quiet. He opened his eyes and turned his head, squinting at the clock on the nightstand. It read 2:45 am.
Kathryn was still sound asleep beside him, her breathing soft and even.
Suddenly the sound came again and through the baby monitor, he could hear the soft snuffling cries of one of his daughters.
So as not to wake Kathryn, knowing she was exhausted, Chakotay turned and lowered the volume on the monitor. Rolling back to his wife, he brushed a tender kiss to her cheek before getting out of bed and tucking the covers in around her.
Pulling on a pair of sweats, Chakotay slipped quietly from the bedroom and crossed the cabin to the dining area. He opened the tiny fridge that had been installed next to the replicator and took out two small bottles of breast milk that Kathryn had expressed before going to bed.
He used the replicator to warm the milk until the bottles were the right temperature then he crossed over to the nursery.
It was a very angry Leiryn that greeted him when he opened the door and stepped into the tiny room.
"Sh...it's all right." he crooned softly as he set the bottle down beside the rocker and crossed to Leiryn's crib. After a quick look to the second crib to see that Naelani was still sleeping, he leaned over the rail of the crib and looked down at his angry offspring.
Her tiny face was scrunched up and red from the intensity of her cries and her little arms and legs were waving madly.
Chakotay smiled as he leaned down to lift Leiryn from her crib.
"Sh, Papa's here Angel" he whispered as he pulled her tiny form close to his chest and carried her to the change table.
Moments later she was clean and dry and he pulled her close again as he crossed to the rocker. He sat down and switched on the music player that sat on the low table next to the rocker. He turned the volume down low so that it was playing softly in the background then pulled Leiryn into the crook of his arm until she was nestled against his chest. Picking up the bottle he grinned softly as she latched on and began sucking greedily.
As he watched her, her fist closed around his little finger and held on tight.
Chakotay had seen many things in his life that had filled him with wonder and awe, but nothing could ever compare to the feelings he'd felt when seeing his daughters and holding them for the first time.
He'd vowed from the first moment they'd come into the world, screaming for all they were worth, that he would be the best father he could be for them and give them everything he had to give. And together with their mother give them the best life they could whether that life was here, on Voyager or back home in the Alpha Quadrant.
He would do his best to make sure that he was there for every first of their lives: their first word; first step; first day of school. And he would teach them the lessons learned from his mother and father.
"I promise." He whispered watching her as Leiryn drank her bottle, her tiny hand resting against his chest and he marveled at the miracle she was, especially at this point in his life.
There was a time not so long ago when he thought he would never find happiness again. All that changed the moment Kathryn walked into his life. He smiled down at her, running a gentle finger down her cheek watching her intently as she finished her bottle.
"Papa loves you so much." He whispered to her as he set the empty bottle down on the side table, burping her against his shoulder as he rose and crossed back over to her crib. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head Chakotay set her back into her crib and pulled the blanket back over to her. "Sweet dreams my precious girl." He murmured, watching her sleep for a moment longer before stepping away.
Just as he moved away Naelani began to stir in her crib, fussing quietly. Knowing that she was only seconds away from a full-on wail, Chakotay picked her up, holding her close to his chest, murmuring soft words of comfort, as he moved with her and changed her before settling back in the rocking chair.
She attacked her bottle with the same greedy exuberance her sister and Chakotay chuckled lightly as she watched her eat. Even though she and Leiryn were identical he could see tiny differences, even at this early stage in their lives. Naelani's hair was just a shade darker than her sister's, and her eyes were just a slightly different shade of blue.
"Well, well, I wake up to find myself alone in bed and come in here to find my husband with another woman."
Chakotay turned his head to see Kathryn framed in the doorway to the nursery. "Guilty as charged babe." He chuckled as he got up with a now sleeping baby in his arms.
"Here, let me take her," Kathryn said softly and reached out for the infant. "There love, come to mama." She crooned as she settled the little girl against her shoulder, patting her back gently as she returned her to her crib.
Chakotay moved up quietly behind her, slipping his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him. "I still can't believe that they're really here." He whispered softly, lips brushing her ear.
"Believe it, love, they're here: perfect, beautiful and ours," Kathryn replied, drawing one of his hands up to press a kiss to the back.
"Thank you." He whispered softly and Kathryn could hear the tears in his voice.
"For what?" she asked turning in his embrace.
"For our daughters and for everything thing else – for loving me and being with me and giving me the most precious gift I could ever have. Before we met, there was a time when I thought I would never be happy again but here I am, happier than I can ever remember being. And you've given me back something that had been gone from my life for a very long time."
"And what's that love?" Kathryn whispered, her blue eyes shining with love and contentment.
"Peace, contentment, a future… a reason to get out of bed every morning, but mostly for giving me a second chance. A chance to love again, a chance to do things right this time."
"You don't have to thank me for that my love, for you've given me the exact same things," Kathryn told him, tears in her eyes. "I'd given up ever having children of my own and now…"
Chakotay cupped her face gently between his palms. His voice was s soft, husky whisper when he said. "Have I told you how very much I love you, Kat?"
Kathryn smiled through her tears. "Not in so many words," she told him softly. "But you tell me in little ways every day… You tell me in here.." she said as she gently touched a finger to the corner of his eyes. "And here." She continued, gently brushing his lips. "And here also.," she added placing a hand over his heart and feeling it's strong steady beat beneath her fingers. "You tell me with these." She continued as she took one of his hands, gently kissing each fingertip.
"And I've felt your love here." She added and drew his hand down, pressing it to her abdomen. "I've felt your love, growing and moving and changing inside me. And every time I look at our precious girls I'm reminded of how much you love me." Kathryn lifted her hand to cup his cheek, gently stroking it.
"While I will always love hearing you tell me you love me, you show me you love me every day. It's in your eyes when you look at me. It's in your voice when you speak my name. It's in your arms and hands when you hold and touch me and it's in your body when you make love to me."
"I'd be so very lost without you," Chakotay whispered, bending his head to brush his lips to her own.
"And I'd be lost without you." She replied softly. "But that's not going to happen because we are going to grow old together. We'll watch our children grow, together, and live a long and happy life, together."
"You are right, my love, as always, " he replied and pressed another tender kiss to her lips. "Now, it's time we were back in bed because these two munchkins will be up again very soon. And while the Doctor gave you at least one more day of leave, I have Bridge duty in just a few hours."
Kathryn nodded in reply then slid her arm around his waist and after one last look at their sleeping babies, Chakotay led her from the room.
Three a.m. on the clock
Lullaby music box
Oh baby please don't cry
Let's let mama sleep tonight
You've only been home one day
You don't even know your name
Tiny hand on my cheek
You're a miracle to me
In the stillness of the night
Cradled in this rocking chair
I hold all my hopes and dreams
Every single answered prayer
In my arms
Wish I could hold you forever
In my arms
I will give you shelter
Still, I know I can't always be there
To protect you from this great big old world
But I swear this much is true
There'll always be a place for you in my arms
As I watch you take each breath
Oh it scares me to death
To know you're counting on me
To be the daddy that you need
Wounded knees broken hearts
Learning how to drive a car
When it's time for your first date
Will I know just what to say
And when you find that one true love
I'll put on my best smile
And I'll try to hide my tears
As I walk you down the aisle
In my arms
Wish I could hold you forever
In my arms
I will give you shelter
Still, I know I can't always be there
To protect you from this great big old world
But I swear this much is true
There'll always be a place for you in my arms
Wish I could hold you forever
In my arms
Oh now I will give you shelter
Still, I know I can't always be there
To protect you from this great big old world
But I swear this much is true
There'll always be a place for you in my arms
Oh this promise I will keep
As you finally fall asleep in my arms