Russell and Sunil—
I'm not as dumb as I look.
I know, you've seen me act all stupid and clueless before, and I'll admit it—I don't have a lot going for me in the smarts department. Sometimes I'll try and act like I know a lot—let my ego get to me—but me and you guys both know my brain isn't good at keeping track of stuff. Things just slip past me, or I just don't get it. So yeah, I'm dumb.
But I'm not that dumb.
I just kinda proved that, didn't I? If I were that dumb, I wouldn't even know it. Heck, I wouldn't know I was dumb in the first place. So by knowing I'm dumb, that makes me a little less dumb.
You guys following me here?
It's just… I know what's going on, you guys. You don't have to hide it from me. You guys think you're good at hiding it, but you're not,okay? I'm not angry, and I'll accept you both and whatever… As long as you just…
Just hear me out, okay?
It's not that I'm not happy for you guys. It's not that. You guys are my best friends. Why wouldn't I be happy for you two? I'm sure you guys'll make a great couple.
I just wish you guys would've told me, is all.
I thought you guys trusted me. But now you guys get together, and instead of telling me and having me in the know and stuff, you guys just left me in the dust. Yeah, sure, the girls didn't know—whatever. That's different. You guys are my best friends, and when you guys start hiding an obvious secret from me…
I feel kinda left out.
And just so you know, it was totally obvious, okay? That way you guys always kept glancing at each other, and then you smiled when you made eye contact—and speaking of contact, you guys couldn't keep your hands offa each other! You guys were suddenly closer than close, and then…
And then there's me.
I know what you're thinking—"Vinnie, how'd you know?" Well, I'll tell you, 'cause it's pretty simple.
You see, I just…
I…
Well, I might have…
I pay too much attention… to you.
Sunil, I pay too much attention to you.
It's like… I'm not good at noticing stuff, but then I notice these stupid little things about you, and it just drives me nuts! Like how you twiddle with your paws when you're nervous, and how you always act sorta gutsy when you're playing with your cobra toy, and the way your eyes light up when you talk to Russell…
And how your eyes always look a little duller around me…
I'm sorry, guys. It's not like I'm not happy for both of you. I mean, you guys are my best friends. I'm gonna support you all the way through, no matter how jealous I get. I'll stay by your sides and make sure nothing ever goes wrong, and that you're happy and that you never fight…
And if you don't want me around, that's fine, too. I don't mind. If I'm bugging the two of you, or if I'm getting in the way, I'll just leave. Gone. Goodbye. Sayonara. Adíos muchachos. I'll go if you guys want me to.
Anything for you guys.
And even if you guys say you don't want me around, I'll know when to leave so you guys can make out and stuff.
'Cause I'm not as dumb as I look.
—Vinnie
PS—Russell, you're a lucky pet.
AN- If anyone wants to write a response to this (as Sunil, Russell, or both) feel free. I'll love you forever if you do.