A Halloween Carol

The Ghost of Halloween Past

October 30th 2015

"Come on Sharon it will be fun. Besides you never met a holiday you didn't like. Where is the famous Sharon Raydor sense of occasion that I love?" Andy asked her as they were finishing the dinner dishes in her condo.

Sharon sighed putting the last of the leftovers away, "Andy, I already told you I just don't like Halloween. I love all of the other holidays just not that one."

Andy looked at her still not understanding for a reserved as Sharon could be she truly did love parties and holidays, "Is this some kind of Catholic thing I am missing out on?"

Sharon sighed again her frustration growing why couldn't he just let this go, "If I say yes will you just drop it? " her tone was harsher than she intended it to be and she instantly regretted it when she saw the hurt in his eyes.

"Yeah, fine, I will drop it. Do you still want to watch the movie?" He asked moving around the counter towards her.

Sharon knew she should say yes, she wanted to say yes because more than anything right now she wanted to feel Andy's arms around her and know that they were all right she didn't like the tension between them because of this stupid holiday. She opened her mouth intending to say just that but suddenly a rush of emotions she didn't see coming took over and she heard herself saying, "Actually, I think I'm ready to call it a night."

She saw the hurt in Andy's eyes grow even deeper. She would have rather his eyes looked angry, she would have deserved that with how she was acting but instead it was hurt and she knew she was the one to cause it. She watched as he gathered his stuff to leave, "Andy, wait." She said putting a hand on his arm. He turned slowly towards her and she felt him take a breath before he turned all the way around.

"Sharon, I don't know what's going on tonight. Or what your deal with Halloween is and I really don't care if we go to the party or not. What bothers me is that you won't talk to me about it and it is causing us to fight. If we are going to fight I should at least know what we are really fighting about. We won't go to the party tomorrow. I'm going to go to Nicole's and watch the boys trick or treat. I would love for you to come with me. If you don't want to I will see you for breakfast on Sunday." He said with a mix of sadness and frustration in his voice. He leaned in and kissed her quickly, "Call me if you want to talk." He said before turning to walk out her door.

Sharon stood in her kitchen and could feel the tears beginning to form in her eyes as she heard the door to the condo shut. "Damn it" She muttered under her breath as she pulled a bottle of wine from the cabinet and poured herself a glass.

She had totally blown her Friday night with Andy and perhaps the entire weekend. They weren't even on call this weekend and now they might be spending most of it apart if she didn't get her act together. But oh she hated Halloween so much. It just brought up too many feelings that she didn't want to deal with, especially now that she was happy with her life. She had a great job, three kids who were turning into wonderful adults, and a relationship with someone who respected her and made her feel special. Why dwell on things from the past that could not be changed.

She took her wine to the couch and flipped on the TV. She flipped through the channels and found Star Wars was on. She sighed, of course that was what was on. It just fit with the rest of her evening. She left the TV on and laid down on the couch and felt herself start to fall asleep. She woke up when she heard her clock strike midnight signally that Halloween was here. She looked down the hall and could see Rusty's door was closed so he must have come in at some point.

She got up to walk to her room when and almost let out a scream when she saw a girl who looked to be about seven in a jedi costume standing in the hallway. "Don't be scared Sharon. I'm here to help you." The girl told her.

"Who are you and why are you in my condo? Where are your parents?" Sharon asked looking for her phone to call someone.

"Sharon, I'm the ghost of Halloween Past and I'm here to help you."

"Help me what?" Sharon asked

"Help you with Halloween and Andy." The girl told her holding out her hand. "Come with me." For reasons Sharon could not explain she found herself putting her hand in the girl's.

The next thing Sharon knew they were standing in the living room of house that was decorated in with jack o lanterns and paper cut out ghost. It all felt so familiar but Sharon couldn't quiet put her finger on it. Then suddenly she saw a boy who looked to be about four come running through in a Luke Skywalker costume and she knew exactly where she was. She was in her and Jack's house Halloween 1992. That infamous Halloween that had changed everything.

She watched as a younger version of herself came into the living room carrying costume pieces and candy buckets. "Richard Raydor, I told you to finish your dinner. We aren't going trick or treating until you do. Emily, where is the rest of your costume?" She was picking up the trail of mess the children had left when they came through the door. She looked so tired.

Emily came bounding into the living room in her Princess Lea costume, "Mom is Daddy going to be home for trick or treating? He said he would be when he called last week."

Sharon sighed and bit her tongue from what she wanted to say, "I don't know Honey, your Daddy says a lot of things. " Was the nicest reply she could come up with, that afternoon she had discovered her savings account was empty. Everything she had managed to save for the last ten years was gone. Jack had been gone for two years just popping in occasionally but now he had gone too far. He had not contributed a dime to the family in two years now he had taken her savings. She hoped to God he didn't show up tonight. She didn't know if she could be held responsible for her actions if he did.

She finished getting the children ready when she heard the doorbell ring. She assumed it was the first of the trick or treaters and told Emily she could open it. "Daddy!" She heard Emily scream and Sharon felt her blood pressure rise as she quickly made her way back to the living room.

She was horrified at what she saw standing there. Jack was there visibly drunk, stumbling, wearing what looked to be a brand new expensive suit and a woman who looked barely over twenty standing with him. "Hey, how's my Princess Lea? Where's Luke?" he asked.

"Daddy, here I am! " Yelled Ricky running into the living room.

"What are you doing here Jack and who do you have with you?" Sharon asked her tone cold and flat.

"OH and look it's our very own Dark One, Darth Raydor, better than the Ice Queen you usually go as I suppose." Jack said slurring his words.

"Leave jack, leave now, I know what you have done and you have no business being here." She said fighting back the tears.

"Hey, I needed some money, but I won it all back and came to bring you some." He said holding out an envelope full of money. Every ounce of pride she had was screaming to not take it but the ever present rational Sharon Raydor knew she had to put some money back in savings.

Sharon turned and looked at the young girl next to her, "I promised myself I would never let him take from me again after that and that I would never take money he got from gambling again. I went to my lawyer the next day and started the process of becoming legally separated. We didn't see him at all for five years after that night."

"No, and you have never liked Halloween since then." The girl whispered, "Of course, there was another Halloween more recently that didn't go to well either wasn't there?" The girl asked.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Sharon denied what the girl was saying until suddenly they were no longer in her old home but in a ball room. She didn't need to ask where they were this memory was still fresh enough in her memory.

It was Halloween of 2010 and they were standing in the ballroom where the LAPD held their annual Halloween ball. Sharon had never actually gone to one before that year. She had always been busy with her kids or when the kids got older she volunteered to work so others could go. The memories from that Halloween years ago still clouded her memory so she chose to avoid it. She had let Andrea and Gavin talk her into going.

"You need to get out more." Andrea said

'Honey, you are too young and sexy to sit home every night like an old spinster." Gavin chimed in.

So she had gone, she even bought a costume. The theme that year had been favorite book characters. Sharon remembered the fun she and her kids had reading the Harry Potter books and decided to go as Hermoine Granger. She felt a little uncomfortable in the costume but reminded herself that everyone else would be in costume too. When she walked into the ball room she looked around at everyone who was having a great time. People with their significant others or just laughing and having fun with coworkers. It was one of those times that Sharon felt alone in a crown of people. She decided she was ready to leave when she turned to go she ran into Lieutenant Flynn wearing a robe that matched her own.

"Captain, or should I say Hermonie?" He laughed recognizing her costume at once.

"Lieutenant, hi, I see you are from Gryffindor as well, but no glasses so would that make you Ron?" She asked with a slight laugh.

"Yeah, these books were some of my kid's favorites and I always felt a connection to Ron." He chuckled.

"Hmm, I could see that." She laughed starting to feel relaxed a little.

"A bunch of us are over there, do you want to join us?" He asked nervously.

"Thank you Lieutenant, I will be there in just a minute." She said excusing herself to the bar to grab a glass of wine first.

"I can come with you, it's all right. Provenza as a drunk Atticus Finch isn't' all that exciting. "He accompanied her to the bar and order himself a cranberry soda as Sharon order herself a glass of wine."

They got their drinks and were making their way back to the rest of the Major Crimes division. When Sharon over heard some officers taking. "Yeah, I heard she was coming tonight. Halloween is probably her favorite holiday."

"Yeah, the Wicked Witch doesn't even need a costume." One of them laughed and Sharon felt herself tense up knowing they were talking about her.

"Or she could have just worn her trench coat and been just fine as her usual Darth Raydor."

"I heard her husband use to call her the Ice Queen, so there's always that too." Another one joked.

"I heard she's here as someone from Harry Potter, so now we can just call her 'She that can't be named' "and the whole group erupted in laughter. Sharon turned to leave all to use to the jokes people made about her when she noticed Andy was walking towards the group of officers his hands clinched at his sides.

"Lieutenant, where are you going?" She asked him nervously and he didn't answer her. "Lieutenant stop," and he kept walking. "Andy, please don't" she finally said and he turned around to face her.

"They shouldn't talk about you that way. It's not right." He said the anger apparent in his face and voice.

"They aren't the first ones Andy, and they won't be the last." She reminded him and the words stung because they both knew she was talking at least in part about him.

"I'm sorry Captain, I really am." He said shoving his hands in the pockets of his Gryffindor robe.

"I appreciate that Lieutenant, I do, but if you excuse me I think I will head home." She said placing her glass of wine on a table and turning to go.

"You shouldn't let them ruin your night. You should stay with us." He said.

"Andy, nobody in your division wants to spend the Halloween party with me costume or no costume. Thank you but good night." She said as she walked off.

Andy stood and watched her go fighting the unexplainable urge to go after her. He sighed as he watched her take off her robe and leave it on the steps of the building as she walked towards her car.

"See, Halloween is just not for me." Sharon said sadly watching her past self walk away alone and embarrassed.

"But these are the Halloweens of the past" the girl reminded her, "You have a present and future Halloweens that could still be wonderful."

"I just don't think so." Sharon realizing that the girl was suddenly gone and she was standing in a different house that she didn't recognize.

TBC