The darkness was absolute once the lanterns were out for the night. There was only sound, and touch, and smell, once sight was gone. The sound of Nezumi's gentle breathing, steady and peaceful. The smell of dust and books and the leftover scent in the air of the stew Nezumi had made for dinner. The feel of Nezumi's warm back pressing against Shion's. Though they would go to bed on opposite sides, it seemed like by the morning they both ended up pressed against one another, as if seeking the other's warmth. Sleep hadn't come easily to him tonight, so he'd laid here, in the darkness. Nezumi's body was always warm, even though his hands were always cool. And if Shion lay still enough, holding his breath, he could feel the gentle beating of the other boy's heart against his back.
Nezumi had scolded him for using the word 'attracted' but it hadn't been wrong… Nezumi had scoffed at him, and made fun of him in those harsh words, but as the thoughts had turned over and over in his head, the more he realized that's exactly what he'd meant to say. He felt his face burn in the darkness, even though no one was here to see, and certainly no one could hear his thoughts. It was still embarrassing, that he had such strong feelings for this strange boy he barely knew. The bruises on his legs ached as he shifted, rolling over so his chest pressed to Nezumi's back, and he nuzzled into the back of the other boy's neck.
Nezumi made a noise in his sleep, squirming around a little, and his legs lashed out, though he didn't hit Shion this time. Shion had gone still, barely daring to breathe, but when he did breathe the clean scent of Nezumi's hair flooded his nostrils. It was soft, softer than he would have expected, and though he knew that hair was not alive in the way that the rest of the body was, it felt warm and alive from the residual heat of Nezumi's body. He slipped his arm around Nezumi's waist, pressing his palm to the other's chest, feeling the gentle beating of his heart.
That was what woke him up, it seemed, as Nezumi suddenly squirmed, and a hand gripped Shion's wrist, fingers cool and strong. He pulled his head away, out of Nezumi's hair, but no doubt he'd already felt him there.
"What're you doing?" he muttered blearily, voice still slurred slightly in sleep.
"I-I'm sorry," Shion said quietly, and tried to pull his hand away, but the tight grip on his wrist didn't let him. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"I was feeling your heart." Perhaps telling the truth would be the best way to go about this… The hand released his wrist, and Shion pulled it back, tucking his chin towards his chest, feeling his face burn hot again. He expected scathing words or sarcasm or some quote, but not the laughter. It started quiet, then rose in volume until Nezumi shoved his face into the pillow, muffling it.
"You're funny," he finally said once he'd gotten hold of himself again, and Shion could feel him looking. The darkness at night didn't bother Nezumi; he'd get up and walk around sometimes in the pitch black. And it was always Nezumi that lit the lanterns in the morning.
"I didn't do anything funny!"
"You call feeling me up in the dark normal, then?" The smirk was in his words as much as it was probably on his face. The bed shifted as he rolled over, so he was facing Shion in the dark.
"I wasn't lying or using the wrong word when I said I was attracted to you," Shion said quickly, before he lost his nerve. The silence that followed his words stretched into the darkness, spreading into an oppressive feeling atmosphere.
Shion couldn't take it, and leaned forward. He felt his body shaking as he leaned forward, his lips not quite finding Nezumi's in the dark, but correcting it a moment later, then pulling back quickly. His hands trembled against his chest, even clenched into fists.
"Ha… You really are weird, Shion. Turning down a pretty girl when she's asking you for sex… And then saying you're in love with a man. You're definitely a weirdo."
"Stop calling me weird," Shion protested. It was weird, maybe, to feel like this. But that moment on the platform, when Safu had been standing there, and then suddenly Nezumi had been there… Even Safu had said she'd never seen him act that way before. He'd read stories since coming here, about how crazy people acted when they were in love, and the fact that four years ago he hadn't felt concerned at all about losing the easy path he'd had for his future, and that he had so easily followed Nezumi out of the city to this place…
Deep in thought, he flinched away from the sudden touch on his head instinctively, but then fingers combed through his hair until they pressed against the back of his head, pulling him forward. Nezumi's lips were warm against his, and more sure than his own less-than-graceful advance. Nezumi knew what he was doing. Shion felt his eyes close, and in his mind, he pictured those grey eyes that captivated him.
Like the sky before morning, or storm clouds might be more accurate. Deep and intense, hiding things, and sometimes sparkling with humor, sometimes fiery with anger. Those grey eyes that had haunted him since four years ago.
Shion didn't realize as he let a sigh out through the kiss, and his hands moved to touch that chest, lean and muscular and hot to the touch, and he noticed with surprise that Nezumi's heart was beating fast beneath his hand. He spread his fingers out across the skin, and felt the nip of teeth on his bottom lip.
His own pulse was racing, his heart beating in his chest like it had the night of the tsunami, when he'd screamed out the window into that storm. The same rush of adrenaline, the pounding of his heart. The touch of Nezumi's long, thin fingers tangled in his hair, pushing him into the kiss.
This wasn't his first kiss, but it was the first kiss where he'd felt like this, and he made a quiet sound of protest when the other pulled away, fingers moving from his head, then suddenly pressing into the bed beside his head, as Nezumi moved so he was suddenly sitting across Shion's hips.
"Ne—" The other's name was cut off as lips closed over his again, and his eyes widened, though he couldn't see much besides the dim shape of Nezumi's face, as he felt the other's tongue slide across his. Fingers brushed his cheek, the tender motion uncharacteristic of Nezumi's usual nonchalant, almost cruel sarcasm.
The warm weight of another human laying atop him was strange but not uncomfortable, or rather, wouldn't be, if it weren't for the fact that he could feel his body responding. The kiss broke unexpectedly, and Nezumi sat back, hand coming to rest on Shion's skin where that red mark wrapped around his body. His body was hot, so Nezumi's normally cool touch felt cold on his skin, and he sucked in his stomach away from the thin fingers, Nezumi's hand following the path of it towards his hip.
Nezumi's words flashed through his head again, the touch of his fingers when he'd woken up like this. He'd complimented it then, even going so far as to call it sexy. Shion was jolted back to reality when fingers slipped beneath the waistband of his underwear. It was his turn to ask.
"What are you doing?" He slid up the bed, but that only forced the hand down his hip further, taking his clothing with it. Even with that shocked exclamation, Nezumi didn't cease what he was doing. He didn't seem to have any reaction at all.
"Taking them off," Nezumi stated simply, as if commenting on the weather.
Shion wasn't sure what was stranger, hearing that tone from the one who was taking off his clothes, or that he was in this situation in the first place… Or maybe he should be more worried that he was taking it all like number sets and data points.
Shion bit back laughter, and Nezumi stopped what he was doing, his thumbs hooked under the elastic in his underwear, the fabric tight across his hips. "What's wrong?"
"I… I really am strange, aren't I?" Shion murmured, smiling to himself in the dark, a little glad Nezumi couldn't see it. "I mean… You'd think I'd finally stop trying to quantify everything when we're like this, but I can't help it."
Nezumi let out a sigh, and Shion could almost imagine the face he was making. "Totally unsexy," he muttered, but it didn't seem to be enough to stop him from persisting in his motions, the fabric sliding over Shion's skin.
Every millimeter seemed to take an eternity, and the slide of fingers across his hips was an all new sensation; the touch of Nezumi's cool fingers on skin that was only accustomed to the touch of his own hands in the shower or while dressing himself. It made him gasp, and Nezumi's fingers faltered for a moment.
Shion reached down in the darkness, his hands closing over Nezumi's. "Don't stop."
"Of course, your highness," Nezumi replied, sharp sarcasm slipping into the words. The hands below Shion's tensed, then relaxed as he heard Nezumi exhale slowly. Not a sigh, but a conscious action. His words were quiet when he spoke again. "Let go of my hands." Shion lifted his hands away, not quite sure what to do with them, so his fingers tangled in the sheets. The underwear slipped down over his thighs, then slid easily off.
There was a moment of silence, as Nezumi settled this time between Shion's legs, arranging them on either side of him, so that now and then when he moved, Shion's calf would brush his side. The last thing he expected was the gentle touch of fingers across his penis. He was grateful for his hands in the sheets, fingers tightening into fists. Nezumi's fingers were sure, stroking him a few times.
"Nezumi…" His voice was hoarse even in his own throat, and he bit back a cry when a wet heat passed over the tip of his growing erection, then a moment later, lips closed around it. He tried not to squirm, but he couldn't help but shift. It was just too much, as Nezumi's mouth moved lower, lower, until fingers pulled away, pressing on his thigh to keep his legs spread. The next time Nezumi's name slipped from his lips, it was barely recognizable as such.
Even so, he didn't stop. In fact, the hoarse utterance of his name only seemed to urge Nezumi further, faster, harder. Shion felt the burn of his flush in his face, both from the pounding of his heart, the growing heat of his orgasm slowly building, the embarrassment of Nezumi pleasuring him so, but the other boy was letting out soft noises of his own. Shion glanced downwards, even though he knew he wouldn't see anything.
One hand loosened from the sheets, to reach up, reaching out blindly, fingers finding Nezumi's hair, resting there as he moved over Shion. "Nezumi," he gasped into the dark, eyes clenching shut. Fingers closed into a fist around the first things they could find, Nezumi's hair soft and thick in his hand. The sheets suddenly felt hot and sticky, clinging to his skin as he came closer, and closer to the edge. "I… I can't…"
It was one thing to know what was going to happen during orgasm. It was quite another to experience it. The adrenaline and hormones flooding his system, the muscles tensing in almost every part of his body, breath short and quick in his throat. The quiet hiss of breath as Shion pulled at his hair as his back arched, for just a few moments that seemed to last an eternity before he settled back against the bed, the sheets too heavy suddenly, the sound of his blood rushing through his ears. He smiled into the dark.
He heard and felt Nezumi shifting again, flopping back onto the bed beside him. Hesitantly, he reached out, hand resting on what he was guessing was Nezumi's shoulder. A hand grabbed his wrist, pulling his arm further, tugging Shion close against Nezumi's back. He was debating whether the fellatio warranted a thanks when Nezumi rolled over, burying his face into Shion's shoulder, and wrapped his arms around Shion's form.
"Goodnight."
Shion blinked in the darkness, then smiled, nuzzling into Nezumi's hair, imagining the flush that he felt against his skin actually gracing the stoic face, those storm grey eyes swirling with… Whatever it was that just happened. "Goodnight."
As he drifted into sleep, Shion wondered whether there would be another occasion, an occasion he could return the sentiment… He fell asleep breathing in Nezumi's scent, warm and musty like the books that surrounded them.