It happened so fast that Dean's hands were still in the air, fingers closed on nothing where they had moments ago been holding fabric. The laundry he'd been folding was gone, as was the room around him.
He spun around, trying to overcome the momentary feeling of vertigo at the sudden change. People were walking by him, laughing and chatting, and the smell of salt was heavy on the air; as he looked past the people, he could see why. Over the wooden railing he could see the line of beach extending off into the horizon, the ocean a heavy presence on his left as he started to breathe again. Clouds were churning off to sea, grey and volatile above the dark blue of the water.
"What the hell?" he said, which earned a glare from a woman walking by with a child clutching each arm, the children loudly arguing about what kind of boat ride they wanted to take. He ignored her entirely; he was a little more worried about the fact that he'd been in Kansas five seconds ago than he was worried about offending her delicate sensibilities.
A hand closed on his shoulder, and he jumped and reached for the gun in his waistband that wasn't actually there (because maybe he'd gotten a little lazy about staying armed in the bunker, so sue him). Luckily, he didn't need it- it was Sam behind him, looking just as confused as Dean, pushing his hair away from his face as it whipped wildly in the wind.
"Dean, what happened?" he asked, and Dean let out a half-laugh and shrugged.
"Hell if I know, were you messing with anything in the storage room? Where are we, anyway?"
"I was in the shower," Sam said with a frown, and Dean raised an eyebrow at him, because he definitely didn't look like he'd been in the shower- he was fully clothed, and his hair wasn't even damp. Sam gave him a helpless shrug. "I don't know. I kind of appreciate not being teleported naked, though, so there's that."
Dean snorted. "What do we know of that can teleport us around like this?"
"Angels," a familiar voice said, and Dean turned and sighed with relief when he saw the familiar trench coat and suit as Castiel made his way through the crowd.
"Cas, man, I am glad to see you right now," he said as he took another look around them for anyone familiar. He came up empty; just bait shops, surf shops, restaurants, and a giant ferris wheel, and no one else he knew in the crowd. He turned back to Castiel. "Do you know what's going on? Because if you wanted to take us on a vacation, man, all you had to do was say so."
Castiel narrowed his eyes in that familiar way, like he was trying to decide if Dean was being serious or not. "I don't know why we're here. Or how," he said, and he looked rather annoyed about it, too. "I was in Heaven. Nothing should be able to reach through like that."
"Not even another angel?" Sam asked, and Castiel shook his head.
"No. Not from where I was."
Dean didn't like the sound of that. Something that could reach into Heaven and yank out an angel, and teleport them straight out of the well-protected bunker? It didn't sound like anything he'd ever want to meet. And as much as he liked the beach, the mode of transportation to get there was creeping him the hell out. "Can you zap us back home?" he asked, and Castiel paused for a moment and took a breath.
"No," he finally said, his shoulders slumping the slightest bit. "My grace is bound here. Something about this place is…wrong."
"Well, that's comforting," Dean muttered before he walked over to the wooden railing and peered over. On the beach below, children played in the sand, and…hell, there were a lot of hot women down there. He'd been to a beach before, and normally he found one or two ladies that would really turn his head, the rest being old women in their one pieces and wraps and huge hats.
"Sam, somethin' about this seem strange to you?" he said, and Sam joined him at the railing and looked down at the beach. Dean turned his attention to the men, and while he wouldn't profess to be an expert in what women found attractive in a man, he was pretty sure there was a disproportionate amount of male model types down there.
"What's strange?" Sam asked, and Dean rolled his eyes.
"The girls, Sam. I mean, usually there's at least a couple around that are a two, but…these are all like, eights and tens," Dean pointed out, and he could just feel the look Sam gave him in return.
"Really? We're teleported here by an unknown force and you're concentrating on how the women look?"
"No, come on, that's not…" Dean started, and then he sighed. "Okay, maybe a little, but geez, Sam, just look. This beach is like the waiting room at a plastic surgeon's office on Rodeo Drive. Other than the little kids. But these kids are like, catalog kids, not normal kids."
Sam raised an eyebrow. "You're worried because everyone here is attractive?"
"Dean is right," Castiel said, and Dean couldn't help but give Sam a cocky look as the angel joined them at the railing. "The people here are…different. I don't believe we're in our own universe."
"Something threw us in an alternate universe where all the people are hot? I'm…not really complaining yet," Dean pointed out, and Sam elbowed him, just as there was a scream from the beach below them.
"Shark! Get out of the water!" someone yelled, and Dean spotted the problem- a rapidly growing pool of blood in the water a couple dozen feet from shore. People closest to the attack seemed to be taking it seriously, heading for shore, but others blew it off completely, unable to see the blood from where they were swimming.
"Why do I get the feeling that wasn't a random shark attack?" Sam asked, and no sooner had he said it was there another scream cutting through the air. This time they didn't have to look- a man was pulling a woman up onto the beach, one of her legs completely gone, leaving a trail of thick blood behind in the sand.
Sam was already moving, heading for the stairs that led down to beach level, but something caught Dean's eye in the water- shapes, dozens of them, dark smears under the waves. They couldn't be all sharks, he was sure of it- up until he saw one leap from the water and clamp its jaws down on a surfer, dragging him right off his surfboard and into bloody water.
There were other surfers out there, too far to make it to shore- and as Dean leaned farther over the railing, he saw another set of wooden stairs leading down to a jet ski rental dock. He spared one glance at Sam and Castiel, both of them headed to the beach to help the wounded, then he turned and took the other set of stairs two at a time, shoes heavy on the wooden dock as he raced out to the jet skis.
The whole time he told himself over and over that this was a dream. It wasn't real. Sharks didn't hunt by the dozens, they didn't leap from the water to knock people off their surfboards; this was absolutely insane. But everywhere he looked people were being yanked under the water and- really? Was that a shark hauling itself up onto the beach to snap at people?
What kind of universe was this?
He ignored the panicked teenager behind the counter of the jet ski rental, hopped onto one of the jet skis, and twisted the key sitting firm in the ignition. The jet ski roared to life underneath him, and he squeezed the handlebars hard, which nearly turned out to be an embarrassing mistake. The jet ski leapt forward, and Dean had to scramble not to get thrown off as it raced away from the dock.
Sharks darted underneath him as he pushed the jet ski to its limits, cresting each wave and dropping into the dip behind it as he looked for someone who needed help. There weren't many left- and it wasn't because they'd left the water. There was too much blood in the water to assume that.
He spotted a man clinging to a surfboard, and he turned the handlebars and headed for him, hoping to get there before a shark did. As he turned, he saw a flash of grey out of the corner of his eye- and barely ducked in time as a shark leapt from the water and soared over the jet ski like a dolphin jumping through a hoop at Sea World.
"Fuck!" he snapped, letting go of the handlebars as he got closer to the surfer. The jet ski slowed, and it never even had a chance to come to a full stop; Dean helped the surfer onto the jet ski, then squeezed the handlebars again, the jet ski lurching forward. Sitting still out here wasn't a good idea and he knew it; hell, even moving didn't seem to guarantee safety.
He wrenched the handlebars back toward shore and gunned it, water spraying up behind the jet ski as he hauled ass toward the beach. Every shadow under the water made him flinch, every fin that cut through the surface another imminent threat, but he managed to dodge them- and he wasn't taking any chances by slowing down when he got to land. He drove the jet ski onto the beach at full speed, sliding to a quick, rough stop in the wet sand. Sam and Castiel knelt nearby, Sam pulling a makeshift cloth tourniquet tighter around the stump where the teenage girl's leg had once been. Dean jumped off the jet ski and ran to them, swallowing past the lump of disgust in his throat at seeing the gruesome scene up close.
For her part, the girl was taking her loss of limb hard- but not physically. She was crying and pale, her sobs making her words hard to understand, but Dean got the idea; she was worried that having a fake leg wouldn't look good.
A shark had bitten off her limb, and she was worried about amputee fashion.
What. The. Fuck.
"Thanks, man," the surfer he'd rescued said as he jogged up beside him. The man was a bit older than Dean, with brownish-blonde curly hair and a beard. Dean just nodded dumbly at him, because he was still trying to comprehend all this- flying sharks, plus the fact that nobody here seemed to be questioning what was happening.
Castiel spotted Dean and glared, then stood up and stepped away from the distraught girl. "That was reckless," he said, looking at the surfer for only a moment before he was focused on Dean again. "We don't know what to expect here. You shouldn't go off on your own."
"Yes, mom," Dean muttered with a roll of his eyes, and Castiel squinted at him suspiciously.
"I am not your mother."
"No, really? I couldn't tell."
"Guys, not now," Sam snapped, standing up as two medics rushed across the sand. He explained what he'd done so far and stepped back to let them get to work. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and Dean looked down the beach to find it nearly deserted, aside from the injured who were now being tended to.
"Storm's comin' in. Look, I own a bar up on the pier. You're welcome to come up to my place before it hits," the surfer said, and Sam and Dean shared a look- it was probably best to get out of the storm while they considered their next move, anyway.
"Yeah, okay. Sounds good," Sam said with a nod, and the man led the way back to the steps. Dean took one last look at the injured girl, who was trying her best to flirt with one of the medics despite being in agonizing pain, before he followed.
Something was seriously wrong with this universe.
"Name's Fin," the surfer said; he seemed awfully calm considering what they had just been through.
"I'm Sam. This is Castiel, and that's Dean," Sam said, pointing at each in turn. Fin raised an eyebrow at Castiel; the weird name plus the fact that he wore a full suit and trench coat on the beach were probably enough to confuse anyone. Castiel, as usual, was oblivious to the scrutiny.
"Do the sharks always act like that around here?" Dean asked, and Fin gave him a strange look.
"No, man. They're sharks. They don't act like that anywhere."
Well, that was comforting, at least. These people may not be reacting to it quite right, but at least it wasn't normal here. If they stayed far enough on land, they'd be fine- a shark could only wiggle its way across land so far before it died. Even alternate reality sharks.
The bar was one of the smaller ones on the pier, built like an oversized wooden shack with gaudy neon lights on the outside. Then again, everything was gaudy on this pier, so it was more status quo than standing out. The inside was just like any other bar Dean had been in before in small town America- aside from the surfboards and fishing poles decorating the walls.
"Fin, did you see all that?" a woman asked from behind the bar, a stocky brunette with tanned skin- and now that she was coming out from behind the bar, Dean could add 'killer curves' to that list. Of course, the second she caught Dean staring, she shot him an annoyed glare.
"Yeah, I saw it. Guys, this here is Nova, one of my bartenders. Nova, this is Sam, Dean, and Castiel. Drinks on the house for them, Dean here saved my ass," Fin explained, and Nova looked Dean's way with new appreciation- or less irritation, anyway, he thought.
"Thanks. I'd hate to be out of a job if he bit it," she joked, and Fin ignored her and walked behind the bar. Another man was sitting at the bar nursing a drink, watching the three of them as Sam and Dean sat down- Castiel, meanwhile, stood by the front window with a frown.
"You guys sure don't look like beach people," the man said, and judging by the 'crocodile hunter' accent, he had to be Australian. He looked like the type of guy Dean loved to hate; all muscles and tan, not to mention the dark hair frosted on the tips with blonde. It was practically the national symbol for 'douchebag'. Nobody frosted their tips since NSync stopped touring. And they shouldn't have then, either.
"We were just planning on walking the pier," Sam said, and the man nodded, and then held out his hand.
"Baz. Friend of Fin's."
Sam shook his hand, then gave Dean a pointed look until he did the same. Outside it was beginning to rain, and the thunder was more constant now, and closer. Dean looked back at Castiel, but the angel was silent, probably still mad at him for going jet skiing through a shark swarm- but it looked like he was concerned, too. Not that he and Sam weren't, but it probably bothered Castiel more, knowing that something had the power to reach into heaven and yank him out.
The only one who'd gotten it over on Castiel like this before was Gabriel, and as far as Dean knew, all the archangels were dead or locked up.
"It doesn't usually storm like this here, does it?" Sam asked Baz, and Baz shook his head, taking a swig of his beer.
"No, mate. Hurricane shot up here from Mexico, nobody can explain it. Storm of the century and all. If it weren't for the crazy sharks, people would still be down there tryin' the waves."
"A hurricane is about to make landfall and everything on the pier is still open?" Dean asked, because from what he knew, when a hurricane rolled in everybody boarded up and toughed it out. Or, if it was bad enough, they boarded up and evacuated. It wasn't business as usual. Baz didn't seem bothered, though.
"Never got a hurricane up here. I guess people are curious," he said as Nova sat three beers down on the bar. Fin stood behind the bar and stared at his cell phone, looking conflicted before he flipped it open and dialed.
"Who are you calling?" Nova asked.
"My ex-wife," Fin replied, and Nova's eyes widened.
"You have an ex-wife?"
Fin waved her off as Dean heard a female voice on the other end of the line. He drank his beer, trying not to seem like he was eavesdropping even though he totally was. Hey, the more they knew about the people in this universe, the better.
He didn't catch all of it, but he got the general idea- Fin wanted to drive up to the hills and pick up his ex-wife and daughter, ex-wife was pissed off about it, she had a new man and didn't need Fin, the usual ex-wife conflicts. Dean tuned it out about halfway through, choosing instead to slide off the barstool and go over to where Castiel stood by the window.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, following Castiel's gaze. It was raining, and grey clouds were churning slowly in the sky, but people here had responded by…getting out their umbrellas. He wondered if the word 'hurricane' meant the same thing here as it did back in their world.
"I'm thinking that there's something strange about this storm."
Dean snorted. "Other than the fact that it was preceded by a pack of sharks with rabies? What do you even call a group of sharks, a school?"
"A shiver."
"What?"
"A group of sharks is called a shiver. And those sharks were not diseased."
"Dude, how do you know that and not know what Bugs Bunny is?"
"I fail to see what a cartoon rabbit has to do with the etymology related to sharks."
Dean was about to answer when a scream from outside turned his attention back to the window. He heard a loud crash farther down the pier, more screaming, and just as he turned to call out to Sam, the windows shattered.
Cold water flooded in and knocked Dean and Castiel off their feet, dragging them back until the bar stopped the water- and then half the wall caved in as a massive shark swept into the bar on another crash of water.
"Shit!" Dean snapped, trying to stand up and get out of the reach of teeth that were probably the size of his hand, and he scrambled out of the way just in time. The shark thrashed and its teeth closed on another customer, blood filling the water again as Dean helped Castiel up onto the bar.
Nova climbed onto the bar with them, gripping a pool cue in her hand, but she didn't look scared- she looked pissed off. She snapped the pool cue in half over her knee, and before Dean could grab for her, she jumped into the knee-deep water and waded toward the shark, pushing floating furniture out of the way.
"Nova!" he yelled, but she didn't turn around- and just as the shark tossed its head toward her, she lifted the pool cue and drove it straight down through the shark's head.
Dean didn't know if he was impressed, or horrified.
"We've got to get out of here!" Sam yelled over the rush of water and the screams from outside, and Dean didn't need any more convincing. They needed to get inland, away from the ocean, and fast, because this shit was insane. Dean jumped into the bloody water, Castiel and Sam close behind; Fin, Baz, and Nova were waiting for them at the door, and hell, Dean wanted Nova on his side, along with the shotgun that Fin had in his hands now.
Outside, though, even Nova stared in disbelief at what was going on.
Wind and waves whipped at the shore violently, and there were specks in the air, but they were only specks till they got thrown closer- sharks. There were dozens, maybe hundreds of sharks being thrown by the wind, and anytime their jaws came within snapping distance of a human, they twisted and chomped down. Dean was sure he was asleep, that this was some kind of insane dream from one too many beers, but the wind battering him definitely felt real. The cold rain felt real.
And it definitely felt real when Castiel yanked him and Sam out of the way just as a shark went flying by and crashed into the destroyed bar.
"Come on!" Fin yelled, taking off toward solid land, and Dean forced himself to follow despite the urge to stand there and stare at the spectacle going on around them. Unfortunately, it was a deadly spectacle, and his first reminder of that was when a shark slammed into the wooden planks beside him and started thrashing. He jumped over it and avoided the teeth by inches.
He heard a loud creaking noise, then a snap that was even louder than the thunder, and he couldn't help but look over his shoulder. At first he was confused, sure that his eyes were playing a trick on him in the wind and rain, but it only took a few seconds to realize what he was actually seeing.
The massive ferris wheel near the end of the pier had broken loose and, like a coin rolling on its edge, was barreling toward them and crushing everything it hit. It shouldn't have been possible, there were a dozen reasons why that just couldn't happen, but he was staring at it.
And there was no way they could get out of the way quick enough.
He skidded to a stop, and Castiel ran into him and gave him a confused and panicked look, Sam barely stopping in time behind them. Dean wasn't looking at either of them, though- he was looking up, pushing both of them backwards towards the ferris wheel as it rolled closer.
"Dean, what are you doing?!" Castiel yelled over the mayhem, but Dean finally stopped them, and then pulled them both down hard. Castiel and Sam dropped to their knees along with Dean just as a gap in the steel beams rolled over them, so close that Dean felt the slight rush of wind off the massive structure as it lifted away.
It had worked for that Aladdin kid in the Disney movie, right? And though Castiel and Sam looked a little pale, both were unhurt. The people beyond them weren't so lucky- Fin, Baz, and Nova had been able to move out of the way, but the wheel was picking up more blood and pieces of building as it rolled, and Dean reminded himself not to look down as they started running toward land again; this time without being chased down by a murderous ferris wheel.
When they got to the end of the pier they were all completely soaked, clothes plastered to skin in the driving, relentless rain. Fin pointed to a nearby SUV, and they followed without question, Baz getting in the front and the three of them getting into the back with Nova. Dean climbed into the second backseat with Castiel, letting Sam sit beside Nova.
"Where are we going?" Nova asked, leaning forward to look out the windshield. Fin had already thrown the car into gear, barely missing panicked pedestrians as he pulled out.
"I'm going to get my wife and daughter. I can drop you guys off somewhere if you don't want to come along," he said, but no one objected. Sam and Dean shared a look; better to stay with the people who had weapons and a vehicle than take their chances on the streets.
Especially now that the streets were flooding.
Dean turned to Castiel, and found the angel looking down with his jaw clenched and a frustrated look on his face. "Hey," Dean said, setting a hand on Castiel's shoulder and speaking low enough that the others couldn't hear him. "Relax. We got this, okay?"
"I should be able to do more. I should be able to break the barrier on my grace, Dean," he said.
"You saved us from being dinner for a flying shark. I think you're doing pretty good without your mojo."
"Guys, look," Sam said, and Dean and Castiel looked up at the flooded streets. At first Dean didn't see anything different- until a fin sliced through the surface of the water beside the car.
"Great. I think I prefer a traffic jam," Dean muttered, stiffening as the car drove into even deeper water. "Hey, I don't think you should go any deeper, this thing'll stall," he said to Fin.
"I've got the engine waterproofed, it's okay," Fin said, and for a moment, Dean wondered if he was joking.
"…Why?" he asked, because waterproofing a vehicle wasn't easy or cheap; usually people had a damn good justification for it. Fin just shrugged.
"I live near the ocean."
"And you planned on driving into it?"
"Dean, knock it off," Sam muttered, and Dean sat back until the car pulled to a stop in front of an overpass. Underneath the low-lying overpass cars were stalled and half flooded, and Dean could see people getting out of the cars, standing in the water- they didn't know about the sharks.
"Fuck," Dean said, opening the door and scrambling out, followed by Sam and Castiel. Evidently they had the same idea, because Sam moved to help a woman out the window of her car, and Castiel watched the water around them for sharks.
"You've gotta get out of here. Leave the car, get out of the water," Dean insisted to a young man in a suit, but the guy stayed beside the car, one hand set possessively on the side of the silver BMW.
"It's just water!" he said, and then he was promptly yanked beneath the water with a scream.
That was enough to get people moving. Fin and Baz were helping one family while Sam and Dean helped the other people. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw Cas move toward one of the stalled cars and slam his elbow into the window a few times until it cracked. Dean couldn't figure out why until the window pried free, and a Golden Retriever leaped out and began to swim to safety.
"Baz!" he heard Nova scream, and he turned in time to see Baz pulled away from a car and into the bloody water. Dean made sure the woman he'd helped was in the water too shallow for the sharks before he ran back to Nova, grabbing onto her arm.
"Come on! You can't help him!" he yelled, and she fought at first, but finally gave in and trudged through the water and back to the SUV. Everyone else seemed alright- Castiel had blood running down his arm from a nasty cut to his elbow, though, and Dean reached for it to have a look.
"I'm fine," Castiel insisted, but Dean tore a strip of wet cloth from his plaid shirt and wrapped it tight around the wound.
"Blood in the water is a saying for a reason, you know," he said, though he had to suppress a shudder at the thought of Cas in Baz's place, pulled under by a shark's teeth tearing through flesh and snapping bone-
No. They were not going to die by flying fucking shark after they'd stared apocalypse in the face. No fucking way.
Sam called for them and they got back in the SUV, all of them shivering by now from the cold water plus the rain. Dean was relieved when they started driving farther away from the ocean; if the guy's ex-wife had a beach house, no way would they go with them.
Luckily, they didn't run into any more stranded people on the way there, the road winding up the side of the hill in thick trees. Fin pulled onto a narrow, short drive, pulling to a stop near the fancy white house. Even here on the hill, water bubbled out of the nearby sewer drain onto the street and the driveway.
The ex-wife was already out on the steps, and she didn't look happy to see Fin in the least. Dean followed the others out of the car- he figured they might be here a while, watching these two fight it out.
"I told you not to come! Who are these people?! And why do you have a shotgun?!" she shrieked, her bleach blonde hair barely moving from its perfectly straight style, even in the rain. That was some strong hairspray.
"Listen to me, April. There are sharks in the streets. It's all flooded. We need to get Chloe and head inland," Fin said, and April rolled her eyes and laughed.
"You are crazy. You are actually crazy. Sharks in the streets? Really, Fin?"
"We can't fight about this right now. We have to go!"
"I'm not going anywhere, and neither is Chloe! We have Colin now, you know, and he says this is all going to just blow over. And I believe him."
If Dean didn't know God was doing fuck-all right now, he would have thought the guy had a morbid sense of humor- because that moment was the one when a flood of water came rushing out of the sewer, and with it, a good sized shark that knocked the metal grate out of place in the cement. The water pushed the shark right toward Fin and April, and Fin barely got turned around in time to shoot it. April screamed and stumbled back toward the door as more water rushed through the yard and into the pristine swimming pool.
"Come on!" Fin yelled, and Dean made sure Castiel and Sam were with him before he followed them into the house. It was like a fuckin' movie set- all white marble and pristine surfaces, stairs curving up to the left to a landing on the second floor. And on the landing stood a man who Dean could only assume was Colin, and a young blonde girl who was probably Chloe.
"April, are you alright? Who are these people?" Colin asked as he came down the stairs, sending Fin a glare as he wrapped an arm around April.
"Look, we don't have time to deal with your domestic dispute here," Dean snapped before Fin could start fighting with the guy. "The streets are flooded. There are fuckin' sharks in your pool. We need to get the hell out of here."
Colin laughed. "Okay, that's a good one. Really, Fin? You pick now to get your loser friends together for a prank?"
"It's not a prank. You're in serious danger if you stay here," Sam said, trying to be the voice of reason, but reason didn't really work when you're telling people there are sharks in their swimming pool. Colin's jaw worked in fury, and he let go of April and headed for the giant picture window by the door.
"There are no sharks out there. Look! No sharks!" he said as he threw the curtains back, and sure enough, there were no sharks until there totally were- in fact, it was mere seconds before one leapt from the floodwater and crashed through the glass, jaws clamping down on Colin's torso as the water flooded in through the broken window.
The screaming from April and Chloe was enough to nearly render Dean deaf, but he managed to move into action. Sam yanked a heavy wooden bookshelf over to block the bottom of the stairs, and Dean took the shotgun from Fin and unloaded three bullets into the shark's head before it finally stopped moving. The water was so thick with blood that it was impossible to see Colin; or more accurately, what was left of Colin, because nobody bled that much and walked away from it.
"Okay. We need to go, like, now," Sam said, and Fin grabbed April's arm with one hand and Chloe's with the other. Sam pushed the bookshelf a little farther across the floor and led the way, walking along the top of it to stay out of the bloody water on the way to the door. He looked back once he got to the porch, and he didn't even need to say anything- Dean tossed him the shotgun, and he kept watch while everyone else made it out of the house.
"Dad, we need to get Matt!"
Fin frowned. "Matt? Where is he?"
Chloe bit her lip. "Flight school, at Van Nuys."
"He went to flight school? He didn't tell me he was going," Fin said, and Nova snorted.
"Come on. You can bond later, we need to move," she said, and Sam kept the shotgun aimed at the water, watching for any sharks as they piled back into the car. He got in last and pulled the door shut with a relieved sigh.
"How's your elbow?" Dean asked Castiel as the car started to move; the angel had been unusually quiet and moody, probably still beating himself up about not being able to use his powers here.
"It's fine," Castiel said, both of them ignoring the argument going on up front, something about the kids not telling their dad when they did important things. Dean wasn't sure how they could worry about that shit when there were sharks swimming by the car, but he was beyond caring. He wanted to put as much distance between them and the coast as possible.
Turned out that was easier said than done. As soon as they were clear of the trees and on the more exposed roads, the whole situation became a whole lot more complicated; evidently the winds were strong enough that sharks were careening through the air even this far from the ocean, and Dean was so incredibly done with this place that he couldn't even express how done he was.
The car came to a halt, and at first Dean wasn't sure why Fin had stopped again, but then he spotted it- a school bus sitting below and beside the overpass, the floodwaters almost to the top of the wheels.
"There might be kids in there," Fin said, and April laughed in disbelief.
"There probably aren't. They would have gotten out already. Come on, we're wasting time," she said, but she was summarily ignored as everyone else got out of the car. Dean met Fin by the railing and looked down at the bus- it was impossible to tell if anyone was in it from here, but if there was, they weren't going anywhere. Sharks were circling around the bus, like vultures waiting on a dying creature to take its last breath. Of course, that also meant going down there would be suicide.
Sam and Castiel joined them, and Fin frowned down at the bus, and then headed for the SUV. "I have climbing gear in the car. I'm going to check," he said.
"Of course you have climbing gear in your waterproof car," Dean muttered, but no one heard him, because April was back to screeching.
"You are not going down there. Absolutely not. Your daughter is right here, and you want to get yourself killed?" she asked.
"Well, I'm not leaving without making sure there's no one on this bus."
"I'll go," Castiel suddenly said, and Dean turned around and gave him an incredulous look.
"Are you crazy, Cas? You don't know how to use that stuff," he said, but Castiel was already at Fin's side.
"You need to stay here with your daughter. Dean, you can stay up here and shoot the sharks that get too close. Just tell me what to do," Castiel said, and Fin considered it for a few long moments before he nodded.
"Alright. If you're sure," he said, and he started to strap Castiel in the harness and explain all the details about friction brakes and ascenders. Dean felt ill; he didn't want Castiel doing this. Fin, okay, or himself, but not Cas. As Castiel headed for the railing, Dean caught him by the arm.
"You really sure about this?" he asked, and Castiel's gaze was unwavering as he nodded firmly.
"Yes. Just…cover me, as you say," he said, stopping to wait as Fin got the ropes hooked up to the railing of the overpass. Castiel climbed to the other side, adjusted his hands on the friction brakes, and then pushed off.
Dean kept the shotgun at the ready, staring at the dark shapes around the bus as Castiel dropped toward the water. He finally got to the level of the bus, reached out, and grabbed the handle on the emergency exit door, swinging it open.
"It's okay. I'm here to help," Dean heard him say as he stepped into the back of the bus, and Dean let out a sigh of relief, both that he'd gotten down safely and that these kids hadn't been left stranded in the rising waters. There was a pause, and then Castiel appeared at the door again, a girl clinging to him like a koala to a tree. She was young, probably not older than ten, and she looked pale and terrified.
Castiel talked to her the whole way up, his feet working the ascenders one at a time until he reached the railing again. He helped the girl over and into Nova and Fin's arms, and they passed her off to Sam so he could move her to a safe dry place out of the way. April was on the phone with an emergency dispatcher, hopefully getting people out here quick to help these kids.
"How many are down there?" Dean asked Castiel before he could drop back down.
"Fourteen children and the driver."
Dean took in a sharp breath. "The water's rising too fast, you won't get them all."
"Well I certainly won't if I stand here conversing with you," Castiel said with a tired smile before pushing back from the railing. This time his descent was much faster as he adjusted to using the friction brakes, and in mere seconds he was picking up another child from the back of the bus, making sure the kid had a good grip on his harness before he started up again.
It was slow work, and with every child the water rose more and the rope began to fray where it lay against bottom of the concrete railing- because of course they make rock climbing ropes in this universe that can't actually be used on rock, imagine that- and by the time there were only two children and the driver left, water was beginning to cover the floor of the bus. Castiel took the time to help all three of them climb to the roof of the bus to buy more time, the rope fraying more and more with each trip.
"Cas, you've gotta hurry!" Dean called down, and Castiel grabbed onto the second to last kid, his arms shaking now with effort as he climbed back up. The last child made it over the railing just as a couple of ambulances pulled up to where the kids were huddled together waiting.
There was no way that Castiel could bring the bus driver up. Dean's grip tightened on the gun as he saw Castiel unstrap himself and step out of the harness, showing the bus driver where to put his feet and how to use the ascenders. Dean clenched his jaw, though he knew it wasn't fair to be mad at Castiel or the driver- there would be no other way to get him to safety.
It seemed to take forever, and with the bus driver being at least twice as heavy as Castiel, the rope was on its last legs. The bus driver finally scrambled over the railing, Fin, Nova, and Sam all helping him onto solid ground. Dean grabbed the harness as soon as it was free and tossed it down to Castiel.
"Come on, Cas!" he said, because the sharks beginning to get braver, swimming closer to the bus and sticking their heads out of the water like a fucking whale spy hopping. These were some fucking mutant sharks, he would swear to it, jumping around like dolphins and shit.
Castiel didn't bother with the harness; he just got his feet into the ascenders and grabbed onto the friction brakes, starting upward as fast as he could. He'd barely made it a few feet when a shark leapt from the water, its jaws closing on the end of the rope hanging below Castiel, and Dean cursed- Castiel was too low, he couldn't get a clean shot on the shark. The rope was about to snap, and Castiel only glanced down before continuing the climb.
The shark lunged upward and snapped its jaws down on the rope again, climbing higher on the rope.
What the actual fuck.
"Faster!" Dean yelled, his stomach twisting into knots as he aimed, trying to get a shot at the shark that wouldn't risk Castiel. The rope frayed one more time, it was almost gone, and he couldn't wait any longer.
As the shark did another tooth-crawl up the rope, Dean pulled the trigger.
The shark dropped into the water in a spray of gore, and Castiel flinched before moving his feet again, and Dean was already reaching for him because that rope was going to snap. He lunged over the railing and grabbed Castiel's outstretched hand just as the rope finally gave out, and the concrete railing pressed into his stomach painfully hard as he felt hands grab onto his ankles to keep him from going over the edge.
"Don't let go," Dean choked out, because he remembered this, remembered clinging desperately to Castiel's hand and begging him not to let go, and he'd lost him. He wouldn't let it happen again. Castiel's other hand reached up to grab his wrist, and Dean wriggled backward on the railing until Sam and Fin could grab his shoulders and haul him up, all three of them pulling Castiel over the railing. He collapsed onto the ground, breathless and shaking with exertion, but when he looked over at the kids he managed a slight smile.
"Never do that again," Dean snapped, and Castiel gave him a confused look.
"Okay," he answered nonetheless, and then the wind picked up with a vengeance, because one death-defying feat wasn't enough for them right now, evidently. Debris began to whip by them, then larger debris, and fuck, that wasn't debris, that was a fucking Volkswagen that just got thrown into their SUV. Dean dragged Castiel down flat on the ground as the wind screamed by them and a shark ricocheted off the railing right behind them.
It seemed like forever, but it was probably more like thirty seconds before the wind finally began to die down. Dean finally lifted his head, pausing for a few seconds before climbing to his feet and helping Castiel up. He held his breath until he spotted Sam, still safe and unhurt, and then he let out a sigh of relief.
"God damn," Dean heard someone say, and it was the bus driver, climbing to his feet and brushing the dirt off his khaki shorts. "Mom always said Hollywood would kill me!"
A flash of white and a deafening crash later, and where the driver had been standing, a giant white 'H' was speared into the road. The fucking H from the fucking Hollywood sign.
"I am so fucking done with this place," Dean said, and he once again pinched himself roughly to make absolutely certain that he wasn't having some crazy alcohol induced dream. Things like this didn't happen. They just didn't.
"Oh my god," Sam said from behind him, and when Dean looked up, he actually wasn't surprised. He really wasn't.
A tornado was tearing through the city, and even from here he could see the flashes of silver as sharks twisted through the air around the tornado. A shark tornado. This could not get any more ridiculous. It literally couldn't. It was impossible for this to get any more ridiculous than it already was. He was looking at a fucking sharknado.
"Well, what now?" Nova said, glaring at the spot on the pavement where the SUV had been parked before it got bitchslapped by a projectile Volkswagen.
"We'll find another car," Fin said, already starting to walk, and one by one, they followed. April ran to catch up with him, trying to slow him down.
"Find another car? You want to steal a car?"
"Lady, I think car theft is the last thing people are worried about right now," Dean pointed out, but she ignored him, still whining to her ex husband. Fin, though, had zeroed in on a car already, sitting in a nearby lot- and Dean blinked. It was a huge black Humvee, tricked out with rims and all the bells and whistles. He whistled low as Fin opened the door and looked inside.
"Any of you know how to hotwire a car?" he asked, and Dean smirked and stepped forward to climb into the Humvee and set to work. In less than thirty seconds the engine roared to life and he hopped out, ignoring the accusatory look from April.
"Thanks," Fin said, climbing into the driver's seat, and Dean made sure Sam and Castiel got in the Humvee before he followed suit. Dean looked out the back window as they pulled away, the tornado of sharks still grinding away through the city, like it had some kind of grudge against Los Angeles.
"Shit," he heard Fin say, and he turned around to find a police blockade ahead of them.
"Is there any other way to the school?" Chloe asked, and Dean knew the answer before Fin said it. Of course there wasn't. In this universe, nothing was that simple.
"Just tell them where you're going, I'm sure they-" Sam started, but he was cut off by the car jerking forward, and the next thing Dean knew they were crashing through the wooden road blocks. A police car flipped on its lights and gave chase, and the look Sam gave Fin was absolutely priceless.
"Was that really necessary?"
"Can't afford to wait," Fin said, and Dean smacked his hand on the window as they skidded around a corner, the police car close behind. At least until a massive shark was thrown into the side of the cruiser, and it flipped away, the siren warping strangely before dying out.
"Well. That was handy," Dean muttered, and Castiel gave him a look. Dean shrugged; it wasn't like he threw the shark at the car. It was just good timing.
It wasn't long before the Humvee was pulling to a stop by a huge open hangar and a line of helicopters sitting on helipads outside. One of the tornados was way too close for comfort, and they ran for the building, where two men met them just inside the hangar doors.
"Mom, Dad! What are you doing here?" the younger man asked, and Dean was tempted to make a snide remark about them just dropping by for a tea party, but he managed to restrain himself. Especially since the sound of the tornado was growing louder.
"Take cover!" Castiel said, backing away from the open hangar door, but it was too late for the older pilot- as they moved to take cover he was sucked out of the building like a giant vacuum hose was sitting outside the door. The rest of them managed to take cover in time, hunkering down behind tables as the tornado seemed to pull away and miss hitting the building directly.
Dean stood up to find sharks thrashing on the ground outside, one flopping its way toward the hangar door. He couldn't even begin to count how many sharks he'd seen today- thousands? Millions? It didn't seem like there would even be that many sharks in the entire Pacific Ocean.
"We have to do something," Matt said, and Dean just stared at him for a moment.
"…What do you propose we do against tornados full of sharks?"
Matt didn't seem to realize that Dean didn't actually intend that as a serious question. Dean's idea of dealing with this was to get in the Humvee and hightail it out of town, but evidently that wasn't on the agenda for these crazy people.
"Aren't they supposed to be taking shelter?" Castiel asked, and Dean followed his gaze to the nursing home across the street. In the glass breezeway of the building, it seemed like every old person had parked their wheelchair or walker to watch the tornadoes, like it was the fucking Sunday matinee at the theater.
Even a full 80 years of life didn't seem to have any noticeable beneficial effect on the intellect of these people. It was hopeless.
"We have to stop those tornadoes before they come back here. All those people will die," Fin pointed out, and Dean wanted to scream.
"Okay, first of all, tornadoes don't get 'stopped'. And two, I would say that those people are shining examples of Darwinism if they weren't all past the expiration date on breeding," Dean snapped, but they didn't seem worried about his concerns. Instead, Matt was gathering up something from under the counter, and when Dean saw what it was, he just stared in disbelief.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Why do you have dynamite at a flight school?"
Matt frowned. "Why wouldn't we?"
"Oh, sorry. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Totally normal. I keep dynamite under the sink in my bathroom," Dean said, and Sam grabbed him by the shoulders and made him look him in the eye.
"Breathe, Dean. Breathe," he said, and Dean nodded, taking in a deep breath and letting it out. Sam squeezed his shoulders. "Remember, this place runs on different logic. Flying sharks and all."
"He's correct. The normal rules of physics are skewed here," Castiel agreed, watching as Matt strapped some dynamite together and tied it to a timer.
"If we can disrupt the air flow and equalize the pressure in the tornadoes, we can probably make them dissipate. We can take bombs up in the helicopter and throw them in right at the top," he said, and even Sam boggled at that.
"It's not safe to fly in this," he said. Matt blinked and looked confused.
"As long as we stay out of the tornadoes, we should be okay. I'm top of my class."
"Of course you are," Dean muttered as Fin and Nova moved in to help Matt build more of the bombs. Dean wasn't having any part of that. He drew the line at 'building bombs to throw into a tornado full of fucking sharks'.
"Someone will need to go up with me in the helicopter to throw the bombs," Matt pointed out, and Nova shrugged.
"I'll go."
"Hell no," Dean snapped, because he could just see how that would end up. He wasn't letting her stroll into a helicopter to go fly around some tornadoes. She was one of the sanest people here, though that wasn't saying much.
"Well, unless you're going…" Nova said, raising an eyebrow, and Dean swallowed hard and shrugged.
"Fine. I'll go," he said, earning a horrified "What?" from both Sam and Castiel.
"Dean, you can't," Sam said, and Dean laughed.
"Different physics, remember? We'll probably be safer than you guys stuck on the ground," he bluffed, the roar of a tornado getting louder. There wasn't any more time to argue- that tornado was close, and this time it might not be a glancing blow.
"Alright, they're ready. We've got four," Fin announced, and Matt handed one to Sam.
"Here, keep one on the ground, just in case. We'll take the other three up. Ready?" he said to Dean, and Dean nodded, already second-guessing his split second decision to get in that chopper instead of Nova. No going back now, though.
He started to follow Matt, but a hand closed around his wrist with an iron grip, and he turned to find Castiel holding him back. The angel's blue eyes locked on his, equal amounts of anger and fear showing.
"You are not allowed to die doing something this stupid," he said, his voice low, and Dean chuckled.
"I don't plan on it. Don't worry, I got this. I've always wanted to bomb a tornado full of sharks," he joked, and Castiel just looked confused as Dean turned and jogged after Matt. Matt climbed in and put the bombs down by where Dean would be sitting, and Dean got in after, looking back in time to see weapons getting passed out between the rest of them. Sam was checking to make sure his gun was loaded, and Nova was showing Castiel how to turn on a chainsaw.
A fucking chainsaw. Angel of the lord, and patron saint of chainsaw combat.
The helicopter blades were slicing through the air so fast he couldn't even see them when the helicopter lifted off the ground, and Dean fought down a wave of panic as the ground retreated faster and faster. Instead, he grabbed one of the bombs and got ready to set the timer, because once they were airborne, they were only moments away from the first tornado.
"Are you ready?" Matt said, and Dean nodded. Matt turned the chopper toward the tornado, the wind thrashing at them and making Dean's eyes sting.
He set the timer for five seconds, then gave it the best throw he could manage.
The bomb flew into the wall of debris and dirt filled wind, and Dean counted down to the inevitable blast, which was big enough that he felt the wave of heat even from where the helicopter hovered. After a few seconds, the tornado began to break up, sharks falling from the sky like hailstones with teeth.
It worked. It actually fucking worked.
Matt cheered and turned the helicopter toward the next tornado, farther into the city. They followed the same steps, and once again, moments after the blast the tornado started to break apart. Dean knew that this shouldn't be working, it was the stupidest thing he'd probably ever done in his life, but it was working.
Matt circled to find the third tornado, and kicked the speed up a notch when they saw that it was headed right for the hangar.
Dean grabbed the third bomb and started getting it ready, and scooted toward the open helicopter door when they got closer to the tornado- but the whole helicopter suddenly yanked to the right. A shark was clinging to the skid, sending the helicopter into a spin, and Dean couldn't hold on. His hands slipped on the metal of the helicopter as he fell into open air, and the last thing he remembered seeing was the gaping maw of a massive shark.
On the ground, Castiel tried to spread his invisible wings the moment he saw the helicopter start to go down and Dean fall out- but his wings hit that barrier, the muscles cramped and feathers twisted from being bound. He didn't look away from that shark, though, even as Sam grabbed the extra bomb and ran for the Humvee.
Sam jumped into the Humvee and left the driver's door open as he jammed the pedal down, glancing between the base of the tornado and the timer on the bomb as he drove. When the winds started to get too violent, he took a deep breath, set the timer, dropped the bomb on the passenger's seat- then leapt from the open door and hit the ground rolling, pain firing through his shoulder as he hit.
Moments later he heard the bomb go off, and he finally lifted his head to see the tornado break up, flinging the sharks in all directions. One fell right toward him, and he rolled to the side just in time to avoid getting squashed by a hammerhead shark, its dead, black eyes staring at him as it twitched and snapped. He got to his feet and began running back to the hangar, because he had to get to Castiel, they had to do something- Dean wasn't gone. He couldn't be gone.
Castiel still had his eyes locked on the shark that had swallowed Dean whole, and as it fell, he moved to intercept and did the first thing he could think of to do. As it thrashed toward the ground he fired up the chainsaw and swung it, tearing a gash up the shark's chest and belly right before it smashed into the ground. Throwing the chainsaw aside, Castiel dropped to his knees and shoved his hands into the shark's belly, feeling around until his hands closed on something that was decidedly not viscera.
He dragged Dean out of the shark, and the hunter was already coughing and sputtering, spitting shark innards onto the ground as Sam reached them. Sam had to take a moment to cover his mouth and gather himself, because he'd seen some gross things, but this was a whole new level of gross. Dean was covered in blood and shark bits from head to toe.
"It ate me," Dean choked out, his voice rough. "That thing fuckin' ate me, it…did you seriously chainsaw a shark open?"
Castiel shrugged. "It seemed like the best course of action at the time."
"You could have chainsawed me!"
"Please, I have better aim than that."
Castiel reached down and took Dean's hands to help him up, but the moment he pulled Dean to his feet, the world around them froze. Everything just stopped- the people, the flailing sharks, even the wind died down to nearly nothing. Dean tried to wipe the rest of the shark blood and guts from his face (which seemed to be a futile effort) as he stared at a frozen Fin hugging Chloe.
Someone started a slow clap.
They turned around to find Gabriel standing among the chaos, a smirk on his face as he walked toward them and surveyed the damage as he went. Dean was sure his jaw was on the ground, because Gabriel couldn't be here, Gabriel was dead; he'd seen the charcoal smear of wings on the ground himself.
"Good job. Glad to see you learned to play along," the archangel said, and Dean could tell that Castiel was barely restraining himself from going after Gabriel, powers or no powers.
"You're dead," Dean said, not a threat, just an astute observation because Gabriel had been totally, completely dead. For sure.
"Correction. Was dead. Living impaired, if you want to be PC about it. But that doesn't matter."
"How in heaven's name does that not matter?" Castiel asked, the words coming out nearly a growl. Gabriel smiled and kicked aside a chunk of dead shark.
"Because this isn't about me, it's about Dean!" he said, and Dean felt his stomach twist, because the last time this douche decided to have an extended visit, Sam got the Groundhog Day treatment. Dean saw Castiel's fists clench, and he got ready to hold him back if need be, because attacking an archangel on their turf wouldn't end well.
"We've had enough of your games, Gabriel," Sam said, and Gabriel rolled his eyes.
"Believe me, Sam, I'm doing you a favor in particular. And this time you're just along for the ride. Moral support, so to speak. It's Dean's game this time," Gabriel said, and Dean saw that familiar look in his eyes, the one he got when he was so proud of his little games he set up. "Dean, Dean, Dean. You're the one in control here. You can break this loop in half a second."
Dean laughed. "And I'll bet you're not gonna tell me how, are you?"
"How much fun would it be if I gave it all away? Besides, I have so much more planned for you. Enough strange monsters and crazy weather to keep you looped up here for years, if that's how long it takes."
Castiel actually did start forward at that, and Dean grabbed onto his arm, stopping him before he did something really stupid- as much as he hated to admit it, right now they were at Gabriel's mercy. Gabriel watched, giving Dean a long look before looking back at Castiel.
"Sorry, bro. Had to bring you along or this just wouldn't work. Besides, you like spending quality time with the Winchesters, don't you?"
Castiel's fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles were paper-white. "This is childish, Gabriel. Send us back," he said, and Gabriel chuckled.
"You'll all be thanking me once this is over. Now, I'd love to stick around and chat, but while you're in here I'm going to do some house cleaning. The roaches invaded while I was gone," he said, caramel colored eyes focusing on Dean once again. "It's all on you, Dean. Dig deep. I'm tellin' you, if you catch on quick, you'll all be out of here in, oh…three movies? Four? But there are plenty more in my personally created Netflix queue, and I can't guarantee that getting eaten or dismembered here won't, you know, carry over, so I'd suggest you pay attention."
Castiel pulled against Dean's grip, still trying to go after Gabriel when the archangel snapped his fingers. All at once the world seemed to spin around them, a blurred mess turning to black.