Disclaimer: Hi there, my name is JK Rowling and I'm the owner of the Harry Potter books. Apparently, I have no idea why I'm writing fanfiction, seeing as it is my book series in the first place, so I must be impersonating the real Rowling, and this is just a fangirl writing this for the pure enjoyment for herself and others. So there.
Summary: Remus mourns the death of James and Lily Potter, while the Wizarding World celebrates it. Character Death. Angst. (Slightly AU I think.)
Author's Note: I was bored, and I am in a total Remus-craze right now, and this came up. Trust me, this was written on a whim (especially when that plot bunny threatened to knock my head with carrots if I don't write this). Personally, I prefer my other Remus-centric fanfiction, Enigma, so do check it out when you have the chance to.
Warnings: This may be OOC to some. Character Death. Slight fluff in the end, I guess..? JPLE pairing, by the way. This is angst, sadness, grief, and whatever synonyms you can find in a thesaurus. I hate the ending because I did not know how to end it, so beware of sucky!ending.
Might be AU because I'm lazy to check if I had any timeline errors or some parts that did not go according to the book.
~HP~
Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them.
~ George Eliot
The stars twinkled dimly against the dark sky, adopting a funereal atmosphere. The moon had waned into a thin strip of white, barely seen from where Remus was standing. He was alone in the abandoned ruins of Godric Hollow; he had watched Hagrid leave with baby Harry, who has yet to realise what happened to his parents, who had died trying to save him. Just the thought of losing his friends in one single night, one single night which he was not present on, made him boil with anger and grief. He wanted to shout, to yell, to unleash his wrath of anger over the loss of two of his loved ones- but he could not. He was just too tired, having gone through his transformation recently. He would save his anger for another time, when his deceased friends' bodies were not lying right there in front of him, with glass eyes staring lifelessly at him, bearing so much emotions yet none at the same time.
The house had been destroyed, presumably by richoceted spells. It was now just a field of rocks and boulders, wood and furniture. Frames hung desperately onto the nail holding it up, and couches and armchairs squashed under the weight of the rubble. Remus moved his way through the rubble to get to James and Lily, who were lying not far from each other on the living room floor. Once he got there, he gasped, and trembled slightly. The sight of his two friends lying lifeless on the ground is just too much for him to take. He looked over them with barely-concealed anguish mirrored in his amber eyes that were full of unshed tears. Remus had been distraught when he had heard the news of their deaths, and in less than a minute, he had been there, wanting to see them one last time before they were buried six feet under.
He sank to the floor beside James, who had a look of pure shock and agony etched on his face. His glasses hung askew on the bridge of his nose, the black wired frames cracked and the lens destroyed. His face was contorted with pain, and Remus imagined the emotions James must have felt when his life was taken away in just a flick of a wand. His black hair was ruffled as usual, though instead of having an after-Quidditch look, it made him seem as if he had just been in a painstakingly hard duel. His body was lying straight on the ground, despite the fact that he had probably been thrown back when the curse had collided with his chest. It lay still, with an silent air around it that speaks volumes of sacrifice. That it was not meant to be, rather it had to be.
Remus let loose of the tears that had been threatening to spill forth. The hot, salty tears slid down his cheeks, dripping down slowly one by one, onto James' open palm. He glanced forlornly at the lifeless figure, hoping that this was all a mere dream, and that James was really at home with Lily, alive and well, with a bouncing baby Harry in his arms.
But not all dreams were meant to come true, and reality will always grab the chance to crash into our sugarcoated lives at the most inopportune of moments.
Remus did not know how long he had mourned for Prongs, but by the looks of the sky, it was already dusk. The drop of white crescent in the sky was gone, and the twinkling stars were fading away. The sky had taken on a lighter shade of blue; yet despite this transition of time, the mournful atmosphere was still there. The Muggles had not come to bury the bodies; they must have opted to wait for the sun to rise. He briefly calculated that he had not much time left until they came, and with that, he shifted over to the left side of James, where the motionless figure of Lily lay.
Lily. She was still the epitome of natural beauty; a lithe porcelain doll with a fiery temper. She looked as if she was merely in an eternal sleep and had not just been screaming pleas of mercy hours before. Yet her almond-shaped eyes betrayed the placidity she portrayed. The last of emotions contained in those emeralds were still shining in a timeless trance - pain, fear, and a whole lot of sacrificed love. Remus' heart swelled in sympathy as he contemplated the huge amount of love she had felt for Harry, that had made her unleash ancient magic and thus protect her son. His eyes softened as he recalled the ever-forgiving Lily - the Lily who loved everyone, even those who were not worthy of her love. The Lily who was there for him when no one else was.
When Remus had heard the news, it felt like two huge pieces of his soul were brutally ripped apart from him, leaving him to crumble into the dust. He had tried to regain himself by hoping that it was all a joke, but when he finally saw the actual bodies laying haphazardly across the tarnished carpeting, he felt his heart stop and his world shatter apart.
James and Lily - two of the most loyal friends you could ever ask for. They were always there for him when he needed them; always ready to lend a hand. James was ultimately loyal, a trait he is probably most renowned for. It was him who came up with the original idea of becoming Animagi to accompany Remus on those painful, desolate full moon nights. It was Lily who had always been there when he had become the subject of teasing, or when he just needed someone to talk to, to shed some light onto his dark life.
When he had met James, he instantly knew he was a trustworthy friend. There was something about him that makes you feel completely safe, knowing that he is full well behind you all the way. To earn his friendship and trust was like uncovering the world's rarest gems and jewels, yet even that could not compare to the warmth that James' friendship brings. He would gladly jeopardise his life to help him, for which Remus was eternally grateful for. No ordinary friend would want to risk his life to become an Animagus, something dangerous and may result in painful consequences, just to support someone.
Then James had to leave Remus when he needed him the most.
It had hurt so much until no words could even begin to describe. James had left him, and that was the bitter truth. So maybe it was not intentional, and maybe it was to save other people; but he had still left Remus alone all the same. Sirius was gone, Peter was dead, and Remus was the only Marauder left, wandering throughout the Wizarding World aimlessly in a vain search of a miracle.
Then there was Lily, the only other person who truly understood him and loved him no matter what. Beneath that beautiful face and red hair was an amiable girl whose genial smiles could brighten your day in a second. She had always been there to advise him, support him, comfort him.. She would always go out of her way to help Remus, the lonely werewolf. She made him feel loved, feel accepted for once, and when she and James comforted him at the same time, they made him feel like a normal person again, unblemished by the presence of the Dark creature writhing within him.
With them by his side, the vicissitudes of being a teenage werewolf slowly diminishes into little fragments of the past, away from him and his life. But now that they are gone, the werewolf comes prowling back, its gold eyes voracious with hunger and bloodthirstiness, wanting to reap out of the human body and gain complete control. With the vacuous spot in his heart that used to be James and Lily, he felt unwanted again, shunned by the Wizarding society because of what he was.
When they died, Remus broke. He mourned for them, wished that they never left, and would even go so far as to exchange someone's life for theirs.
When they died, the Wizarding World cheered. They partied, they whooped because they had left, and they celebrated this glorious day.
They clinked their champagne flutes, in remembrance to what they assumed to be the quintessence of a heroic act. They popped open bottles of firewhiskey, cried victory screeches, and got drunk over the new hope that had emerged for them. Every wizard or witch celebrated the levity of this occasion, wasting themselves away in a sea of false victory.
In short, they celebrated the two deaths of Lily and James Potter, Remus Lupin's dearest friends.
They did not mourn, they did not show respect. They did not bow their heads in a minute of silence to the huge sacrifice his friends had made for them; instead they rejoiced, cheered and partied. How could they, Remus would never understand. To celebrate one's death is betrayal in its own special way - how can that possibly be called gratefulness?
While the air of festivity replaced one of lugubriousness, Remus Lupin mourned for his two friends at the ruins of Godric's Hollow. Pushing aside rocks and rubble, he finally found Lily's willow wand, found under what used to be an ornate oak dresser. He picked it up gingerly and clasped his slender fingers around it, intent on keeping this memory of the redhead. With the discovery of Lily's wand, he set out with newfound determination to find James' wand. Looking around James' corpse, he noted with frustration that it was not there. He searched under random bits and pieces of broken wood and furniture, but it was to no avail. He almost cried in vexation that he could not find James' wand, when he noticed something lying about three feet away from him, presumably in what used to be the drawing room.
He tentatively took a step closer, as if daring it to attack. One foot in front of another, and soon he found himself staring at James Potter's mahogany wand, lying far away from where its owner lay. Does this mean that..? No, it could not be possible.. and yet it was. James, fellow Marauder and one of the top Aurors, had tried to fight off Voldemort without his wand.
It was disbelieving, yet the cold hard truth all the same.
He picked the mahogany wand up, looking at it wistfully as it brought back memories of his life at Hogwarts. This wand had been the creator of all those hilarious pranks, tickling charms and sometimes hexes. This wand had been the cause of most of the good memories he had spent with the Marauders. Blinking back a few tears, he put the wand together with Lily's, and kept it in his robe pocket. He gave a long sigh before heading towards the body of Prongs, intent on saying the last goodbye.
He knelt beside James and gazed at his cold, lifeless eyes. It brimmed of pain yet it was vacant at the same time. Remus was entranced by the way the hazel in his eyes danced and swirled around before slowing to a stop, then started its movement again. It was mesmerising, to see the once lively eyes of his friend staring back at him, as if silently pleading him to lay him to rest in peace. Giving a sigh of defeat - no one could resist those eyes - he thought long and hard on what James would consider to be the way he wanted to lay peacefully.
Lily came to mind, and Remus sought out the aforementioned girl in the heap of rubble. His heightened senses eventually scouted her out, and he climbed his way through the rocks and wood to get to her. Gently so, he carried the body of his companion and laid her next to James, before moving said man's arms around her so that she was encompassed by the arms of her beloved.
This was what James would want. To rest in peace alongside the love of his life, enveloping her in a last hug before moving off to the empyrean.
And as the rest of the world celebrated this great loss in his life, and as he caught a last glimpse of the couple before Apparating away,
Harry James Potter blinked open his eyes, emerald orbs so eerily like his mother's, to the new juncture in life.
And as the world celebrated death, and as Remus John Lupin struggled to move on,
the coruscating stars twinkled and blinked amongst the great sky the colour of dawn, adopting a hopeful atmosphere.
~HP~
Author's note: I HATE THE ENDING. It sucked; I didn't know how to end this piece properly. I'm an epic fail. /sigh
So how was it? Review and tell me what you think, if you please! And do check out my other fic, Enigma! Starring.. Remus! Hee hee.
Yes I might have more fanfiction coming up. There's been a horde of rabid plot bunnies on the loose, and they're all targeting me. I've been caught by four!
Review and you'll win a batch of homemade cookies!