The Truth.

Curled up on the sofa her eyes were focussed on the glass of wine on the table as she twirled her hair in her fingers. Sighing she couldn't bring herself to meet the eye of her husband as he entered the living room with his glass of whiskey. How could she possibly explain all this mess without hurting him more than she already had done? Letting her hand drop she switches from playing with her hair to playing with her jeans as Charlie took a seat in his armchair to her left. She could see the hurt in his body language before he even spoke.

"Are we going to talk then?" His voice wasn't angry as it should be, it was calm and almost understanding making her feel worse than she already did. She knew him better though, she knew he was angry she could see behind the calm exterior he put on. Not to mention his actions not long ago.

"I"m sorry…" Shutting his eyes he shakes his head as she fights to stop her tears. "I didn't mean it to get this far." Taking in a deep breath he reminds himself to keep his voice calm, yelling wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"So Bill…" The words escaped him. How did he put this into words? "If you wanted to leave why didn't you? Why did you do this instead? Why…" Before he could go any further she swung round in her chair, shocked and confused. She thought he knew…

"What?! You don't think I'm…" She didn't need to say any more, she seen it in his face. "Charlie I'm not sleeping with Bill! When you said you knew I thought you did!" Her mind instantly goes into overdrive, thinking about the past few hours. "So thats why you hit him?!" Instantly relief washed over him, she wasn't having an affair. But what was going on? He was confused himself now, what was she hiding?

"Yes of course that's why! So you're not having an affair?" Her mind replayed the scene of Charlie barging into the cafe she was meeting Bill at, punching him square in the face before admitting he knew the truth and demanded to know why she didn't tell him.

"No! God no! Where on earth did you get that idea from?!" He knew he was raising his voice, he just couldn't stop it.

"What else was I to think? The secret calls, flowers to work, texts and meetings. What on earth is going on Duffy?" She began to struggle herself, she wanted to explain, reassure him but it wasn't going to come out that way was it?

"Bill has been trying to help me." Taking a gulp she tries to explain herself better, not yet able to say the words. "I've been try to help him too. His daughter, Rachael, is an alcoholic. I helped him get her the right help and he's been trying to convince me to do the same." Realising how the sounded she stops him before he can say a word. "I"m not an alcoholic. That sounded wrong." His relief hadn't lasted long, he'd not seen Duffy look so unsure of herself in a long time.

"Help you how? What are you hiding from me?" His mind quickly tried to piece together what he knew, she hadn't been herself lately. At first he assumed she was just tired, work was hectic, hence why he booked a trip away for both of them but of course the inspection had to fall on that weekend. She'd gone alone, frustrated by the fact work got in the way of their lives all the time. After that things seemed to spiral, she was short with him, avoiding taking to him and just seemed to change overnight. He'd just assumed she was upset with him and knew better than to pressure her into discussing it. She'd come to him when she was ready but she hadn't. Then he began to hear the rumours about her and Bill, at first he brushed them off as nonsense. But the more he thought about it and watched her the more he started to believe her.

"I..well…I've been diagnosed with clinical depression…" His face broke like she knew it would. She didn't want his pity. "And anxiety disorder…" Trying to keep her emotions in check she took a shaky breath. "I wanted to tell you, I really did but work kept getting the way." It was no use, she finally gave into her tears. "The more I thought about the less I thought I should tell you. You have enough going on without me falling apart too." Full on sobbing now as she desperately tries to explain herself. "I screwed everything up. I'm so sorry." Practically jumping out his chair he rushes to the sofa and takes her into his arms, trying to keep his own emotions in check. Depression? Why didn't he spot this?! She was his wife and she was suffering yet he missed it! Worse still he missed and assumed she was having an affair. He always prided himself on being able to understand her better than anyone else could. It wasn't true though was it?

"Oh Duffy!" Letting her sob onto his shirt he shuts his own eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for!" Rubbing her back he didn't want to let her go.

It was a while later before they were both calm enough to talk any further. In any serious form anyway. She'd managed to tell him how long she'd been hiding her illness from him but that was about it. All he kept getting out of her was how sorry she was she hid it. One thing he knew about her was how terrible she was at lying unless she felt she had to protect someone from the truth, in that case she could force herself to do it. But why did she feel the need to protect him for this? Still in his arms he pulls back slightly.

"You know you're worth so much more to me than my job don't you?" If she thought rationally she would have realised that a lot sooner but right now her judgement was so clouded.

"I know but you had enough going on. Firstly with Connie and the inspection then Dylan. It just seemed one thing after enough, I thought I could cope but I couldn't." Rubbing her eyes she sighs. "I didn't intend to tell Bill. He found me having a panic attack and after that has kept an eye on me." It just kept getting worse didn't it?

"Panic attacks?! Why haven't I realised this?" She desperately wanted to reassure him but it wasn't going to be easy was it?

"I haven't had many. Just some. I've got good at hiding it I guess. Bill was just being a friend, I didn't realise how bad it looked." Shaking his head he sighed.

"You shouldn't have felt you had to though! I guess I owe him a big apology."

"Yes you do! Now you know why I was so mad at you!" Taking his hands into hers she catches his eye. "You hid your depression from me didn't you? It's not easy to talk about."

"Yes but we weren't married then Duffy." Squeezing her hands he couldn't believe how badly he messed everything up. He promised he'd never hurt her and he'd treat her better than Andrew or Ryan did but he hadn't had he?

"As good as. We certainly acted like a married couple."

"Andrew might have had something to say about that." Laughing slightly she rests her head against his chest.

"Probably. I"m sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Looking up at him from his chest she relaxes in the hold her had of her. Maybe tonight she might actually be able to sleep. There was still so much they needed to talk about, so much he didn't know but she was tired. She just wanted to close to him and for it all to be okay. They could talk tomorrow.

"Love you."

"Love you too."