Marco dodged the attack of his sparring opponent, taking advantage of the Mewman soldier's ignorance of Earth Martial Arts. With the man off balance, Marco advanced with a vicious thrust of his sword pommel into the Mewman's gut, bringing him to his knees. The boy from Earth had to make an effort to push back feelings of smug superiority as the match progressed like so many others before it. Considering how much he had exposed his fighting techniques to his training partners he'd thought at least some of them would have caught on by now, maybe come up with an adaptive counter or two, but no. Regardless, Marco never let up, never gave them a break. Though he would never admit it, this might have had something to do with the mockery he had received from the Mewman knight's upon his return to Mewni and the hazing he had suffered from the squires at Quest Buy. Both incidents were such small and distant things considering all he had gone through since then, but the sting of those humiliations where still there, festering in a place deep down within him.
The old him might have given some helpful pointers or made the match into a mutual learning experience, but Marco couldn't afford to mess around with frivolous things like that anymore, not after the incident with Meteora. He'd failed Star—she'd saved the day like always, saved him—but when it counted, he wasn't able to be there for her. As his opponent curled into himself, retching, an all too familiar memory invaded his mind, a piece of information Tom had relayed to him that had replayed in his head on a nearly daily basis, the fact that as soon as Star saw Marco's lifeless, floating body during Meteora's rampage, everything else was pushed to the wayside; Meteora was literally besieging the Kingdom, Star's mother lost, her father engaged in a desperate fight with the monster princess, but in that moment all that mattered to her was getting Marco back—or keeping him safe. Yes, Star had ultimately gone back to fight Meteora, but the idea that a loser like him would be that much of a liability to her, even for a second, unnerved him. He'd cost Star her wand twice now as far as he was concerned. If only he'd been strong enough to fight off Toffee's goons the first time, strong enough to help star fight Meteora the second, maybe she wouldn't have given up her wand. He never wanted her to be in that position ever again.
Star watched Marco's training match in increasing apprehension as the boy raised his weapon for another attack despite his opponent's disabled state.
"Marco, I think he's down, the fight's over, chill." At this Marco paused and lowered his sword, turning to face Star, he almost looked angry with her.
Star wasn't oblivious to the enthusiastic but increasingly aggressive approach Marco had taken to improving his fighting capabilities. Initially she was supportive, of course, but something was off, the softer edges of her Safe Kid had given way to something more ruthless and volatile. This realization hadn't been fully cemented for her until the day Marco had volunteered to go on a hunting expedition with her father. This of course was very odd as Star knew that Marco found her father lovably awkward at best and overwhelmingly intense at worst. Upon their return Star had expected to greet a triumphant but rattled Marco, but it was her father who flashed her a shaken look before smothering it beneath his usual bubbly bluster while Marco remained focused on the bloody skull clutched in his hands—a hunting trophy. The brief but piercing stare he had given her before unfurling a sly smirk was one she didn't recognize ever seeing from Marco.
Star followed Marco back to his room in silence once the training session was over. Few words were spoken between them unless they were said behind closed doors these days. Star didn't feel the usual openness to just share between them in these recent weeks, an intolerable development she was well tired of, so she decided to press for conversation.
"Marco, are you feeling alright?" Star said as she closed the door behind them. Marco at first kept his back to her in such a way to suggest to Star that she was unwelcome before he turned to answer her.
"I'm fine Star," he said, his eyes to the ground before looking at her, "I'd be better if you wouldn't butt in during my training matches."
Star's temper rose, "I had to, that soldier was helpless and you were about to clobber him without hesitation!" A mountain of pent up worry and frustration poured out of the girl as she continued, "I'm scared Marco. You've changed. You knew he was done, but you were ready to beat him into the ground. Please talk to me, tell me what's wrong."
"Star, I'm sorry," Marco moved towards her to reassure her, but she shied away for a split second before taking his hand, "I-I just got carried away alright? I'm tired, can we talk in the morning?" The hurt from her recoil caused his voice to quiver.
Star knew her bestie well enough to know by the tone of his voice that she probably shouldn't push him any further at the moment. Her resolve softened at the pained expression on his face and she wrapped Marco up into a tight bear hug.
"We've been through so much together. Don't think I can't tell tell when you're going through something. If you can't talk about it now, that's ok, but I can only take so much. You better let me help you soon, Marco Diaz." Star released her vice-like grip on the boy and reluctantly left the room.
Later that night Marco lay in bed, far too caught up in thought and self reflection to drift off to sleep as he often did in recent weeks. He thought of how much of a burden and source of worry he'd been to everyone. Not just Star, but his friends and family. He had given up life on Earth, effectively abandoned everything he knew to follow Star to Mewni. He'd driven off his childhood friends, crushed the heart of the girl he'd been infatuated with forever, and neglected his own family to the point of being unaware of his mother's pregnancy until the day of the baby shower, and for what? To fail at a critical moment? If he couldn't even be a reliable asset to Star, what was he even doing with himself? Why was he here? He'd come to realize that he loved her, left behind everything for her, but feelings, no matter how strong, doesn't beat blades or claws or magic or teeth, strength does—fear does. Among the unpleasant cacophony of thoughts a new notion stuck him, twisted though it was, he couldn't help but let out a dry laugh as Marco recalled how Toffee had once called him a disappointment, the boy swallowed hard as a part of him thought perhaps the slimy lizard lawyer was right.