Disclaimer: Never I own Card Captor Sakura.
Summary: ET are involved in one relationship, so that they'll be able to forget their past flings. One claims that there will never be anything mutual between them, but love has its own way to convey a thing…
A/n: This story is in Eriol's POV
Sinister Romantic
Daidouji-san.
Tomoyo Daidouji-san.
Back then in our 5th grade, when we first met (I was on with the mission to help Sakura-chan transformed Clow Cards –remember? Oh of course you would remember. You must have some database in your brain about anything that involved the dear Cherry Blossom. And yes, I suppose that includes me), there hadn't been any idea crossing my mind that someday this name –your name – would hold a decisive role in this whole life opera I have created.
Okay, so I use you, Daidouji-san.
I make benefits from you.
Binding you in this sort of relationship where we both knew the true reasons of why it ever existed at first.
But I'm not the only one who takes benefit from our awkward relationship.
Yes, Daidouji-san.
You also use me.
Remembering the biology lecture in our school time back then, our teacher would call it a mutualism symbiosis.
…
Yeah, I think I will also call it a mutualism symbiosis.
Symbiosis, Daidouji-san.
But no, it's not love.
- -
However Daidouji-san…
Having the duty to keep your status not single anymore (and my own status, too, obviously) for the past 2 years has helped me –us, I'm sure – to understand that really… letting love and time synchronizes isn't as easy as it first sounded when the idea crossed our mind. I think we've tried hard enough to both accept and change it. But love can't grow, Daidouji-san. Well, at least it won't –as long as we both still can't let go the visions of our past flings.
Which in this case, we still do.
You want to forget your love to your precious Sakura-chan. And that's why you're trying to divert your attention to someone like me. And if I may add, Daidouji-san… in any logical circumstances, that's really the greatest praise I've ever gotten from you. You see, any men would be honored if you chose them to be your boyfriend –even when it's really only to forget your (as people often misjudge it) 'bisexual-love'.
You're the best thing a man could ever have, Daidouji-san.
And even that I think I'm really that insane not to feel that blessed feeling, I still feel honored.
Honored, Daidouji-san.
But not loved.
- -
Dai-dou-ji-san.
Now, as time passes, I believe that even if our plan to hook up together won't work out, we will be good friend even until we both wrinkle in the grave.
You make me laugh with your odd sense of humor (equally as odd as mine, actually), you entertain only by telling me your peculiar obsession and dream, you comfort me with your wise saying, you bring me giddiness, a new spirit to start the day, only by hearing your laughs.
Those are rather impressing, Daidouji-san.
I had had the thought of you just as an ordinary girl with nothing to attract my attention, but really, I was very wrong.
Had I known it sooner, and then I would rather spend my time with you rather than putting myself in the state of depression after Kaho said good-bye to me.
Yes, Daidouji-san.
You're a dear, good friend.
But is it love?
…
No.
I guess it's not.
-
But as we go through this, Daidouji-san…
Well…I think that forcing ourselves to love each other is just as hard as trying to forget our ex-es.
Or maybe twice harder.
Or thrice.
Or much, much harder, I don't know.
Now, Kaho, if you heard this (there could be the possibility that I would talk what's on my mind out loud), please don't get me wrong.
It's so hard to try to forget you.
Of course. Even if I can, I will rather not.
But back again…
Daidouji-san, I don't know what's wrong with me, what's wrong with you (though I don't think that there could possibly be anything wrong with you), what's wrong with us, but why oh why, can't we just fall for each other!
It's cracking my nerves, and I'm getting pissed, and almost disappointed.
…
Yes, Daidouji-san.
I suppose I already feel disappointed.
To think about this as love?
I think we're just pulling ourselves even farther from it.
-
But then…
I saw you with him, Daidouji-san…
You two were sitting too close, and Daidouji-san… My dear, smart, Daidouji-san… how could you create such situation where he would think that it was right to touch you like that! And you didn't even slap him when he kissed your hand!
You didn't do it on purpose, ne, Daidouji-san? You're too far from stupid to do that.
…
And you're not seriously attracted to him, aren't you, Daidouji-san?
…
Now, now, Daidouji-san, don't accuse me of being jealous –for I'm not.
It's just that… I can't believe you're so…easy to fall for him.
Okay, so he has those bright blue eyes, but mine are too. Yes, his locker is full of love-letters, but mine is just as full as his. And yes, he is the sport star, but if I want, I could be one too –the reason I don't is that I've preferred to be the top class student instead… and hah! That's one thing he doesn't have! I heard he didn't do very well in the latest exams, and Daidouji-san…you're truly too intelligent for him.
And so… what I'm trying to say, Daidouji-san… is that I'm much a better deal for you.
Why you choose to go out with him…when you have me?
I don't understand, Daidouji-san.
…
And Daidouji-san?
Let me clarify this, okay?
I'm not jealous.
Honestly.
And this is definitely not love.
- -
My dear Daidouji-san…
You know what? All my life, even in my Clow Reed's life, one thing that I'm sure of is that, stupidity is one thing that will never touch me.
But in the name of all the Clow Cards, I've never realized until now, that I'm so that idiot.
I'm such an idiot, Daidouji-san.
I don't know how, but perhaps it starts because of you.
It begins when I just realize that I don't want to lose you, and I hate to see other man touch you in a way less than preferable or to hurt you in any ways.
And then when I realize that in my dreams and waking hours, your face is what I ache to see so much, your voice is the only thing I crave to hear, and your presence is what I ever need to feel complete.
And also when I realize that I've never felt so happy just to sense that you… have accepted me too.
But maybe to sum it all, it is because I've never, never I feel for someone like the way I feel for you.
How fool I have been, Daidouji-san.
It's been buried long, and just now I've realized.
How idiot of me…
I almost got stressed out. No wonder why I thought I could never love you.
Because, I never realize until this point that I'm trying to love someone I've already loved.
Silly isn't it?
Yes, Daidouji-san.
I love you.
This time, it's love.
Definitely love.
-The End-
A/n: Just how weird? I don't know, I suddenly just want to write this kind of story pattern. Anyway, it feels good to write another ET fic. Lately, I've busied myself reading Sasuke/Sakura (from Naruto) fanfics. But I'm back for ET! Yay! My next chaptered fics is still on the way. I think I need to write all chapters' first draft before I can edit them and submit the story to