A/N: I meant to have footnotes in this story but it doesn't seem to work when I upload it so I've put the footnote numbers in brackets. Sorry for the inconvenience!
Dastardly Brilliant Plans
By: tsuki-san16
Soul was one sneaky bastard.
In retrospect, this was not how he pictured their first kiss.
Soul never considered himself a romantic sort of guy. He was too cool for that. Besides, sappy love letters, roses and teddy bears didn't seem to be the sort of thing Kid would appreciate. And all the subtle (and not so subtle) hints he'd been giving the young shinigami seemed to go unnoticed.
He preferred to think of them as unnoticed instead of ignored.
So what was he supposed to do when all the obvious tactics weren't working? Some people might call him lazy but he could be determined when he wanted to be. And when he was determined he came up with dastardly plans. Brilliant plans. Dastardly brilliant plans.
Maka told him it was a stupidly bad plan and that she would in no way help him with this brilliant and dastardly plan(1).Liz and Patty laughed in his face. Tsubaki politely suggested coming up with another idea. Black Star was his only true friend. Loyal to the end was Black Star. Soul knew he could count on him to help him out with this dastardly brilliant plan.
Perhaps the fact that Black Star was the only one willing to help him should have warned him that this really was a stupid idea.
And technically it wouldn't even be a real kiss. Sure, lips would be meeting lips but it would be missing the passion. And really, would it even count when Soul had sort of tricked Kid into it?
The whole plan had begun the moment Black Star picked a fight with Kid in the courtyard of Shibusen(2). Soul had planted a distraction at the opposite side of the school so none of the teachers would interrupt the delicate process(3). Part of the plan involved Black Star supposedly loosing control and Soul stepping in and taking the hit for Kid like the cool guy he is.
He should have taken into account Black Stars' inability to follow plans.
Sure, everything worked out the way he wanted in the end, but did it really have to happen in such an uncool way? Black Star was so busy proclaiming his godly status that Kid, using only his skateboard, didn't even need Liz and Patty with him to kick his ass. Angry that his whole plan was quickly falling apart thanks to Black Star's stupidity, Soul ran out from his secret hiding place of awesomeness to beat him upside the head a bit more.
If he happened to slip, turn into his scythe form and cut him on the way, well, all the better.
However, he hadn't noticed Kid's skateboard lying in his path.
Soul gave an undignified (and totally uncool) yelp as the skateboard rolled forward, taking him with it(4). The rogue skateboard hit Black Star who was laying, dazed, on the ground. Soul went flying and landed in the nearby pool with a gigantic splash. This wasn't quite how he had planned on getting into the pool, but he would take what he could get. His plan wasn't completely ruined just yet. Soul let himself sink to the bottom of the pool and waited.
It was all up to Black Star to continue with the plan.
It was a scary thought.
"Yahoo! Did you see that, Kid? Aha haha, Soul you can come up now!" Black Star yelled a little too loudly.
Black Star and Kid looked at the water as bubbles rose and stopped.
"...Soul?" Black Star squeaked as the water went still. 'Soul is doing an awesome job of pretending to hurt himself! Aha haha a perfect execution of a plan thanks to the great me!'
"Didn't he say that he couldn't swim?" Kid asked, a nervous tinge to his voice.
"I'm sure he's fi-" Black Star began but was interrupted as Kid dived smoothly into the water after Soul.
The young shinigami grabbed Soul by the arm and pulled him up to the surface. The scythe weapon made himself go limp. With inhuman strength Kid hoisted Soul over the edge of the pool and then climbed out after him.
"He's not breathing! What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO!" Kid yelled, shaking Soul forcefully. "I don't know how to help him. I'm useless, despicable, I should be dead!"
"I don't think that's going to help..." Black Star muttered, watching the two of them. "Do you know CPR?" he added innocently, a glint in his eye.
"Yes! CPR!" Kid proclaimed, laying Soul on the ground. He leaned over the scythe, wiping the stray white hairs from Soul's forehead.
This was the moment! The culmination of a dastardly brilliant plan! Soul held his breath.
"How do you do CPR?" Kid deadpanned, looking back at Black Star.
Black Star's jaw hit the ground and Soul twitched violently.
"Well...you just, y'know, blow air into his mouth." Black Star stuttered, trying to salvage the situation.
Kid nodded, turning back to Soul and starting to lean down towards him.
Finally, this was it! After countless interruptions, humiliations and mistakes, it was going to happen! Kid's lips were inches from his, just a little further...
"Maybe you should go get Professor Stein." Kid suddenly sat up straight, looking back at Black Star.
"What are you doing? He's going to die!" Black Star yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Kid.
"I don't want to make a mistake and make it worse!" Kid defended himself, still looking at Black Star as Soul made shooing motions behind his back. "If I'm doing such a terrible job maybe you should do it!"
This was bad, very bad! Images of Black Star kissing him flashed through Soul's mind. He thought he might throw up. This was a nightmare!
Black Star stared at Kid, the look on his face resembling that of those who were faced with Excalibur. "Fine, I'll go get him but you need to do CPR until I get back!" Black Star yelled as Soul gave him a thumbs up behind Kid's back and quickly laid down as the shinigami turned back to him.
Black Star ran off, leaving Kid and Soul alone.
Kid shifted so that he was practically straddling his patient as he slowly started to lean over again, his lips lightly brushing Soul's. The scythe weapon's heart was beating a mile a minute, he could feel the shinigami's breath on his lips...
"If you wanted me to kiss you all you had to do was ask." Kid whispered, making Soul's red eyes snap open and stare at Kid's yellow ones.
"Wha-wha-wha...I...how...?" Soul stammered, staring at the shinigami.
"Did you honestly think Liz and Patty wouldn't tell me about your plan?" Kid replied, a smirk on his face.
"You bastard!" Soul yelled, squirming around underneath the other boy, trying to escape. "You knew this whole time and you've been playing with me! Fuck you!"
"I wanted to see how far you would go." Kid grinned, still straddling Soul and keeping him pinned to the ground. "It turns out you'd go to extraordinary lengths just to get me to kiss you."
Soul stopped squirming, feeling a blush heat his face. This was all wrong, completely wrong. He would kill those two for giving away his plan!
"Yeah well have you had a big enough laugh? Can you let me go now?" Soul growled, struggling to throw the other boy off of him. It wasn't working. Damn shinigami strength. Damn Maka for refusing to help him. Damn Kid and his stupid symmetry and his stupid skateboard and-
Lips. On his. Surprisingly soft and gentle considering their positions. Soul blinked and closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy the sensation.
Kid pulled back, another one of those smirks on his face. "Mission accomplished?"
Soul gave him a lazy grin which caused the shinigami to blush slightly. "That's the best you got? All that work just for that? I thought you could do better, re-"
He was interrupted by Kid slamming his mouth into his. This kiss was more passionate, the innocent kiss from before forgotten in the rush of lust and tongue.
"Now it's mission accomplished."
Footnotes:
1 Followed by a Maka chop to the head.
2 Needless to say the fight started the moment Black Star broke the perfect symmetry of the building.
3 This distraction involved Blair, cat nip, and very little clothing.
4 And he totally wasn't flailing and screaming like a girl. Not at all.
A/N: And that's that! I'm actually quite happy with this one. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please leave a review, I'd really appreciate the feedback!
I just can't get enough of Kid/Soul, they're so cute together! ;)