Hey Everybody!!

So i got this idea while i was eating dinner.. funny, i know. After Edward Cullen (the love of her and my life) leaves, what is she up to? Of course, Bella is trying hard to accept the idea that he is gone forever. After four months, you finally think she does.. family gets worried..but... when edward cullen returns two years later, is bella THAT much different? has she grown to hate edward the way jacob has? will they ever rekindle their passionate love? A lot more interesting than it sounds, MUCH more detail included, exciting parts. Im expecting to do quite a lot of chapters, but i need reviews to keep me going! :) Set four months after Edward leaves, kind of like new moon, but different. READ AND FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTERS EVER!! (story is in bpov for the first little while, then maybe jacob, maybe edward later on.. :O)

A FINAL NOTE!!: edward does come back in a few chapters, believe me, i cant stand having him gone either.. im trying to make the first few chapters interesting, i want you to really get involved with what bella feels like, what jake feels like, charlie, etc. if you skip ahead, you wont fully understand what bella has become!! :O

BPOV

"Bells?" Charlie called.

I sat in my room, not thinking, not moving, just wanting this part of me to come back that had been gone for so long. I wanted him back. And I wanted him now.

"Yeah?" I reluctantly half-shouted.

"I'm going fishing with Billy today," The usual.

"Alright," I barely said.

"Bye, Bells!"

I heard the front door close shut and I started to cry again. I curled up into my little ball by the edge of my bed and wept. He wasn't ever coming back. The most important person of my life would never return. I would never see his angelic face again, as if carved by the gods, and I would never hear his satisfying chuckle whenever I blushed. I wanted that back so badly. Nobody seemed to understand.

It had been four months since Edward left – I cringed even at the thought of his name – and I was not getting over it. Charlie had been really worried about me recently, I kept telling him I was fine. Besides, Charlie ought to believe it, right? He believes everything I say.. like I fell out of that window when a vampire bit me. But I hadn't died. Why? Of course. Because of my savior. At least, he used to be.

Why did everything in my mind link to Edward? Can't there be one single, solitary thought in there that had no connection to this godly being? Apparently not.

I searched my mind for something to take my mind off him – and this was a first. Wallowing in tears and baggy sweat pants had become my new life style, and I was almost positive that Charlie, Billy, and most importantly, Jacob, were at their breaking points. What, would they send me to military camp? A mental institute? Get me a shrink? I didn't want to tell anyone about Edward, and what he had once been to me, what he still is to me. That I didn't get to see the love of my life anymore. That he was gone. Forever.

Nobody wanted to hear that.

"Bella, this has really got to stop." Jacob sat across from me on Charlie's deep red loveseat.

Red. How perfect.

What, now I was even relating the colour of blood to Edward? No, this couldn't be happening.

I shook my head and shut my eyes tight. I could feel Jacob staring straight into my face, trying to see what he could do. Well, sorry to break it to you, but there was nothing anyone could do. Only, if only he would come back.. I stopped myself right there.

Stop it. Stop thinking about Edward Cullen. Now.

Who was that?

Stop it right now. Get back to your real family and friends, Bella.

Who was this talking to me?

I must have looked confused, because Jacob said, "Bells, I don't really think there's anything to be confused about anymore."

I sighed heavily.

"Edward left you in the woods more than four months ago. He left you."

"Would you stop talking about him like that!" I found myself practically shouting at Jake.

He looked surprised. "Didn't mean to hurt you like that, Bells. I just think it might be time for you to let you, know what I mean?"

I shook my head ravenously. I was never letting go that perfect picture of my angel carved into the back of my mind like stone.

"You can't make me."

My voice sounded darker than I meant it to. In fact, I hadn't really realized I had talked until Jacob shook his head, too.

"What, do you want us to send you somewhere, Bells? Like a mental institute? Want a shrink, for God's sake?"

Those words burned into me. No, of course I didn't want a shrink. I didn't want to leave anything in Forks. What if he came back, and didn't find me?

Bella, he's not coming back.

Stop talking!

I clenched my hands together, trying to get those stupid voices that were now obviously in my head to just shut up. Leave me alone. I don't need anyone else's help.

"I don't need anyone's help!"

Why was I speaking my mind so much lately? I hadn't talked in any other tone than mindlessly bored since he left.. he left.

Stop it, Bella!

That's it. I had enough. I got up angrily from the couch, mad at Jacob, mad at that stupid thing in my head who kept telling me the truth. I didn't want to hear the truth. I wanted to be with one person so badly in this world, and I felt the clutching at my chest again. I started breathing heavily and had to grab the edge of the staircase for support.

"Bells?" Jake quickly supported me with one of his hands on the small of my back, then reached over to hold my hand.

His heat radiated off him, onto me, and I instantly felt better.

"Don't let go," I found myself crying into Jacob's shoulder a split second later.

"I won't, Bella, I won't."