Wow. I mean just... wow. I, lover of all things AkaDore and perfectionist extrodanair, have finally written what I dub to be a 'decent AkaDore story'. And it's not some hopeless fluff!
And the characters! So much intense emotion! I showed a side that I didn't even know exsisted! So this is actually a little dark... And a little angsty... So angsty you probably wouldn't recognize the coupling...
But amazingly... I can't even believe I'm the one who wrote it!
So, yeah... Doremi may be a little OOC... Akatsuki may be viewed as the heartless jerk most KotaDore fans view him as... I may be more of the type to protest in his defense... And I may be some Ojamajo Doremi obsessed weirdo.
Still... I have never felt such a great accomplishment like this before...
Personally... I'm thanking this one author whose works are a bit like this... Awesome!
But like I said earlier.
I don't CARE if you flame... But at least throw me a bone and say what's WRONG with it! And don't say it's because AkaDore is 'so wrong' and Doremi belongs with Kotake or any of that jazz...
I stick to the belief that they're just FRIENDS, people... I could care less about that right now. And believe it or not, there are actually several occasions I view Aka-chan like this...
But be more constructive! That's my yearning! My passion!
...Sheesh, I talk too much.
Disclaimer: It should be obvious Ojamajo Doremi isn't mine by now. I want it... But Toei won't hand it over... DARN YOU TOEI!
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Illusion
Lies.
All she knew was that every word that escaped his perfect lips, the one that would send her into deep thrills of escasty.
She would be positive those words were lies.
Waiting for spring to come, waiting for a romantice summer encounter...
What a waste of time.
This wasn't a fairy tale where she would miraculously become a princess and the prince would come to her, beckoning her to stay with him forever... Was there such things as 'happily ever after'?
Of course not.
Harukaze Doremi knew that... And she still chose to believe his lies... Even after she knew.
After she found out the first part was a ruse, that he was just playing with her emotions, that she was putty in his hands, easy to go along with whatever he suggested... Even when she knew how wrong it was.
It was exactly the way a prince and a commoner should act towards one another.
But it was still enough to send her mind in a whirl... Did he mean it when he told her that there was 'no other way' and it was for his country? Was the sympathy and concern in his eyes true?
Could they have been more if law allowed it?
Or was that just apart of the net of lies Akatsuki had so keenly wove her in?
She just didn't know anymore... It was all a blur.
That day he first came through the door, greeting her with a respect that was so inhuman... so uncommon. Right off the bat, he told her that he thought she was very kind? Did he truly believe that? Or perhaps he thought that would make taking advantage of her so much easier?
The second one.
When he 'saved' Hana-chan from Oyajide, she knew that part for sure was an act... Maybe not willing on the old man's part, but definitely his plan set in action, shattering the thin walls of her doubt. When he called her charming, she could recall flattery.
Charming suited him much more than it did her... He could win her heart and do whatever he pleased with it... As if the fragile item was already his to play with.
It was, of course.
He was so different from any other guys she showed intrest in... He was the only one who would notice her, smile politely... A fake smile seeming so real, she believed it... He was the only one who try to make her happy, even if it was for all the wrong reasons.
And she didn't really count that guy who Onpu had casted a love spell on.
But there was magic invovled. His. And yet, he didn't need magic to get what he wanted. He could simply get it with perfect acting, his flawless plan to seduce her to the point where she could say yes to anything.
Heck, he already won over Hazuki, Aiko, and even Onpu with his act... But why he continued to pursue her was a mystery. Maybe it was because she was the leader in a way... The fact she became a witch apprentice first (he obviously wasn't aware of the fact that she was the first person to fail the fairy test in a 100 years) or was it the fact that he knew if he played his cards right, if he used her in just the right way, then without a doubt, his plan would be a success.
But if that was true... She could wonder over and over again... What part of the game had he became hesistant? What about her could have reached his closed off heart and made him see in the light the way she had?
Perhaps she used him too, without realizing it. The emptiness she felt, he could fill it up easily with those lies... And when she held on too tight for his liking, he could of reconsidered. He could of been disgusted.
But no, Akatsuki-kun wasn't like that. He may be a selfless, heartless, manipulative prince... But his own kindness was just as easy to take advantage of as hers was.
She could have told him over and over again about her dream about the two of them in that flowery place... About his hand reached out to hold her own, only for him to disappear out of her grasp... Getting further and further away with the look of pure sadness that she couldn't comfort him for, no matter how fast she'd ran and no matter how loudly she'd scream his name. If that was what it took for him to notice her.
It was worth it, seeing the sudden confusion in his hypnotic violet eyes. It was worth the surprised but light gasps he'd make, followed by another courteous and fake smile as well as another lie that she'd foolishly believe, still in the illusion that the boy in front of he was the prince charming to whisk her away to happiness.
But no, he'd play through again, her chance against him wasting away just as quickly as it came up. And she'd frantically pick up and continue their pointless game, knowing fully well that her heart would never allow her winning.
She knew it would hinder her, even with Hana-chan in his arms, calling for her 'mama', completely unaware that 'mama' couldn't save her from the prince, not with her feelings for him running still so deeply and stubbornly.
It didn't matter anymore. The lies were broken, and he had no choice but to look her in the eye and tell her the truth. There weren't anymore loopholes that he was so use to finding.
But there were loopholes on her side for once, and she could finally use his feelings the way he used hers, she could finally shatter the walls of his heart and slip inside... And she would win it all and lose everything all at the same time.
Doremi didn't know why he gave Hana back... Why he couldn't just continue... Why he couldn't just ignore her pleas, instead of turning from the point of no return... But the only possibility was as impossible to believe as their love had been from the beginning.
He could have been in love with her. That would have explained everything.
Why his smiles were so much more on that last day, why his lies were watered down more and more, why he was able to truly laugh around her... Loud, but royal, like a true prince. And why his expression had put her heart on pins and needles, that sad expression that clearly said he didn't wish to continue... Followed by his final empathy, fading away all his fake apathy and cold behavior.
That could have been the real him that her heart yearned for.
He could have won. It would have been easy. But instead he surrendered, giving back Hana-chan as well as her heart, something she gave right back in a matter of seconds. She was still all his, and she wanted him to know that, in the very least.
She could fantasize about what would have happened. She could imagine him saying the words she yearned for all her life from someone... The mere three words "I love you".
She could have told him that over and over again... If that meant he returning her unrequited feelings.
But she knew better. His falling in love with her only marked the final nail of their forbidden and unallowed love... She couldn't have him. He could still do whatever he wanted with her, and that only made her feel even worse.
Why couldn't she win against him now that the odds were finally evened out?
But she knew. He could lie and seduce her all his... No, all her life... And she'd still be foolish enough to believe all of it. If he shattered her into a thousand pieces, she'd still welcome him with open arms that they both knew he didn't deserve.
Akatsuki could win. He always would be able to.
It was just like that unfair match against Kotake. Even then, she couldn't stay mad at him.
And he'd win again, this time by losing. His admittance to cheating meant nothing if he couldn't admit to his unallowable love for Doremi.
She knew he'd never admit to such a thing. Her twisted love story... He could have his way, but she could never had hers.
What was the point?
But then she'd imagine being in his arms, his hands tenderly stroking her hair... His lips against hers till the world could stop turning for all she cared. Doremi could bury her head in his warm chest... And she would finally have what she always wanted. Him.
Perhaps this was her penace... Doomed to a life of fantasies that would never come true... A returned love that would never be. A life that just seemed to empty and meaningless without him... Even with all her invaluable friends.
But she would recall the true smile she saw on that faithful day... She would recall the true way he said her name, with a love and devotion that let her knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt her, including himself. She would recall her hands in his... The warmth comforting enough to forget that dreadful nightmare.
And silently and hopefully, as usual...
She would tell herself that he was worth it.