HEY TO whoever comes across this and reads it thanks for that BTW

Anyways just so you know this story is not just for fun well it kind of is but the whole reason I want to write this story is to let out all the frustration I have when it comes to guys yes guys! Because right now their getting on I'm nerves and I'm just tired of having feelings for the guys that are assholes and have no feelings at all and I hate myself for still falling for them in the first place and if you're a girl and your reading this I think you might relate with me or maybe not.

Anyways everything that I'm going to write about in this story actually happened to me I didn't make any of this up and it might take me a while but I know I will feel better once I'm done writing this for whoever is going to read this I hope you enjoy it and understand my feelings toward this and I want reviews on your opinion.

I'm just going to use the Degrassi characters names not their personality or anything it's going to be actual people that I see through my eyes ok just to let you know. SORRY IF THIS WAS TOO LONG I JUST NEEDED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF

Chapter one: Trying to not be afraid

I am 16 years old and people see me as this nice quite girl that is completely innocent but that's not a way I would describe myself only my best friends and sister that really know me ,know that that's not completely true. I like to have fun, go to parties get a little crazy and once I see a guy I think is super-hot I say some things that maybe I shouldn't say out loud but that's just me. The thing is I always find it hard to try and talk to a guy I don't know and believe me when I say I get scared out of my mind when I'm even near a guy I have a crush on. My cheeks get read I have a hard time speaking and actually looking at the guy in the eye.

One of my best friends thinks it does like the easiest thing in the world to just go up to a guy and talk to them I really don't how she does that.

She would always try to make me talk to a guy and she will never give up until is finally happens.

One Saturday I invited her Alli, and my other best friend Imogene to a 15 birthday party that one of my oldest friends was having Jenna. I couldn't wait I love going to 15 parties and for those of you who don't know a 15 party is not a normal birthday party for a Mexican. I love being Mexican my name is Clarissa but they call me Clare which make people doubt me when I tell them my ethnicity. That and the fact that my skin color is very white.

I was getting ready in my room curling my hair on my own for the first time and let me tell you it's not as easy as it looks. Then finally Alli and Imogene came we were all just talking and watching a show waiting for my mom to come home.

Once we got in the car it was like six so as always we would be coming late. That it's becoming a routine.

While we were in the car we were all talking about who might be there and who might not. I was most curious in wondering if there would be any cute guys I might dance with. I have danced with guys I don't know before in parties and I must say I feel special when they ask me to dance with them .Even though they don't seem like my type but I still say yes what I hate is that my dad would always get mad at me for even thinking about talking to guys, so dancing with one is way worse in his eyes maybe that explains why I'm so scared of talking to guys, But my dad is not here right now….

I promised myself if I see a cute guy at this party I will dance with him.

We finally arrived and it was kind of getting a little dark but it was only about to be seven so we walked in to the venue which was just a public gym that people can rent to do events in and it was huge! Alli, Imogen and me walked up to a table and went around and hugged Marisol and Bianca they were all complaining on the fact that we were late, talking about how they thought we weren't going to come. As if I was going to miss this party.

I noticed Marisol's older brother so I waved and said 'hi' I also noticed his friend Eli I know him from school but I never talked to him he had a hat on and was staring off into space like he could care less about anything that was going on around him so I didn't think about being friendly and saying hi to him but what I did notice was how much he changed last time I really saw him or had any contact with him at all was freshman year when we had Earth science together first period he was short then and the last thing I remember from him was this immature comments that made me think how nasty minded he is and a little funny but I never thought nothing more of him.

Until he looks up and glances at me I see the most shining bright amazing eyes that just stand out from his child like face and his diamond piercing that just made him more appealing to me and I just couldn't help but think wow he is fine.

All throughout the party I couldn't stop myself and I kept glancing at him and sneaking peaks just to look at his face I mean he looks so different but yet similar since the last time I saw him he GREW as in he is tall! I never thought I could meet a cute guy that was this tall but he proved me wrong.

I tried to keep this to myself because knowing my friends they would make it all obvious and wouldn't leave me alone about it so I kept it to myself. Until the music started for us to dance and I was dancing with my friends and I just kept looking at him thinking about dragging him up to dance floor like I did with some guys before but something in me wouldn't let me do it and I don't know why?

I have done it before why is it different now? Then Marisol brought him into our dancing group and I mentally slapped myself thinking about how I could have done that! Later he just sat back down to the table and I made myself not pay attention to everything he was doing because I don't want him think I'm stalking him.

I was dancing with my sister having fun trying to forget he even existed until she said "Oh dam look at Manny dancing with that guy *she whistled* get it girl" but I doubt anyone heard her but me. I turn around and see this short skinny girl dancing with Eli.

Not just dancing but grinding and I just had to stop staring at them but I couldn't he just looked plain hot when he was moving to the beat of the song by Daddy Yankee called "Descontrol". (Spanish reggaetón song by a famous singer)

I was just plain jealous, that could have been me! I SHOULD HAVE ASKED HIM TO DANCE LIKE I SAID I WOULD. Why couldn't I have done that?

Why god why? He is soooooo my type.

The girl Manny came to us to my surprise. I saw my sister whisper something to her and she just smiled and giggled. Then my sister whispered to me and she said "I asked her if she got them digits" my sister laughed I played along laughing too but the jealousy came back.

Manny said "he so cute don't you think" I said yeah completely agreeing with her I can't hate her just because she has the same taste as me can I?

We both looked back and Eli came back probably from the bathroom and I just quickly looked away when I noticed him and Manny going outside and she was trying to get to know him and talk to him. I mentally smiled when I saw how bored and uninterested he looked. Maybe I shouldn't be jealous when I don't even really know this guy but I couldn't help it what is wrong with me?

I need forget this! This is stupid! He could be an asshole for all I know!

So when my mom told us it was time to leave I went to congratulate Jenna and I said bye to her I also said bye to Manny since me and her actually got a long pretty well ignoring the fact that Eli had his arm around her shoulders and left. Great I get to leave and forget these stupid things I'm feeling and I could just forget about this when I go back to school Monday but what I didn't know was that I still had to see Eli at school in my first period class every morning throughout the rest of the year.

THEIR MISS ANONYMOUS I EDITED IT! HAPPPY! AND NO IT DID NOT KILL ME! :p