Disclaimer: I do not own anything you can recognize.
Claimer: I do own anything you can't recognize.
WARNING: mentions of alcohol/drug abuse, religious references
Summary: Suzanne Chevalier and Spike Scarlatti had been good friends in the police academy but then became an alcoholic destroying every part of her life. She left Spike alone and hurt, never even emailing him. She showed up two years after the fact a different person. She tried to push Spike away this time but he wouldn't give up on her. Will they pulled together or pushed apart?
"Finding Home Again"
Chapter 1 "Starting To Heal,"
Suzanne brought herself to knock on that door ignoring the fact it was pouring out. She had to start with Lou then to Spike. If she tried to talk to Spike straight up he won't understand. She knew if she walked away now she'd never be able to live her life.
"Suzanne?" said Lou.
"I'm not going to give a sappy story about why I did what I did but the truth. I was stupid and weak. At the time I left Toronto I was an alcoholic but that isn't any accuse for hurting you and Spike like I did. I hit rock bottom last year and I finally got help. I'm not asking you to forgive me right now to at least hear out my apology," said Suzanne tears filling her hazel eyes.
"Suzy, we would have helped you. You didn't need to run from us," said Lou.
"I wasn't me anymore," stated Suzy.
"Get in here before you get sick," demanded Lou.
Suzy was blindsided this put still came in. She hadn't realized how soaked she had gotten while debating knocking on the door. She started to shiver after being in warm air.
"Sit down and I'll go get you something warm to drink," said Lou.
"Nothing with alcohol please," said Suzy.
"You did just tell me you just recovered from being an alcoholic," said Lou.
Suzy smiled softly when Lou handed her hot chocolate.
"Are you going to tell me why you started drinking and why you stopped or do you want to drop the subject?" asked Lou.
"I started to drink because after I became a cop my family cut off all ties with me besides my little sister who tried to get me to get drugs for her but I refused and she said things that sent me over the edge. I used alcohol to try to numb the feeling of my family rejecting me. I hit rock bottom after my little sister overdosed on drugs and I nearly killed myself when I drank a little bit too much after her funeral. I tried to go to my parents but they told me they never wanted see me again. So I found myself at a church one day and I literally begged for God to help me. A priest had heard me and told me about a program. I got into it and came out a better person. I left the police force and I open a little cafe," said Suzy.
"I never saw you as religious," whispered Lou not meaning to say it all.
"I wasn't until last year. I asked for help and I got it," said Suzy "now I'm trying to redeem myself."
"I honesty could never turn my back on you. You made Spike and I get up and keep moving that first year. You should have been worried about yourself not us," said Lou.
"Back then I was just a kid who thought my family would be proud of anything I did," said Suzy.
"Most families would have been proud to have a daughter like you. Your family will never realize how lucky they are to have you," said Lou.
"I never realized I didn't need them when had you two. I never imagine that it would go this well," said Suzy trying not to start crying.
"You always did come up with unrealistic outcomes," said Lou.
"That's true," laughed Suzy.
Suzy took a deep breath and stared into the mug.
"How did Spike take it?" asked Suzy barely in a whisper.
"To be honest, he took it hard. He loved you and you left him a mess," said Lou.
"I never meant to hurt him," whispered Suzy tears forming.
"I know you didn't. But he hasn't had a relationship that has lasted more than a month since you," said Lou.
"No one was supposed to get her besides me but if that was true I wouldn't be here," said Suzy.
"He will forgive you if you just talk to him. Trust me he does miss you and if you called his cell you would understand. We both missed you," said Lou.
"I might just call him but don't expected me to talk to him right away," said Suzy.
"Here is his cell, don't tell him I gave it to you," said Lou writing done Spike's cell number of a piece of paper.
"I'll call him sometime but he better not answer," said Suzy.
"Stop worrying so much. He won't be mad at you," said Lou.
"You can't be for certain. If what you told me is true I don't think I could have screwed up any more than I did," stated Suzy frowning.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes," said Lou.
"I nearly destroyed my whole life and nearly lost myself that isn't a mistake everyone makes," said Suzy.
"I have another friend who was an alcoholic and he lost everything he had, he hasn't seen his son in eight years because of it. After recovering he ended up my boss," said Lou.
"Thanks for everything," said Suzy getting up.
"Here, call me, I don't want to lose contact again," said Lou jotting down his cellphone number.
"Lou," said Suzy turning around before leaving.
"Yes," said Lou.
"I did miss you guys too," said Suzy.
"You didn't need to tell me, I saw it in your eyes. You were a cop, you should know that the eyes tell everything," said Lou.
"Were being the word in that sentence. I've changed since then," said Suzy leaving.
Lou couldn't get Suzy out of his head, well the new Suzy. She had always been a confident spitfire but now she was timid and calm that it made him worry about her. He could see that she wasn't the same Suzy he knew. Her eyes told a deeper story then what she told him. He wasn`t sure she was telling the truth about everything. She seemed so broken that it seemed unlikely she had ever gone to rehab.
Suzy popped down on her couch in her apartment. She just sat there for the longest of time just thinking and staring. She looked at the photo of her, Spike and Lou on the day they graduated from the police academy then sighed.
She dialed Spike's cellphone number. She heard it ring three times before the answering machine came on.
"You've reached Spike Scarlatti. I'm not available at the moment so leave your number and a message. I'll get back to you soon as possible. And if this is Suzy please call back because it's not too late," said the machine.
Suzy choked back tears. He still loved her after so many years and still is willing to talk. She didn't feel like she deserved friends like Lou and Spike.
"Hello, anyone there?" asked Spike.
"Spike?" said Suzy barely a whisper.
"Suzy?" said Spike stunned.
"I just talked to Lou; I would like to talk to you sometime soon," said Suzy.
"Okay-when?" asked Spike.
"Whenever," said Suzy.
"Tomorrow, I'll call you after I finish work," said Spike.
"Sorry I let the machine go on for so long," said Suzy.
"Its fine," said Spike.
"I will explain everything and by the end of this you're going to get tired of hearing this but I'm so sorry. I had to hit rock bottom before I could be saved and I didn't want to hurt you more than I had to," whimpered Suzy.
"Just don't run from me again," said Spike.
"I will never run from you or any friend again," said Suzy.
Please review and I would like to thank my Belta Reader, TattooedLibrarian, who never gave up on me trying to write this story.