I beg everyone for forgiveness. I've broken the cardinal rule of fanfiction writing.
Yes. I inserted myself and a friend. I'm being up front and honest about it, both because you the readers have a right to know, and because I am ashamed at my weak will against some pushy friends (glares at Kitty and Xian). I will understand if no one wants to read this- this is, while serious, somewhat of a crack fic for me that will probably become epic if I keep getting enough ideas and my friends keep poking me to write more and more.
Man, I'm such a hypocrit....
Okay, don't read this story. If you're looking for crack-free, blood-free, angst-free, humor-free fanfiction, you won't find it here. I would suggest perhaps turning your computer off, and going to your local library and picking up the newest Wall Street Journal and reading that instead of this horrible after-birth of creativity and general randomness with lots and lots of eventual plot.
...why are you still reading this? Shoo! This'll melt your brain and bring down your GPA.
Even though Nami had known the storm was coming, she was surprised at the ferocity of it.
They hadn't seen a storm this bad since they first entered the Grand Line. The wind felt like it was close to ripping the skin off the navigator, the rain didn't pour, it was dumped by the barrel-fulls, and lightning danced all too close to the ship- lightning that was more than just the yellow to blue hues one normally saw. Red, black, and green popped up more often as time went on.
She hadn't felt the pressure go down that steeply though...
She mentally slapped herself. This was the Grand Line- what you didn't expect or prepare for could kill you.
"Zoro, Sanji, Franky! Make sure the anchor is strapped in tight! Robin! Keep the wheel steady! Luffy! Pull the sails in! Chopper, Brooke! Make sure the life lines are on EVERYONE and are tight!"
She didn't bother to watch the others as they scurried to obey her, yelling at each other over the din of the storm, keeping in touch with each other as well as going about their tasks.
Nami was already tying herself to the mast, with the rope being long enough for her to move up and down the deck for her navigational duties. As she ran back and forth and sideways along the ship, trying to get their bearings, the others were well on their way to completing their assigned tasks.
She let out a screech when a wave unexpectedly smashed into her, sending her towards the railing of the ship.
A sharp tug on her waist stopped her progress, and she offered a quick, thankful smile to Chopper, who had changed into his more human form.
"Everyone is tied to the life lines Nami," he bellowed over the yowl of the weather.
"Good Chopper! What about the anchor and the sails?" Nami yelled back.
"All done! What do we need to do now?"
Nami pushed her sopping bangs from her face as she gave him a grim look. "We hold on. The nearest port is northwest of here, and it'll take another two days or so to get to it, unless my navigational skills are wrong on that too."
"Everyone makes mistakes Nami! Anyway, what do you want us to do while we wait?"
"Make sure everything stays the way it's supposed to," she said grimly. "Make sure everyone is able to eat and at least rest for an hour or so in turns...and keep an eye on Zoro's life line. That one blade of his...I don't trust it."
"Aye," Chopper nodded, and plodded off through the downpour.
"I hope we can make it even though I screwed up," Nami muttered to herself as she pushed herself towards the wheel to give directions to Robin.
"Idiot marimo. My shirt is ruined."
Zoro felt the familiar tick in his temple at the cook's comment. "Yeah," he drawled as they worked on some of the rigging that had broken during the maelstrom. "Like I could conjure up that thing and specifically tell it to aim that school of lobster at ya."
The swordsman thought it had been rather funny. Towards the end of the storm, the last tidal wave had dumped a large group of lobsters on the chef, which had resulted in Sanji running up and down the deck, yelling obscenities as the little crustaceans grabbed onto him, and wouldn't let go until Luffy had started stuffing them in his mouth. His tongue had been wounded in his attempt to save his nakama, but Luffy had felt it was worth it.
Well, at least they had plenty of lobster in the aquarium now.
"You do have an animal magnetism," Sanji groused, fingertips drifting sadly over his ripped and torn shirt. "You owe me a new one."
"Like hell I do," the swordsman snorted as he tied in the rigging. That was the last one...ah, port! After nearly three sleepless days in that mother of all storms-
"Land ho!" Usopp called from the crow's nest belatedly.
"No shit," Sanji grumbled, slinking back towards the galley, fingers already digging out a cigarette. "At the very least shithead, go and buy the stuff I'll need."
"Get it yerself."
"Can't, Nami-swan wants me to stay behind and help her asses the damage on her trees," Sanji crooned, happy hearts dancing in his eyes as his body wiggled like a noodle.
"Quit that! That's disgusting!"
"Shut up asshole!"
"SANJI! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!"
"Yes my love! Let me just send the rude idiot on his way." A bag of gold was sent flying at Zoro's head, and it thunked against the swordsman, who managed to growl at Sanji and simultaneously catch the bag before it hit the ground.
"List is inside dumbass," the cook said dismissively as he headed up the stairs and around towards Nami's grove.
Zoro had just enough time to think a few nasty thoughts about the chef before the rest of the Straw Hats came at him.
More like stampeded over him.
Cursing nasty things about their parentage and sexual preferences, Zoro picked himself up and followed after them, though not as quickly. He wanted to go at his own pace damn it. Slow and steady like the turtle...
The fish market passed by at a leisurely pace, along with the market district as the swordsman trotted along. He might have enjoyed the new scenery, but he had something on his mind.
He still couldn't remember how the turtle had won the race. Did it snap the legs off the hare? Did it take a shortcut through water? Or maybe the hare was caught and barbequed and the turtle was able to win?
As the swordsman pondered over this, he passed by the town square where it seemed there was something going on. A large crowd was gathered, chatting excitedly while a large man stood on a platform, hands raised and gesticulating wildly.
"Oi, Zoro," Luffy called, waving him over closer. Usopp and Chopper were with him as well, and while Chopper's face was curious, Usopp...was disturbed it seemed. Nothing new there.
However, Zoro's hackles were raised at the look on his captain's face; something definitely wasn't right. His captain hardly ever looked this somber, and he soon found out why.
"Listen to that guy," Usopp muttered, arms over his chest as he frowned up at the talking man. "Talking about human lives like that!"
"Yes citizens! Wasn't that last bunch beautiful and docile? Perfect for housework or for your bedroom pleasures!" the man boomed, mustache wiggling as he spoke.
Slavery, Zoro thought with a sinking feeling. It wasn't unheard of; after all, there were even rumors that the World Government actually endorsed it secretly. But it was still a bit of a shock to the first mate to see it practiced.
"Now my citizens, a treat for you! These last two, while certainly untamed and wild, are by far more exotic than the rest! I'd tell you how I came into possession of them...but then I wouldn't have anymore trade secrets!"
The crowd laughed. Zoro felt disgust course him. He wanted to walk away, to forget what he was hearing. But he couldn't, and like the other three boys, stood stock still as the man continued.
"For the first one, I'd suggest perhaps the field, or basic grunt work, as she's both strong and stupid. The nice thing about her is that she is so stupid...she can't talk! A perfect slave, wouldn't you agree?"
A roar of laughter from the crowd made Luffy frown, Usopp twitch his long nose in disgust, and Chopper to look confused, and look up at Zoro.
"Ne, Zoro? Why is that funny?"
"It's not," was Zoro's gruff reply as the swordsman continued to glare up at the platform.
"As for the other, even though she lacks hair, she is of a more...gentle disposition. With proper training and discipline, she'd be great around the house or with children eventually!"
An interested murmur near the boys. "Hm, Gaya, don't you think we could use that one with Marcus?"
The woman's answer was drowned out by the mustached man booming out again.
"The only bad thing about this folks is that it's a two for one deal. I wouldn't feel right separating them! They came to me together, and they'll leave together! Now now, I know what you're thinking," he hurried as the crowd muttered darkly. "That you need only one or the other. Well, even though I could sell them apart for more money, I'm willing to sacrifice the profit to make you, my customers, happy! Due to their odd personalities and with certain...skills...lacking, we're starting the bidding much much lower than we would on regular humans!"
"Troublesome slaves," a woman hissed near Luffy's elbow. "They're either lovers or twins then if he doesn't want to go through possible trouble when separating them!"
"Alright Taka, bring 'em out so everyone can get a nice good look at them!" the seller bellowed, smiling as his assistant, a tall muscle-bound man with a leering expression on his face, lumbered onto the stage, a chain in hand as he dragged the women up with him.
Chopper, as well as Luffy, let out horrified cries that went unheard by the rest of the assembly as the slaves were pushed and dragged into view. Usopp must have seen things like this before, Zoro thought idly as he glanced at the long-nosed boy, who was staring stonily up at the auctioneer.
Zoro turned his attention back to the new slaves, tuning out the seller as he started listing various physical assets of both women.
Both were dressed in what he assumed to be simple burlap sacks that were probably coarse enough to leave some patches of their skin red, which the salesman proved by tugging the collar down on one of them to show of the 'fine bone structure'.
One was fine-boned, pale, and as the man had stated, bald. She did seem to exude an air of submission, innocence, and curiosity. Her fear was evident, but she was fighting it down. Her eyes were a refreshing blue, clear and honest. She held her head high; she was showing a pride and confidence in herself that would turn off most buyers, or so Zoro thought. She was slightly taller than her companion, and with the way she held herself, you would almost think that she was also a part of the crowd, interested in what was going on and holding herself up like any other human being. She seemed intelligent, as the man had also stated, and was taking everything in that reminded Zoro the way Sanji looked around in the pantry; taking stock of everything, and making a mental list of what was there, what was rotten, what was needed, and so on and so forth.
The other one...
He'd never really seen a woman before that automatically made him think of 'demon' or 'trouble'. This one, with her scraggly shoulder-length brown hair over half of her face and decidedly more chains around her, was probably the 'wild' one of the two. She was hunched slightly, perhaps under the weight of the chains, and her skin was more dusty brown than anything. Her eyes were the opposite of the other; where as the other slaves' eyes were a clear blue of a calm sea, the wild one's...they were almost black, and though her face was composed into a rather careless look, the eyes...
SHE was dangerous. SHE would be the deal-breaker for sure.
Not because of her strength, Zoro decided. Oh no, nothing that simple or primal.
But because he could tell, just by looking into the one eye that was visible, she was not stupid.
She was intelligent. And she was planning something at the moment.
"Ne, Zoro?" Luffy whispered softly. "Why are they pulling their clothes and stuff to where they're showing off their body parts that you're not supposed to see?"
His captain was right. The bald one blushed and tried to push her clothing back down. The feral one flushed, then snapped at her keeper's hand, her teeth almost crunching onto his hand.
"To show off what they have," Zoro grunted, his blood beginning to boil.
"Why?"
"In case anyone would want to fuck them."
Luffy blinked. "They probably wouldn't like that, would they?"
"No, probably not."
"But it's wrong!"
"You don't think I know that?" Zoro said, rubbing his forehead.
"They're treating those women like cattle! Even worse than that!" Chopper whimpered. "Why do people do this to each other?" The reindeer looked like he was about to cry.
"Because people are lazy, and people are cruel," Usopp jumped in, still not smiling.
"Huh?"
As Usopp launched into a condensed and watered-down explanation of economics and slavery, the bidding had started.
"Who's gonna give me 500? 500500500? SIX! 600600600 do I hear 650? SEVEN! 700700700 EIGHT! Do I hear 9? 900900900-"
"Ne, Zoro?"
"Ah, Luffy?"
"Do something!"
Zoro was about to snap at him before he blinked, and shut his mouth.
Nami had mentioned it would probably take at least three days to get the log post set. This was their first day here. If they caused too much of a commotion, they might have to leave sooner than they planned, or fight a fight that they shouldn't have gotten into.
Sanji was going to kill him, he thought wearily as he pulled out the bag of money.
"900900900900900doIhear950?"
"2,890," Zoro bellowed out.
The crowd hushed, and the salesman was temporarily speechless.
"Zoro!" Usopp hissed, glancing around at the dumbfounded crowd. "What are you doing?!"
Zoro ignored him, and made his way towards the stage.
"Um, excuse me sir, I must have not heard correctly-"
"Two thousand, eight hundred and ninety beli," Zoro said clearly, arms crossed over his chest and giving the salesman and his muscle man a bored look as he stood right in front of the stage.
"And you are...?"
Shit. On one hand, he could lie and save himself and his crew mates some grief. But...from the look on the muscle-head, it might be more trouble if he just made up something on the spot.
"Roronoa Zoro, former Pirate Hunter and currently first mate of the Straw Hat pirates," he droned.
If it had been any other situation, he would have laughed at how quickly the square emptied, leaving behind only Luffy, Chopper, Usopp, and a startled looking stray cat.
The salesman's mouth opened and closed in rapid succession for a moment before he cleared his throat and offered Zoro a dazzling smile.
"Well, you seem to have won the auction, as my other potential customers have mysteriously vanished-"
"I'll take 'em now," the swordsman growled, giving both the girls a quick look-over. The bald one seemed confused...the wild one looked dumbstruck, and then furious.
"Ah, sorry, but they must be taken back to my office while we do the paperwork," the mustached man said apologetically. "Taka? Would you mind...?"
The muscle-head grunted, turned, and lead the way down the stairs, tugging and pulling the chain link as needed.
"This way please good sir," the salesman smiled, and bowed in the general direction of his office.
Zoro nodded at Luffy to wait, and followed after the man, leaving behind a furious Usopp, a smug Luffy, and a very, very confused Chopper.