Again, can't believe someone else hasn't done this yet. Read on, and prepare for humor!...maybe?
What you are about to read is an attempt to catalog a grand and rather lunatic story heard from a random sailor passing through the local tavern of Pele, which is a medium sized Summer island on the Grand Line.
As the storyteller of this part of Pele, I've decided to write down what the sailor said, after calming him down enough to agree to sit in several sessions so as to gather as much information concisely and as quickly as possible.
Before we begin, the sailor reminds me that in the Grand Line, anything is possible and to not judge him for what he's about to tell me.
I agree (naturally) and after shoving another drink at him, listen as he begins his tale...
Roronoa Zoro could be a patient man at times. Patience was part of his training. Patience is what got him from point A to point M, or point G, or wherever the hell he was supposed to be going to meet his nakama. Patience is what gave him an edge in those few battles where brute strength wasn't enough. Patience is what got him through every single day and night in Luffy's company.
On any given day, Zoro would answer that yes, he was very patient.
Today...not so much.
"Where the hell is that stupid cook?" the swordsman growled, shielding his eyes against the glare of the sun as he waited next to the tavern that Sanji had told him to meet back at around three. Zoro squinted at the clock in the town square.
It was now four thirty.
"Shitty cook, probably got lost," Zoro grumbled, wiping the back of his hand over his brow. On a summer island in the middle of their summer...and the cook was making him wait.
They had been ordered by the Sea Witch to gather supplies while her and Robin went shopping. Chopper had wandered off towards the nearest apothecary, and Luffy...well, Zoro didn't hear any frantic yelling of "MEAT!" or "GOMU GOMU NO...!" so he was probably busy stuffing his face.
And he was still waiting for the ero cook. Damn it all to hell.
"Cheh. Stupid bastard probably got lost. Guess I better go find him before he-"
"Mreow."
The green haired man glanced down at his feet, eyebrow cocked.
Damn cat. Blocking his path...fine. He'd go the other way. He knew a shortcut to where he wanted to go anyway...
Turning around, he headed past the tavern, ducked through an alleyway, and came out near the docks.
Wait. This wasn't the industrial sector.
Damn cat screwed him up.
"Mreow."
It had followed him! No, no no no. He was certain that black cats were fairly common, especially ones that looked at you so...sternly.
Muttering to himself, he turned and walked away from the cat again.
Ah, see? He was going in the right direction after all! He was in the marketplace, which was fairly close to the docks!
"Mreow."
Damn it! It was following him!
He scowled at it, then bent down to make himself more at eye level to it.
The feline simply gazed up at him, tail swishing and that superior look still on it's face. He wasn't an expert on cats- or any animal for that matter, but this one seemed oddly...human almost. Cat's always moved or napped. This one sat there, still as a block of stone, save for when it blinked.
This was a little unnerving if the swordsman was honest with himself.
Like he'd let a cat mess with his head.
"Stop following me cat," he growled, poking it with a finger. "You're screwing me up."
"Mreow. Mreow mreow."
"Shut up and leave me alone. I gotta go find that stupid cook before he gets himself into trouble."
With that, he stood, and headed towards the docks.
"Mreow."
What the-
The cat, he could have sworn THE same cat, was sitting in front of him, blocking his path once more. Growling at it, he turned left.
There it was again.
He turned to go right-
Again, same cat, same response.
Getting frustrated with the stupid animal, Zoro broke into a run, ducking through shops and alleyways. Yet every other turn he made, IT WAS THERE!!!
Swearing loudly, the swordsman kept running.
Turn turn turn turnturnturnturnturn CAT!!!
Abrupt turn around, and streak off to the left- or was it right?
"Mreow."
Run up a wall onto the roof of a building- ah, what a lovely view of the neighborhood, and there was the marina! Why, it was closer than-
"Mreow."
Shit!
He could have sworn he heard the damn thing snickering at him.
"Oi, shithead. I told you to meet me here at three. It's five o'clock. You get lost again?"
Zoro felt relief course through him at seeing the stupid cook. Figures he would think that Zoro got lost when it was really-
"Mreow?"
Sanji's curly eyebrow cocked a little oddly at the cat. He took another drag on his cigarette as he looked between the feline and the flustered swordsman.
"New friend, eh? I told you to wash up after catching those fish."
"The damn thing keeps following me!" Zoro took a halfhearted kick at the thing, not really surprised when his foot didn't connect.
"Nimble thing, isn't it?"
"Shudup. Let's get back to the ship before the witch starts yelling at us or throwing stuff."
"Don't you dare insult Nami-swan!"
"Mew."
The chef smirked. "See? Even the cat agrees with me."
Zoro ignored the chef and the cat, and stormed off towards the Going Merry, intent on training and napping.
Sanji looked down at the cat for another moment, finishing his cigarette and tossing it to the ground before stomping it out with his shoe.
"You know, I think we do have a spot for you if you're interested," he smirked at the cat. "We need a cat to keep the rats down and out. And anything that annoys Marimo is welcome in my galley any time."
He wasn't all that surprised that the cat seemed to be smiling back at him.