CHAPTER ONE

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What do you do when a huge monster who is bigger than you, more powerful than you, and has a totally boss sword challenges you to a duel that will determine the fate of the world and means slow, agonizing death if you fail?

You beat the crap out of him, of course.

Of course, when he challenged me at first, I was thinking more like this:

Whatthe*beep*.

But now I'm in this weird cloudy place in the middle of nowhere, and he's lecturing me on what the heck he's going to do after I suffer a slow, painful death at his hand. So I decided to just suck it up and fight him. At first he was just going easy, so I was able to whack him a few times by tricking him into putting his guard the wrong way. Then he started going hard. I was hit a few times, but luckily, the chain mail I was wearing absorbed the first few hits, but his sword hurt. A lot.

The weird thing is, none of us talked for the entire battle.

Don't get me wrong, normally I would be wisecracking the entire time, but I guess we both figured that this battle was too important, so we both just shut up.

Now, as I was saying, he started to charge up his sword with these weird electric skyward strikes, which is unfair, because that's my trick, and he started shooting them at me. They were easy to dodge, but they were tiring me out, I needed to make a move fast, or I was toast. Goddess's chosen hero toast.

And that kind of toast tastes bad.

I eventually tried holding my sword in the air, just on a crazy hunch, and something happened that I did not expect. I felt a strong jerk, and I looked up to notice that my sword was charged with electricity. I shot a strike at Demise, and I guess that he isn't as agile as I am, so I didn't miss.

I took this as an opportunity, and I started hacking away at him while he was shocked. He was sent flying backwards, and I did a fatal blow.

As I was in the air, my sword charged up with electricity, and I shoved my sword as hard as I could into Demise's chest. He let out a small grunt, and said these words, which I will never forget.

"Your kind, the ones with the blood of the goddess and the spirit of the hero, shall forever be pursued by my hatred, forced to wander in a blood-soaked sea of darkness, forever. For my hatred never ends, and no matter what, I am always there."

So now those words are on a plaque in my bedroom, with the subtitles:

"Demise: Lord of Evil, right after I pwned him straight to hell."

Then he died, and his remains turned into ash and went straight into the Master Sword.