Hold On To Me
Zebraboymom
Disclaimer: No, they are not mine. Gosh darn it!
Author Notes: Post Episode for Pursuit. When Liv returns from Riker's Elliot is there. They both find someone to hold onto.
Olivia walked into the darkened precinct. It was late. The ride back from Riker's had worn her down. She was glad the squad room was empty. That's how she felt right now.
She sat down heavily at her desk and thought about Sonya. She died in a bathroom at an AA meeting where she was just trying to get her life back together. Even in death she tried to nail the bad guy. Olivia hoped she knew they got him. She felt herself shaking with the knowledge that it could have just as easily been her in that bathroom. She dropped her head on her arms and wept. She gave into the grief then. She wasn't just crying for Sonya. She was crying for every victim they had ever encountered as a team. She cried for herself and the loneliness she felt above everything else. It was just too much. It was too hard. She startled when she felt a strong hand resting on her shoulder. Elliot. She knew his touch immediately. His voice was full of emotion.
"Rough day."
"You have no idea."
"I think I have some idea. It was rough for me too."
Olivia looked up over her shoulder into his blue eyes that were brimming with tears as well. She turned and stood up falling into his open arms and they cried together. It was a moment she had known would come for twelve years. It was the moment when they both finally broke down. In the past one or the other of them was always there to pull the other one back. This time it was different. Elliot finally spoke. His voice was husky with emotion.
"All I could think about was getting back here to you. I heard the call that Sonya was killed and all I could think about was seeing your face and knowing you were okay. I felt like my heart was going to rip out of my chest. I thought about what it would be like if something happened to you."
He pulled back and cradled Olivia's face in his hands.
"You are everything Liv. You are the one constant in my life that I hold onto. I missed you so much at Quantico. Every night the only thing I thought about was how much I wanted to see you again."
"I missed you too, El. Fin is a great guy, but he's not you. You're my other half. All I could think about when I found Sonya was I need Elliot. I want Elliot there to hold on to. Then I came out into that hallway and you were really there. It made me realize some things El. I…"
"I know. Me too. I've been thinking about this ever since you lost Calvin. It's been eating me up to watch you go home every night alone. I go home to a house full of noise and people, but it isn't home for me Liv. You are. Kathy and I talked several weeks before I left for Quantico and she wanted to call it quits. I did too. She's wanted to start seeing someone from work. He asked her out and that was all it took for her to pull out the divorce papers. They were signed and handed off to our lawyer. It takes about two months usually when it's uncontested, but judge Donnelly made an exception and the divorce was final while I was at Quantico. All the way here I had to control myself. I wanted to speed and get here as fast as I could. All I could think about was getting back to you, coming home to you, and telling you that I love you. I love you Liv and I want to be with you as a partner, but also as someone who loves you…who is in love with you."
Olivia just stared into his eyes. She was frozen in place. This was not what she had expected tonight, not ever. She was speechless. Her lips wouldn't work. Her mouth couldn't form words. She just nodded her head and tried not to cry more.
Elliot held her face gently in his hands as he kissed her forehead and then her cheeks and then placed his lips on hers. This was it. This was the kiss they had both dreamed about. They tumbled head over heels into that kiss. It took on a life of it's own. Liv felt herself swaying in El's arms. She opened her mouth to him and twelve years of anguish melted away. They stayed in that embrace for a long time, just making that final connection they were never able to make before. They were finally connected in every way that mattered. Finally in need of air, Liv dropped her head to his chest and he stroked her hair.
"Is this real?"
"I know. It's sort of surreal, don't you think?"
"I never in a million years thought things would change like this. This is going to take some getting used to."
"Does that mean I can kiss you again?"
"…and again and again and don't ever stop."
Elliot slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He caressed her cheek with his other hand.
"I love you."
"El you have no idea how much I love you. Let's get out of here. I want to take you home with me."
They grabbed their coats and slipped them on. Elliot held out his hand to Olivia and she looked at it and then up into his gorgeous eyes and dimpled smile. She slipped hers into his. What a new and delightful thing it was to just hold his hand. The intimacy of it wasn't lost on either of them. They were down the elevator, in his car and climbing the stairs to her place in minutes. Once inside he took her coat and his and hung them both up. He turned and looked into her eyes. What he found there made his heart speed up.
"Now what?"
Liv slipped her arms around him and nestled her face into his neck.
"Just hold on to me, Elliot. Just hold on."
"Forever, Liv."