Please be nice you guys...this was my absolute first attempt at writing any kind of smut! tell me what you think! :)
Neither of us would get a wink of sleep that night, we had known it from the start. Not even the slightest attempt was made, no eyes were closed, no goodnights said.
Getting into bed was just a formality, turning out the light and pulling back the sheets a mere tradition. There was no real reason for any of it, no benefit whatsoever that could be gotten from it. It was nothing more than a senseless charade, our useless last try at convincing ourselves that tonight would be just like any other when, in reality, it was brutally obvious that it would be, if anything, the furthest thing from it.
I decided to take the first step, however small it may have been, hooking my leg casually over his, pushing up the leg of his boxers until it was skin against skin, my ankle against his thigh. I raised an eyebrow at him, as if daring him, challenging him to do something about it.
He sat up where he was, and I watched a small, slow smile make its way across his face as he ran his hand along my calf, working his way slowly up. He stopped to stroke the inside of my thigh, his thumb tracing over the same imaginary circle again and again.
A small laugh escaped me as I brought my hand up to rest at his chest. No. It wasn't enough, it was too small of a leap, too close to what he was used to. We had been here too many times before, he was still very much in his comfort zone. We would get nowhere if we continued on like this, I knew that more than anything else.
I moved carefully to his lap, settling myself slowly over him, giving him a bit of time to adjust. He blew out a breath as I wrapped my arms around his neck, watched me intently as I leaned closer to him, pressing my lips gently against the soft skin of his neck before stopping to whisper in his ear, "Your turn, Connor." It was easy to think of it as a game of sorts, with each of us taking little steps, baby steps, until one of us finally got to take the other, until we arrived at the one thing that we both so desperately wanted.
He moved his hand to the side of my face, cupping my cheek, his palm rough against my skin, before putting his lips softly over mine, the action slow and unsure, an experiment in itself.
It always started out like this, small, tentative kisses, closed-mouthed and timid, as he waited patiently for my green light, that one thing that would let him know that I wanted this just as much as he did.
We allowed the kiss to grow gradually deeper, the both of us getting more and more into it as time went on. Connor held me tightly against him, making sure not to leave the slightest bit of space between us, the fingers of one hand tangled in my hair, the other moving down to my bum to support me, squeezing me gently into his palm.
I gave a little laugh in response, pulling away from him to bury my head in his shoulder, running a hand lightly over the top of his bare back, his skin hot to the touch, before finally stopping at the back of his neck, playing with the longer pieces of his hair, twirling them around and around my finger.
He leaned slowly back against the headboard, taking a deep, as if preparatory, breath as he opened his eyes to look at me. I offered him a small smile of encouragement before moving to plant a long line of kisses down the side of his neck.
He grew tense under me, holding his breath as I worked my way slowly down his body, over his chest and stomach, stopping at the top of his boxers. I carefully folded down the waistband, just once, trying studiously to ignore the fact that he was already hard underneath that one thin layer of cotton.
I brought myself back up to face him, meeting my eyes with his, in search of some sign as to what he was thinking, some dominant expression for me to go by. His eyes were wide with fear, bright with pure astonishment, but there was a flash of excitement in them as well, the slightest spark of sheer hopefulness. He had the distinct look of a little boy lost, so scared but still utterly amazed at what the world could bring him.
He took a deep breath, as if preparing for what he was going to have to ask me. "We're really going to do this, aren't we, Abby?" His whole question came out as one breath, soft and airy, just loud enough for me to hear, the words themselves rough and jagged, sounding unbelievably forced under the circumstances.
I stayed quiet, giving him an understanding smile as I stroked his cheek, looking for a way to answer him. It was so easy to hurt him, there were far too many things he could take the wrong way. I would have to be careful regardless of what I decided to say, would have to watch my words no matter what. We had come far too close, I couldn't put my foot in it now.
"Only-" No. I couldn't say that. "We don't-" Not that either. "Not if you don't want to, Connor," I told him finally, nodding as if to show him that I meant it, to try and convince him and, even more likely, myself, that his decision wouldn't matter one way or another to me, wouldn't make any difference whatsoever. "Okay?"
There was a moment of desperation on my part as I watched him intently, waiting for some kind of answer, any kind of response to what I had just said, and it was in this split second that I was hit with the full realization that I needed him, needed this, ached for the very thing that depended so greatly on Connor's answer, no matter the outcome.
I watched as he shook his head, the action small but sure, slowly bringing his eyes back up to mine. He swallowed hard, as if thinking of the right words to say, taking all of the necessary precautions he had to before saying finally, in a hoarse whisper, "I want to." He searched my face for a reaction, his eyes darting nervously back and forth across each of my features. "God, I want to."
I made no attempt at hiding my smile from him, put absolutely no effort into muffling the small laugh of relief that escaped me as I traced my fingertips lightly over his chest, taking the time to memorize every curve, every crease that could be found. "I was so hoping you'd say that," I told him quietly, almost to where it was a whisper, before leaning closer to kiss him again.
His lips were eager and all too willing under mine, the kiss itself more powerful, more rushed than before, raw and open-mouthed, his tongue dipping fervently into my mouth. He slipped his hands under my shirt as we kissed, his rough hands serving in stark contrast to the softness of my skin, inching it slowly up until the point where I had to help him by pulling it up over my head, leaving it where it fell at the edge of the bed.
A half grin spread slowly over his face as he watched me, his lips forming my name even though no sound managed to come out. "That better?" I asked quietly as I moved even closer to him, pressing myself up against him, our bodies unnaturally warm against one another. I could feel his hardness pushing up against me, accomplishing absolutely nothing except for turning me on even more than I already was.
He stroked my back gently, running his fingertips along my spine, his touch light enough to send a welcome chill through me, before stopping at my bra strap, not showing the least bit of timidity as he undid the clasp in one swift motion. He watched for a moment as the straps fell slowly over my shoulders before slipping them down the rest of the way, leaving my bra to get lost somewhere in the bed sheets.
I laughed into his ear, pressing my lips against his shoulder, softly, so as not to leave any sort of mark, after all, we were going to have to go to work in the morning. I shifted myself so that I was at his side, kissing him once more, giving him that one last vote of confidence in case he might still need it, that one last action of encouragement, just to be safe.
He moved on top of me, his lips making their way hungrily to my neck, putting soft kisses all along my skin, his mouth coming up occasionally to gently nibble on my earlobe. I heard myself utter a low moan as he pushed aside the thin fabric of my underwear, dipping a finger into me, probing me deeper and deeper as I rocked myself against him. He took out his one finger and replaced it with two, stroking me steadily, not showing the slightest sign of tiredness as he continued on. Soon he had me trembling against him, letting out a soft series of moans, the last of them on the verge of being whimpers, my fingernails digging hard into the skin of his back as I came.
"Connor, please…" I told him quietly, desperately, taking hold of his face and bringing my lips sloppily to his, silently pleading with him, something I could scarcely believe of myself. I'd never known myself to beg for any man before, couldn't even remember ever wanting any man this much before. I was still spiraling down from the last orgasm he'd given me, and I found myself really wanting more.
"Okay," he said gently, as if I were some small child who wanted to be read a bedtime story, kissing my hair as he moved his hands slowly back up to my hips. "Alright." He slipped his fingers down under the waistband of my underwear, finally taking the time to ease them slowly down. I watched him as he got up tentatively, standing by the edge of the bed as he slowly removed his boxers, all too aware of my eyes on him, looking appreciatively over his body as he stood naked in front of me.
He took a step closer, and I pulled him back down on top of me, slinging my arms over his shoulders, the gap between us quickly filling itself as he wrapped his arms around my waist, curving my body to his. I wrapped a leg around him, giving a small laugh as he freed a hand to hold it tightly against him, raising my leg to put a long line of kisses all the way up and down it.
I heard myself let out a small gasp of surprise as he pushed himself deep into me. He was a lot bigger than I'd ever have thought, far from what anyone would call small or even average, and at once I could feel him stretching me, not leaving a single inch of me unfilled, fitting me perfectly.
He started to move slowly in and out of me, surprising me once again by just how good he was, amazing me with the sheer amount of effort he seemed to be putting into it. I'd gotten him to admit to me before, rather bashfully, to never having had sex with anyone, but the amount of faith I held in his words quickly crumbled as time went on. He seemed to know exactly what to do to me, and was a hell of a lot more attentive than any of my previous lovers had been. He kept up a steady, unfaltering pace, and, in a few mere seconds, a second wave of pleasure was rolling over me, my toes curling against him as I ran my tongue ravenously along the skin of his shoulder, finding myself loving the taste of him.
"Connor," I rasped his name breathlessly into his ear, the absolute most I could muster given the circumstances, keeping a keen eye on him as he lowered his head to press his lips to my breast, my head tilting back in pleasure as he ran his tongue across my skin, never once losing the rhythm he was so effortlessly keeping. God, I could get used to this. In the mornings to wake me up, when we went to bed to make sure I got a good night's sleep, maybe we could even fit in a few quickies at work…the possibilities were endless, and, in a word, were utterly fascinating.
Having sex with Connor had always been an option for me, had always been there in the back of my mind, just sitting there waiting patiently for me to return my thoughts to, but never until now had it taken such precedence, never had it been so paramount. But, then again, I'd also never thought that it would be like this, never imagined it as being anywhere close to this.
My whole body quivered under his touch, every part of me waiting only on his next deep thrust. I couldn't believe the things he was doing to me, knew I would never be able to get over the way he was making me feel, every inch of me going frantically from hot to cold, my heartbeat reverberating through all of my body like a drum, all the way down to my fingertips, as he managed to bring me over the edge again and again.
No. I'd never even dreamed that it would be like this.
I noticed as his pace became increasingly erratic, his breath coming out hard, rushed, against my neck. I ran my fingers softly, encouragingly, through his hair, pressing my lips softly against his, all too aware of what was coming, trying my hardest to ease him toward his much deserved release. In no more than a few seconds, he was exploding into me, his head slumping against my shoulder as he finally came with a loud groan. He took a moment to rest, breathing slowly into my neck, both of our bodies covered with a slick layer of sweat as we simply lay with one another.
It was a long moment before he put a hand on the headboard behind me for support as he pulled himself back out of me, causing me to whimper as the largest part of him passed through me once again. He immediately collapsed at my side, completely and utterly exhausted, not an ounce of strength left in him. "So," he managed to say, that one word sounding almost accidental as he let out a deep breath. "Does this mean I won?"
And, for probably the first time I could remember, I had no idea of the right thing to say back to him. To the two of us, as well as anyone else who took the time to delve into it, it was plain to see that our little game truly was finally over. After I'd had to start it, he'd finished it. After skipping out on so many of the turns I'd given him, he'd ultimately been the one to put an end to all this. Technically, that would mean he was right, that he had indeed won. But that was only technically, wasn't it? And besides, one couldn't help but have to ask herself, who would truly be the winner here, when we were both so proudly receiving the grand prize?
I gave a small, warm laugh as I turned to face him, resting my chin on his chest to look at him, my fingers toying restlessly with the small chain that had always hung around his neck, as long as I'd known him, running my fingers slowly over the cold, worn metal. "No," I answered him finally, a smile breaking out over my face as I watched that familiar puzzled look pass over him. "It means I let you win."
"Mmmmm." I felt his chest rise and then fall back down under me as he let out a long resigned sigh. He put his arm gingerly around me, keeping a hand on the small of my back as he held me, his thumb stroking lightly back and forth over my skin. "And what does that mean for me?" He laughed gently, the slightest hint of nervousness just barely starting to break through, his brown eyes gazing expectantly back into mine, already starting to lull me into that sort of submissive contentment that I always seemed to fall under whenever he was around me.
I snuggled deeper into his arms, tracing my fingers over his chest and stomach, working my way slowly down to the hardness that I had noticed was already starting to develop under me. "Well…" I brought my lips slowly to his for a long, somewhat languid kiss, waiting by his ear for a moment before, finally, I decided to answer him. "It means you'd better get ready for a rematch."
THE END
So...how was it? :D Remember, be nice, but don't be afraid to tell me how to improve though! :)