Epic Rap Battles of the Imperium

Farseer Idranel

Versus

Force Commander Aramus

Begin!

Force Commander Aramus:

Yo, they call me the Force Commander, and now look who I see before me,

A Xeno bitch seeking to restore her people back to their former glory.

Your plans are a shamble, with unnecessary complications.

How the hell did you plan to stop the Tyranids, by blowing up the whole of Meridian?

Man, I can barely tell if you're a woman you're so flat chested,

Even I can't think of a man who would want to tap that ass!

Or is that the reason why you're so mad at humanity,

Cus even the followers of Slaanesh won't bring you to a calamity!

Farseer Idranel:

Through the Strands of time I see,

A jackass with a hairdo that was out by the 93,

I've seen the stars themselves grow old and die,

You've barely seen one pathetic mon-keigh lifetime.

Hell, you don't even wear a helmet,

Do you plan to stop bullets with your face?

When the Eldar finally take over, and humanity is at our feet,

You'd better start running, or I'll see to it that you'll become my bitch.

Force Commander Aramus:

My hair is so strong, that it tanks bullets by itself,

And it takes but one human lifetime to know that the Eldar are fucked by themselves.

You can send your armies, but you can never defeat me!

Your tanks are made of cardboard, and I'll crush them with ease,

I've destroyed greater demons; do you think the Avatar is a match for me?

Your people better retreat to their craftworlds,

Because the Commander's here to stay!

Farseer Idranel:

My race is far more powerful than you think,

It's arrogance like yours that's left your race in the sink.

My race lives for millennia; to us you barely exist,

Compared to me, you have the experience of a kid,

You've killed demons, I've destroyed worlds!

I'll stick my spear up your ass, and blast you into blast you into the eye of Terror,

We'll see how well your hair blocks blows from the chosen of Khorne and all his greater demons.

When the forces of darkness sweeps in like a flood,

I'm the light that shines; you're just a stick in the mud!

Who won?