Description: This story takes place after "Family."

Tony realizes that he can't be without Jeanne and decides to find her. What happens when he does find her and they come face to face for the first time since she left? Will she forgive him or will he return home to seek comfort in his partner, Ziva?

(For the record, I've been writing lately while half asleep so please don't hold it against me lol R+R please)

It's been a few weeks since she's been gone and I don't know what to do. All I do is go to work and go home to eat old left over take out. I knew I wasn't supposed to fall for her, I tried my best not to, but I couldn't help it. She was so beautiful, smart, witty, sweet, I fell for everything about her. I keep thinking about the letter she left me the night she left. Her words keep replaying in my head over and over again, telling me to choose. I keep going back to the moment I put the letter in the fire and I feel regret. I shouldn't have let her go that easily. I shouldn't have given up so soon.

I abruptly stood up and grabbed my bag. I could feel the team staring at me as I made my way to the elevator, then I heard Gibbs call out to me. "DiNozzo." he walked up and stood next to me. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I have something to do, Boss." I swallowed hard as I kept my eyes on the elevator doors and watched the numbers go up to reach the floor.

"Yeah, it's called work, DiNozzo."

I turned to face him and took a deep breath. "…I have to get her back, Boss."

He stared me down until the elevator doors opened. He took a step back, walked back over to his desk without saying a word and left me standing there confused. Turning around and looking at me, Gibbs took a sip of his coffee and half smirked. "What the hell are you still doing here?"

"Thanks, Boss!" I smiled then ran into the elevator and watched the doors close as Ziva looked at me with saddened eyes. Deep down I knew that she had probably had some feelings, I knew because I used to have some feelings too, before Jeanne that is.

The minute I got to my apartment and swiftly started packing, I realized that I had no idea where to begin to look for Jeanne. I grabbed my cell and called McGee to see if he could help me out with this.

"Special Agent McGee."

"McGee, I need you to check where Jeanne is for me. Cell phone, Credit cards, anything that can tell me where she could be right now."

"So that's why you were off in a hurry." I could hear the smirk on his face when he said that.

"Now, McGee!"

"I'm checking now, Tony, give me a minute." he told me as I heard him typing away at this keyboard. "She hasn't used anything since the day after everything happened, but looking back on her phone records, her last call was to a Helen Berkley."

"That's her mother…go through her mothers call records and see if you can find anything that sticks out. Call me back when you get something."

"Sure, Tony." he said just before I hung up to finish packing. He called back about fifteen minutes later and I could pick up the excitement in his voice. "I think I found her, Tony. Her mother has been receiving calls at least once a day from a location in…Lambarene."

"Lambarene?"

"Lambarene is in Gabon, Tony."

I didn't say anything.

McGee let out a sigh. "Gabon is in Africa, Tony."

I stood still for a minute and let what McGee just said sink in. "Africa? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, Tony, Africa. It looks like she works at a Hospital there. I pulled up a log of the doctors there and here she is, Jeanne Benoit."

"Thanks, Tim. I owe you one. Email me all the hospital info."

My bag was packed, I grabbed my passport, I called the airline and booked a flight. I was ready to fly all the way to Africa to get the woman I love. As I walked up to the door and turned the door knob, I froze. I slowly let go of the knob, put my bag down on the floor and my passport in my back pocket. I had about two hours before my flight so I had some time to think this through. Various possibilities popped into my head of what could happen if I just showed up there. The majority of those various possibilities weren't good. I was getting nervous and started to feel sick.

Come on, Anthony, you love her. You're going to fly to Africa and you're going to get her back. I tried to convince myself, but it didn't seem to work. I picked up my cell phone and called the one person I knew that would talk some sense into me.

"Tony! McGee told me you were going to Africa to get Jeanne back! That's so romantic!" she shouted as her music blared in the background.

I couldn't help but smile hearing Abby's voice. "Yeah, Abs, I was."

"Was? What do you mean was? Where are you?"

"I'm back at my apartment. The flight isn't for another two hours. As soon as I was making my way out the door, I stopped. I don't think I can do this, Abby." I told her as I let out a sigh.

Out of no where her music stopped and I swallowed hard preparing for an Abby lecture. "Anthony DiNozzo." she stated in a serious tone. "You have been moping around this place for the last few weeks! You barely have actual conversations, smile, argue with McGee. You're a mess without her, Tony. You know it, we know it."

"I haven't been that-" I began to say until she cut me off.

"You've been terrible."

"That bad?"

"That bad." we both stayed silent then she began to speak. "Look, you let her go once and look what happened to you. Not many people get to, but you have a second chance to make things right, Tony. If you love her, don't let nerves and some fear get in the way of that."

I took a deep breath and exhaled as I came to a decision. "You're right, Abby. I love her. A lot. And I don't want to live without her. I'm going to get her."

"Go get her, Tony!" she shouted as she turned her music back on.

"Thanks, Abby. You know you'll always be my favorite right?"

"And you'll always be my favorite, too, but don't tell Gibbs or McGee. They think they're the favorites."

I let out a laugh. "I won't tell them. See you when I get back."

"Have a safe trip! And good luck!"

"Thanks…I'm going to need it."

After hanging up, I walked back over to my bag, picked it up and walked out the door. Of course I was still nervous thinking about what she would say the minute she sees me or what I would say the minute I'm face to face with her, but I have time to think about that on the plane.

After two stops and twenty seven hours later, I was exhausted, jet lagged and now even more nervous than ever. I grabbed a taxi and gave them the address McGee sent to my email. Forty five minutes and a canoe ride later, I was standing in front of the hospital. I took a deep breath and walked in to begin to my search for Jeanne.

I went around showing her picture hoping someone would tell me where she was, but no one had seen her. A half an hour of looking and with no luck, I was beginning to think McGee was wrong and that I would have to kill him if I came all the way here for nothing. I decided to ask one more person and luckily he was an American.

"Excuse me. Could you help me find this woman?" I asked as I handed him the picture. "Her name is-"

"Ah. Ms. Benoit." he cut me off. "She's actually out in one of the villages right now, but should be back in a couple hours. Is there anything I can help you with?"

My heart began to race and I just shook my head. "No, thanks. I'll just wait here for her." Then it came to me, I was on a plane for twenty seven hours. I need a shower, I probably look and smell horrible right now. "Actually, I could really use the restroom."

"Sure. It's just go all the way down that way and to the left."

"Thank you." I nodded as I made my way to the bathroom.

Of course this was a drastic change of scenery. It wasn't really a hospital like they have in the states, but more like the show M*A*S*H, except with less tents and smaller Quonset huts. Luckily for the patients, the rooms I passed as I walked down the large area were separated by actual walls instead of sheets so they had more privacy.

I made my way into the 3x3 area that they called the bathroom. There was no shower, so I used the sink to freshen up. As I brushed my teeth, washed my pits and got new clothes on, I was still trying to figure out what I was going to say to her, but I came up with nothing.

Jeanne, I don't know what to- "no… no." I know that I messed-"fuck. How do I do this?" I said to myself as I took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom.

I walked out and sat down at the bench just outside the hospital with my bag next to me. Every twenty minutes I kept checking my watch and I waited for her. Twenty minutes turned into an hour, and hour turned into two, two turned into four. I was going crazy wondering when she was coming back and if she would be arriving.

Waiting all that time, I decided to leave and come back the next day. I needed sleep and more time to think about what I was going to say. I walked down the path to catch my canoe ride when one just arrived. I looked around and waited for those who were on the canoe to get off so I could get on, until the last person got off and froze next to me.

"T-Tony?" the familiar voice hesitated.

I looked up and felt my heart sink down to the bottom of my stomach as I saw those familiar blue eyes looking at me with hurt and confusion. "Jeanne…"