Jobs that the people from Lord of the Rings would most certainly hate

(Speaking in totally phony British accent) Hello and welcome to this newly discovered and highly disturbing documentary of Jobs that the people from Lord of the Rings would most certainly hate.

Brought to you today by the letter 9 and Cheesy's random brain that does not know the difference between a letter and a number.

So sit back and enjoy this new random insanity with no real purpose except for bizarre entertainment of people that have nothing better to do.

This documentary contains some disturbing images so viewer discretion is advised.

Thank-you…

OoooO

Firstly we shall join Aragorn who, after being denounce of his kingship for his involvement in the great toaster heist, needed to find a job and picked one that was totally wrong for him.

So today we shall see how Aragorn handles his new job as an employee at the mall in the store of Victoria's Secrets…

Aragorn sighed and placed another customers stuff in a frilly pink bag. The girl took her bag from him and smiled cutely. Aragorn gave her one of those 'I really don't want to be here right now' looks.

Was being so close to the camping store really worth this? Was it? Aragorn wasn't sure anymore. After his long brutal shift at Victoria's Secrets, the store filled with smelly perfume, skimpy PINK underwear and all around pink girly-ness, he was really beginning to have doubts.

The only reason why he took the stupid job at the bra store was because the previously mentioned camping store was right next to it. WHY Aragorn just didn't get a job at the camping store the world may never know. Aragorn growled and pulled at the pink uniform that they made all of their employees wear, complete with pink hat and matching purse and shoes and even…pink nail polish.

They had basically told him that EVERYTHING about his outfit needed to be pink.

Another woman came up to him and held out a bra, "I'm ready to buy this now."

WAS the camping store worth this?

Aragorn sighed and tried to scan the bra, but it wouldn't work. He had to announce it over the intercom and his manager came over. She said she would handle the problem, and told him to go arrange the new sale sign displays in the front window. Aragorn groaned and stalked over to the FRONT WINDOW out in the open where EVERYONE what sure to see him, a GUY working in a BRA store.

He started putting up the display of the underwear model when he heard a familiar voice.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I did not steal your curtains from you room and use the to clog the toilet! I don't know why u keep accusing me of such horrible things!"

Who else could that be but Legolas talking to his evil keeper Cheesy on the cell phone?

Aragorn quickly ducked behind the signs but they were just a little bit to small to completely hide him and the top of his head poked out.

"NO CHEESY! I'm not going to buy you stuff! What do I look like a slave!…What? No! Well duh I'm at the mall! Gosh! HUH? What did you say to me! No, why…I don't know…yes, I am making a scene…OH SHUT UP! Onion spice to you too!"

He had stopped right in front of the store and was chatting away. Then he just so happened to glance over and see Aragorn peeking out from behind a sign. Legolas raised an eyebrow and hung up on Cheesy, he walked over to the store and tapped on the glass.

"Aragorn!" He said, "What are you doing in THAT store?"

Aragorn slowly stood up revealing his employee nametag. Legolas laughed hysterically and pointed.

"You…you w…work HERE? AHAHHAHAH!"

Aragorn shushed him and dragged him inside.

"For your information I do! And its only because I want to be close to the camping store." Aragorn replied

"But HERE?" Legolas exclaimed, "Look around Aragorn! Its PINK! And Girly!"

"Humph! I'm surprised you don't like it Legolas."

"What's THAT suppose to mean Aragorn?"

"Oh nothing, nothing, How could you ever think that I was implying something. You only like to write in a PINK DIARY!" Aragorn yelled making sure everyone in the store heard him

"Shut up!" Legolas mumbled and threw a bra at Aragorn's head slingshot style, "I'm not the one that carries around a PET TELEPHONE!"

"Yoooooooouuuuu…you're pure evil! You swore you would never again mention Phony-poo-poo Princess Puff!" Aragorn hissed and threw underwear back at him

"Yeah, all words that go with pink!" Legolas replied, "And would you stop throwing underwear at me!"

Legolas picked up some frilly panties and prepared to throw them at Aragorn.

"Look mommy," said a little kid passing by with their mother, "Those scary men are playing with underwear!"

"Yes Billy, they are bad men. You should never talk to people like that okay?"

"Yes mommy."

Legolas heard this and frowned, "Okay, that's it. I'm out of here."

Then he stalked off leaving Aragorn all alone to the horrors of the pinkness.

"Hey! Come back Legolas what am I suppose to do all alone in here?" Aragorn yelled and followed him out of the store

Legolas ignored him and for some reason people were staring. Why wouldn't they? A freaky man wearing pink just came out of a bra store.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" he said and grabbed Legolas' arm

Legolas turned around slowly and did his best to look surprised, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't believe I know you."

"What! Come on Legolas!" Aragorn said

"I'm sorry sir, I think you have the wrong person. Now please, I need to go back to work."

"LEGOLAS! STOP IT!"

"I'm not Legolas! I told you! I don't know you! You must have me confused with someone else! Now leave me alone!"

"Oh no! I'm not leaving till you admit you know me! Dude, I thought you were better than this and would support me in my darkest hour! We have known each other since before we could walk!"

"NO WE HAVENT! WHO ARE YOU! STALKER!"

"LEGOLAS! STOP IT! YOU ARE MAKING ME UPSET!"

"Um…Aragorn?"

Aragorn turned around and saw another Legolas behind him. The real Legolas he was looking for. He was holding Cheesy's cell phone and a strawberry-pineapple smoothie. Yes, THIS was real Legolas.

Aragorn looked back at the other guy and realized it was not Legolas…

There was an awkward silence in which the other guy walked away…err, okay RAN away as fast as he possibly could, fearing for his life against the 'evil stalker'.

"Um, I think im going to go now!" the real Legolas said and also ran off

Aragorn sighed and slowly walked back in Victoria's secretes with half the people in the mall staring that him.

"Excuse me, you have this in a smaller size?" a woman asked and held out a pair of underwear

Aragorn decided the camping store was SO not worth it.

OooO

Heh, so what do you think? Like, hate? Let me know! And tell me if you have any ideas of who else should get a horrible job that is totally wrong for them!

Short stories are so fun.