A Look Inside Her Mind
I'm not a monster. I'm not. I'm confused. What's right? Is it what Aro says, or what my heart says? I'm very confused. But anytime I try to go out into the real world, Aro convinces me to stay. I never talk about this to anyone, not even Alec. And I tell him everything. But I'm scared. What if he gets mad? What if Aro hurts me? What if Aro hurts him? I'm not a fool; I know what happened to Didyme. I don't want to have that happen to me, or worse. My brother. He's truly the only person I live for. I'm not in the service of Aro. I'm simply protecting my brother.
Sometimes, I wonder if my brother even sees the same things I do. He's always so distant…not emotionless like Marcus, but distant. The only time he isn't so distant is when he's with me. I want to know what's wrong with my brother. Though I always seem so tough, I miss my mother. I miss having someone holding me, softly brushing me hair, telling me everything will be alright.
Sometimes, I wish I could run away to the Cullen's. They always seem so happy. And now, they have a child! They have love, children, money…but most importantly love. They have everything, and they appreciate it. They have a bunch of people that comfort them. They would welcome me, I'm sure. Sure, they might be a bit hesitant at first, that's understandable. But I'm sure they would some treat me as part of their happy family. I can picture it: Alec and I, in a big living room with walls of glass, playing with little Renesmee. Hunting with that big one, Emmett. Rosalie, the pretty one that reminds me of my mother, softly brushing my hair. Playing chess with the mind-reader, Edward.
Such a pretty image. But I'm sure I will get Aro mad with that thought. But I can't hide it. I can't hide anything from him!
A door opens and Alec comes into our room.
"Jane, why are you packing?" he asks, his voice seeping of concern.
"I'm leaving", I whisper.