The Luckiest Man in the World
There were some days when he woke up feeling like the luckiest man in the world.
He would see Lily, his Lily lying beside him her red hair fanned around her. They had a bond, a love that some would go lifetimes looking for; he hadn't won her love that easily. There had been many rejections, slaps, and even a hex (or ten) but he had got her in the end. And he had fallen harder than he could ever imagined; even in those early days of his pursual he had never thought that Lily Evans would become so essential for his survival- without her he was nothing.
And he was lucky enough to have her as his wife. To wake up in the morning and see her before anything else, to fall asleep with her cradled within his arms and he was lucky enough to have the most beautiful, most loved, most special baby with her.
A baby who made their lives all that more amazing, who gave them light and hope and happiness… Whose mere smile could take away any sorrow, whose first word, first step was to him the same as some life altering, universal event: he wanted to go outside and tell the world, he wanted to hold up his baby boy, his pride and joy and show him to the world.
He wanted everybody to see just how special Harry Potter was.
And most of all he wanted to watch Harry grow up, wanted to watch with fascination and love every second of his sons life. And he could. He didn't have to go out to work, couldn't even if he had wanted to. Harry never had to go somewhere with Lily, all those mother and child meetings where fathers like him were (quite unfairly) not allowed to go. He had the chance to stay at home and create some of the most beautiful memories with his wife and child; days spent playing out in the garden, having Lily curled up beside him on the sofa, watching Harry fly…
So he was lucky, the luckiest man in the world, because how many other fathers got to watch every second of their Childs life with no commitments, no limitation in time.
And he was lucky because he had had one of the happiest lives anybody could have had; he had had a brilliant father, who had taught to value friends and love, who he had looked up to and who had never let him feel the lack of anything. He had had a mother who had doted on him, showered him with love and to make up for the loneliness that being an only child could bring for such a hyper child she had become his friend. Taught him her own tricks. They would become his trademark pranks.
He had grown up in a house that was filled with anything one could want and his life? His life was filled with even more; wealth, popularity, laughter and more than that? friends. The best friends anybody could wish for.
Peter Pettergrew; underestimated, and a tad slow but also one of the greatest friends he had; with an eye for a detail in every prank and a knack of getting them out of tight situations.
Remus Lupin; smart, kind, supportive and always there. Never failing to give the help, the guidance needed, a friend in the truest sense who had never, not once let him down.
And then Sirius Black the one that had been with him through everything; first detentions, first smokes, they had made all the wrong and (some) right decisions together. They were brothers, two halves of the same person, they each had the others back through thick and thin and so of course he thought he was lucky because for Merlin's sake he had someone who would do anything to keep him and his family safe.
And together with Peter Pettergrew, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black he James Potter became something else entirely. They were the Marauders; the kings of the world; infallible, unbeatable, invincible. The kings of comedy, the kings of laughter and fun and happiness and that, that was something nobody could ever take away. They would never fail each other, never lose that bond, and never stop being Marauders…
Some days James Potter woke up and felt like the luckiest man in the world.
Other days he felt the most unlucky.
He would wake up and see his wife, his beautiful wife and he would see her face with lines of worry and pain that someone her age should never have had. He would think about how she was targeted for her blood, how he could lose her in an instant, he would think about how their wedding had had to be small and rushed, how the dinner afterwards was abruptly stopped by cries of pain seeping in from the streets, how he couldn't help her fulfil her dreams, let her travel, work, livebecause the world was after her, after them. He thought about how a death eater loved her.
He would look at his beloved son; so special, so amazing and he would wonder if god was just being funny, playing with him, just letting him have all the time in the world with his son before one day snatching him away.
Was this what he got for tempting fate so many times, for running so close to the edge, was he being allowed temporary bliss only because something much worse was on its way? It kept him up every night, meant every second with his son was tinted with worry, with the thought is this the last day I have with him?
He didn't want the world to know the name Harry Potter because of death.
And he didn't want Harry to grow up surrounded by four walls; he wanted to take his son to the park, let him play with other children, he wanted to hold his wifes hand as they walked down the street, he wanted to meet up with his friends; head out and cause as much ruckus as he could.
He wanted to go out and work and do everything humanly possible to make sure his family was safe. He wanted to fight for them, to do anything but feel stuck in useless exile.
He wished every morning before he opened his eyes that his parents were still alive. He would crave his father's guidance, his laughter, his mother's warmth. He wished that there was a way to bring them back. He wished that they had seen their grandson, that maybe he could go back and make more time for them. He thought that he would give all the wealth he had ever had just to have them back...
And yes he had his friends but he wished Peter would stop flinching on the very few times he came around, he wished he would write more and not stare at him with a look so different from the one he was used to. He thought it'd be nice if Peter could tell a joke the next time he came by. He never would.
He wished, he wished more than anything that Remus could stand in front of him and there would no doubts from Sirius or Peter lingering in the back of his mind, making him (against his better judgement) treat a brother, a fellow Marauder with suspicion.
He wished he didn't have to lie.
Wished that like all those years before he could look at Remus Lupin and only see a geeky, but funny friend without the shadow of a werewolf.
He thought it'd be nice to look at an old friend and not feel guilt or pity or pain…
And then there was Sirius - he wished he dropped in more, that they could sit and joke for hours with no care in the world, he wished that fiery determination would disappear from his friends eyes because it said I'll do anything to protect you and it scared him because he knew Sirius and Sirius was rash and fearless and a fool and he couldn't, wouldn't lose him.
And he hated that even though he was scared for Sirius, he envied him just as much. He wished he didn't feel that jealousy of not being able to fight, and he wished he didn't feel that flash of annoyance whenever Sirius said Stay put because he knew why he said it. He knew he cared.
That didn't make it any easier.
He thought it'd be nice to fight alongside him again, for them to win together (like they always did). To hear the familiar roar of; we did it Prongs!
He thought it'd be nice to see Sirius again- once again. Just in case.
There were some days James Potter woke up and felt like the luckiest man in the world. There were other days when he felt the most unlucky.
Every day, however he wished with all his might that he wasn't stuck in the middle of a war.
He thought it'd be nice to wake up one day and not fear for his life, or for the lives of those he loved.
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