Catman: The Awesomeness That Is Wayne

by Beloved Psychopath

Before there was Batman, there was Bruce Wayne... The grand adventures of Bruce (and Alfred ) on his path of legitimate heroism. "What do you think Alfred?" "That that's a far cry from the truth sir," Alfred replied,"And the use of 'legitimate' is downright suspicious."

1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This disclaimer is really bored of disclaiming. So it's going to slack off in the corner over there. I don't own Batman characters or the shadow organisation known as D.C.

May 24th xoxx

Bruce Wayne sat on his chair deep in thought. It was night now, and he waiting for a sign. Any sign, that will give him an idea as to how he can get away with breaking several severe human rights outside work using acts of violence. He already had a "reason" : fighting crime.

"How about a secret identity, sir?" Alfred suggested, placing down the pure silver tray carrying a $475 bottle of Dom Perignon, a stenciled swan patterned wine glass worth $6000 and a plate of sushi with wooden chopsticks on the coffee table by his high backed, soft leather chair. He then opened the bottle and poured the overpriced liquid into the Wayne family heirloom wine glass, filing it halfway before walking out of the room the same way he came in.

God I hate sushi, Bruce thought, bringing out a small bottle of barbecue sauce from his pocket, emptying the contents on his sushi before bringing out his trusty fork to eat them. Barbecue sauce, God's best gift to man. The holy liquid that showed cannibals how to make their mystery meat well loved by everyone else. Barbecue... Barbecue man! Barbecue dude? . Barbecued stake! Wayne Barbecue. Bar... The Kebab! Yes, that's it! The Kebab!

Bruce leaped to his feet.

"Alfred call the tailor! I need a kebab suit!"

"I'll have your psychologist on the phone, sir."

Author's notes: They lied to you! Sushi are made from human souls! Spread the word. Santa Claus.