Title: A Broken Wing
Author: Stephanie (The Wheatmeister)
Spoilers: Takes place sometime after 6 Days. Assume everything after that hasn't happened.
Pairing: Addison/Alex
Rating: This part is T, but it will become M before all is said and done.
Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue. PS—Shonda, I love you!!
Feedback: Always welcome, never demanded.
Dedication: To S.G. and D.L.—Two classy women who fought valiant, but losing battles with breast cancer. I miss you both.
"Morning, Miranda," Addison said, approaching her at the nurses' station.
Looking up from her charts, Miranda Bailey said, "Hey, Addison. You okay? You look a little stressed."
"Actually, I am. Can you…I need your opinion on something. Your medical opinion."
Looking suspiciously at her colleague, Bailey said, "You didn't sit in poison ivy again, did you?"
Laughing in spite of herself, Addison replied, "No. This is actually worse. I, uh, I found a lump this morning. In the shower. I was doing a self exam, and I found a lump."
Motioning down the hall, Bailey said, "Room 407 is empty. Change into a gown and I'll be there in a minute. First, I'm going to call radiology and see if they can get you in for a mammogram."
"Thank you, Miranda." Addison grabbed a hospital gown from the supply closet then went into the empty room to disrobe. Taking off her bra, she probed the outside of her left breast, finding the lump again with ease. Quickly putting the gown on, she sat on the bed, nervously tapping her fingers against the mattress.
There was a soft knock and Miranda slipped through the door. "Radiology can see you in 15 minutes. First, let me take a look. Which breast?"
"Left," Addison replied, slipping her left arm out of the gown, then raising it above her head. She felt Miranda's fingers gently palpate the area she had felt the lump in moments earlier.
"Right there," the resident mumbled, finding the lump. "It's pretty big. Was it there your last self exam?"
"No. That was about three weeks ago."
"Last mammogram?"
"Seven months ago. I've been getting them since I turned twenty."
Miranda looked up at her. "Family history?"
"Two aunts, my grandmother, and a cousin."
"Okay. Go get the mammogram, then try to get some work done. Around lunch time, meet me back here. I'll do a needle biopsy. Hopefully we'll know something by the end of the day. Right now, I need to figure out which doctors have to deal with my suck-ups."
"Can you send Karev my way? He's the most capable of handling things for me today."
"Sure thing. And Addison?" The red head looked up at her. "You'll get through this. Whatever it turns out being."
"Thanks, Miranda."
Five minutes later, Bailey stood before her interns. "Yang, O'Malley, with Dr. Shepard. Grey and Stevens, you're with Burke. Karev, Dr. Montgomery." As they all started walking away, she said, "Alex? Hang on a minute."
"Yeah?" he said.
"Go check on Dr, Montgomery's patients and be prepared to round with her in about 45 minutes. She had an appointment she needed to take care of this morning."
"Sure thing, Dr. Bailey."
"And Alex? She requested you. Said you were the most capable intern we have. I just thought you should know."
Smiling, he said, "Thanks, Dr. Bailey." He hurried up to the maternity ward and checked on the three expectant mothers on Addison's service. They were all doing well, so he went down a floor to the NICU to check out the preemies. That's where Addison found him half an hour later.
"Dr. Karev."
He turned when she called his name. He was struck by how tired she looked. "Dr. Montgomery. You okay?"
"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "I may need you to pick up some slack for me today."
"Yeah. Sure."
"So what do we have today?" she asked, snapping instantly into business mode. Not pushing the matter, Alex started reviewing her cases, offering observations about each patient and suggesting treatment options. Addison noted with some degree of pride that he was right on. Alex Karev really was turning into a fine doctor. They worked on charts most of the morning, catching up from the two weeks prior that had been rather chaotic. At lunchtime, Addison had slipped away, only to return an hour later looking, if anything, more pale than before. Alex noticed, but chose to say nothing. It wasn't until they were performing an emergency c-section that afternoon that he realized exactly what might be wrong.
She was in the process of closing when she reached toward her instrument tray for some mosquito forceps with her left hand. Feeling the pain shoot down her side, she gasped and dropped the forceps. "Doctor Montgomery?" Alex asked.
"Dr. Karev, can you finish closing for me, please?"
"Sure," he said, taking the instruments from her and watching her rush out of the operating room. He closed as quickly as was safe for the patient, scrubbed out, and went in search of Addison. He ran into Dr. Bailey who, upon seeing the worried look on his face, said, "Try room 407, Karev."
Mumbling his thanks, he sprinted off toward the stairs and the 4th floor. Knocking the door, he heard muffled sobs coming from inside. Quietly entering the room, he saw Addison Montgomery curled up on the hospital bed in a fetal position, cradling her left arm. "Addison?" he ventured gently. "What's wrong?"
Her only response was more sobs. Crossing the room, he pulled the stool in the corner up to the bed and sat down. "When did you find the lump?" he asked.
She looked up at him sharply. "How did you know?"
He shrugged. "I guessed. My grandmother died from breast cancer. She was the only person in my family who ever gave a damn about me. After she had her biopsy, she was pretty sore too."
"Bailey did it at lunch today. I found the lump this morning in the shower."
"When will you have the results?"
"Miranda put a rush on them. I should know something by this evening. I'm scared, Alex. It grew so fast. It wasn't there three weeks ago. Or at least, I don't think it was there. I don't know anymore."
Reaching out, Alex took her right hand and held it between both of his. Bringing it to his lips, he said, "Don't do that, Addie. Don't start second guessing yourself. Can I get you anything? Ice for the injection site?" She shook her head. "Okay. Why don't you try to get some rest? I'll go check Mrs. Jackson's post-op labs and make sure everyone else is doing okay, then I'll be back." Standing up, he placed a quick kiss against her temple. "It's going to be okay, Addison."
Three hours later, Addison and Alex were standing at the nurses' station counter discussing a patient when Alex spotted Bailey coming their way. He nudged Addison gently, alerting her of Bailey's approach. "Addison, can I speak to you?"
Grasping Alex's hand like a lifeline, she said, "Are those my biopsy results?"
"They are. Why don't we go to an exam room where we can discuss them?"
Addison started to follow her, still holding Alex's hand. When she felt resistance, she turned to see him looking hesitantly at her, still standing in the same spot by the nurses' station. "I want…I need you to come with me, Alex," she said quietly. Bobbing his head, he squeezed her hand and fell in step next to her. They sat side by side on the bed, Alex placing a hand on Addison's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. Bailey took a seat on the stool next to the bed where Alex had been sitting before.
"Addison, I'm so sorry," Miranda said. "The cells I took from the needle biopsy were cancerous."
Addison leaned forward, dropping her head into her hands. Miranda placed a hand on her knee while Alex put his arm around her, drawing her close to him. "I need to talk to Derek," she mumbled. Alex looked at Bailey.
"I'll get him," she said, leaving the two of them alone.
When she was gone, Addison turned to Alex and buried her head in his chest, wrapping her arms around him and holding on for dear life. Alex felt his heart break as she began to cry. "I'm so sorry, Addie," he whispered. "So sorry."
"I kept hoping that it would be benign. I don't want to do this, Alex."
Wrapping his arms around her more tightly, he said, "I know, baby. I don't want you to do this either, but you're a fighter. And you've got friends who will help you through this. You've got me. I'll be right here."
Lifting her head, Addison looked at him shyly. "Thank you, Alex. You've been so sweet today."
"It's nothing," he said, dismissively, trying to downplay the panic he himself felt. He had seen first hand how breast cancer could ravage a body with his grandmother. While he still had no idea where he and Addison stood as far as defining their relationship was concerned, he knew that he cared about her very much and he was scared too. They were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Addison?" Derek asked, walking into the room, surprised to see his ex-wife and an intern in such an intimate embrace. "Bailey said you need to speak with me?"
She handed him the piece of paper with her biopsy results on it. "Can you call Erin?"
Feeling dread settle like a rock in the pit of his stomach, Derek stared at the words on the page. "Yeah," he said. "I'll call Erin. She'll probably be on the next plane out."
"Even after everything that's happened?"
"Addison, we both messed up. My sister never stopped caring about you. None of them did."
"Thanks, Derek."
"Addie." It somehow didn't sound as sweet when Derek used her nickname as it did when Alex said it. "If you need anything, anything at all, let me know."
"I will."
"Okay then." Derek stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before turning to leave.
"Let's get out of here," Alex said, standing up and bringing Addison with him.
"I don't…I can't go back to the hotel."
"You're not. You're coming home with me tonight. You don't need to be alone and you don't need to be spending tonight in a cold, impersonal hotel room."
"Alex—"
"Addison, this isn't up for debate. You get the bed, I get the couch. If I'm really feeling generous tomorrow morning, I might even make you pancakes."
"You sure know how to make a girl an offer she can't refuse."
"Come on. I'll take you by the hotel so you can pick up some things for the morning."