Chapter One: a Storm at Sky

"Welcome to the world of Pokemon!"

"Uh huh... Blah blah blah... Quiz..." A blond haired boy with a green masquerade mask on was boredly playing on his 3DS.

"This part is always boring! I wanna get to the actual thing!" The boy whined.

"You'll be disappointed if you rush it and get a bad Pokemon, otouto!" A dark haired girl called as she worked on cooking her food.

"Don't call me otouto, you fucking weaboo!" The boy retorted. His head was promptly pierced by a ninja star. "Fucking shit!"

"Calling me a weaboo..." The dark haired girl was glowing with a dark aura, and knives started floating in the air.

"Sorry, Nee-Chan..." The boy grinned sheepishly. "Besides, you know I'm just going to cheat the quiz to be a Skitty..."

"Of course." The girl nodded and the aura subsided. She focused on her cooking.

"The first question is always a yes..." The boy clicked a. "Aaaaaaaaand... Go!" He began rapidly answering the questions while carefully following instructions on his iPhone.

"Are you a male or a female?"

"...female." The boy clicked.

"Really otouto?" The girl looked back again.

"I really want a fucking Skitty!" The boy whined. "Aura stuff..."

"You are... The relaxed type! Totodile!"

"Fuck!" The boy quickly reset the game and began again...

Xxx

"...where am I...?" Flash, a brown haired boy with glasses woke up in a void of darkness, yawning.

"FOOLISH YOUTH! KNEEL BEFORE CAESAR!" A deep voice boomed.

"What?!" Flash frowned, jumping back.

"Nah, just kidding, it's G! I'm the narrator!" G cheered. His voice was now the same as the blond haired boy's from earlier.

"Oh... Okay..." Flash frowned.

"I played that trick on a bunch of people earlier." G sounded proud.

Xxx

Approximately ten minutes earlier...

"Huh?" Toxic, a brown haired Brit, stood up in the void. "Where am I...?"

"BOW BEFORE CEASAR, FOOLISH PLEBEIAN!" G's deep voice roared.

"NUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOO! NOT CAESAR! SPAR MEEEEEEEEE!" Toxic wailed as she fell to her knees.

Xxxx

Back in the present...

"...I think most of them figured it was me." G said goofily.

"Something tells me that's not true..." Flash frowned. "Why do I need a narrator?"

"Because you're about to enter the world of Pokemon!" G chimed. "I was GOING to ask you some questions that you would answer, but I found out with other people that the text boxes don't pop up, soooooooo... I'm gonna answer it for you!"

"I don't trust you." Flash immediately deadpanned.

"...well fuck you too." G sounded offended. "Okay, just for that, I'm gonna give you a weak Pokemon." There was immediately the tapping sound of a stylus hitting a DS.

"Hey, don't do that!" Flash frowned. "Gimme Cyndaquil!"

"No! I do what I want!" G yelled mutinously.

Flash just sighed and waited.

"Hey Flaaaaaaaaash!" G said after a while.

"What?" Flash sighed.

"I got you Cyndaquil!"

"Really?" Flash grinned.

"Yeah, but you have to choose female."

"..." Flash was silent at that.

"...I'll let you pick. The question is: are you a boy or a girl?"

"I think you know the answer to that." Flash deadpanned. "You can choose the right one."

"...just to clarify, you are letting me choose?"

"Yes. You know the answer." Flash rolled his eyes.

There were tapping sounds.

"Congrats, Flash! You're a Cyndaquil!"

Flash facepalmed. A text box with a list of Pokemon appeared next to him.

"Choose your partner's Pokemon!"

"...who's my partner?" Flash sighed.

"Who is your RL partner?" G asked rhetorically.

Flash looked the text box over before selecting a female Pikachu.

"...lol you thought it was Alicia! I tricked you! It was Nan, motherfucker! I done tested Alicia already!" A text box appeared beside Flash and the boy could see the name 'Caitlyn' being typed into Nan's name box. "Are you upset about Nan being humiliated?" G's voice asked smugly.

"I don't care about Nan." Flash said, stone faced.

"...well damn, harsh." G sounded surprised. "...see ya!"

Xxxx

"Gaaaaaaaaah!" Flash screamed as his body was buffeted around by the waves. He was thrown onto beach, and lay immobile.

"This... Hurts..." Flash said as he lost consciousness...

Xxxx

"Ooh..." Caitlyn, a Pikachu, was pacing back and forth in front of the Wigglytuff guild.

"This is it! I'm going in!" Caitlyn darted forward onto the strange grate in front of the guild.

"Pokemon detected! Pokemon detected! Whose footprint?! Whose footprint?!"

"Kyaaaaaaaa!" Caitlyn screamed cutely, jumping back.

"Oh... I give up!" Caitlyn sighed dramatically in her white girl sounding voice. Then she walked off, unknowing that a Koffing and Zubat were watching her...

Xxxx

"Oh dear... I just couldn't work up my courage..." Caitlyn sighed, sounding like a white girl who had missed out on her Starbucks. "Look, bubbles!" She gasped, her eyes starring over.

"I always come to this place when I feel sorry for myself... Ohmygosh, what's, like, over there?!" Caitlyn gasped, running over to Flash's body. "Ma'am! Wake up!"

"...huh...?" Flash woke up, finding himself face to face with a female Pikachu.

"...what?" Flash looked at his reflection in the sea, seeing a Cyndaquil. "...right."

"Oh... Okay... You sure were zonked out!" Caitlyn giggled nervously.

"Me... Zonked out...? Couldn't you have just said knocked out...?" Flash furrowed his eyebrows.

"Are you playing a trick on me?!" Caitlyn gasped dramatically.

"No." Flash said.

"Oh! Well that's, like, a relief!" Caitlyn grinned dopily.

"...what an idiot." Flash murmured too low for her to here.

"What's your name?" Caitlyn asked cheerfully.

"Flash." Flash said after glancing at the text boxes spawned by his speech. He was glad G hadn't changed his name to anything weird, like how he had changed Nan's name to...

"By the way, you can call me Caitlyn!" The Pikachu giggled.

Flash instantly became stone faced.

"Something wrong?" Caitlyn wondered, tilting her head.

"...Nan..." Flash cleared his throat. "...G just made you call yourself Caitlyn."

Nan's eyes went blank as his memories returned to him, and he screamed.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'm a female Pikachu! WHO DID THIS?!" Nan looked at Flash angrily.

"G." Flash decided to leave out the part where he chose the body and gender.

"Raaaaaaaaaah!" Nan started to throw a white girl tantrum.

"He's strangely fitting as a girl..." Flash commented to himself, but decided to not fill Nan in on his thoughts.

"Flash! Nan!" Two voices shouted. Flash turned as two Torchics ran toward them.

"The twins?" Flash guessed correctly.

"Flash! You're a girl! Nan! You're an irrelevant bitch!" Alicia gasped as she and her twin pulled to stop.

"Why you!" Nan turned to attack, but then stopped short. "Alicia, Alexis! You look more exactly the same than usual!"

"That's not goddamn funny!" The twins kicked Nan, tick marks appearing on their ears.

"This is really funny." Flash noted to himself.

"Though I am a boy, even though Alexis is still a girl..." Alicia grumbled.

"So the only way to tell you apart is to look at your-" Nan began, eyes glinting.

"Go to hell!" The twins shouted, kicking him in unison.

"You guys are perverted as usual." A small Eevee commented from nearby Flash.

"Who are you?" Flash blinked at the Eevee.

"I'm Toxic!" Toxic grinned widely.

"You're registered as Toxikku." Flash commented, pointing at the text box generated by her speech.

"G made the names." Toxic replied. "Anyway, I got a thing! Tada!" She pulled out the relic fragment!

Only for her to be instantly smacked down by a Phanpy, who took the relic fragment.

"Yes! Good DarkEH! You are an asset to this team!" A Skitty cheered as she skipped in. A Koffing and Zubat swooped in, smacked DarkEH down, took the relic fragment, and entered the beach cave.

"DarkEH YOU USELESS EMO! WHY ARE YOU SO GODDAMN WEAK!" The Skitty screamed, flailing her arms around.

"You're the one who made me the partner character! The partner is always weak!" The Phanpy whined back, having the voice of that dark haired girl from the beginning of the chapter. The Phanpy and Skitty then ran off, quickly disappearing.

"Well... That happened." Flash blinked.

"Waaaaaaah!" Toxic wailed. "My relic fragment! That was made from my feels! Please, help me save it!"

"Fine." Flash said. "Let's go, guys."

And so, the group entered beach cave...

And made it to the boss fight fairly easily, because beach cave Pokemon were scrubs.

"Give back this poor baby's treasure!" Flash growled, holding up Toxic.

"...actually, I'm older than you, even though my sprite is... The smallest..." Toxic hung her head.

"No." Koffing said.

Fight!

"Alright, Nan, take out Zubat with your type advantage!" Flash ordered. Nan did so. The group easily beat the crap out of Koffing by teaming up on him.

"Fleeeeeee!" Koffing and Zubat threw the relic fragment and ran.

"Run, you Team Rocket ripoffs!" Toxic jeered, shaking a paw at them.

Xxxx

Later, the group had regrouped on the beach.

"This is my personal treasure!" Toxic giggled, showing off her relic fragment. "Want to make a rescue team with me?"

"...no." Flash said.

Xxx

"...wha? Where am I?" Flash wondered as he sat up in the void.

"Welcome to the world of Pokemon!" G's voice chimed.

"...fuck."

End chapter one!