A/N: I love LJ even more after Deathly Hallows and everyone swooning over Snape. Still can't stand the guy. Anyway, hope you enjoy this: I found a load of cheesy pick-up lines on the Internet and turned them into LJ-ness.
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Pick Up Lines
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Third year
J: Lily! Hey Evans, wait up! Lily!
L: What do you want now, you insignificant cow?
J: Aw, I love you too, Lils! Anyway, listen to this.
L: Spit it out, Potter. I've got things to do, places to be...
J: Okay, okay. (clears throat) Lily, your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
L: No, but my fist would.
J: Ow!
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Fourth year
J: Hi.
L: I'm reading. Go away.
J: (holds out hand) I was just wondering if you'd hold this for me while I go to Hogsmeade tomorrow.
(pause)
L: That sounded so rehearsed it's not funny.
J: (shrugs) Well, it was worth a try. It's better than what I'm about to attempt.
L: (raises eyebrow) Which would be... what?
J: Grovel.
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Fifth year
J: Lily, are you tired?
L: (growls) What does it look like? It is currently two in the morning and I'm attempting to completely a Potions assignment! Of course I'm tired!
J: Well, that wouldn't surprise me, because you've been running through my mind all day.
(pause)
L: Your pick-up lines just get cheesier and cheesier, don't they?
J: I try.
(thuds and yelps)
J: Hey, that hurt!
L: Just be thanking the Lord that Potions textbooks don't have hardcover editions.
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Sixth year
L: I'm happy that Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup and all, but don't think I'm happy enough to accept when you ask me out, Potter.
J: Wow, you shot me down in a comparatively friendly way! We should win the Cup more often.
L: Yes, well done about that. You played very well.
J: (amazed) But you hate me! Why are you complimenting me?
L: No, hate is a very strong word. You just annoy the hell out of me. But anyway, I give credit where credit is due. And you really need to learn how to take a compliment.
J: (smiles sheepishly) Thanks. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something. And you seem particularly receptive now, so...
L: Shoot.
J: (confused) What?
L: I mean, go ahead.
J: Okay. Well, you see my friend over there? (points to Sirius who waves sheepishly from afar) Well, he wants to know if you think I'm cute.
L: (laughs) That's actually kind of cute. Your taste in pick-up lines is definitely improving.
J: (hopefully) So do you? Think I'm cute, I mean. (adds hastily) 'Cause Sirius honestly wants to know.
L: (ruffles his hair) I think you're a demented, infectious, three-legged pony. (walks off)
J: (yells after her) That's a compliment, right? Right? (to himself) I'm never going to wash this hair again. Ew, no, on second thought I think I will.
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Seventh year
J: Hi Lily.
L: Hi James! Have you finished writing up that roster for the prefects? That's what you wanted to talk about, right?
J: (looks flustered) Well, I have finished writing the roster, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. (regains composure) Want to buy me a Butterbeer? I'm out of money at the moment.
L: What? Sorry, James, I think it's the other way around. You're the one who's meant to buy me a Butterbeer.
J: Okay.
L: Okay what?
J: Okay, I'll buy you a Butterbeer.
L: (suspicious) Wait, I thought you said you were out of money.
J: (smiles) Ah, but when a beautiful girl like you asks a guy like me out for Butterbeer, how can I refuse? I'll manage to get money from somewhere.
L: (shocked)
L: (starts to smile) That is possibly the most devious pick-up line ever invented.
J: (nervous) So is that a yes then?
L: No, sorry, James – I'm busy.
J: (crestfallen) Oh. Okay. No problem.
L: I was wondering, could you do me a favour?
J: Sure, I guess.
L: (holds out hand) Could you hold this for me while I go to Hogsmeade?
J: ...
L: Don't exert yourself too much, though. You must be tired from running through my mind all day.
J: ...
L: Oh, and just so Sirius knows, I think you're very cute.
J: ...
L: Well, are you coming? I believe you owe me a Butterbeer.
J: (smiles and takes her hand) I believe so.
L: (sighs in exasperation) Do I have to say the lips pick-up line as well?
J: Huh?
L: James, your lips look very, very lonely.
J: Oh.
(silence)
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A/N: So how was that? Please review with any comments and criticism!