Dream Life

by heathergirl84

What if Buffy had stopped Faith from killing anybody? What would her life have turned out like? Well this is the way I saw it, took me MONTHS to finish, but it's done. Hope you guys enjoy it, it's just something until till I get ya'll a sequel to PIL!

Chapter One (March 2018)

Buffy Pov….

"Faith! She'll be here any minute!" I call down the hall. God where is she? I tap an impatient foot.

"Momma's in the bathroom throwing up," our nine year old, Aiden says walking down the hall. I frown, that's the third time to day. Nerves maybe? No Faith doesn't get nerves, not when it comes to this.

"Go wait in the living room," I say and ruffle his soft blond curls.

"Mom! The hair!" He whines. Yup, takes after Faith.

I move down the hall to find the baby of my two sons standing outside the bathroom door looking up at me scared. I can't help but laugh, "She's okay, go set in the living room with your brother."

He nods a little, but doesn't look happy about it. That's Keegan, he's Faith's son all the way. He loves his Momma, and she adores him. As the baby, at only four, he's spoiled rotten, but he's a sweet kid. I knock on our daughters door, "Kayla! Go wait in the living room and make sure your brother's don't destroy it or kill each other."

She opens her door and rolls her eyes, "Whatever." But I know she's just as excited as we are. Or else she wouldn't practically be skipping down the hallway.

With a sigh I knock on the bathroom door, "Are you okay?"

Faith opens it with a small sigh, "Yeah."

"Nerves?" I ask, knowing full well it isn't.

"Not exactly." She says putting an arm around me. "Lets not worry about it right know B. I want to see my girl."

I nod my head a little and we make our way to the living room. Aiden is throwing pillows at Kayla. I roll my eyes and tell them both to set down and shut up. I don't want them acting up when she gets here.

Oh I guess you're wondering who we're all waiting on? Cassandra Lehane. Faith's first born daughter, she's nineteen. She was born when Faith was seventeen. She's not mine, the other three are, but biologically she's not mine. She's one of the main reasons we got together though. Faith was so scared when she found out she was pregnant, my mom let her move in with us. And well, I guess it changed her life. We got a lot closer. And when Cassie was born, I just fell in love instantly. So in many ways she's mine.

We didn't really get together until Cassie was nearly a year old, because Faith was really just worried about the baby. Xander Harris is her father. Although there was never anything between the two of them. Before she realized she was pregnant Faith almost stabbed a man, but I stopped her. She nearly drove herself crazy, but once she found out she was pregnant, she really cleaned her act up. I'm very proud of her.

But none of that matters cause our girls car just pulled up, I'm almost jumping in excitement. Keegan is jumping , and I can't help but laugh. Faith moves to the door and steps out on the porch. I don't follow because I know they need to greet each other first. Faith and Cassie are very close.

FPOV…

I see her car when it pulls up and I can't help but get excited. It's been like six months since I saw her. I talk to her every night on the phone, but it just ant the same. Maybe sending her off to college was a bad idea. Then again, she's doing great.

Opening the door I step out on to the porch. B and the kids won't follow, they know I'll greet her first. I watch as Jason gets out of the car first. He smiles at me, and I have to smile back. They've been together for two years, went to high school together. Moving around he opens her door, which I approve of. Then offers her his hand but she slaps it away and I can't help but laugh. He's a gentleman, but she can only take so much, sorta like me.

She gets out of the car, and I'm amazed at how beautiful she really is. Her brunette curls are down on her shoulders and she's dressed in a pink sundress that's lose on her. She's about my height, five foot three, and slender. She's a slayer so she's build like one. For her all the girlyness B tried to put in her, she's still got a lot of me. She laughs at Jason and pushes him backwards so she can step around. Her eyes finally fall on me, my arms crossed over my stomach, feet spread. If it were anybody else they'd be challenged, cause I ant letting my face show my emotions. She flashes me a grin that looks so much like her father, except my dimples and my heart melts.

Okay before I go any farther, guess I should like tell you who her father is. Xander Harris. Yup, I was seventeen when I got knocked up. Wasn't Xander's fault though, I kinda forced myself on him. But that's okay. I mean there were ruff times, like when I tried to kill a guy, well in defense he jumped out in front of B and me. Anyways, I didn't even realize I was pregnant. And I mean, I kinda lost it, but B kept me in line. And her mom took me. Became kinda a grandmother for Cassie. Oh that's my first born daughter's name.

Anyways, Cassie makes her way up to the porch, and stands in front of me for a second. She stairs me down for a second.

"Okay hard head, what's wrong?" She asks, once my eyes have dragged away from hers.

I kinda chuckle and look back at her. We've always had this connection that nobody else really understands. "I'll tell you later." I say and grab her for a hug. "I missed you."

She hugs me back and laughs, "I missed you too Momma."

"How's college?" I ask pulling back to look into her deep chocolate eyes.

"College is college, Jason and I are fine, I'm glad to be home, oh and I think I'm pregnant." Cassie rambles off. Moving toward the door before I can respond. Did she just say she thinks she's pregnant? I glare at Jason as he goes by, causing him to shrink back just a bit. Oh yeah, he's gonna get his ass kicked.

Cassie POV…

So I got home. Momma was waiting on the porch for me as usual. She hugs me, and asks about school, I ramble off a few things including the fact that I think I'm pregnant. But I don't give her a chance to answer. Right know I don't want to know her answer. Let her think about it for a few.

Mean while I'm tackled by a four year old as soon as I get in the door. "I missed you sooo much!"

"I missed you too Buddy!" I say picking him up and putting him on my hip I move to my Mom and hug her.

"Hey Cassie," Mom says smiling, "How are you?"

"I'm good," I say, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Mom nods and takes Keegan.

I hug my other brother Aiden. He's nine, so he's not much into the hugging thing. But he'll hug me, cause I'm the big sister, "You okay Aiden?" I ruffle his hair a little.

"Sis!" He says fixing his hair, "You're just as bad as Mom."

"I'll have you know I'll ruffle your hair anytime I want." I say and ruffle his hair again. "You didn't answer my question."

"I donno." Aiden shrugs, "Momma's been sick a lot lately."

I raise my eye brow and turn back to where Momma is standing in the doorway. But she just shrugs and moves to the couch. She sets down next to Kayla, and plants both booted feet on the coffee table resting her hands on her stomach. I move to Kayla's other side.

"What's up Sis?" I ask.

She shrugs, "Nothing. Just glad you finally got here."

I laugh a little, "Yeah, I'm kinda glad to be here too."

Jason sets down next to me his arm around my neck on the back of the couch. Momma looks over and glares at him. I roll my eyes a little and lean into him.

"So how's college?" Mom asks.

I turn my attention to her and plant a smile on my face. To be honest I'm not really feeling so great, the car ride kinda triggered nausea. But I won't tell her that, not yet at least.

"It's good, I'm enjoying my classes. And the professors are cool I saw Willow the other day, she said to tell you hello." I say remembering the red head's request.

"How is she? I haven't talked to her in a few weeks." Mom asks.

"She's okay," I say as Keegan crawls up on my lap and leans his head against my chest. "She said that Tara was wanting to get up here, but they could never find the time."

"That's understandable," Mom nods her head a little, and sends a glare at Momma. She's s till glaring at Jason.

"So Jason, how is college for you?" Mom asks, trying to make him feel at home. She always is, because Momma doesn't really like to make it seem as though she likes him.

Jason knows she likes him. We've been together for two years. Since we were in high school. I'm in love with him, but that doesn't mean my Momma likes it one bit. She's way over protective and I'm nineteen years old. But then again I was her first daughter, and she was so young when she had me. Younger then I am now.

"So," Momma asks looking at Jason, "Got anything you want to talk about?"

I roll my eyes, "Not right this second. Right this second, I want to lay this little one down since he kinda fell asleep. How late did ya'll keep him up?"

"He was up at five this morning." Mom says, "I'll lay him down."

"Naw, I got him. I want to move around a little anyways, to many hours in a car." And my stomach feels like it's doing summersaults. But I don't think I should add that last part.

So I get up with little man and head for his room. He stirs a little when I lay him down, but then he dozes right back off. It's nap time anyways. So once I get him in bed I stand back up. But I musta done it to quickly cause I'm dizzy. Once it passes I look over toward the door, where Momma's leaning against it. I suppose she's thought about it enough.

"Thought we'd take a walk." Momma says.

I nod my head a little and follow her out to the living room. "We're going for a walk," I say and kiss Jason on the forehead.

"Be careful," He says leaning back so I can kiss him on the lips.

"EWW gross!" Aiden says looking disgusted at me.

I laugh and pick up a pillow and throw it at him. It hits him in the head, and Mom glares at me. I pretend not to notice though. Momma follows me out the door.

We walk in silence until we reach the fence separating our yard from the land around it. She hangs her hands over the white fence and stares straight ahead. I study her for a long moment then mimic her position and stair ahead.

She sighs deeply, but I don't look over. "How sure are you that you're pregnant?"

I run a hand threw my hair and sigh, "Pretty sure Momma. I mean, I'm six weeks late. And two weeks before that we kinda…." I stop thinking about how to put it. "I got this hella big slay, and I couldn't wait until we got back to the dorm. I mean it was then or bust."

Momma nods her head turning slightly to look at me. "I always wondered if it effected you as bad as it did me." She says quietly.

I nod my head a little, "So when are you going to tell me?"

She shrugs, "Why tell you what you already know?"

"Confirmation," I answer. When Willow done the spell for Momma to get pregnant with Aiden something went 'slightly wonky' as Willow said. Therefore Momma and Mom can get pregnant just like if it was a man and a woman.

She stands there for a moment, as if deciding if she wants to tell me. Sighs and runs a hand threw her hair. She's not ready just yet. It had been a huge shock when Keegan came along, because they hadn't thought anything of the spell in years. Me, Aiden, and Kayla were supposed to be it. But then Keegan came along, and we were beyond happy. That's when Willow realized the spell had gone wrong and made it where they could conceive a child at any time. Mom went on birth control and as soon as Momma was able so did she. But apparently it hadn't worked as well as planned.

"Have you talked to Mom?" I already know she hasn't. Or else she wouldn't look so damn nervous. It's like radiating off her and it isn't helping my stomach at all.

"No," she shakes her head, "We agreed no more after Keegan."

"But that doesn't matter too much now Momma. Look, Mom will be happy, or at least she'll understand." I say trying to sooth her.

"You don't get it, I'm thirty six. Things could go wrong. I have a pregnant daughter, I don't know if I can do it all over again." Momma sighs running a hand threw her hair.

I smile at her, "Do you remember when you found out you were pregnant with Keegan?" She looks like I've lost my mind. And maybe I have but oh well. "You came into my room one day, and you set down on the bed."

She nods her head a little looking confused. "Yeah I remember."

"You put your hand on your stomach and said 'I don't think I can do this again'. But you did Momma. And he's beautiful and perfect. You can not tell me that you don't think you can do it again, because I know damn well you can." I put my hand under her chin to force her to look at me, "I know you're scared Momma, I'm scared. But you and me, we'll be okay. I never know how, I just know we will be. And as far as your age, fuck it."

She gives me this little glare, but I don't pay it any attention. I hold my hand out and put it on her stomach.

"I think that, I really need for you to not freak out. Because I'm desperately trying to hold myself together. Talk to Mom, she'll understand. And then go to the doctor."

Momma pulls me to her, "I'm sorry." She says hugging me. "I know I can't freak out. You're right, we'll be okay. If it's one thing I trust in this world, it's that we'll be okay."

I hug her back, finally letting my own tears fall.

Jason POV…..

Cassie's sick, again. We got to her Moms' house about one this afternoon, and it's about seven. Her Mom had a big cookout for supper, and we ate about five. To be honest she didn't eat that much, but it still made her sick. Normally I would be in there with her, holding her hand doing the good boyfriend thing. But Faith kicked me out. She said she thought I'd done enough damage.

And to be honest, I think I may have. I know Cassie's pregnant, I can smell it. And I don't mean in a non lateral danger is coming kinda way. First thing you gotta know about me is I'm a half breed. Half Vamp, half Human. But I'm good. I'm not like evil. But I have a lot of the abilities that Vamps have. Such as night vision, smell, speed, and strength. But I have a lot of the human abilities too, like I can walk in the sunshine, and I have a soul and a heart.

So anyways, back to the pregnant thing. There's changes in Cassie's body and her smell. I can smell the hormone changes, so I know without a doubt she's pregnant. And if I had to guess, I'd say Faith is too. But I can't be sure, I just know she smells different.

I'm not sure how I feel about Cassie being pregnant, but I'm even more unsure about the fact that she hasn't talked to me about it. She knows that I know, because she knows most of my abilities better then me. She's a slayer, so she understands more of the vamp part of me. I was raised just by my mom who's all human. I swear I have ADD, cause I can't focus.

Cassie is scared, I can sense that too. And I don't want her to be scared to tell me. I love her, I want to marry her. I want a family with her. Granted I didn't think I'd be nineteen when that family started. But then again, it's partly my fault so I won't blame it all on her.

See, she had a big slay, and when she gets like that she's…well, demanding. And needy. It's just so much adrenalin going threw her that it has to go somewhere, and usually it means sex. I should have had a condom on me, because normally I carry them. But I didn't. And it wasn't like I could say no. She was crying for goodness sake. She was needing release so bad she was crying. You can't tell me that I was supposed to say, 'oh no, we can't I ant got a condom'. And before you ask, yes I could have pulled out, but in the heat of the moment, you ant really thinking with your brain. At least not the one in your head. So, therefore, I didn't pull out and know she's pregnant and to scared to tell me.

I can only assume she told her Momma. Cassie and Faith are very close. Have been all her life. Faith was young and wild when Cassie was born. But somehow they just get each other. It's like they have this unspoken language and it's kinda creepy at times. From what I understand, Cassie is the only thing that kept Faith from going crazy.

And if it's one thing I know for sure, you don't mess with Cassie when Faith's around. She almost killed a guy when Cassie was fifteen cause he put his hands on her. Faith is like with all her kids, but especially Cassie. Nobody hurts her kids and gets away with it. She would kill for them, and she makes to doubt about it.

Buffy wouldn't let anything hurt the kids either. But she has a lot more control then Faith. Sometimes I think Faith barely holds it together. And if it weren't for Cassie she wouldn't. Even Buffy can't bring Faith back if she gets to far gone, so to speak, but one look from Cassie and she snaps out of it.

I look up when Faith comes back into the room. She looks at me, and she almost looks, sad maybe? The look isn't angry, I've seen Faith angry, I've been on the receiving end of Faith's anger. But that isn't angry. She nods her head for me to follow her outside, and I know she's about to have the 'how could you knock my daughter up' talk with me. I sigh and get up to follow her. She doesn't need to speak for me to understand.

We stand on the back deck for several minutes before Faith looks over at me. "She's pregnant."

I nod my head a little, "I can smell it. But she hasn't talked to me about it."

"She's scared." Faith says, "And I don't blame her. Hell I'm scared for her. Having a baby is a big deal Ditto."

I sigh, "Do you honestly think I don't realize that Faith?"

"Don't cock an attitude with me Ditto." Faith warns. But she's still calling me by the nickname she gave me, so that's gotta be a good thing.

"Sorry," I say and turn to look out over the back yard. "Look we didn't intend of getting pregnant, but I just…." I sigh, what the hell am I supposed to say?

"I know Ditto, but I want to know you're going to be there. That she's not going to be alone." Faith says her eyes on me.

"I promise you I'm not going to abandon her or our child," I say and look over at her. She nods her head a little and goes silent for a few.

"Does Buffy know?" I ask finally.

"No, she hasn't told anybody but me." Faith shakes her head, "She's laying down right know, and I need to talk to B first. I promised Cassie I'd talk to her about…something. So I don't want you to say anything just yet."

I nod my head. So she is pregnant…Faith that is. That's the only thing that Faith could need to talk to Buffy about. Well not the only thing, but I can tell it's that. It's just a thing I can do.

"And she's going to call her dad too." Faith says.

I blink. Huh? Oh shit. If Faith scares me, when it comes to Cassie, Xander Harris petrifies me. He may not be a Slayer with Slayer powers, or a witch or anything, but he's still scary as shit when it comes to his first born daughter. There's nothing he wouldn't do for her, not to mention to protect her.

I musta shivered or something cause Faith has this amused look on her face. It's really seriously not funny. He tried to shoot her first boyfriend. And no, he wasn't playing around.

"Momma?" comes a small voice from the doorway.

We turn around to see Keegan standing there. I smile at him, because he's just so damn cute.

"What's a matter baby?" Faith asks opening her arms, and he runs into them.

"Sissy's playing her music again, is she sad?" Keegan asks.

Cassie has certain songs she plays when she's upset or something. Like 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence, or 'All The Things She Said' by Micheille Branch. Don't ask me, I think there was a lot of shit that happened when she was younger. Stuff with like her parent's being to women, and then she's bisexual herself.

"She's just not feeling good," Faith says with a sigh.

"But she's okay," I say, "She's gonna get all better really really soon, and I'm gonna go make sure she's okay. Would that be okay?" I ask him.

Keegan nods his head, "You take good care of her."

I laugh a little and kiss his forehead, "I try buddy."

I make my way inside and find her in her old bedroom. She's laying across the bed with music turned up. It's done changed to Three Days Grace 'Pain'. Personally I think it's a bit over dramatic, but it makes her feel better so I'm not going to say anything. She cuts her eyes over at me when I come in, but she doesn't say anything. I know better then to just start up, she'll talk when she's ready, and not before. I move around the bed and lay down on the other side, listening to the music. Defiantly over dramatic, and kinda scary, but I can't focus on that right know.

I turn on my side so that I can look at her. She's been crying, there's tear stains on her face, and know that I'm paying attention I can smell them. Sometimes I hate being half vamp. Gently I move her hair off her face, she's been sweating too. My eyes roam over her face. She's got deep chocolate colored eyes, and medium tanned skin. I let my eyes roam a little slower. She's built, because we slay a lot. And she refuses to not be in shape. It's the one thing that she knows she has to do, in order to survive. You go out slaying and not be in shape and well, there's a good chance you won't come back.

Anyways, I let my eyes roam over her breasts. They've been sore lately, I know because she won't let me touch them. Then to her stomach, it's still flat. She hasn't gained weight yet, but I know she will. Moving lower, I look over her legs. Remembering how strong they are when she locks them around me.

She changed her clothes. She had been wearing a light pink flowy dress. Know she's dressed in all back. Black wife beater, black shorts, which barely cover her ass. She probably almost over heated from throwing up. Just laying beside her I can tell her body temperature is up. Gently I move my hand and raise her shirt, laying my hand on her stomach.

I move my eyes back up and she's looking at me. Slowly I rub circles with my thumb on the soft skin of her stomach. Still she hasn't said anything, but at least she's looking at me. I move down in the bed until my head is even with her stomach. My hand is still gently caressing the skin, as I lean in and kiss it. Letting my lips linger on it for just a moment.

She lets out a sob like sigh and I look back up. Fresh tears are streaking down her face. I move up again in the bed and take her into my arms, letting her cry. Slowly I rub gentle circles on her back until she finally calms down.

"I'm pregnant." She says softly still crying.

"I know," I say and kiss her forehead.

She's crying again, so I can't understand her. I look up when the door opens and see Buffy standing there. She looks confused and worried, and for a moment I think she's going to say something, but Faith appears in the door too. She closes the door, and I know she's about to talk to Buffy.

Buffy POV….

I can hear crying in Cassie's old room, so I open the door. Cassie is crying, and Jason's holding her. I'm so shocked I can't say anything. He looks up and looks kinda scared. That's when Faith comes up and closes the door so I can't see it. She's always doing that. When Cassie is upset, Faith likes to be the one comforting her. Cassie is very much Faith's daughter. And although I helped raise her, she's a lot more like Faith then I care to admit.

"We need to talk B." Faith says.

"Why's she crying?" I ask, looking back at the door.

Faith sighs and runs a hand threw her hair, "She's okay B. Let Ditto take care of her for a few minutes, she'll come to you when she's ready. But right know I need to talk to you."

"What's wrong?" I ask my eyes landing on Faith's chocolate ones. She's scared, really scared.

"Could we go to the bedroom? Kayla is keeping Keegan busy and Aiden's in his room." Faith says swallowing hard. Does this have something to do with why Cassie is crying? I don'' know but I need to find out. I nod my head a little and follow her to our bedroom.

She sets down on the edge of the bed and I close the door. But I don't set down. I watch her seeing the internal struggle in her eyes. She's not sure what to say or how to say it. I make my way over and bend down in front of her taking her hands in mine and she looks at me.

"I'm pregnant." She says softly.

My eyes get wide. Did she say pregnant? As is with child? Wow.

"Calm down B." She says she's starting to panic, because I'm panicked.

I take a deep breath, "Are you sure?"

"I know my body B." Faith says with a sigh, "I know how I feel, and I feel like I'm pregnant."

"Okay first thing, you have to take a test. We can't panic before we know for sure." I say, but I'm already almost at the panic stage. We thought we were through when we had Aiden, until Keegan came along and we realized Willow spell was screwed up.

Faith nods her head a little biting her bottom lip. "If I am…pregnant…do we…uh…will we keep it?"

I look up at her started, "Yes." I choke out, "Faith I could never ask you to…kill our child. We didn't plan it but… we didn't plan Keegan either."

"But we're older now B. I mean we have a nineteen year old, and I'm scared that…." Faith sighs standing up and pulling me up with her.

I wrap my arms around her, "We'll be okay Faith." I say gently.

She seems to relax a little. So that's why she's been so sick. She had really bad morning sickness with Keegan. I felt so bad for her. But if she's pregnant why is Cassie crying?

I pull back a little and look up at her. "What's wrong with Cassie?"

Faith sighs, "One thing at a time B." She says. She's on over load. I can tell and I don't want to pressure her. So I nod my head a little.

"Do you want me to go get the test?" I ask looking down at her stomach. I run my hand a long it. A new baby. That wouldn't be so bad. "I don't think a new baby would be bad Faith. I mean I'm thirty eight, but I…."

"You want another one." Faith says and I nod my head. "But I hadn't planned on it B. It's just a shock."

I laugh a little, "There's always something shocking us."

She laughs a little, "You have no idea the shock I've had the last few hours."

I look up at her and know for sure that she's talking about Cassie.

"So about that test…" I say looking up at her threw my eye lashes.

"I'll get one B, I'm gonna take Cassie with me." Faith says, "I need to be alone with her for a little while."

I nod a little. I know Cassie already knows because she knows everything before me. She new about Keegan before Faith even new she was pregnant. Don't ask me how she new, they're just connected on a level I'll never understand. I've gotten used to being the second to know things when it comes to Faith. Cassie is Faith's first love in many ways. As weird as it sounds. And I'm okay with that.

Faith kisses me and moves to the door, "We'll be back B."

Faith POV…

I talked to B about the fact that I think I'm pregnant. She seems to think that having another baby might be good. I'm not so sure. Then again she doesn't know that Cassie is pregnant. Oh don't get me wrong I'd never like have an abortion. I just….ya know worry. And I feel like shit too, so that doesn't help.

Right know I'm on my way to town with Cassie. She's being super quiet, and I'm allowing it mostly cause I donno what to say. I know Cassie talked to Ditto, but I'm not sure what he said. She was crying when I talked to B. But that doesn't mean he said anything bad. She's scared and she's emotional and sick. So its just better that she cries when she needs to. And I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more crying in the future.

I sigh and run my free hand threw my hair. It's getting way to long. But B loves my long hair, so I keep it longer then I normally would. It's full of curls, and the longer it gets the more wavy it gets. I kept it up when Keegan was a baby because he pulled it so bad. None of my other kids have pulled hair really bad when they were a baby, but he did. He'd get a hold on it and pull with his slayer strength. It didn't take him long to figure out he was strong either. He walked at like nine months, by twelve he was jumping off the furniture. And don't even get me started on the terrible twos!

Cassie was a fairly easy baby. She slept threw the night at eight weeks old, she threw her bottle away at ten months, never wanted a pacifier. She walked at eleven months, talked at twelve, just right on track. She was text book. Cassie was very attached to me though. So when I went slaying I had to make sure she was sleeping. Or else she'd cry. I was living with Joyce and B when she was born. And I got close to B, and she helped a lot those first few months. But I told her straight out, I wanted to focus on my girl.

That's Cassie, my girl. B's my wife, Kayla's my princess, but Cassie's my girl. She always has been, and always will be. This bond that we have going started at day one. And once she hit two and started to understand stuff, when I'd take her out after dark she read my signals well. B was always trying to make sure nothing bad got her, but I new it wouldn't. She didn't show slayer powers till she was about three and half. Then she broke Xander's nose. She really didn't want to go to bed.

But I new that over my dead body would they take her. And so far, that's been that. The council was after her for a while, cause she was born to a slayer. I don't understand the whole reasons why, and didn't really ask when I was beating the shit out of the guys they sent after her. I glance over at her and her hand is resting on her stomach while she looks out the window.

I gotta say Xander is a good father. He adores her, always had. Took me about a month to tell him I was pregnant, but once he knew he done really good. She spent nights with him when I went slaying and Joyce couldn't watch her. And he was always over at B's making sure she was okay. He'd take her to the park when she was little and everything.

Then when she got up about six, I had a break down. Xander took her with him for about six months. They're really close to. He had her on weekends after he brought her back to live with me and B. I didn't like it at first, but she always came back happy. Then when she was thirteen, she moved back in with him for about a year. But that was her choice. She rebelled a little when she was younger. I blamed myself, but I guess every teen does it. She's a bit wilder then anyone realizes. She's got a lot of Slayer in her, and it can make her ferial. That's one reason I don't say much about Ditto being a half breed.

He's half vamp half human, but he'd never hurt her. He knows I'd kill him for one and he really loves her. I call him Ditto because he used the phrase so often when he was in school. He wouldn't say I love you back when me or B were around it was 'ditto'. That's where the name came from.

But Cassie almost needs someone like him to take care of her. He can handle her outbursts, and she won't hurt him if she decides to get physical. If they fight, he can handle himself. And he can calm her down by restraining her if he has to, he has the strength. There's been a couple times her temper got the better of her, and she had to be held back.

And as bad as this may sound because I'm her mother, he can keep up with her in bed too. With a Slayer that can be pretty damn important. There's just so much energy and shit after a big slay, or if you miss one, that it has to go somewhere. And most of the time that energy goes into sex. Especially with somebody so intone with the 'demon' inside. That's basically what the slayer inside us is. A demon. Only it's not evil. It's very ferial. And sometimes it's a struggle to hold onto the human half. I know she feels it and I wonder if it's not my fault because I almost lost it when I was pregnant.

"God does the rolling ever stop?!" Cassie's irritated voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I glance back over at her. She's looking pale again. I don't like this at all.

I sigh, and she looks over at me. "It doesn't last to long." I say. To be honest I don't know what to say.

"You okay Momma?" She asks so softly I almost don't hear her.

I smile, "I talked to B. She thinks maybe a baby wouldn't be so bad, and to be honest, maybe not." I look over at her, "What'd Ditto say?"

"Not much, just that he knew. I kinda broke down, and all I heard was 'we'll be okay'."

"He's right, look if I can do it at seventeen, then I know you can." I say. And it's true, I know she'll be okay and she'll make a good mom. "So you didn't plan it, I wouldn't go back for anything."

She sighs, "What about college, what about slaying, what about the fact that this baby's father is half vamp?"

"Well, college can be put on hold for a year. You can slay when the baby's born, and the fact that Ditto is half vamp doesn't mean anything. He's a good guy, and he has a soul. Which means for sure your baby will. It'll only be a quarter vamp, it may not even have powers." I say glancing over at her, "Look if two slayers can come out with such good kids, then you can too."

She laughs a little, "Keegan was a terror Momma."

I nod, "And he was adorable doing it. So it'll be hard. That doesn't mean shit. Life had always been hard for us Cassie, but you're my girl and I think there's enough of me in there that you'll be okay. And you me and B. You can move back in."

"I couldn't Momma, you can't support me and you being pregnant." She says.

"Cassandra Lehane," I say making sure she knows how serious I am, "You'll move back into the house, you'll stay with us, and together we'll get threw these pregnancies."

"And Jason?"

"Ditto will move in too. I'm not going to let the father of my grandchild not be around." God did I just say grandchild? Shit, I'm to young to be a grandmother.

I pull up in front of the drug store and we climb out of the Jeep. I put my arm around her just to let her know I'm here.

Chapter Two

Cassie POV

"Daddy?" I say into the phone hearing his voice on the line.

"Cassie?" Daddy asks, "Are you okay?"

I sigh a little, "Yeah, I'm okay." I say before pausing, "But we need to talk."

"Okay well, talk." Daddy says, and I can hear the worry he's trying to hide.

"I'm pregnant." I say, and hear a loud noise. "Daddy?" He doesn't answer for a minute.

"Come again baby girl?" He says, his voice cracking.

"I'm pregnant Daddy." I say, and hear a long sigh.

"What? I mean how…I know the how I just…" Daddy says and I can tell he's shocked and hurt.

"I had a really big Slay…and I couldn't…I mean…" I stumble looking down at my lap.

"Okay, it's okay. Where are you?" Daddy asks.

"I'm at Momma's."

"I'll be there in the morning, and we'll talk this out okay?" He asks, and I can hear my step mom in the background asking what's wrong.

"Okay," I say and sigh a little, "It's not like you can really…."

"You need me, that's all the reason I need Cassandra." Daddy says, "I gotta go, I'm gonna book a flight and get packed."

"Okay Daddy, I love you."

"I love you so much baby girl." Daddy says and hangs up the phone. I wait for the click and set down the receiver. Trying to hide the tears in my eyes. It doesn't work, Keegan is standing in the doorway.

"What you crying for?" He asks softly.

I pat the bed beside me, "I'm just a little overwhelmed."

"What's overwhelmed?" He asks tilting his head slightly.

"Overwhelmed means….there's just a lot of stuff going on and it's scary." I answer putting an arm around him.

"Is that why Momma was crying last night?" He asks leaning against me.

"Yeah Buddy," I kiss the top of his head, "She's a little overwhelmed too."

"Keegan, I told you not to bother your sister." Mom says from the doorway, "Go eat lunch."

With a heavy sigh Keegan gets off the bed and heads for the living room. I wait until he's out of earshot.

"He wasn't bothering me Mom." I say.

"Cassie, you gotta let me in. Come on, I'm your mom." She says stepping closer, "Whatever is going on it's gonna be okay.

I sigh and look up toward her, "Sit down." I watch as she sets down, I turn toward her. "About eight weeks ago, I went out on patrol with Jason. We got this really huge ass demon, and it was hard. I was so wound up it felt like I was gonna die if I didn't get release."

"Not that I mind, but could we uh, skip the sex details?" Mom says and I have to laugh, she doesn't think I should be having sex.

"I'm pregnant." I say not looking at her. I hear her suck in a breath. "And before you ask, I took two different tests and Jason can smell the hormone changes."

"You're pregnant? I thought you were always careful, me and Faith had the talk with you." Mom says, she's panicking and she really needs to calm down.

"We usually are Mom, but he didn't have protection that night, and well….I couldn't wait." I say looking down at my hand.

"Okay, so you're pregnant. And….oh…" She shakes her head. "Look this isn't the end of the world."

"I'm keeping the baby Mom, and Daddy's on his way out here. And I know Momma's pregnant, so if I have to leave then…" I say with a sigh.

She stands up and stands in front of me. When I don't look up at her, she kneels down and puts her fingers under my chin until I'm looking her in the eye.

"Never once have I ever turned you away, and I be damned if I'm gonna do it know. I don't care if….I don't care what happened or how or anything. You're staying right here so that Faith and I can take care of you. And it'll be hard with both of you pregnant, but I swear to you, we'll do it. This family has been threw hell Cassie, surely we can deal with two pregnancies."

"I'm scared," I whisper.

"It doesn't get any easier," Momma's voice says from the doorway she moves and sets down beside me, "But B's right, there ant no way we're turning my girl away. Besides, with both of us pregnant at the same time we'll at least understand each other."

I laugh I can't help it. She's kinda sorta right. At least we can depend on each other. And I know I can depend on my family. It's just so damn scary.

"Now get ready, we're headed to the doctors in half hour. I figured me and you would get something to eat after we saw the doctor. My stomach's to upset to eat right now anyways." Momma says getting up to leave.

"You okay?" Mom asks watching her.

"Five by five B." Momma says, then leaves the room.

"Which translates into she's not okay, but she doesn't want anybody to know." I say watching her.

"Right, but you go on and get ready. Are you hungry?" Mom asks standing up.

"No not really." I say, "Is Jason going to go with me?"

"I think your Momma just wanted you and her to go." Mom says and I nod my head. I understand the reasons. Besides, I really don't want him there this time.

I sigh and get off the bed, closing the door behind Mom. I move to pick out something to wear. A lot of my clothes were still here anyways. I pick out a pair of black jeans, and a black spaghetti strap, with a navy blue button up over it. Then I put my chocker chain on and my hair up in a clip. I don't bother with much make up, it's really not like I need it. But I put a little on. I'm just getting done when Momma knocks on my door.

"It's open," I call and set down to put my shoes on. I'm wearing my boots, I just feel like it today.

Momma is dressed in a blue t-shirt and jeans, with her boots. She doesn't look thirty six. Her hair is so long, but I know she'll cut it soon. She has on eye liner and foundation, maybe a touch of lipstick but that's it. Over all my mother is beautiful, and I've been told I look a lot like her.

She still slays so she's well toned. And she trains my siblings too. It's always been important to her that we be able to defend ourselves and hold our own against anything that might attack. Believe me, she's a hard trainer, but then again she kinda has to be when you've seen what she's seen.

"Ready to jet?" She asks.

"Yeah, just gotta get my purse." I say and move to the dresser to grab it.

"Alright, lets jet. See if we can't get back by the time Ditto has the kids worn out." She puts an arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the house. It's not very much, I'll admit, but it's her way of telling me she's there. My mother doesn't always use a lot of words, she's not big on speeches. That's Mom's job. But she tells me in other ways, and I learned early on, the smallest touch, the smallest look for her means a lot.

Faith POV….

It's official, I'm knocked up, again. I was hoping it was a fluke flu, but it's not. It's not that I don't' want another baby, just never figured on it happening. But I gotta admit, having another little baby around might be nice. Tell anybody that and I'll strange you.

They went on and took Cassie's blood with mine. But they waited until after I had my exam to tell her anything. She set with me during it and looked simply petrified. I can understand why, cause it hurt like a bitch. Well the vaginal exam does anyways. The rest was pretty basic. They pressed on my stomach a little, listened to my heart beat, took my blood pressure and temperature. Nothing to drastic, until the vaginal exam. By that time he was pretty sure I was pregnant. Just lucky I didn't puke on him. But I got to hear the baby's heartbeat. Anyways, once he was done the nurse came in with both sets of results, or at least I think it was both.

Right know they got Cassie on the table and she looks like she's about the hurl on them. The nurse is just taking her temperature and blood pressure. I get up from the chair and stand beside her rubbing her back. She looks up at me with these scared chocolate eyes and I can't help but feel really horrible. I almost feel like a bad momma cause I'm letting them scare my baby. But then I remember why we're really here. She's not my baby anymore, especially if there's a baby growing inside of her.

Finally the nurse finishes all that shit and leaves. She tells her to get undressed and put on the gown. I help her, and try to calm her down. But she knows I'm nervous as hell and it isn't helping. Finally she shoos me away and tells me to just set down.

I do because I know I'm just making things worse. When the doctor comes in he listens to her heart beat. Remarking that it's beating really fast. No shit, she's scared to death you mother fucker. I bite my tongue. He tells her to lay back a little and she reluctantly does. Then he starts pressing on her stomach, and by the look on his face he found something. I sigh a little and just hope she doesn't throw up on him. She doesn't though. He tells her to put her feet in the stirrups, and helps her.

"Momma?" She's about as scared as she can get, so I get back up and move over to the side of the exam table.

"I'm right here, I ant going anywhere." I say leaning down to kiss her forehead. She's never had a vaginal exam, so she doesn't know exactly what to expect.

"This will be uncomfortable, but I need you to try and relax. I'm going to talk to you threw it okay?" the doctor asks from her feet and she nods her head. "Good, the first thing you're going to feel in my fingers." He sets down and I feel her flinch, she grabs my hand and holds it tight. "Just relax, good. I'm going to open you up a little, so that I can put the tool in okay?" She makes some kinda sound, but it doesn't really sound like she understands. I feel her tense up when he puts the thingy inside her.

"Shh, you gotta stay calm okay?' I say, "Look at me." She doesn't open her eyes, "Cassandra look at me, look at Momma." I say and she opens them, "You can do this. Just remember that I'm right here." She nods her head a little, "Do you know what Keegan said when I told him you were coming?" She shakes her head a little, I can see her relaxing. "He said that he couldn't wait cause he new you wouldn't get him in trouble. Even Kayla was glad you were coming, and she doesn't seem to be excited about anything anymore."

I keep talking about random stuff until he says he's done. We both sigh in relief.

"Well, you're about eight weeks pregnant." The doctor says as I help her set up.

She nods a little but doesn't answer.

"You're going to have to take care of yourself, you both are." He says, "I want you back in one month. But first I want to see if I can hear the baby's heartbeat. Like I told your mother, it could be a little early. But I think we'll be able to find it."

She looks up at me and I smile back moving her hair to put behind her ear, "You done soo good, I'm sooo proud of you." I say leaning my head against hers. She learned very young that I have my own way of doing things, and she's picked up a lot of it. There's times when I just look at her and she understands.

"Why don't you get dressed, then we'll find the heartbeat and you can go." The doctor steps out long enough for her to get dressed. This time to do have to help because her hands are shaking so bad.

"I don't know if I'm ready Momma." She says.

I tilt her head upwards to look at me, "You are the strongest person I know Cassandra. There's not a doubt in my mind that you can do this, and you'll be an awesome mom."

"I learned from the best." She whispers and I smile a little. "You're gonna be okay too right?"

I laugh a little, "Can I tell you a secret? Tell B this and I'll getcha, but I'm kinda happy about this baby. Keegan was supposed to be our last, but the more I think about it, the more I like this idea."

She smiles and nods, "I thought maybe that was just me."

"Are we ready?" The doctor asks at the door. She sets back down on the table and he gets the little monitor out. Gently he places it on her stomach and moves it around. Finally a fast strong heart beat fills the room. It takes my breath away for the second time today.

Who would have thought I'd hear my baby's and my grandbaby's heartbeats on the same day? Certainly not me.

Cassie POV….

I am so glad that exam is over. It hurt like a bitch. But Momma was right there, and it meant a lot to me. She's always been there when I really needed her, no matter what.

It's official, we're both pregnant, and I'm scared as hell. I called Daddy this morning, and he's flying in. Not sure why, but he's always right there when I need him too. He may not have always known what to do, but he was there. My 'parents' were never together.

I've always had three parents Momma, Mom, and Daddy. Know I have my step Mom Becca. I just call her Becca, cause it gets to confusing. But every once in a while when my moms aren't around I'll call her Mom. But never Momma, there's only one person with that name. And nobody will ever have that name when it comes to me again.

And right know she's the one person I need. I'm so confused, and scared. I mean I'm not ready to be a mother, I'm not ready for any of it. How can I raise a baby? When I'm practically not raised myself! I mean seriously, there's a lot of shit I don't know. I know the basics of taking care of a kid, I've done I before. But only baby setting and I'm just not sure. It's totally different when it's your kid. How do you protect the kid and the world? I mean seriously I've been trained my whole life to be a slayer. Not a mother, a slayer. Slaying is what I know. Slaying is what I get.

But apparently, that's not my only destiny. No, I'm destined to be a mother. Of which I know nothing about. I hate not knowing. I hate this feeling of insecurities. Seriously, I get it from Momma. She can't stand feeling insecure. I get a lot from her.

So anyways, we made an appointment to come back in a month. And know we're setting at the café. She's picking at her food, taking a bite every once in a while. I know her stomach is still upset, which mine isn't feeling so great either so I'm basically picking at mine too.

"Cassie!" I hear somebody say, I turn toward the sound and it's Tina one of my best friends. "I didn't know you were coming home so soon."

I smile a little and move over, "Yeah, I thought I called you?"

"No, is Jason with you? Oh we have to go out while you're here, and we have to take Jason with us." Tina says, she's a little too perky for me at the moment.

"Maybe, but I kinda uh want to spend time with my family first." I say picking up a fry then putting it back down again.

"Something wrong?" Tina asks, her perkiness gone for a moment.

"Not exactly." I say not looking at her.

"Cass, come on it's me, it Tiny, I've known you forever." Tina reaches out a hand and takes mine.

I take a deep breath, "I can't Tiny. Please."

Tina turns toward me, "Cassandra Lehane," what is it with people using my full name? It's seriously annoying, "You can tell me anything. I fought right beside you, so don't tell me you can't tell me."

I run a hand threw my hair, "Momma, could you…."

"Meet ya at the Jeep?" Momma says getting up and paying for the food we barely touched.

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute." I say and watch her walk out the door, then turn to Tina. "Tiny, look…."

"Don't even," Tina shakes her head, "We're not in high school anymore Cass, we're not who we used to be."

It's true. We dated for about six months in high school until it got way to serious. We decided to slack off and see where it went. It went to friends, and it was weird at first but it's not now. We love each other, but we're not in love with each other. If that makes sense.

Anyways, I sigh again and put my hand on my stomach. "I um, I'm gonna…."

Tina looks over me, her eyes landing on my hand on my stomach. I can almost sense her smile. She puts her arms around me, and pulls me to her.

"It's okay to be scared every once in awhile tough girl. And a baby is a reason to be scared." Tina says softly, and that's all it takes. I break down. Tiny holds me until my sobs aren't as bad. "But no matter what I'm here, and it's not a horrible thing. It's a baby, it's not the end of the world. Matter of fact, it's a whole new life."

"That I have to take care of!" I say setting up looking at her a little panicked. But Tina in smiles and moves my hair.

"You're going to be an awesome Mom, Cassie."

"How do you know that?" I almost beg for the answer.

"Because I know you, like it or not. I get that this is scary, but nobody could love a baby more then you. And if you didn't love this baby already, you'd have aborted it and there wouldn't be a second thought. But you do care. You care so much it hurts, and that's what scares you."

She's right. Everything she said is right. I do love this baby, and it does scare me. And at the end of the day, a part of me wants this baby.

Tina kisses my forehead, "You want to know something else?"

"What?" I ask.

"I'm going to spoil it rotten." She pulls back and laughs a little, "Go home, talk to Jason, talk to your family, call your dad, and rest. Don't try to do everything, don't try to pretend nothing is wrong. They all get it."

With that she gets up and leaves the booth, and me to ponder what she's said. I sigh and get up to meet Momma at the Jeep.

Faith POV….Flashback…. (March 1999)

My stomach had been upset all day, so I wasn't feeling really great when I picked B up for patrol. It had been two months since the little Finch incident. At first I hadn't wanted to patrol again. I wouldn't even leave the hotel room, because I was afraid that I'd screw up again. B took over patrols for about two weeks then she pulled me outta the hotel.

But that had been over a month ago, and over all things were good. I got back into Slaying, and Mrs. S had me over for supper and stuff. Me and B make a good team. But that night I just wasn't feeling good, and she could tell.

"Faith what's wrong?" she asks for the fifth time.

I sigh and run a hand threw my hair, "Nothin B, just ya know…that time…"

She raises her eye brow, "Never bothered you before."

"Yeah well…." I say and shrug. It was a lie and she new it, it wasn't that time of the month. It hadn't been that time of the month in a month and half. I sigh and run a hand threw my hair again.

"So I think afterwards we'll meet up with the gang and hang out. Maybe get a pizza or something." She says absentmindedly twisting her stake.

Oh God, she didn't just say pizza. I feel the nausea rising and try to swallow, but it's burning the back of my throat, I don't even have time to kneel down. Luckily she's a little ways over, because I puke.

"Faith!" She wheels around and looks at me, but I'm to busy trying not to puke again to really care. She senses that I guess and leads me a little ways over and I kneel down, on my knees my head bent and my palms on the ground. She moves my hair back and rubs my back as the rest of my supper comes back up.

Finally I get done throwing up, and set back on my feet and then land on my butt. I pull my feet to me and wrap my arms around it, burring my head in it.

"Are you okay?" She asks softly, and I nod my head a little. "Was it something you ate or have you been feeling bad."

I sigh, my stomach still isn't one hundred percent, but by this time it could only be dry heaves anyways. "I don't know." I answer.

"Okay, come on." She says and pulls me up. She puts her arm around me and begins walking out of the graveyard.

"Where are we going?" I ask my arm wrapped around my stomach.

"To my Mom." She says and I don't complain.

Once we reach her house she sets me down on the couch and goes to get Mrs. S.

"She threw up, and she said she's not sure if she ate something or what." B relates to her Mom.

"Okay go get a cool clothe and the thermometer," Her mother says, setting down feeling my head. "You don't feel like you got a fever, how long have you been throwing up?"

"I uh," I swallow hard, if it's one thing I can't do it's lie to Mrs. S. "About two days," I say finally, "And I haven't went out partying in like two months."

She nods a little, "Are you achy?" I shake my head, I'm not achy. "Are you having chills?" Again no. She frowns a little, "Are your breasts sore?"

"What?" B asks coming back into the room, "Mom she has the flu."

"Please Buffy, let her answer." Mrs. S says, "Are you tired a lot?"

"A lot more then usual, but I've been working out harder too." I say leaning my head back.

"Okay, I want this under your tongue," Mrs. S says, and sticks the thermometer under my tongue. We wait for the little beep to go off, and she pulls it out and frowns, "You don't have a fever."

I nod a little feeling my stomach give a huge lurch, I get off the couch and barely make it to the bathroom. I fall down beside the toilet, and puke yet again. How the hell can I puke so much when I haven't eaten that much?

Mrs. S comes into the bathroom once I've finished wetting a wash rag and handing it to me as I flush the toilet.

"Can I talk to you Faith?" She asks, and I nod my head a little. "I want you to be completely honest with me." Again I nod my head but I'm a little scared at this point. "Are you pregnant?"

Pregnant? Did she say pregnant? It hadn't crossed my mind, I mean seriously, it hadn't. I've been late before. But if I date it back, then…..it's been eight weeks since I slept with Xander. Fuck!

"Faith, look at me." Mrs. S says.

I sigh, but look at her, "I don't know." I say finally.

"Well obviously you're having morning sickness," She says, "What about fatigue? Are you late? Are you're breasts sore?"

"I've been tired lately, but I just thought I was working to hard. And my periods been late before." I say and bite my bottom lip, "Yesterday, B and me were fighting this vamp and she accidentally like got knocked into me, and I almost cried it hurt so bad for her to touch my breasts." I say. I can't lie to Mrs. S, and I can't tell her only half truths. I just can't.

She sets down beside me and puts her arm around me, "It sounds like your pregnant Faith."

I hold back a sob, but the tears fall anyways.

I really wish Mrs. S were here right know. Joyce, that's what she said I should call her. I really really wish she were here right now. I've wished it threw every pregnancy, but this time for different reasons. How do I fix this?

Cassie and me got home about an hour ago, and as soon as she got in the door good she was in the bathroom throwing up. I can't stand to see her like this. Doesn't help that I'm all emotional and not really sure what to do. So I done the only thing I new to do, and that was hold her.

She won't let anybody else near her, she wants her Momma and that's it. I know the feeling, when I had really bad morning sickness with her, all I wanted was Joyce. For some reason she just new what to say and do. Maybe because she'd been there twice. Then again, maybe it's just a mother thing.

So I took Cassie into me and B's bedroom and laid her down on the bed. I got her a cool rag and then laid down with her. She cried for a little bit, but that's understandable. I always hate throwing up, and so has she. When she was little she'd cry so hard she made herself sick all over again. Until finally she'd fall asleep.

Which is what she's done now, she's fallen asleep, but I know if I move too much she'll wake up. So I stay pretty still thinking about things. I look when I hear the door crack open and it's Aiden.

He looks at the bed and bites hit bottom lip. He knows he's not supposed to be in here when she's sick, or I'm sick. B's made it clear that the younger kids are not to bother us. However he's Aiden and as much as he fights with his big sister, he also loves her. And he's worried. So I motion for him to come in, and he tip toes in.

He sets down on my other side and I put an arm around him. He leans against me, which is a little strange. Aiden is nine and he's all boy. So I pretty much gave up cuddling him anymore. What? Yes I cuddle my children don't' look so shocked. Anyways, he won't let me do it much anymore.

"Is Cassie okay?" He asks softly.

I move the hair out of his eyes, "Yeah, she's okay."

"You and her are sick a lot." He says looking up at me with green eyes. "What's going on Momma, and don't tell me I'm too young, I'm the man of the house."

I smile a little, "I think we should let your sister tell you. And me and Mom are going to talk to all of you kids."

"But I want to know now Momma. I don't want anything to be wrong, I don't want you both sick. I don't want you to go away and never come back." Tears threaten to spill over and I gently use my thumb to wipe them away.

"What? We're not going anywhere. And there's nothing, wrong really." I say gently confused by his out burst.

"That's what Mike's Momma told him and then she died." He says.

I nod my head a little, "I don't have cancer, and neither does Cassie."

Cassie stirs a little and draws both out attention she opens her eyes frowning up at us still half a sleep. She closes them back and groans a little flipping onto her back.

"What's all the ruckus Bubbie?" She asks setting up.

"I'm afraid you're going away and not coming back." He says and looks down at his hands.

She looks toward him, "Come here," She says and he climbs gently over me to set between us. "I want you to listen to me very carefully Bubbie."

He nods his head a little and looks at her, "Okay."

"I'm going to be sick for a while, and it's going to be a little scary. And Momma going to be sick, but that's okay." She pauses and looks at me. I nod my head a little, knowing what she's going to do. "How would you like to have a little niece or nephew?"

"Huh?" He looks up surprised and she laughs a little.

"You can't tell anybody yet okay?" She says and he nods his head, "But I'm gonna have a baby."

"Is that why you're sick?" He asks and she nods, "Is Momma sick cause you're going to have a baby."

I laugh a little and shake my head, "Not exactly."

He frowns, "Then why are you sick."

"Cause in addition to a niece or nephew, we're getting a new brother or sister." Cassie says and his eyes get big.

"You're pregnant too?!"

I laugh and ruffle his hair, "Uh huh. But you gotta keep it a secret till we have the family meeting."

"Does Mom know?" He asks.

"Yeah, she knows." I answer nodding a little.

"Wow." He sets back leaning against the pillows.

I lean in and give him a kiss on the forehead, "I agree, wow."

Buffy POV….

It's official, my wife and my daughter are pregnant. This is insane! It's crazy! How do you deal with something like this? I suppose you just suck it up and do.

Anyways, Faith is ten weeks, which means only a couple more weeks of morning sickness unless she goes into the fourth month again. She did with Keegan, she had it almost until the fifth month. And then there was still things that would set her off. So I'm really hoping that by 12 weeks she's over morning sickness, but then that means that her breasts will be sore. She's been here before, so she knows the drill.

Cassie however hasn't been here and doesn't know the drill. She's eight weeks, which means that she's gonna be sick probably another month. I can't stand to see her sick. She's so scared. I just hope her breasts don't get to sore. When Faith was pregnant with Cassie her breasts got so sore she'd sit down and cry if you so much as brushed them. We weren't together then, of course, but she was living in the house. And morning sickness was a bitch with Cassie too. Then there was the no slaying.

Yeah that one hasn't gone over with any of Faith's pregnancies. And if I had to guess it's not going to go over to well with Cassie. She's just so much like her momma. So far she's to sick to really get out and try to slay, but I know that once the morning sickness is over then she's not going to want to stay home.

The younger kids all know something is going on, so we're about to have a family meeting and explain the situation. Which should be quiet fun, cause I know Keegan's first question, 'where do babies come from?'. I'll let Faith handle that one. What? Okay so we'll explain it together.

"Okay, everybody to the table," Faith says, "And yes that includes you Ditto."

Jason rolls his eyes, "Family meetings, oh the joys." He's being sarcastic. It's not really that bad, but usually he gets told off at these meetings.

Faith hits him in the head and he laughs a little.

"Is everybody here?" Faith asks looking around, "Where's Keegan?"

"He was in his room," Kayla says, "Want me to go get him?"

"Yeah, please. Can't have a family meeting without him." Faith says, Kayla gets up and leaves the table.

Cassie is setting on Jason's lap. After that little spell of throwing up she seems to be doing better. Which is a very good thing. She wouldn't let Jason or me near her, she just wanted Faith. And for right know I'm going to let Faith handle it, but if it gets to stressing her out then I'm going to take over. Because we have to think about our baby too, which means I don't want Faith stressing out to much. But so far she doesn't seem to be stressing, then again, you can't really tell when it comes to Faith.

Keegan comes running into the room and jumps into my lap, I hug him to me and kiss his forehead.

"We wanted to talk you guys about why Cassie and me have been so sick." Faith starts.

"You're pregnant," Kayla says, "But I donno about Cassie."

Faith laughs and shakes her head, "How'd you know?"

"Please, I have two younger siblings, I know what you're like when you're pregnant." Kayla rolls her eyes. I guess she would, she's eleven after all.

Cassie plays with Jason's hand not looking up. "Babe, just say it." He says softly.

She takes a deep breath, "I'm pregnant too."

"Wow, wait just a minute!" Kayla stands up, "That means that Momma and you are pregnant. No see that can't happen, and and you can't think you're staying here."

"If you want me to leave then I will. But I'm scared Kayla," She gets off Jason's lap and comes to stand in front of Kayla, "I really want to be with my family right know."

"How could go get yourself knocked up?" Kayla screams.

"Things happen Kay." Cassie says softly, "This wasn't planned, but I mean…"

"Everybody always compares me to the great Cassie, know you're knocked up. How great it that?"

"It's not, it wasn't planned. But" Cassie puts her hand under Kayla's chin and makes her look at her, "Nobody thinks you should be me. I've made a lot of mistakes that I don't want you to make. I don't want you to be compared to me. You're who you are. And you are an awesome person. But this baby isn't one of my mistakes. It's just something that happened, and we'll be happy about it. Kayla, you're my little sister, and from day one I new you would turn out to be even more awesome then me. You're you, and that's all people can expect from you."

Kayla puts her arms around Cassie, "But I wanted to be like you."

Cassie hugs her, "No, Sis you don't. You want to be better then me, you want to be stronger okay?"

"I have to disagree, I think that if she had your strength she'd be pretty damn lucky." Jason says, "Nobody says you have to be like her Kayla, but we want what's best for you. And this baby is a good thing, a surprise, but a good one. This baby is ours, and it's a good thing." He looks directly at Cassie. "And as far as Faith being pregnant, great, congratulations. I've never in my life saw one member of this family turn down a challenge."

"He's right, we don't turn down a challenge." Faith says.

Flashback…. (March 1999)

I stand in Faith's bedroom door. She'd moved in earlier that day. Once Mom took her to the doctor and found out for sure she was pregnant, then she insisted she live with us. Faith's been really quiet, and I wonder what's going on in her head. She's standing in front of the full length mirror with a pillow under her shirt.

She must sense me behind her because she turns around. "What?"

I shrug, "Just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She takes the pillow out and throws it on the bed, "I donno B. I got myself in a bind this time huh?"

"I think you'll be okay," I say, "And me and Mom are here, and the scoobs, and I mean we'll talk to Giles, and Wesley. Okay so maybe not Wesley, maybe just Giles. And then, I mean…."

"Don't try and make me feel better B." Faith says running a hand threw her hair, "Ya know I don't need anybody…"

"I know," I say, although it was clear she did need somebody. "But we want to help. And you can't live at the hotel pregnant. It just wouldn't be right. And once the baby gets here, then we'll ya know help out."

"I donno B." She says looking down at her hand, "I'm not sure this whole Mom gig is for me."

I set down next to her on the bed, "Faith, look at me." She looks up slightly, "I think this baby will be very lucky. You're going to be a great Mom."

"How could I be?" she's almost begging for an answer.

"Because," I reach out and put my hand under her chin, "You're a good person Faith. Threw all the badass reckless shit you've done, you've taken care of me. And you saved Willow. And I mean, you're okay now right?" She shrugs a little, "Look, this isn't just a mistake you made, another screw up, it's a baby. A life that's growing inside you, and I can't believe that, that is a bad thing. That you don't want it. So it's a surprise, you didn't think it was going to happen, but think about it Faith."

She looks down at her hands, "I heard the heartbeat." She says softly, "And it's like….it's alive. Ya know?" I nod my head, although I don't really get it. Not at that time anyways. "And it's mine. But I'm so afraid it's like going to be taken away, cause I'm a screw up that way."

"Faith," I say and she looks back up at me, "Nobody is taking this baby away from you, unless they go threw me first." And I meant it. I Still do.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the doorbell ringing, so I get up and move to the door. When I open it I see Xander standing there, and get a big smile on my face.

"Where's my girl?" He asks, hugging me.

"The kitchen, family meeting." I say and shut the door following him in there.

Cassie blinks then moves around the table and hugs him. "I'm here Baby Girl, it's okay." Xander whispers into her hair.

Xander POV….

I told Cassie I would be here in the morning but I got an earlier flight. Becca, my wife, and our daughter are going to come out tomorrow. But I had to get here. My Baby Girl needed me.

When I got to Buffy and Faith's they were having a family meeting, and Cassie grabbed me the minute she saw me. I just held her for a good five minutes. Know I'm setting on the couch, and trying to talk to her.

"Cassie," I say, pulling her out of her thoughts again, "I'm not mad okay?"

She lets out a sigh. We've been setting here for ten minutes and she's not focusing very well. "I know Daddy, I just…"

"Look, if you want to come home with me, you're more then welcome." I say.

"Un uh, Xand Man she's staying right where she is." Faith says setting down. She puts her feet on the coffee table, she's setting facing me.

"Faith, Cassie needs to decide this." I try to be reasonable.

"She has," Faith answers, "And right now she needs me and B. No offense Xand Man, but you don't get this one."

I run a hand threw my hair, so I don't get it. Becca does, "I just think that logically with you having three younger kids that she stay with me and Becca. We only have one other child."

Cassie leans her head back, "I'm staying here Daddy."

I sigh deeply, "Okay, so…"

"So we're keeping the baby," she turns her head toward me, "Daddy, I'm scared and I'm confused and I'm sick, and right know I need Momma." She leans her head on my shoulder, "But I need you too."

I put my arms around her and envelope her in a big hug, "I'm right here and I'm not leaving until I know you're okay." I look over at Faith, and she nods her head in understanding.

Flashback (April 1999)

We were setting in the high school library, "I believe there must be a way to kill the Mayor," Giles says, "I still believe that Finch is our best option."

"But do we really trust him?" I ask.

"Do we have a choice?" Buffy counters.

"Okay, so we send Faith in and find out what he knows" Willow says.

"NO!" Buffy shakes her head.

"But she's not all crazy like anymore, she's better, right Faith?" Will says looking at Faith, who's munching on chips.

"Right, so logically I could go in." Faith says looking at Buffy.

"No, absolutely not, no way no how." Buffy says.

"B, look we need to get the Mayor." Faith says, "It's been three months, and we're no closer."

"You're not going in, in your…condition…" Buffy says.

"What?!" Faith stands up, "You act like I'm helpless, I'm not."

"No, you're not helpless, but there's no way I'm putting you in danger." Buffy says putting her hands in her hips.

"Look if the mayor takes over we're all in danger. And this is my destiny." Faith says.

"I must agree that in your current….condition, going undercover would not be good." Giles says.

"Stop calling it a condition!" Faith says letting out an irritated groan. Will and I are confused. Are they talking about her going slightly crazy?

"Faith, you must stop and think about this. This isn't just about you anymore, there is somebody else to consider." Giles says gently.

"Okay confused here," I say, "Who else are we considering?"

Faith shakes her head and closes her eyes. She runs a hand threw her hair. "Look, if you won't use me then why am I here?"

"Because we care," Buffy says, "And we want to keep you informed. But you can't just go out and do something this dangerous. We don't want you hurt."

"Okay getting more confused by the minute." I say raising my hand.

"It's nothing." Faith says, "They're just worrying about nothing."

"This isn't nothing Faith!" Buffy says.

"Do you honestly think I'd put it in danger? I know how to take care of myself." Faith says.

"But there's so much you don't know, that we don't know that could go wrong. We don't know the mayor's powers, we're not sure what Finch really has." Buffy says, "I let you slay with me because I know if I don't you just sneak out and do it."

"I just…." Faith swallow hard and puts her hand on her stomach, "I just don't understand. I'm not helpless."

"Nobody said you were." Buffy says.

"But that's what if feels like." Faith says and we can hear the emotion in her voice, "Damn it!"

"Faith," Buffy says and sets down, "set down okay? Just calm down."

"Easy for you to say!" Faith says, but she sets down.

"I'm sorry okay?" Buffy takes her hand.

"It's not your fault B." Faith laughs a little.

"If I wasn't arguing with you, then it wouldn't be upset. But I'm not letting you go out there and put yourself and it in danger. You have to think about this Faith, there's not just you anymore." Buffy says and I hear Willow suck in a breath.

"Oh!" she covers her mouth, "There's an it…"

Faith looks toward her, "Yeah Red, there's an it."

"Okay still confused here." I say. An it? It what?

"We need to take a walk." Faith says and gets up. I'm still confused but I get up and follow her anyways, "We'll be back." She says.

"Take your time." Buffy calls.

"Why don't you talk to Red?" Faith says. She's quiet until we get out in the quad.

"So did you just want to walk or was there something you wanted to tell me?" I ask finally.

"Remember that night…when I was fighting that demon and you kinda saved my ass?"

Do I remember it? Uh yeah, I do. I nod my head a little.

"Okay well, remember how I took you for a ride?" She looks nervous.

"Faith, I'm not going to forget that I lost my virginity to you any time soon."

"Okay, right. Well that was three months ago right?" I frown but nod my head. "And like, right after that the Finch thing happened…..but…well I'm….uh…" She runs her hand threw her hair, "I'm pregnant."

"Come again?" Did she say pregnant? "I uh…come again?" I squeak out.

"Don't freak okay? I don't like aspect anything I just, ya know, thought you should ya know, know." Faith says.

"I….you're…..baby?" I sink down on a bench. My mind isn't working.

"I'm pregnant," She repeats and I look up at her.

"It's mine?" She nods a little, "You're pregnant with my child?" Again she nods, but she looks frustrated.

"Look like I said I don't like aspect anything." She says still standing looking down at me.

I stand up and put my arms around her, she resists for a minute but finally relaxes, "To bad, cause anything you need I'm right here." I kiss her forehead, "Have you been to a doctor?"

"Yeah, Mrs. S took me about a month ago, but I gotta go back this week." Faith says.

"When are you due?"

"October 21st."

I kiss her forehead again, "So what are we?"

"I don't know, I'm too confused to think about it right know." Faith says softly.

"How's this, we're friends, who happen to be having a baby." She nods her head a little, "Are you okay?" Again she nods, "There's no way you're going undercover."

She pulls back and rolls her eyes, "I know that. But I can't go down without a fight."

And just like that the tough Faith is back.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Buffy sets down. "We really think it would be best if she stays here Xander." She says softly.

I nod a little, "I get that, I just…." I look down and see her sleeping.

"She's been sleeping a lot more," Faith says, "She's exhausted."

I kiss her forehead, "It's hard to believe our baby is having a baby. I love her so much."

Jason sets down on Cassie's other side, "I love her too, just so you know."

"Are you going to be around?" I ask, my eyes locked on his.

"Every step of the way, and if she'll consent I want to marry her." Jason says.

"I think maybe you should wait on marriage." I say, and I do. Having a baby so young is one thing, but marriage on top of it is even bigger.

"There's plenty of time for marriage once the baby's born." Faith says, "Right know we need to focus on healthy babies."

I look over at her, and raise an eye brow, "Babies?"

She laughs a little, "This one ant yours."

I roll my eyes, "Congratulations Faith."

"Hey!" Buffy says and hits my arm.

"Careful," I say as Cassie stirs in my arms, "Sorry Buffster, congrates." I smile a little, "You realize you're going to be a grandmother?"

"You're going to be a grandfather." She counters.

Shit, seriously?

Aiden POV…

I'm going to be a big brother again and an uncle. It's a little weird to think about, cause my momma and my sister being pregnant at the same time is weird. But it's a good thing I think. Cassie's moving back in, they're going this weekend to get her stuff, so I guess she's taking time off college.

I'm glad she's moving back in, I miss her. She's an awesome big sister. Not that I would tell her that but she is. And she's going to be a good mom. Kayla doesn't think so but I do. Cassie's always taking care of us. I think Kayla just doesn't want to share our sister.

Kayla had a hard time after Cassie left. They're close, and I guess she really missed her. So, I think that the baby is just a shock and once she gets used to the idea, it'll be fine. Kayla doesn't like change at all. She's just not good at it.

Cassie does okay with change, and Keegan is too young to understand it really. I'm nine so I get it. A baby is a big deal, and two at once is like major. Cassie's been playing her 'angry music' we're not supposed to listen to that, but it's kinda hard. Slayer hearing and all. Momma hasn't said anything to her about it yet.

Xander flew out to see about Cassie. He's her Dad. But him and Momma were never together. So, basically Mom raised Cassie I guess. Xander is always coming around when we were younger, but then we moved to Kentucky. I was small when we moved. Momma said she had just had enough of Ohio.

We live in a pretty good size house, and like it has a lot of land around it. Momma and me go four wheeler riding a lot, and they got me a dirt bike. It's awesome, I love it! I can go really fast on it, and it totally freaks Mom out. She's way to easy to scare. I let Keegan ride on the four wheeler, but I don't' go fast at all. Kayla has her own too. Hers is pink. Yuck! I don't like pink. I hope both babies are boys.

Jason's been riding Cassie's four wheeler, it's awesome. It's red, and has a stripe of fire going down it. She has a dirt bike too, and a motorcycle. But nobody rides the bike but her. Momma bought her for her eighteen birthday, and it caused a big fight with Mom. But in the end she got the bike and was told to be very careful. So far she's only wrecked it once and it was just a finder binder. It's a blue color. I want to ride on it, but she said I had to be older.

Keegan's to young for any of the cool toys, although they got him this little power wheels things. He rides with Momma a lot, but I guess she won't be riding much being pregnant and all. We have like this dirt track that we ride on. It's awesome.

"Whatcha thinking about Bubbie?" Cassie asks setting down next to me.

Just thinking," I say, she turns toward me and puts her arms on the back of the couch.

"You okay?" she asks, "With the babies and everything…."

"I'm fine Sis." I say and turn toward her. "I was just thinking that I'm not going to be able to ride with you."

"No, I guess not." She says moving my hair out of my face. Normally it bugs the heck out of me, when Mom does it. But I don't mind when she does.

"But that's okay." I say, she's staring over my shoulder, and she looks at me and smiles a little.

"You're so brave." She laughs a little, "We may need to borrow some of that."

"I'm not sure I'm very brave." I say, "I mean, I'm not scared, but…"

"It'd be okay if you were Bubbie. I mean, this is a big deal and it's a little bit scary." She's looking back over my shoulder.

"Keegan is going to be jealous." I say, "You're not going Slaying are you?"

"No, I can't go slaying, and neither can Momma, but Jason and Mom can and I think they're sending Ken up." Cassie says.

"Oh! She can ride four wheelers!" I love when Ken comes, she's awesome.

Cassie laughs, "Not mine she can't. She's already wrecked enough, and no way in hell is she touching my baby."

She's talking about the bike. That's what she calls it. Cassie is a bit of a tom boy, she's always into some kind of something. Like she was riding trick when she was about twelve. And she was riding a bike at seventeen. Mom says she's wild, but I think she's just adventurous.

"But she didn't mean to wreck it." I say, she wrecked Cassie's first four wheeler.

"She could have been killed. Ken's settled down a lot though." Cassie says putting her hand on her stomach.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Just feeling queasy." She says and leans in and kisses me on the forehead.

"Why don't you go lay down and see if it'll calm down?" Jason asks setting down behind her.

"Because it doesn't help and I don't want to. I'm not fragile, I want to set here and talk to two of my favorite men." She leans back into him.

"Hmm, who else are your favorite men?" Jason asks kissing her neck.

"Keegan and Daddy." Cassie answers.

"Where is Keegan?" Jason asks looking around.

"He's out side with Kayla, I think he's bug hunting." I answer, "I heard her screaming earlier."

Cassie laughs, "She will scream bloody murder over a bug."

"I know, I left a whole container of them in her bed a couple months back." I say and kinda puff my chest out. I love to scare Kayla.

"Are you sure she's a slayer?" Jason asks with a laugh.

Cassie nods, "Trust me, she punches like a mach truck."

"This family never stops surprising me." Jason says putting his head on Cassie's shoulder.

Chapter 3 (Two weeks later, Still March 2018)

Faith POV….

I love food. I just have to say that. With the other three pregnancies I didn't really crave much, especially not with Keegan, I was doing good to keep anything down for the first five months. But finally I could, I basically just wanted ice cream.

Anyways, I haven't puked in over a week, and right now I'm desperate for food. But not just any food, I want Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes I know it isn't healthy for me or the baby, but I want it. And I feel like if I don't get it, I'm going to like…go crazy. I've been begging B for nearly an hour, so finally she's leaving to get Kentucky Fried Chicken. Just this ounce. We don't have it very often, but this ounce won't hurt anything.

Cassie's still pretty sick in the mornings but that's about it. Just in the mornings and sometimes late at night. She's still not feeling much like eating, but I know she loves KFC so maybe she'll eat it. I told B to pick up some soup and stuff too though.

I can't believe how fast the last couple weeks have gone by. It's like everything happened at ounce. First we went and picked up Cassie's and Jason's stuff at school. The teachers agreed to let them do the courses online, and take the finals online, but it won't be the same finals as everybody else. Cassie explained to her roommate what was going on and she said she'd make sure that if anything was said she'd make up some reason. So we got all her stuff home and they'll be able to finish this semester, which is a good thing. Then they're taking time off. Luckily the scholarships will hold.

Xander left last week. He had to get back to his business in Ohio. He owns a construction company, and his wife, Becca, teachers. So they had to go, but he's been calling Cassie every night. I don't mind Xander being around, because he loves Cassie.

Keegan had been asking when the babies are going to get here. But we've explained not for a long time. Doesn't stop him following us around asking. He's starting to get a little….upset too. He found Cassie crying the other day, and somehow now he blames the baby. Everything is the babies fault. Aiden dropped a glass of milk, and it was the babies fault.

B's been going a little crazy, cause Cassie really only wants me. I know she love B, and I know B's her Mom. But she just wants me. I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant too, or if it's just the connections we have. But she doesn't want B to see her upset. So she comes to me.

Aiden is doing pretty good. He seems to be able to calm us both down. Although he's getting a little annoyed that I can't go out riding four wheelers and stuff. I'm always the one he ruff houses with, and I'm to afraid that it'll hurt the baby. So I've not been riding. But I do go out and kick a football around and stuff. I'm just really careful, and I think he's almost afraid he'll hurt me. And I know he wouldn't hurt me for the world.

Then there's Kayla who's just sulking. That's the only way I can put it. Kayla and Cassie have always been close too, and now that Cassie isn't feeling good, she's not really doing the sister bonding thing as much. But she does try to spend time with Kayla. Then there's the fact that Kayla is eleven and she's almost a teen. God, the teen years again. I almost groan out loud just thinking about it. Cassie was pretty rebellious during her teen years.

Kennedy showed up last week too. You know who Kennedy is right? Big battle with the first? Tried to hook up with Red, yeah her. Anyways, she showed up. She's cool to have around I guess.

She's here to slay though. I can't go out anymore. It sucks cause I feel the need to slay. That's just such a big part of who I am. And it's so not fair that just because I'm sharing by body, that I can't go slaying. And yes this argument happens every time I get pregnant.

"Momma!" Aiden comes running into the living room.

"What's wrong?" I ask instantly.

"Kayla's calling me names!" He says, and I set back putting my hand over my heart.

"Don't scare me like that!" I say, "I thought something was really wrong."

"But it is!" Keegan says, "She threw a shoe at us."

"Why?" I ask, knowing something provoked her.

"Cause we said she couldn't go in Cassie's room. She's playing that angry music again." Keegan says.

I sigh, "See, I knew there was a reason." I get up off the couch, "You two go set the table."

"But I don't wanna!" Keegan whines.

"Do it anyways," I say and leave the room. I go to Cassie's door and open it a little. She's turned the music off, so Kayla's probably in there with her. "Everything okay?"

"They tattled didn't they? Little brats." Kayla says, I raise my eye brow.

"Don't call them brats Kay, look they just worry." Cassie says, "And for the record, you're really not supposed to be in here when I'm playing my music. But that's okay."

"But I wanted to talk to you." Kayla says.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, setting down on the bed.

"It's fine Momma." Kayla says.

"She's having boy issues, nothing a good sisterly talk won't cure." Cassie says with a smile, "And chocolate."

"Chocolate?" Kayla asks tilting her head sideways.

"Mmmmhmm, chocolate cures anything boy related, did you not know that?" Cassie asks with a smile.

Kayla laughs, "Musta forgot."

I laugh and get up, "There's Hershey's in the kitchen, but not till after supper."

"I thought maybe Kayla and me would go rent a movie," Cassie says, "And maybe camp out in here tonight, kick Jason to the couch."

"He's not going to be happy about that." Kayla says.

"Well, he can just live with it. Because to night is about sisters." Cassie insists, "Besides, he's slept there before."

When I leave they're still talking about boys. My girls are all grown up and talking about boys. Suddenly I feel old.

I move to the bedroom and set down a the desk. I open my email seeing one from Red, and I open it.

Faith,

I just thought I would write and see how things are going. It's been a couple weeks since I talked to any of you, I don't call because I don't want to disturb you. Because I know that you're not feeling good.

Tara has been really busy at the school. She's working with more advanced girls with their magic. She's really enjoying it too, and they are doing so good. But that keeps her busy and we haven't had time to get up there.

I talked to Xander, and he said that Cassie was doing okay. He said she seemed like she really was attached to you pretty bad. Just make sure that you don't stress yourself. Because stress isn't good for you or the baby.

God I can't believe that both of you are pregnant. It's just so exciting on one hand, but I know you're both scared. And just so you know we're there for you. Well I mean we're not there, we're here, but we could be there if you wanted us.

Okay well Tara should be home any minute. I hope to hear from you really soon.

Love Willow.

I close out the email, I really need to call her. Maybe I'll do that when we're done with supper. I'm sure she's worried. If it's one thing I know it's that Willow cares about Cassie.

Flashback…. (April 1999)

"Faith?" Red knocks on the door, "I uh, I wanted to see how you were feeling."

I put my magazine down and look at her, "I'm five by five Red."

"Buffy said you were uh, not feeling good today." Red says still standing in the doorway.

"I'm not going to bite, you can came in the room." I say, "And the nausea comes and goes. Right know it's on a go swing."

"So how far along are you?" She asks setting down gently on the bed.

"Three months," I say setting up a little more.

"So you're due in October, that's good. It's not hot in October so like you won't be all hot and sweaty when you get big. Oh not that you're going to get big. I mean not like fat, you'll get bigger, but like it'll be baby. So it'll be the baby and not you. And that's okay, cause I know that you'll be beautiful pregnant. I couldn't pull off pregnant, but I'm sure you can. I mean, it was shock. But I think that, like it was a good shock. I just can't believe that Xander is going to have a baby. Well I mean not in a literal having sort of way. You're the one that's going to have it, but he's the father. I can't see him a father. I don't know why, he'll make a good Dad."

"Red!" I say, and she looks at me with this little blush.

"Sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous."

"I noticed." I say with a laugh, "Look thanks for checking in, but I'm not like going to screw this up."

Red sets up a little straighter, "I know you aren't Faith. You're doing really good."

I smile a little and put my hand on my stomach. "So what other reason did you come in here for?"

"Oh to see if you felt like coming out tonight. Buffy said she'd meet us at the Bronze, and I know you were feeling bad, but since you're feeling better maybe you'd like to get out of the house?" Red says watching me.

"Sure," I shrug, "Sounds good to me."

"Do you want to get ready?" Red asks.

"Yeah, I'll just get dressed." I say and get up grabbing my favorite pair of blue jeans and a shirt. Slowly I move into the bathroom. I close the door, and undress I put the shirt on first then pull the pants up. When I get them up I try to button them, but can't. Shit, I think. I try again, but again I can't button them. So I go back into the bedroom.

"What's wrong?" Red asks frowning at me.

I huff loudly, "My pants wont fit."

"Aww, that's so cute you're going to start showing soon." Red almost squeal.

"It's not cute, it's it's…." I groan, "It's stupid, I mean I'm only three months!"

"But you should be gaining waight. It's good, it means the baby is growing, and we want that." Red says soothingly.

I run a hand threw my hair. "I need to find a pair of pants if we're going out. Cause I ant going until I find something."

"Faith! Kids!" B calls from the kitchen. I move into the kitchen, and help her unpack the food.

"I got Cassie some soup. And then I got her a thing of Mach and Cheese." B says and I nod, "And I got you the extra BBQ wings."

"Thanks B, I love you," I say and kiss the side of her head.

"This is a one time thing." B says, "You can't have it threw the whole pregnancy."

I roll my eyes, "I know that, but ounce isn't going to hurt me."

B smiles a little, "No it's not." She moves over to me and puts her hand on my stomach, "I can't wait until you start showing. You're so cute with the baby bump."

I huff, "I look fat and frumpy with the baby bump. I can't fit my clothes and I waddle."

She laughs a little, "Are they getting tight yet?"

"A little." I admit, reluctantly.

"Momma," Kayla says coming in, "Keegan is playing in the water in the bathroom again."

I roll my eyes, "What is it with that boy and water?"

"I think it's because you drank so much while you were pregnant with him, you drank like twice as much." B says with a little giggle.

I growl and nip at her neck, "I'll getcha back for that."

"Go get your son, and I'll finish getting the food out. Tell Cassie to come on and get ready to eat." B says moving to get the food out.

I go and get our son out of the bathroom, drying his arms off, and laying a towel on the floor to soak up the water. Then I move over to Cassie's door and knock, "Cassie, come on and eat."

Cassie opens her door and sticks her head out, "Okay, I'll be right there."

"You okay?" I ask frowning.

"Yeah, I just was changing clothes, I got hot again." Cassie says.

I nod and go back to the table.

Cassie POV….

The morning sickness is not quiet as bad, basically it's just in the mornings. But that's okay, ounce I get it over with I do actually feel a little better. However, I am still tired.

Kayla is having a hard time dealing with me being here, and being so emotional. Then Momma being emotional too, it's getting to her. She's sensitive to other peoples feelings and moods. And then she's having boy trouble. Apparently she's got a crush on this boy in her class, but he's a jerk or something. So tonight we're doing the sister thing.

Keegan is blaming the baby for everything. Mine at least. He found me crying and Mom explained the baby was making me emotional and he somehow mistaked that for the baby causing all the trouble in the house. Keegan is only four, so he doesn't exactly understand everything.

Momma's morning sickness is done. She's been eating everything in sight. Tonight she sent Mom after KFC. But Mom said it was only this ounce cause it isn't good for the baby. Then again, I know that if she ask for it again she'll go get it. Not to often, but she's not going to deny her either.

I heard Momma grumbling about her pants being a little tight. So I know she's gaining weight. And really that's good, cause it means the baby is okay. She's two weeks farther then me. I'm ten weeks and she's twelve weeks.

She just knocked on my door and said supper is here so I finish getting dressed in my boxers and t-shirt. It got really hot, and I was afraid that if I got to hot I'd throw up. So I had to do something to cool off.

Jason is beside himself, because he doesn't know what to do. He's been riding four wheelers, and stuff with the younger kids. But he's always there if I say I need him. And he cuddles up to me at night. My breasts are so sore, that we haven't really had sex. Which it kinda freaks him out, he's afraid that one of the younger kids will hear us. So I asked Momma if we could do something to sound proof the room, and she said yeah.

I go into the kitchen and set down next to him, rubbing his inner thigh. "So what's going on?" I ask the room in general.

"I got you the Mac and Cheese Cassie, I figured it might be softer on your stomach." Mom says, "And there's soup too."

I smile, "Thank Mom." She's trying to help. And I appreaicate it, but I just want Momma most of the time. I can't help it, I just don't feel like Mom will get it.

"How are you feeling?" She asks looking me over, "You don't look as pale today."

"I'm fine, really. Matter of fact, I'm going to eat chicken too." I say with a smile, "I'm actually a little hungry."

"Good." Mom nods.

"How was school?" I turn to Aiden first.

"It was boring." He says, "And I got a project to do this weekend."

"What kind?" I ask.

"I gotta make a volcano." He shrunches his noise.

"Hey that could be fun." I say nudging his arm. "I always liked doing stuff like that. Maybe I could help."

"You can't use the chemicals," Momma says, "But you could help build it."

I nod a little and turn to Kayla, "What about you?"

She shrugs, "School was just stupid. My teacher is an idiot."

"Don't call your teacher an idiot?" Mom says, "What did she do?"

"She got the wrong answer to a math problem and she deducted a point when I pointed it out. Said I was being smart-alecky." She says rolling her eyes, "Like I ever am."

I try not to laugh. "Oh Jason, would you mind sleeping on the couch so Kayla and me and do the sister thing tonight?"

He looks at me a little strange, "Sister thing?"

"Yeah, watch movies, hang out, talk…" I say giving him my puppy dog eyes.

He laughs a little, "Do I really have a choice in this?"

"No, not really." I answer leaning over to kiss him.

"Then I suppose that I will be sleeping on the couch tonight." He says with a laugh.

We eat supper chatting happily among ourselves. It feels good to be a family again. And I feel safe, which right know if a good thing. Ounce we're done Kayla and me go rent movies, then come back and camp out in my room.

About nine o'clock Jason comes in and kisses me goodnight, because he knows that I'll be asleep before to late. Kayla and I are talking and watching movies and over all it's a really good night.

Jason POV…

So I'm sleeping on the couch. No we didn't get into a fight, she's having a girls night with Kayla. Anyways, I went in about nine and kissed her goodnight. It's now after midnight and I can't sleep. I can't fall asleep without her.

I hear a noise and look over seeing her standing in the doorway. Setting up a little I whisper, "Cassie are you okay?"

She moves closer ringing her hands, "Yeah…"

"What are you doing out of bed?" I ask frowning.

"I couldn't sleep without you," She says, "And…."

As she gets closer I can smell her arousal. I have to keep myself from laughing.

"I need you," she says standing above me. "I need you know." She says.

I stop laughing, "Huh?" I say as she climbs on top of be bending down and kissing him. She opens her robe and she's not wearing anything. My heart is racing.

Gently I run my hands along her stomach, it's still flat. She bends down and kisses me again. I let our tongues battle, mine finally winning dominance. She slips my shirt over my head on undoes my pants pulling them down. I'm already so hard it almost hurts. She settles herself where the tip of my errection is at her entrance but she doesn't let me enter just yet.

She bends down kissing me and rubbing herself against me, I groan in sweet agany. My hands find her breasts and she sucks in a breath, but she doesn't seem to be hurt. Gently I kneed her breasts, forming them to my hands.

Finally she sets back, lifting her hips and I guild myself in place. She lowers herself onto me and we both moan. Slowly she rocks back and forth, then moving her hips up and down causing me to go deeper and deeper into her. I let her take charge for the most part, but I slip one hand between our bodies playing with her clit. She moans louder and throws her head back, arching her back, really she's a beautiful sight.

She bends forward and I know she's almost there, I am too. I can feel it building agonizingly slowly, but this is her game, and I don't want to hurt her. She's speeds up groaning in frustration. Gently I lift myself with a grunt and plunge deeply into her, holding her waste to make sure she doesn't fall. She screams in delight, and if I were thinking clearly I'd be scared we woke up the kids, but I'm not. Because I myself am in a happy land, as I feel my seed erupt into her. She collapses on top of me, trying to regulate her breathing.

As she comes down from the high I stroke her hair, she's crying. She does that sometimes, it's not a pregnancy thing. Like after a big slay when she's been all worked up, she'll cry. But this is more a pregnancy thing I guess. She hides her face in my chest kissing it gently. I move a little and cover us up.

"You shouldn't be laying on your stomach." I whisper.

"I'm fine," she whispers back, "I just needed that so bad."

"Shhh," She's still crying a little, "It's okay, I'm right here."

"Will you love me when I'm fat?" Cassie asks snuggling closer.

"I will always love you, you'll always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. And you won't be fat, you'll be all baby. That's a good thing Cassie." I say kissing the top of her head.

"But I will be fat, and I'll be moody and I'll be hormonal. Will you still want to be with me when I'm the size of a house?"

I turn her head to were she's looking at me, "There's no other woman for me." I say, "You're it, you're my only." I reach down and kiss her, "I don't care of you get the size of a mansion, you'll still be beautiful to me. Cassandra, I love you so much."

She smiles a little, "You're my only too."

"Good, cause one of these day's I'm going to marry you." I kiss her again, "And then we're going to have a honeymoon and you're going to come back pregnant again, that's how much I love you being pregnant."

She giggles a little, "I don't think so mister. I don't know that we're having any more after this one. It's been hell the last few weeks."

She's right it has, with being scared and morning sickness and all that shit, it's been hell on her. And I've had to just set back and watch it. Thank God Faith was there the last two weeks, she's kept Cassie pretty calm.

"But it'll be worth it." I say and kiss her noise.

"What do you want?"

I wrap my arm around her a little tighter, "Hmm, I want a little girl who looks exactly like you."

"What if it's a boy?"

"Then I want him to be a mix of both of us. My temper, cause it's not as bad, but your heart cause it's like the size of Texas." I say with smile.

"Would you be upset if it were part vamp?" She asks playing with my chest hair.

I frown a little, "No, I mean, whatever it is, it's going to be strong. It's gonna be slayer for sure, but I mean if it has a little vamp in it that'll be fine."

She looks up at me, "I want it to be just like you. I want it to be strong and capable, and everything."

I smile at her, "Well, lets hope for a mix huh?"

"Yeah," She nods and yawns a little. "I should get back to bed but I'm way to comfortable."

I gently turn us on our side, the couch is the size of a twin bed, so it's not big, but it's enough. "Then just stay here."

I stay awake for awhile watching her sleep, but finally my eyes drift closed as well…..

What the hell? What is that shaking? Make it stop. I turn over on my back and open one eyes to see Keegan staring back at me. "AH!" I set up.

Keegan steps back and giggles, "You ant got no clothes on."

I look around, shit, he's right, not only to I not have any clothes on, but neither does Cassie. Okay stay calm, stay calm.

"Where's your Moms?" I ask making sure Cassie is covered.

"In the kitchen," He answers, "Why don't you have clothes on?"

Shit, damn, you have to go threw the kitchen to get to the bathroom. That's it, Faith is going to kill me. I mean yeah she's already pregnant, but her four year old brother just caught us cuddled up naked together.

"Okay, why don't you go in there, or go to your room and uh, I'll wake Cassie up and we'll be in there in just a second." I ask, he bites his bottom lip.

"MOMMA!" He runs from the room, "CASSIE AND JASON ARE NAKED ON THE COUCH!" Geezs can that kid scream or what?

I gently shake Cassie, "Come on baby, you gotta wake up." I say.

She stirs a little, "I don't wanna go to the park."

I laugh a little, "Come on Baby, time to get up."

She groans a little and opens her eyes, "What?"

"Keegan just caught us," I say and her eyes pop open. "What?" She looks around setting up clutching the throw blanket to her, "You let me fall asleep?"

"I thought that we'd be up first." I say, "And you were so tired."

"Tell me Momma isn't up yet."

"Uh…."

"Cassandra Lehane!" Buffy says from the door, "What in the name of God happened in here last night."

"Uh…." We look at each other.

Faith moves past Buffy, "Don't worry about it B, he's not tramitized, hell he's pretty much caught us in the act. Ya'll are cleaning the couch, but first get dressed it's time to eat."

I nod my head a little. It's so not funny.

Cassie POV…

Talk about embarrassing, my moms just caught me sleeping on the couch naked with Jason. Yeah not a way I wanted to start my day, then again….I just couldn't hold it any longer. It was right then or bust. And then I kinda fell asleep. So now I'm heading to my room to get clothes and going to take a shower.

Ounce I've gotten my clothes, I head for the bathroom closing the door and setting down to pee. God does the pissing ever s top, and I've not even gained weight yet. Anyways, I pee, and when I go to wipe, there's little spots of red. Oh fuck.

"MMMOOOMMMMAAAAA!" I scream, and I hear her running down the hall she doesn't wait for me to unlock the door just breaks it and comes in. "I'm bleeding."

Momma looks down at the blood on the toilet paper and her face pales a little, "Get dressed," she says urgently, she opens the door, "B!"

"What?" Mom asks coming to the door.

"She's spotting, call the doctor and tell him we'll be there in a few minutes." Momma says.

"Okay, how bad?" Mom asks.

"I don't think it's too bad yet, but I don't want to take a chance she could lose the baby." Momma says

Lose the baby? Did she say lose the baby? I look in horror as Momma turns back to me. I don't have to say a word she knows I heard, and understood what she said. Gently she helps me get dressed.

"Are you cramping at all?" She asks pulling my shirt down, and putting her hand on my stomach.

I shake my head no, I don't trust my voice. It'll shake and tell her how scared I am. Momma nods her head a little looking over my face. I can't hide my fear from her, she can sense it. But she also knows I'm trying to be brave, therefore she won't hug me or touch me more then necessary or my control will falter. And it's important at least until we get out of the house, so as not to scare the younger kids.

Together Momma, Jason and me head for town. I'm quiet the whole way, to much is going on in my head. I was getting use to the idea of having a baby and know it could be taken away. Laying my head back against in back seat, Jason right beside me, his hand on my stomach.

"She okay?" Momma asks from the front seat.

"I think so." Jason answers, I squeeze the hand on my stomach to let him know that everything is okay.

The rest of the ride is pretty much silent, until finally we pull up in front of the doctors office, and climb out. I'm still not talking, but that's okay. We go inside and I'm ushered back without even sighing in. This really must be a big deal. Ounce back in exam Momma helps me undress. I look over at Jason and he's ringing his hands. Poor guy is so nervous, and this can't be good for Momma. Oh God, what if Momma stresses to much and looses the baby.

"Just breathe," Momma says kissing my forehead, "It's fine okay?"

When did I stop breathing? I take a deep breath letting it out slowly and set down on the exam table. We don't have to wait long before the doctor comes in.

"I heard you were bleeding a little." He says, "First thing I want to do is get you on a monitor. Make sure this little one is okay. You're ten weeks right?"

"Yeah," Jason answers, "Did I hurt her? When we…ya know?"

The doctor gives a small laugh, "Sometimes bleeding can accure after sex, but usually it's nothing serious. We just need to check things out."

"Oh," Jason says looking down at me.

"It's okay Jason, just calm down." I say quietly holding a hand out to him.

"Okay, this will be cold," the nurse says and I brace myself. Hey, that is cold! But I don't care, because know I'm listening to the sound of my baby's heart beat. And it's beautiful. A collective sigh goes up among us.

"Strong heart beat doctor," the nurse says looking at the monitor, "I'll leave it on for a few and see if it fluctuates to much."

"Thanks," the doctor says, "I want to do an internal exam, make sure you haven't torn your cervix."

I nod and look up at Jason who's suddenly pale, "What's wrong?"

"That's….it's….." He points at the monitor blinking. "That's our baby's heart beat?"

I nod a little, "Yeah."

"It…it sounds so….real." he whispers, and I can't help but laugh. He's right it does kinda sound real.

"I'm gonna go call B, tell her things look okay so far." Momma says stepping out of the room.

Jason moves beside me taking my hand, "I love you. I mean I loved you before, but the fact that you're carrying out child is like….off the charts I love you."

"Ouch," I say as the doctor starts the exam.

"What?" Jason looks over my face.

"The exam hurts a little is all." I give him my brave face, "And I love you too."

Chapter Four (One month later April 2018)

Jason POV

I'm going insane, this is insanity. There's no other way to describe this. I suppose I should tell you what this insanity is huh? I'm attempting to help the kids bake cupcakes for whatever reason. Why am I doing this? Oh right cause they wanted to do a surprise for their moms and Cassie, who aren't home at the moment. Cassie and Faith had a doctor's appointment and I said I'd keep the kids. I wanted to go but Kennedy flaked out, okay so she really did have an emergency, but still.

Either way I'm here with the kids, and personally I think it's Buffy and Faith's way of paying me back. Keegan is covered from head to toe in chocolate frosting, Aiden and Kayla are fighting over who's cupcakes are the best.

"Mine are the best," Aiden says, "Cause they got all those sprinklely thingys on it."

"No mine are better cause the frosting is level" Kayla says.

"Okay enough!" I say, "nobody's cupcakes are prettier or cuter or cooler then anybody elses okay? Could you please help me clean your brother up?" I ask as I watch Keegan bounce up and down.

"Mom's going to be pissed cause Momma's gonna be all tired and he's going to be off the wall," Kayla says crossing her arms over her chest, "And it's not our fault he ate half the jar."

She's got a point, Buffy is going to be pissed, and not only that her four year old is bounce off the walls but her kitchen looks like a disaster zone. How do you use fifteen bowls to make and ice 48 cupcakes? And half the butter knifes in the drawer. Just tell me how do you that!

"Okay, take him and clean him up, change is clothes too, and I'm going to load the dishwasher." I say and head for the dishwasher.

Thirty minutes later I'm setting on the couch watching a movie with Keegan, who's all cleaned up. He really is a good kid, when he wants to be.

"And then the goose put the baby in Momma's belly." Keegan says nodding his head and looking completely serious.

"Let me get this straight," I say attempting not to laugh, "You wrote to Santa last year and asked him for a baby brother, and he had to talk to the geese and the goose put the baby in Momma's belly?"

"Mmmmhmmm" he nods his head, I'm about to answer when the door opens.

"I'm sorry!" Buffy says as I watch Faith stomp into the house, "I didn't mean it that way!"

"You think I'm fat and you know it!" Faith stops and turns around, "I'm not fat!"

"Aww baby of course not," Buffy says, "I just meant it was good that you're gaining weight."

"But I don't wanna get fat and have you look at me like I'm a pig!" Faith whines.

Yeah pregnancy is weird, and Faith pregnant is plum damn scary at times. This is one of those times.

"I'm not going to look at you like you're a pig, because to me you're always beautiful." Buffy says gently stepping forward.

"Always?" Faith asks quietly.

"Always," Buffy confirms.

Faith wipes tears, yes tears which have been happen far more frequently (see scary shit), anyways she wipes tears from her eyes and gives Buffy a timid smile.

"Sorry…"

"Don't be, it's just hormones." Buffy laughs a little.

I look around for Cassie but she's not here, "Where's Cassie?"

"She's outside I think," Buffy says and looks toward the door.

Frowning I get up and head for the porch, when I get there she's setting in the rocking chair. I watch her for a moment and then clear my throat. She looks over and smiles at me, so I'm assuming nothing's wrong.

"You okay?" I ask anyways.

She nods and looks back out over the yard, "I'm okay."

I raise my eye brow, she doesn't look upset or anything. She looks… platen maybe….no thoughtful. I think it's thoughtful. Slowly I set down beside her and look out over the yard as well. It's beautiful here, I've always loved it. There's about an acre in front of the house, with a white wooden fence that surrounds it. A little ways down there's a barn, and behind that a bunch of trees, which I know hides a pond. On either side of the house are long rolling fields. It's April know so things are just kinda waking up. In the field off to the right there are horses grazing.

My eyes roam over to the horses there's one new fold and a mare about to give birth any day. Faith usually works with the horses but she's hired somebody since she's pregnant. Kennedy does a little but she doesn't know much. Cassie knows everything about horses. All total there are about six horses.

I glance back at Cassie, who is staring out over the front yard still but I don't think she's really seeing it she's lost in thought. I don't want to push her or she'll get upset, but I really would like to know what's going on.

Again I let my eyes wonder this time to the field on the left, usually there's corn there but not this year. This year they decided to grow hay instead. So it's now a field of grass, but it'll be awhile before they can cut it. Out of the corner of my eye I see a little rabbit hop out into view in the yard from the field. I guess it was having it's dinner or something. I watch as it cleans it's face, apparently happy with it's meal.

"Have you ever noticed how full of life everything is?" Cassie asks softly.

I turn my attention to my girl friend and contemplate my answer. Have I really noticed? "I don't know." I answer honestly. I'm alive, I know that much. But I don't know if I really realized how alive everything else was.

"I do." She answers turning to look at me. "I notice how energetic the kids are, I notice how my moms are, I even noticed the bunny." She turns back and looks at the rabbit.

"I suppose I do, just never thought about it." I say wonder what has brought on this conversations.

Cassie nods a little, "Me either. I go through the day and I don't even think about it. I noticed I was gaining weight and just bought bigger clothes."

I nod my head a little, I suppose this is about her weight too.\

"But today," She continues, "I noticed something completely different. I noticed life." I frown a little, okay this isn't about weight. She looks sideways and gives this little laugh. "I noticed the life inside me. The one that's growing daily. Hell by the hour. And do know what?"

I shake my head. So she felt the baby move, that's awesome.

"It didn't scare me. For the first time I'm not scared of this baby, or what means or how much it will change things. I'm excited, I want to meet this little person we created. WE Jason. We created this little being." There's tears in her eyes so I reach out gently and wipe them away with a small smile.

"I know," I whisper, "Isn't it an amazing thought? That this baby will be the perfect mix of us. Maybe a little more you then me."

She laughs and shakes her head, "No, more of you."

I lean in gently and place my lips over hers but don't move them. I pull back and lay my forehead against hers, "I love you so much."

"I know, I love you too." She pauses, "I don't want to get married right know, but someday I do."

Kayla POV

Geezs there on the porch making out again? Isn't that what created this whole mess? I sigh and shake my head as I head up to the house. I was riding one of the horses. It's really the only freedom I have is riding, and it's awesome. Momma's taught all of us how to ride and care for horses, I suppose you wouldn't think about her being like really good with horses, but she is. Mom's not, she's just not an animal person I suppose or something. Momma says she can't keep a goldfish alive but she can raise four kids.

Anyways, I got done with the ride and brushed out the horse and fed it, and now I'm heading back to the house. I step onto the porch and Cassie pulls away slightly and looks over giving me a smile. I can't help but smile back because she's my sister.

Cassie may be a pain in the butt sometimes, and this pregnancy is making her do insane stuff, but she's still my big sister. And that means a lot more then you would think. Cassie taught me a lot of things. And when Keegan was born and I kinda got put on the back burner she made me feel included. It's hard for parents when a new baby comes into the picture. It's hard on the other kids too. But Cassie's the greatest, and I know she'll make a good Mom. In a way she's helped raise us all.

She was seven or so when I was born and they said she fell in love with me. Her and Momma are…well a lot a like I suppose. They have a different relationship then any of us. I don't think you'd say they were closer or that Momma was picking favorites it's just different.

Momma was younger then Cassie when she got pregnant. I think that makes the difference. And even though she's older, she's still scared. Momma that is. Nothing scares Cassie. Or at least I'm pretty sure nothing scares her. Not a lot scares Momma, but some things do.

I go into the house and Momma is setting curled up in Mom's lap. Shaking my head I look around for Keegan. Hmmm, he's not in here I wonder where he went. Matter of fact where is Aiden? Those two get into way to much trouble if you ask me. But you didn't so I'll drop the subject.

I move into the kitchen and stop in the doorway. Aiden is standing by the counter, with Keegan next to him.

"But I don't understand." Keegan says.

"Look, just be nice to Kayla okay?" Aiden says with a sigh.

Okay so what are they up to? Or better yet what is Aiden up to?

"But why, you said I could bug her and not you." Keegan says hands on his hips.

"I know, but I lied okay, you can't bug her. Look, she's our sister and I don't want her to like kick my butt or anything." Aiden says with a shrug, "Besides she's a girl and you shouldn't be mean to girls."

Where did he learn that one? He's always bugging me.

"Is Momma gonna have a bubba or a sissy?" Keegan asks.

"I donno." Aiden shrugs, "What do you want?"

"I brother," Keegan answers taking a bite of his cookie.

"I don't care what we get." Aiden says.

I stand there for another minute, wondering if I should interrupt them. I hear something behind me in the living room, Mom and Momma are talking softly. I wonder, do I want a brother or a sister?

"Hey Kayla, come get a cookie!" Keegan says coming toward me, hugging me around the waste. And suddenly, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl either.

Willow POV (May 2018)

I get out of the car and Keegan practically attacks me, "Auntie Willow! Auntie Willow!"

"Wow there, boy you're half grown." I laugh, and ruffle his hair. He's way bigger then last time I saw him, but then again he's four. I put an arm around Aiden and kiss his forehead, "And you're practically grown too."

"Eww, Aunt Will!" Aiden wipes my kiss away, I laugh and shake my head.

As we start for the house I reach out and take Tara's hand, as she leads Kayla toward the house. I look up and see Cassie standing on the porch, arms holding her midsection. I smile remembering when Faith was pregnant with her…

(Flashback July 1999)

Faith stands arms around her midsection trying to look unfazed by the scene around her. I laugh a little as her eyes get big when a woman who looks like she's about to pop walks past.

"Come on Faith, please look happy to be here?" Buffy almost begs.

"What?" Faith turns toward her, "I'm happy."

"You look bored out of your mind, don't you want to pick her something out?" Buffy asks."I donno," Faith shrugs.

I walk up beside Faith and lean in so that she can hear me, "If you at least act interested in buying baby stuff I promise we will buy you food." I say.

Faith laughs and shakes her head, "You better be glad this kid is hungry."

"That kid is always hungry," I smile and laugh a little.

"So, does the little one have a name?" a sales lady asks, causing Faith to glare.

"Uh, I don't think she's picked it out yet," I quickly answer with a smile.

"How far along are you sweetie?" The woman asks extending her hand slightly, I cringe and step quickly in front of Faith.

"She's six months, due in October, and it's a girl. If you wouldn't mind, we'd like to look around a little more." I say politely, hoping she gets the message.

"Oh, Of course, if I can help…." She says but I'm already moving Faith away, who's still glaring.

Once out of range, I sigh. "You can't be nice to them?" I ask glancing sideways, to see Faith rubbing her side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Faith shakes her head taking a deep breath, "She's just active and stuff."

I look down toward her stomach, wondering exactly what if feels like when she kicks. "So uh, do you have an idea of names?"

"Not really," Faith shrugs. "Xander likes Cassandra."

"Oh!" I get excited, "That's an awesome name!"

"Yeah, Cassie for short." Faith nods her head picking up a breast pump, "What the hell do you do with this?" she ask looking toward me.

I go red, "Uh, well, you uh…that's to say that….it's a pump."

"What exactly am I pumping with it?" she raises her eye brow.

"You're breast." Buffy answers from beside us, "It says it's a breast pump." She points on the box, "Do you want one?"

"Hell no!" Faith says, shaking her head.

"Good, we'll get it anyways." Buffy says and I can't help but giggle.

"You just want to torture me." Faith mumbles, "Ouch! Watch the ribs kid," She rubs her stomach, when I look over I can see a little foot sticking out under her shirt. Faith lets out a sigh, "Go ahead," she says.

I look up confused, "What?"

"Go ahead and touch my stomach," she says. Slowly I reach out and put my hand over where I see the baby's foot, and sure enough there's a strong steady kick underneath my hand. I'm mesmerized by it, "Pretty cool huh?" Faith asks and I nod my head little looking up at her.

"It's amazing," I answer quietly, "I can't wait to meet her."

Faith nods her head, then turns and walks away.

End flashback

I hug Cassie, rubbing her back a little. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," She says pulling back, "I can't wait to find out what this little one is."

I smile, "I know you can't."

Tara hugs her too, "You look wonderful."

"I look like a fat cow, and I'm only four and half months." Cassie laughs and puts her arm around Jason, "And I blame him."

"It's not all his fault," Buffy says shaking her head, "Faith's inside."

"Good, she okay?" I ask.

"She's fine," Buffy smiles reassuringly, "She's just watching TV."

"Oh," I say and follow them inside.

Sure enough Faith is setting with a blanket watching a movie, "Hey," she calls turning around, "I thought you said it was just Ken?"

"I said Ken was stopping by today," Buffy corrects, "And I thought that was her, it wasn't."

"I can see that," Faith says standing up, "So how's things Red, T?"

"Good," Tara answers, smiling at Faith, "Things are really good."

"Good, good." Faith nods, she's always a little uncomfortable when she really starts showing. And I look down I can't help but smile. "Yeah yeah, I know I'm a damn horse," She rolls her eyes. "But it's only one, I swear."

"I didn't say it wasn't," I answer with a laugh.

"So, uh…" Faith looks around uncomfortable, and I wonder for a moment why she's so uncomfortable around us, until I see a tiny foot sticking out from under her shirt.

I laugh a little, "A bit busy today?" I ask, reaching out to touch her stomach, "So how are you feeling?"

"I'm good, doctor says things are going good." Faith says as she moves to set down.

(later that night)

Cassie POV

We spent most of the day just hanging out with Willow and Tara and getting caught up with them. They seem to be doing pretty well. After dinner Willow and I decided to take a walk my ourselves, it's something we've always done.

I glance sideways to see her looking up at the sky, and look up too. "Beautiful night huh?" I ask.

"Gorgeous," She says, and I feel her eyes back on me. "So how are you?"

"I'm good," I answer rubbing my stomach, "A little nervous maybe, but okay."

"Having a baby will have that effect on you," she laughs a little. "You're mother was so nervous with you, I swear she didn't sleep at all. Although, you didn't help the sleeping pattern."

"You mean after I was born?" I ask leaning against the white fence in the yard.

"No," Willow laughs, "I mean before you were born too. You used to wait until she would go to bed and then kick the hell out of her, until she went and got Joyce and Joyce talked to you a little and you settled down and went to sleep."

"I miss her," I answer with a sad sigh.

"You do have her middle name. Cassandra Summer Lehane. Faith wanted you to have something of meaning." Willow says looking over the fence down at the ground.

I turn around an mimic her position, "She's scared shitless."

"Faith is wonderful mother, I saw that instantly, before you were ever born." Willow raises her head and looks out over the field. "And you're a lot like her."

"I'm not so sure I'm gonna be as good a mother as her. But I'm sure I'll do my best." I answer standing up and rubbing the spot where the baby is kicking. It hurts and it's making me uncomfortable.

"Strong kicker?" Willow asks looking at my face, I nod my head. "You were too."

"This one is part demon," I remind her.

She shrugs a little, "You're part Faith and part Xander with a little Buffy mixed in, no wonder it's so strong."

I laugh and shake my head, "There's more then a little of Mom mixed in."

Willow stands up straight, "I'd like to hope there's a little Willow and Tara in there too."

"A lot more then you know," I answer, "I miss you Aunt Willow, and I miss Aunt Tara. I miss school and I desperately want this baby to have the best. I'm scared I'm not enough, what if I mess up?" I feel the tears and I blink them back, "I'm going crazy."

"No," she laughs, "you're just pregnant, and you're scared."

"Kayla thinks I'm not scared of anything," I say looking up toward the house where I can see her standing on the porch.

"She's your little sister Honey," Willow says and puts her arm around me, "And for her, you're even bigger the Faith. When she was born, you went into the room took one look at her and said 'that's my baby sister and nobody better mess with her', and every time she cried you were right there."

I laugh a little, "I remember, at least a little."

"She was your baby in a lot of ways, and when Keegan was born it was you and Kayla and Aiden to sorta fend for yourself."

I smile putting my arm around Willow's waist and lay my head on her shoulder, "She's going to be a fighter isn't she?"

Willow is silent for a while, as if contemplating the question. "Kayla is a lot like you, and you are a lot like Faith. Yes, Kayla will be a fighter. In fact, she already is. For all the protection that Faith attempted to give you kids, you've all turned out to be fighters, and know more about demons then we ever new when we were your age."

I nod my head against her shoulder, "I was hoping the fight against evil would end before I had my own kids."

Willow laughs softly, "Sweetie, let me tell you a secriet. The fight against evil will never end, it's at eternal battle."

And in that moment I new it was completely and utterly true. Just as I new that the fight would be harder once this baby gets here.

Tara comes to stand beside us, her silent peace flowing into the night and surrounding us.

(Two Weeks Later, Early June 2018)

Dawn POV

I set down at the table with Buffy, "How's Faith and Cassie?"

"They're good, I'm so glad you could make it," Buffy answers and I lay my hand on hers.

"Me too," I look out over the yard, seeing my children and Buffy's playing outside in the water, "It gets us out of the house."

"Any ideas about when the house will be ready?"

I laugh, and shake my head, "No, they said maybe in two weeks maybe in a couple months."

"Well, you're welcome here until you get the house fixed, or buy another," Buffy nods her head and gives me a smile.

"Thanks, but unfortunately we can't buy a new one. I mean, if we sold that one we wouldn't get much out of it, and that's putting it lightly," I take a sip of my tea, "Since when do you serve sweet tea?"

Buffy laughs, "Since Cassie is craving it."

"Oh," I nod, "Replacing the coffee?"

"Yup," Buffy's smile becomes more nostalgic, "Can you believe I'm gonna be a Mom and a grandma within about two weeks of each other?"

I laugh, "There's something so wrong about that."

"Yeah, but I know it's gonna be okay," Buffy looks out seeing Faith spraying the kids, "She really shouldn't be running around with them."

"She's fine, let her have her fun."

"You're right, I just worry."

We set there in silence for a few minutes both lost in thought, when Daniel comes in, "Momma, can I go with Aunt Faith?"

"Where's she going?" I ask.

"She's going to the store, and she needs my help picking out the watermelons, please Momma?" Daniel is six, and he loves his Aunt Faith. I sigh and nod my head a little, "I got the best Momma in the world!" He grabs me and gives me a hug.

"Be careful," I say to Faith who nods a little smiling.

"I'm taking Keegan too, Aiden wants to stay here."

Buffy nods, "Don't lift anything to heavy."

Faith rolls her eyes and herds the two boys out the door.

Brit comes in setting down beside me, "Momma, can I go with Cassie?"

"No," I say instantly.

"But you let Daniel go with Aunt Faith!" she's four, she really likes to pout.

"That's because Aunt Faith is going to the store, not the doctor." I answer.

Just then Cassie appears from her bedroom, "God nothing fits!"

I laugh, "Welcome to the world of being pregnant."

"Very funny, and while you're here, we HAVE to have a shopping trip," Cassie sinks down in the chair beside me, "So tell me again, are you gonna be here long?"

"Yes," Buffy answers, "She'll be here until they get the house done."

Cassie bites her bottom lip, "I got uh, I got a question, not that I don't love having you here, it's just that, I…well Jason has this idea that we should buy a house, and he's got the uh, money in the trust fund, but I don't really want to move just yet. And yeah, he…kinda already bought the house, it's like a half mile from here…what if you….uh…"

"When did he buy a house?" Buffy asks.

"Last month, and it's a good house, no real repairs needed. I asked him last night if maybe you and the kids could stay there, till your house gets done, and by then I should be ready to move in with the baby and everything. But I really don't want to leave until I'm sure I can take care of the baby and stuff…" Cassie sighs, "If you wanted to…."

I hug her, "I would love to, and for the record, you're gonna be great."

"Hey, I learned from the best," Cassie laughs when Buffy beams, "I think she thinks I'm talking about her," Cassie whispers to me loud enough Buffy can hear it.

"I think so too," I whisper back.

"Should I tell her I was talking about you?" Cassie questions teasing in her voice.

"Hmm, I donno, her head might deflate and make a big mess," I answer, as Buffy glares and rolls her eyes.

"You two are just to much sometimes," Buffy answers.

Cassie smiles and moves around the table, "But I love you Mommie!" She hugs Buffy giving her a big kiss.

"Sure you do," Buffy laughs, "Go find out if we need a blue or pink crib."

Cassie stands up straight, and rubs her stomach. "What would you like, boy or girl?"

"Doesn't matter to me," Buffy shrugs, "I just want healthy on both accounts."

"I want a girl," Jason says joining us.

"I want a boy," I say, "Cause the girls in this family are just way to hard headed."

Cassie laughs, "She's got a point."

Jason rolls his eyes, "God don't I know it, are you ready?"

"Yup, Oh I talked to Aunt Dawn too, she said that she'd love to move into the house till hers is ready. It'd be close and it'd cut back on people in this one. This house really wasn't built for that many people, not that I don't like having her around, but in a couple months, Dad's gonna come back, and stay awhile, he wants to be here when the baby's born." Cassie rambles off walking toward the door. I shake my head and laugh, pulling Brit onto my lap.

Buffy and I spend the next couple hours setting there talking, Faith joins us sometime in between, and together we set there and reminisce.

It isn't long before Cassie and Jason come back to the house, his chest puffed out already. I can't help but laugh, he looks like a pecack, minus the feathers. Cassie is smiling ear to ear.

"So do we have a girl or boy on the way?" Buffy asks.

"Well, Grandma," Cassie smiles devilishly at Buffy as her and Faith both glare, "You have a grandson on the way."

"A boy?!" Buffy asks, "Really?"

"Yup," Cassie nods.

Faith grins, "Can't wait."

"That means there's a little girl and little boy on the way," I say and smile, "Congratulations," I hold my hand out, "now hand over the evidence."

Cassie laughs, and hands over the ultrasound. Sure enough, I can see a little winky dink. I pass it to Buffy, who points it out to Faith.

"Cassie!" Daniel squeals, he loves Cassie to, and grabs her around the waste, "I went to the store and picked out the watermelons, and Keegan said he could pick up the big one but couldn't. And I think I got a bug bite outside, cause it's all itchy, so Momma put some medicine on it. Can I play Shoots and Latters with you later? I love that game, but Momma says she's sick of it, and Brit cheats. So does Aunt Faith," he makes a disgusted face.

Cassie laughs, "Wow, slow down there tiger, did you really help pick out the watermelons? Are they big ones?" Daniel nods his head vigerously smiling ear to ear.

I laugh a little, "He's way to much like you."

"Me?" Cassie asks pointing her fingers at herself.

"You could talk more then any child I ever new," I laugh, "And you would talk so fast, nobody could understand you."

Cassie laughs, "I still do." She sets down and pulls Daniel onto her lap, Buffy tells her to be careful and she rolls her eyes.

It's so good to be home. And if it's one thing I'm sure of it's that, Buffy home is my home. Sure I have a home of my own, all be it under contruction at the moment, but it doesn't always feel like home. When I come here, I can relax. I know somebody will help with the kids, somebody will be there if I'm to tired or whatever. Not that I don't have help at home, I do. Mike, my husband, is a wonderful man. He's also a hard worker, which leave me home with the kids while he 'brings home the bacon'.

I don't have a problem with being a stay at home Mom, as long as I get a break. Which is why it's so nice to spend some time with Buffy and Faith. I get a break. Several actually.

"I want a baby sister, Momma," Brit says.

I shake my head, "No, I'm done."

"But you swore to me you would have two girls," Buffy says, "So you got my hopes up to. You are obligated to have another child."

"I'll adopt, but this girl is not doing the pregnant thing again," I shake my head a little more.

"You didn't enjoy it?" Cassie pretends to be shocked, "The screaming and screatching, and pissing, and crying and being fat? How could you not like that?"

"I was NOT that bad," I defend myself.

"You told me to go screw myself with a stake," Cassie says, "You threatened to try and stake Jason."

Okay girl has a point, I was a uh, bit hormonal during my pregnancies….

"Oh that's nothing, she chased Mike around for an hour with a frying pan," Buffy puts in.

"Okay, so…I was…hormonal."

"I'm hormonal, you were homicidal," Cassie laughs, then takes a deep breath, "Those ribs do not move kid." She moves around a little, causing Daniel to look at her, "Sorry," she kisses his forehead, "The baby is kicking me."

Daniel looks down at her belly, "How did he get in there?"

Cassie raises an eye brow, "The stork?"

I laugh when he looks up confused, "I thought the stork just delivered them."

Cassie laughs, "I wish."

"Don't we all," Faith sighs, rubbing her belly too.

Xander POV (August 2018, Two months later)

Boy time has flown by, it's August and the weather is cooled off. Thank goodness cause Cassie and Faith are miserable. Faith is seven and half months, 30 weeks. Cassie is 28 weeks, or seven months. She's having a boy, I can't help but be excited. Of course I would have been just as excited about a girl.

I hear her groan and look up, "You okay?"

"I'm fine, the baby is just really active," she smiles, but still looks uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry Baby," I say and lay my hand over hers that's resting on the table, "Anything I can do?"

"Unless you can be pregnant for me for a couple hours, no," she laughs and I grin, "Just you being here is enough, more then enough Dad."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," I say honestly.

"You could be home with the kids," she says looking down at her empty plate.

"They're taken care of," I answer, "And they'll be out here in a few weeks if everything goes well."

"Dad," she sighs and looks up at me, "would you be offended if…" she pauses, "I love having you here, and being around you, but if I just had Momma and Jason in the delivery room, would you be offended? I figure you at least get to give me away…"

I squeeze her hand, "Sweetie, it's up to you."

"Thanks Daddy," she smiles then takes a deep breath. I know that look, it's the 'I'm hurting' look. I'm out of my seat in a moment, and she grips my hand. "I think we should go home," she says closing her eyes.

"Okay Baby," I say and help her up. We'd been shopping most of the day, so it's no wonder she's cramping. The doctor told her to stay off her feet as much as she can. "I shouldn't have let you come, I new you were staying on your feet to much."

She laughs a little leaning into me as we walk outside, "Daddy, I'm fine, I just want to get off my feet before I end up in the hospital having him before he's ready."

I nod my head, helping her into the truck and then getting in myself. I glance over as I start the truck, and in that moment, with her hand on her stomach and this concentrated look on her face, she looks just like Faith.

Flashback Late September 1999

I climb in the car beside Faith. Whatever had possessed me to volunteer too bring her to the doctor, well it was very wrong. I sigh and run my hand through my hair, "So uh, just a few more weeks huh? And then we'll have us a beautiful baby girl."

"No," Faith turns glaring at me, "I will have a beautiful baby girl. I will have to push her out a whole the size of a damn walnut," she growls.

I sigh, "But at least she'll be here."

"Shut up X-man."

"Look, I know that technically all you've asked me to do is, well nothing, but I want to do more. I want to be there when she takes her first breath, and her first steps and her first word. I feel that as her father, I should at least be entitled to those things." I sigh again and run my hand through my hair, "Look my parents are crappy, I don't have any money, I'm not even out of high school, but I love her. I don't understand it, I just do. She isn't even here yet, and I feel like I know this person is going to awesome. I can't offer her much Faith, but I can offer her me. And I can offer you me. Nothing romantic or anything, just me. A friend, a comrade, a helping hand." I look up to see Faith's big doe eyes on me, glistening with tears.

"She really is lucky little girl," she whispers.

"Do you know she's how lucky?" I ask and Faith shakes her head a little, "Because she has a beautiful, loving mother, who will be there for her always. Faith, I know you're scared, hell I am too. And I know you didn't plan this life for yourself, but you love her. I can see it in everything you do. She'll be here in a few weeks, and we get to watch her grow and learn and I hope she turns out a lot like you. I hope she looks exactly like you at this moment, because you are hopelessly beautiful."

Faith reaches out for my hand, which I extend to her. She places it over her stomach and I can feel a steady kick underneath is, "She's lucky because she's got you. I'm so scared I'm gonna screw up."

I shake my head, "You won't Faith. And someday she'll ask us, how she came to be. And we'll tell her. Someday she's gonna ask a lot of hard questions, but we'll answer her honestly."

"I been thinking," Faith says quietly, "She needs a name. So I went through that baby book, I thought maybe I would find something. But I like the name Cassandra. I thought maybe we could name her Cassandra Summer Lehane."

"It's perfect," I answer, kissing Faith on the cheek, "Know lets get you home."

(end flashback)

Looking at Cassie, Cassandra Summer Lehane, it's hard to believe she's the little girl we spent months worrying over before she got here. Hard to believe I had a hand in the way this woman turned out. And in this moment, that's what I see. I see a woman.

And I'm extraordinarily proud of that woman. She's got a lot of Faith in there. Her dimples, her sarcasm, even that little thing about not being able to set still. But at the same time, she's got a lot of me in there. She's a dork, she won't tell you but she is. Her laugh, she has my laugh.

But she's also Cassie. A unique mix of the people who touched her life so much while she grew up. Tara's soft ability to sense a mood change most can't. Willow ability to babble like nobody's business. And Buffy. She has these moments, that if you look just right, you see so much of Buffy, you'd almost believe Buffy was her mother.

Like the pout, nobody can say no to a Buffy pout. Cassie has the same pout. Or the way Buffy crosses her arms across her chest and glares at you, yeah she got that to.

I can't believe I'm going to be a grandfather. That's just wrong. Mostly because I don't want to see Cassie as a woman. As proud of her as I am, I want my baby back. The one who used to curl up with me when she got mad at Faith, and stick her tongue out at Faith. The one who used to tell me secrets. The one who stumbled on wobbly legs when she started walking.

Sighing I run a hand through my hair. If I could have planned my life, this would not be it. Then again, I can't say as I have a bad life. It's just so different. There was never anything remotely romantic between Faith and I. Which should have given Cassie the biggest complex ever, but she seemed to just understand.

That's what she says she got from me. Understanding. Seeing. I glance sideways, to see her watching me intently. Yup, I'm pretty sure she got the seeing part from me. She's sees a lot more then she should sometimes. I give her a small smile, and she smiles back.

"Daddy?" she reaches out for my hand setting on the gear.

"What?" I ask, looking back at the road.

"Is something wrong?"

I chuckle a little, "No, why would you think that?"

"Because you seem so, lost in the past…" she shrugs, "Then you looked kinda sad."

Biting my bottom lip I tilt my head, "No, not sad. Just thoughtful."

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"You, thinking about when you were little," I turn onto the road that will lead to Buffy and Faith's.

Cassie laughs, "Was I a terror, when I was little?"

"No," I say instantly, "You were a good baby, until you mad a Faith. Then all hell broke lose. You had a temper worse then any two year old, I've ever met. And yes that includes Keegan."

She laughs, "If this one turns out anything like me, then I think I'm in trouble."

"You'll do fine," I say squeezing her hand, "Trust me Cassie."

"I do, Daddy," she sounds like a little girl again, and I have to glance over and make sure she's not.

I sigh and put both hands on the steering wheel, "Cassandra," I say and I know she's listening, "I'm gonna tell you a secret. When you were born, I was clueless. All I new what that there was this little baby who had won me over in minute one. That she needed me, and I didn't now what to do. But I found that, when I held you, I got it. I think that, there's something, not mother's instinct, but something else, that takes over. And yes, you're going to screw up. I have. Faith has. But as long as you love that baby, then it'll be okay. Love might not fix it all, but by God it fixes a lot. Nobody will ever tell you that this will be easy. But I'll tell you, the struggle, the challenge, the whatever, is so much more worth it then I can put into words. And one day, you're going to look back, and she's going to be woman," I stop the truck in the driveway and look at her, she has tears in her eyes, "And you're gonna be so proud it practically burst from you. But at the same time, you're gonna wish you could have you're baby back." I reach out and touch her cheek, "There's no easy road, it's full of hills and bumps and demons you can't begin to believe. But there'll be a moment, when all the world is right, and everything is good. Take hold of that moment, Cassie. It'll get you through everything else."

"Thank you Daddy," she whispers wiping her eyes.

I grin, "What's a Daddy for?"

Faith POV

I try to regulate my breathing, "God B," I gasp, "I'd forgotten."

She turns her head and grins at me, "You'd forgotten how well I can go down on you?"

I shake my head, "I'd forgotten how good the sex is when I'm pregnant."

She laughs, "Nice to know you love my ability," she sets up on her elbow and looks down at me.

"Oh believe me," I look up at her, "I really do love your ability."

"Faith?" she reaches down and touches my cheek softly. "Are you scared to have another baby?"

"Yeah, kinda," I answer, and remember this conversation the first time around.

Flashback Faith POV September 1999

B sets down next to me on the bed, "Faith?"

"Yeah B?" I ask setting up a little, but struggling because of my stomach.

"Are you scared?"

"Of what, this new demon, naw I know you'll get him," I say with a shrug.

"No, of having a baby?" she reaches out gently and touches my stomach, "It's a huge deal, and you haven't said anything about being scared."

I fidget, "What's to be afraid of?"

"Lots, there's lots of things that can happen. She's gonna be totally depended on us. Isn't that a little scary for you?" She looks up as she runs her hand over my stomach tickling it, "She's gonna be so tiny and helpless."

I sigh, "Yeah, I know. The truth is, and don't you dare tell anybody else this or I'll strangle you, it scares me shitless."

"You want to hear my theory?"

"Sure," I nod a little.

"My theory is that, one day we're gonna look back and laugh at how scared we were. I'm not afraid you're not gonna be a good Mom, you are. I just know that she's a very lucky little girl. And she's going to be beautiful. It's just that, I don't know where I fit."

"Look B, I can't start anything with you," I move a little again, "I just want to focus on her."

"I get that," B says, "But I want to be here. I want to help you."

I look up into her eyes, "I think I'm gonna need it, maybe together we won't be as scared."

"I'll never leave you," B vowed.

End flashback

I look as she leans down and places her lips over mine, "I'll never leave you, Faith," she whispers against my lips.

"Thank you," I whisper kissing her for all I'm worth.

There's a knock at the door, and we both groan. "Who is it?" she calls.

Keegan's little voice comes through our door, and it melts our frustration at the interruption. His little head pops in the door, and he grins at us. "Ken must have dropped him off," I say, "Whatcha doin?"

"Ken took me to the Zoo!" he squeals and runs for the bed.

"Careful of Momma's stomach Keegan," B says, reaching over me and raising him onto the bed to snuggle between us, "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah lots, I sawed a monkey swinging from the tree, and and there was a tiger and it went 'grrr' at us, and then there was a snake and it went 'hissss' at us and it sounded like he saw sayen his," Keegan rattles off instantly.

I laugh, "Sounds like he's got the animal sounds down."

"And I got to bet a elaphant, and this funny looking thing called a lama," he looked thoroughly digusted by the lama.

B laughs, "What else did you see?"

"I sawed a baby," Keegan looks up at us.

"You did?" I ask.

"Uh-huh," he nods, "And it was cryin' a lot," he pauses, "Is our babies gonna cry that much?"

I look at B over Keegan's head, we should have been preparing him better I guess. It's just that, with everything else, we thought he was doing good. I sigh a little and pull him closer to me, "Babies cry because that's the only way they can let us know something is wrong. So yeah, our babies will cry quiet a bit. Maybe."

B nods, "But the crying won't last too long. And there's always a reason, well not exactly always. Sometimes babies cry because, well babies just wants to cry." Her and Keegan frown at the same time.

I laugh a little, "Listen, a baby takes a lot out of the Mommies. And it's hard to spent enough time with everybody sometimes. But we're not going to forget you."

"So, your baby will be my sissy, and Cassie's will be my…." he frowns in concentration.

"Your nephew," I supply.

Chapter five

(October 2018 Faith POV Six weeks later)

Faith's POV flashback (October 1999)

My stomach had been cramping all day, but ignored it. It was three days past my due date, and everything hurt anyways, why should my stomach be different? I'd spent the day with Buffy and Willow shopping. Oh the joy, and yes that was very sarcastic. But it was Saturday and I had nothing really better to do but lounge around the house. I would have helped Xander but he refused to let me. He was helping set up the nursery and stuff.

But finally we were home, and I was ready to just set down. My feet were the size of hot air balloons as it was. So I headed upstairs to lay down on the bed and put my stuff away. There was still a few thing I'd needed, okay wanted, for the baby so I picked it up. At the top of the stairs I felt the first real pain, it took my breath.

"Shit," I mutter under my breath, "Okay I know we had a talk this morning, but could you like give it another day?" I whisper straightening back up. I head for the bathroom first, because I seriously have to piss, again. Setting down on the toilet I feel another pain making it's way around my back and brace myself. OUCH! OH mother fucker this shit hurts. Okay calm down Faith, just breath. Okay better, better, okay I'm okay not so bad. I take a deep breath and go to stand up when I feel this huge gush of fluid. That was weird, I already pissed….Oh! wait was that my water? What the hell am I asking you for? Geezs, get a grip Faith. I wipe and stand up, but when I get stood up another pain comes and they are really getting annoying, this one isn't as bad though. Suddenly I'm hit my the urge to be alone, in a dark place. I know it's weird, but what can I say. So I flush, and go into the bedroom and shut and lock the door. It's okay one in the afternoon so I should be okay as far as the alone part.

Moving across the room I close the curtains and that helps with the darkness, and turn out the lights. That's better, it's a little darker. I try to set down but I can't, I just pace back and forward. Ouch, oh shit, damn it to hell, oh yeah contraction. I start timing them and they're about ten minutes apart. So I turn on some music and start folding clothes, they have to be put away anyways. Once the clothes are folded I get up and put them away.

For the next two hours I do things around the room, just odd and end stuff but I haven't been timing my contractions. Until I realize they aren't ten minutes apart anymore, they're more like three, I can't even walk across the room without having at least one. It hurts soo bad, but I can't scream. Don't ask me why, it's just what my body is telling me. B and Joyce are downstairs because the TV down there is going and somebody's in the kitchen. Xander however is in the room next to mine.

I try laying down, but it makes them worse. So I set down on the edge of the bed, with just my shirt on. My brain at this point is not working, I'm going on all instinct. And instinct is telling me the baby is close. I feel the urge to push and somewhere in my brain it says to yell for help, but my instinct says no. So I push just a little, and it actually releaves some of the pain. I pant through the rest of the contraction, and then reach down. Oh my God, I think I can feel the head. I close my eyes and push down, reaching between my legs with both hands, I can feel her head moving out of me. I keep pushing, because every inch of my body is screaming 'PUSH'. Looking down I can see her head, and the cord is wrapped around her neck, so I remove it, and try not to panic. Ouce I've removed the cord I push down again, and her shoulders come out.

Once her shoulders are out it takes one more push and she falls into my hands. I'm breathing hard, and I pull her to me. She's screaming which is a good thing. Without really thinking I pull the sheet from the bottom of the bed and cover us both up. The music has stopped sometime and all I can hear is her crying. Craddling her I inspect my perfect little angel.

I'm not sure when it happened but at some point Buffy showed up with Joyce and Xander. She's asking if I'm okay, but all I can do it nod. I hear something about calling 911, and then Xander is setting beside me. I look up at him with tears in my eyes,

"She's ours?"

Xander kisses my forehead and puts his arms around me, "She's ours." He sounds close to tears himself.

I look back down at the baby, "Cassandra Summer Lehane." I whisper leaning a little more into Xander.

"It fits her perfect." Xander whispers.

That's when everything is a blur of action. Because the ambulance gets there, and cut the cord and everything.

End flashback

(October 2018)

I'm close I can feel it, I'm not in labor really but I'm restless. B knows it too, she can tell. All three of my births have been home. Cassie was born with just me there, but Aiden and Keegan were born with a midwife. Still I was able to catch Keegan, he was coming to fast, and I told the midwife, but she wouldn't listen to me.

Anyways, this one is going to be here soonish, we agreed to have Willow deliver this one. She delivered Aiden, and it went really well. I'm very solitary when I go into labor. And before it I get this restless feeling. Usually, I'll let B stay with me while I'm in labor, but that's just me being, nice.

Anyways, Cassie is pretty close to but not as close as me. She's nervous as hell, and it kinda rolls off her. Therefore I'm nervous for both of us. The kids, at the moment, are in the living room watching a movie with B. She's trying to spend as much time with them as she can, before the new one gets here. Also Cassie and Jason are kinda hiding, so that means she's trying to keep them away.

I don't blame Cassie for wanting her time with Jason, she knows that the new baby will take up a lot of time. She also is worried, and I think this time Jason is the one that has to pick up the worried pieces. I can't fix this, I don't want to. Because I know that when that baby gets here in two weeks then well, she'll fall in love and that'll be all she wrote.

I really wish this baby would just come on. I'm anxious to meet this little person. It's funny how in the beginning I would have just liked this whole pregnancy thing to go away. Although I would have been very wrong. It's sorta crazy that way. But I really really don't want to talk about that or think about it.

I'm setting at the computer flipping through the new emails. Nothing much new. There's a new one from Ken, she had to leave early to go home a couple weeks back. There was a big emergency that they don't think I know about. But she says things are cool, so I trust her.

Willow and Tara showed up two weeks ago, Xander showed up six weeks ago or something like that, and his new wife and daughter showed up about a week ago. Believe me if they were all staying here the house would be bursting at the stems. Thank God, we have a house set up not far from here, and they can all stay in.

I'm really glad X-Man is here. You can't believe what a relief it is that he is so worried about Cassie. I'm her Momma, she's mine. But she's also his, and he's an amazing father to both his girls. I was so afraid I couldn't do it on my own, that I never realized when she was younger that I did not one thing alone. There was always someone there and willing to help, and I needed that. I still need that.

Only know it's B and me. And that's awesome. I love her more then words and the last eighteen years have been the most amazing years of my life. After a crappy first few that means a lot. B's a good Mom. And she keeps me on the straight and narrow. I'm a very lucky woman.

I'm also a woman in labor, well the beginning stage at least. Want to know how I know? Well there was just a cramp running through my stomach. Shit. Okay I know I said I was ready for her to be here, but yeah, not so much. I changed my mind. I'm not ready, I don't want to do the endless sleepless nights again. But I know that when I meet her I'll fall for her, just as I did Cassie.

I get up and head for the living room, I want to be around B before labor gets to bad. Besides, I should probably tell her. When I walk into the kitchen, Cassie is standing there, talking with Dawn and Willow. She's laughing, and she's rubbing her huge (she waddles just like me!) belly. Her smile would light up the world if the sun ever decided to take a vacation.

My breath catches because I realize for the first time, she's a woman. My baby daughter is all grown up. She's not my baby anymore, and I'm going to have a grandson in a few weeks. I feel my eyes tearing up, and I can't stop it. My first born is grown. Do you know how old that makes me feel? I'm not ready for her to be all indipentent and Mom like.

I feel a arm move around me and look over to see X-Man standing there. "Hard to believe she's all grown up huh?" he asks.

I nod, "Yeah, and knocked up."

He laughs, "I think she takes after you Faith."

"Is that good or bad?"

X-Man gets serious tightening an arm around me, "That's what I always wanted, was our daughter to turn out like you."

Shit, he made me cry. Fuck him. He laughs when he sees the tears, reaches up with his free hand and wipes them away. Then he smiles at me and turns to walk away. That's X-Man for ya, leave a woman crying. Okay so it's more of a silent tears are flowing and I'm not totally sure why. I sigh and attempt to gather myself. There's no need in making Cassie more upset or more anxious then she needs to be.

Just as I'm getting myself together Becca comes up. Becca is a sleyer/witch, X-man met her through slayer school. She loves Cassie and she respects me so we're all good. She glances over at Cassie, "Hard to believe she's having a baby."

"Yup," I nod my head a little, the cramps are getting more frequent and yeah they're making me uncomfortable.

"How long you think before yours is here, can't be long know huh?" she gives me a sideways glance, she's also a nurse.

"Nope, can't be long," I answer rubbing away another cramp.

"How long do you think before Cassie's little man is here?" she turns her attention back to Cassie who's still talking with Dawn and Willow.

"I have no idea," I answer honestly, "A few more weeks though. She's due two weeks from know."

She nods a little, "I'm kinda hoping she brings little man to visit soon. Has she even picked out a name, cause she won't tell us."

I laugh, "She's got one picked out but she refuses to tell us either."

"And this little one," she motions toward my stomach, "Does she have a name?"

I bite my bottom lip, "I don't know, B and me, we talked about it, but I don't think it's official yet."

"Can't be official till she's here," Becca says with a laugh as Dena, her six year old, come running through the house chasing Aiden. "Hey, no running through the house."

"But he took my hat!" she turns to Becca and puts her hands on her hips.

"Aiden, give her back her hat," I say rolling my eyes, "You don't need a pink hat."

"I don't have her hat, Keegan does. And besides, she was hitting us with it," he rolls his eyes. "Like it would hurt."

"I'll show you hurt," Dena stomps toward him. And bless his heart, he back up, boy knows to respect a woman.

Cassie, having caught onto the conversation looks over, "Dena René Harris, leave him alone, and Aiden Daniel Lehane, you mess with her and I'm gonna get you."

And she honestly things she can't be a Mom. I roll my eyes, "And I'll let her."

Aiden huffs, "I'm always getting picked on!"

And to that Cassie, in all her pregnant glory proceds to throw a towel at him. Which he of course throws back, and therefore starting a towel war. I slip slowly into the living room, and set down beside B.

"What's going on in there?" she asks.

"Towel war," I answer leaning into her, "I'm more concerned about what's going on here," I rub my stomach to indicate that's what I'm talking about.

"Oh really?" she asks amused, "You wouldn't be going into labor would you?"

"Yes," I pout, I can't help it, "I am."

"Yipee!" B squeals and hugs me tight.

'I'm so glade you're excited I'm in pain," I grumble.

"I just can't wait to meet her," she soothes my head back, "How far into it are you?"

"No far, I think I could nap if I had some company," I answer slyly.

"You just want to sleep with me, and maybe suduce me huh?" she asks, and I laugh.

"Honestly be, I won't be seducing you for at least a few hours, the cramps are pretty bad," I say honestly.

"Aaawwww, my poor baby," she cooes at me and kisses my forehead, "I'll tell Will and then we'll go lay down okay?"

"Do we have to tell her just yet?" I ask.

"Yes, because most of the time, your labor is pretty fast." with that B gets up and leaves me alone on the couch, in pain.

A few hours later….Still Faith POV

"OOOOHHH," I bend double holding onto the bed, "Damnit to hell!"

"I know, baby just breath through it," B says, she's trying to sooth me but it's not working, I glare at her.

"You done this, you damn bitch," B sighs and looks over my back at Red.

"Sweeties, maybe we could uh, try another position," Red suggests.

"How about ya'll leave me the fuck alone," I answer and both sigh.

"Maybe we could leave her alone, for a few minutes," B suggests.

Red doesn't look convinced, "Maybe a few…."

Just then the door opens, "Okay, everybody out, time for a mother daughter moment thingy," Cassie says, thereby kicking both of them out, once they are out she comes to stand beside me. "So I've been thinking," she starts talking, "I like the name Isabella, and the name Elizabeth. What do you think?"

I frown, just as another contraction hits, "OH SHIT!" Cassie comes to stand beside me rubbing by back.

"Momma, you know you have to breath through these, come on know," she says reasonably. Yes I do know that, and somehow it doesn't piss me off when she says it like that. I try to focus, "You think she'll look like you or Mom? It's be crazy weird if she looked like a mix of the two, since we all take after one or the other. Although I'm a mix of you and Dad right? I mean it's not like either of you could deny me."

And on she rambles, and it's the most amazing gift in the world. Finally, I move to set on the bed, "Cassie," I say looking up at her.

"I know Momma, it's time huh?" she bends down, "Or pretty damn close."

"I was going to say thank you," I answer cupping her face, "You're the most amazing daughter I could have ever asked for when I was seventeen."

She laughs, "Hey Momma," she looks up at me, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"What?"

She swallows hard, "I think I was destined to be born to you, maybe I'm sorta what saved you…"

"There's not a doubt in my mind about it," I answer feeling a little pressure, but not enough to push yet.

"I think maybe this one saved me too," she rubs her stomach, "I'm gonna go get Mom, cause I know you're about ready."

"Okay," I answer, breathing hard, because the little pressure is know a lot.

Cassie gets up and goes to the door, talking to B. In a second, B is at my side, and Red is too. Cassie moves to leave but I catch her by the arm, and let her know I want her to stay.

And that's all the time I have, before I start pushing. Setting on the edge of the bed, with my legs apart I begin to push, and there's no time to change positions, Cassie bends down between my legs, quickly, because apparently the head it right there.

With the first push I feel the head come out, "OH God, no no no, I can't." I shake my head, "Shit, it hurts."

Cassie looks up at me, "Momma, she's almost here, come on, please, push."

I look down at my first born, and push again. "Please make it stop."

"Soon baby," B says, and Red is trying to get Cassie to move and go get towels or something, but Cassie tells her to do it herself, she's kinda busy.

I push down once more with all my might and let out a great big scream, and with it, the baby slides out.

Cassie looks down at her arms, "She's here," she looks up to smile at me, "You done it."

Cassie hands me the baby, which Willow wraps up, as B helps Cassie up. I lay back on the bed looking down at the tiny infant in my arms. Checking to make sure it's a girl, it is, I look her over good. She opens her eyes and looks up at me, and my heart melts.

"She looks like Cassie," B says beside me, setting down on the bed, "She looks just like her."

I nod my head and laugh, "Figures our baby would look like her sister instead of us."

"She's beautiful," B says kissing my forehead, "Thank you Faith."

"No more," I say looking up and B gives a little laugh and nod. "But I'm really glad she's here."

(Two hours later)

"So does she have a name or not?" Aiden asks as he looks at the tiny bundle wrapped in Cassie's arms.

"Not," B laughs.

Cassie looks down at the baby, then up at me, "Hope," she says.

B looks at me and I nod, "Sounds like she's got a name."

"Why would you call her Hope?" Kayla asks frowning.

"Because, she gives us hope," Cassie says, "And hope comes from having Faith."

Kayla laughs, "You mean you want to call her Hope because she comes from Momma whose name is Faith."

"I want to call her Hope because she's given me so much already," Cassie says, "And because she's our hope of a future. Just like they called you Kayla, because the name means so much to Momma. And Aiden because he aids us, and Keegan after Aunt Ken."

"And you?" Kayla asks.

Cassie smiles up at her, "I am named after one of the greatest women I ever new, Joyce Summers."

"So, her name is Hope?" Kayla looks down at the infant again, "It fits her."

"Hope Issabella Lehane," I say with a nod, "Meet the family."

Cassie passes her to Kayla, then to Aiden, then helps Keegan hold her. Slowly they all trickle out of the room, aside from Cassie, B and me. Cassie is still holding Hope, looking down at her and rubbing her cheek.

"This is my baby sister," she says quietly, "And nobody better mess with her." Softly she kisses her forehead, causing her to scrunch up her nose, then hands her back to me, she kisses my forehead and whispers in my hear, "This is my Momma, and nobody better mess with her." Just like she did the day Kayla was born. I blink back tears as she turns and leaves the room.

Two weeks later…Jason POV

Cassie has been restless, and tossing and turning all night. I can't sleep because I know something's going on. And there's Hope. She's up again, and even though she's barely whimpering, I can hear her. It's that vamp hearing thing. I wonder if my son will have that. And just how much like a vamp he'll be.

Cassie moans in her sleep and I look between her stomach and her face. Reaching out I feel her stomach, it's tight, uh oh. Gently as I can I take her into my arms, "Cassie?"

It takes a moment, but she opens her eyes, "Jason, I think…" She doesn't finish the sentence, because she's trying to breath through a contraction.

"Sssshhhh, it's okay," I say, "Let me go get Buffy," I say but she shakes her head. "Why not."

She smiles up at me, "Because, I'm okay, really. Just cramping a little and I think I just want to get up and walk. Please?"

I sigh, "Walk?"

"Come on, the baby's due any day know anyways, I just want to get up and walk around and see if it helps," Cassie pouts. I don't know how she ended up with Buffy's pout, but you can not say no it.

So together we get up and start to walk around, somehow Cassie convences me to actually take her outside. Yeah not a genus move, but I do know there's nothing out here. No demon would dare step foot on this land. So, Cassie and I go outside and begin slowly walking around.

"Isn't the night beautiful?" she asks softly.

I don't take my eyes off of her, cause at this moment she's glowing. Not just a little glow, I mean she's litterally glowing. "Yes, beautiful," I whisper.

Cassie seems to be pulled out her thoughts, and looks over at me, she smiles, "What?"

"You're beautiful," I say reaching out and running my hand down her arm.

"I'm fat and pregnant," she laughs, but stops short, "Ouch."

"You okay?" I ask, know rubbing both her arms.

She smiles, even though it's strained, she nods. Slowly I can feel the tension leave her body and she sighs, "It hurts a lot worse then I thought this early on."

I frown down at her, "What do you mean?"

Cassie shrugs, "I just didn't think ti would hurt this bad this early into labor."

"Maybe we should go back in," I suggest, just because I feel as though we should be closer to Buffy and Faith at this moment. Cassie nods again, as she rubs away a cramp, and we head for the house.

We're about halfway there, when Cassie stops and grips my arm so hard, I know she's drawing blood. I wheel around and her eyes are big, "What?" I demand.

"I…." She bends double, "AAAAAHHHHHHHH,' she screams, and I hear a distinct gush of fluid. If I had to guess I'd say her water just broke. Again she glances up at me, "I think he's coming, now."

OH FUCK!

Buffy POV

I'm up with baby Hope, she's sleeping pretty well, but tonight she doesn't seem to be sleep well. So I'm up an humming to her, when I hear Jason come in screaming. Of course I lay the baby down quickly and get up and go into the living room, Faith padding a long behind me. It's Cassie, she's setting on the couch moaning, obviously she's on labor. But when I move to her side, she pushes me away, and cries for Faith. I try not to feel shunned, but yeah I kinda do.

Faith is at her side in a second, and I move around to keep the little kids out of here. "Let me through," Kayla says.

"You don't need to be in there," I answer.

"Let me through," she repeats growling at me, I raise my eye brow. She glares at me, and pushes past me, well just excuse the hell out of me. I turn to go after her, but get to the doorway to the living room, where Cassie is, and watch as Kayla bends down. Cassie looks up into her eyes, and I see her physically try to get a hold on the pain.

"I…" Cassie struggles, "I need to…"

"Go on Baby," Jason says, "I'm here, I'll catch him." And I realize that, she's pushing. I also realize that, in a matter of a few minutes, maybe seconds, I'm gonna be a grandmother. Oh man. I step forward, and Faith looks at me from over Cassie grinning ear to ear.

Time stops, litterally stops for me, in the next second, there's a huge cry, Jason is holding up a squirming little person and Cassie, Faith and Kayla are all crying. I blink and look at the little person Jason is still holding up, yup, it's a boy.

I don't even realize I'm crying until Aiden comes to stand beside me and asks why I'm crying. He also says Hope is crying, which I guess blended with…the new babies. I head to go get her, without really thinking about it.

(The next day) Xander POV

He's HERE! MY GRAND SON IS HERE. And boy does he have a head full of hair, and grip. God he's got a grip. He's nine pounds! Will said if Cassie hadn't been a slayer then she'd have surely had to have a C-section, but since she's a slayer I guess it helped her. That's the one and only time I've been glad my daughter was a slayer.

He has these deep brown eyes, which I suppose he could get from Cassie or Jason either one. Personaly I think he looks like Cassie. He's strong too. God, I can't believe I'm a grandfather, but ya know what? It's an amazing feeling. Cassie and the baby are fine.

Faith POV

I'm a grandmother. Wow. That's really all I can think to say is wow. It's hard to discribe how I feel right know. I was right there with Cassie, so was Kayla. We still don't know his name, Cassie didn't exactly have it narrowed down. But he's beautiful, I mean hansom. And he's healthy, and that's all that matters.

Hope is doing great too. I'm healed from her birth pretty much, seeing how she didn't rip me or nothing. Cassie ripped a little, but nothing that won't heal in a couple days.

Over all, I would say the world is about perfect. But that could just be me.

Present- FPOV

I jerk up right in the bed, sweating and looking around. Blinking I see the three other beds in the cell, all with people sleeping on them. I'm on the top bunk so, I set up and climb down. Slowly I walk over to the bars, what was that? A dream? For a second I thought maybe I'd made it. Maybe that beautiful family was my own.

But it hadn't been. I did stake a guy. I killed, I went evil, and know I'm in prison. I can't stop the tears flowing down my face. It's not fair of me to ask for that, to ask that I would have such a family or deserve it. But I do want it, I do want that.

I swallow my tears, and turn back around, I reach up onto my bunk, and pull out a smiling picture of a beautiful brunette child with Xander's smile and my dimples. God I hate myself. I want to be with her so bad, but what I done was so wrong.

Xander doesn't know, I didn't have the guts to tell him. She lives with Angel, and he brings her occasionally for visits, but last time he brought her, she cried the whole time I held her. I deserve her, I honestly believe that.

Gently I kiss the picture of the smiling six month old, and pray I'll do better in the future. I promised the day I got in here, that I would do better, and I will. Somehow, someway, I will do better. And when I am better, I will be with my child. Mark my words.

But until then, Angel and them will keep her safe. I climb back onto my bunk, and drift into a dream world not nearly as beautiful as the one I had just left.