He hadn't realized he had fallen into unconsciousness until he slowly opened his eyes, and even though his vision was blurry from all the blood he was currently losing, the memories hit him like a brick, forcing him to close his eyes again and groan in distaste. The whole situation was quite unpleasant for him – after all, he was lying on the ground, fighting to stay conscious and still trying to resist death even though it was another battle he would clearly lose. Slightly shifting his position, he furrowed his eyebrows and shut his eyes even tighter at the scent of his own blood, doing his best to ignore it as he remembered Touka's words –
"Even your meat can be eaten, fucking Gourmet."
The idea of him eating himself to survive had already flashed a few times through his head, but he just couldn't let himself do it. His eyes fluttered open, lazily moving to look at his good hand as he tried to move it. He barely managed to crawl towards one of the walls and carefully pushed himself up, turning around into a sitting position, his back leaning against it as he let out a long, tired sigh and grimaced at the lack of weight on his right side. He felt light-headed and knew if he let himself doze off he wouldn't be able to wake up again, so he kept taking long deep breaths to stay calm and to try to think rationally, even though there was nothing to think about. He had only two options and frankly he didn't approve of either.
If he let himself die, he wouldn't ever be able to taste Kaneki, and that thought alone was enough to give him the strength to shakily bring his hand to his face. He could only imagine how painfully delicious the half-ghoul's flesh would taste as he sunk his teeth into his palm, imagining it was Kaneki's, ignoring the annoying pain he now felt, his mind only registering future possible scenarios of him and the boy. He would follow his blissful scent to find him again, he would try to court him, and then defeat him. Images of Kaneki bloody, bruised and at his mercy, ready to be eaten soothed the awful feeling of him ripping into the flesh of his palm, roughly pulling and chewing his own meat. He felt a little bit of his energy return only from the first bite, slowly becoming more and more motivated as the thoughts of the half-ghoul became frequent. Moving his hand to his wrist, he decided to close his eyes because he wasn't afraid of losing consciousness anymore – and it would help him transfer himself to his wonderful thoughts of Kaneki.
The next few minutes passed in a blur and he was glad he didn't remember much about them. All he knew was that his left arm was deformed and he felt his body slowly starting to heal. Who knew devouring your own flesh and blood could help you recover so much faster? He could feel the light-headedness slowly but surely fading away - that was when he could finally scent Kaneki's wonderful aroma. Had it been there the whole time? His eyes swiftly opened and he started carefully studying the ground, ignoring his body for the moment. The half-ghoul had bled there too.
The thought brought him immense happiness as he sluggishly tried to lift himself up to stand but only managed to fall forwards into his own pile of blood. He didn't care though - he realized it wasn't just his blood. The Gourmet soaked himself in it, feeling it cling to his clothes as he moved his now deformed left hand and literally washed it in the red liquid, before bringing it to his mouth again. He didn't bite it this time, only running his bloodied fingers over his lips. Kaneki was so damn close and he would finally be able to taste him. He slightly opened his mouth, his tongue poking out to lick one of the wet fingers and while he could certainly taste his own blood, the half-ghoul's scent was definitely there. He wasn't sure exactly whose blood he was tasting but it didn't matter – all that mattered was the chance that it could be Kaneki's. He could pretend that it was as he pushed his index finger into his mouth, roughly sucking at it. A few moments later he did the same with his other fingers, barely holding himself from biting them off, even though he knew it would only help his situation. His right arm was already halfway healed and he realized he would be able to do something about the sudden tightness of his pants as he took out all his fingers, only leaving the index one and bit into it, his body slightly flinching from the sudden pain, becoming even more aroused as he imagined he was eating the half-ghoul. Moving onto his middle finger, he closed his eyes again and gave it a hard suck, making sure to clean it from all the blood before digging his teeth into it, the familiar shocking feeling of both pain and arousal running through his body once more as more blood started dripping from mouth.
After he was done with his fingers, he finally felt the weight of his right arm on his side and gingerly pushed himself up, his hands almost slipping in the liquid. He awkwardly fumbled with his belt, finding it slightly hard to do it with only one hand now that he was kneeling. He let out a quiet sigh of relief when he pulled it away, hearing a quiet clank as it fell on the ground. He hadn't realized how quiet it had been – he could only hear his quick and often desperate breaths as he used his left hand to support his weight, brushing his right one along the floor, trying to soak every single drop of blood there before moving it to his crotch, applying slight pressure as he wiped it over his clothed member, a loud moan suddenly echoing throughout the empty church.
He didn't understand what he was doing – what Kaneki was making him do. The precious half-ghoul was driving him insane. He couldn't control himself as he slowly stroked himself through his underwear, opening his eyes to see Kaneki's blood on his crotch, giving himself one much stronger stroke and stumbling forwards with a grunt, almost falling down again. It felt that good. His eyes became wider as he imagined the boy underneath him, ready to be devoured, his mind becoming clouded from the lust. Without thinking, he brought his left hand to his face to bite it, realizing a second too late that he was holding his balance with it and fell on the ground, hitting his chin painfully hard on the concrete. Groaning in pain, he shut his eyes and turned himself so that he was laying on his back. He felt the cold wetness of the blood on the back of his head, only motivating him further.
"Ka… Kaneki-kun…"
He breathlessly whined as he removed his pants, his arms now both fully healed. His breath hitched when he finally freed his painful erection and wrapped his right hand around it, imitating the earlier slow strokes as he wiped his left on the ground, collecting all the blood he could and then biting it so it would start bleeding more. With both hands around his member, he ran his bleeding thumb over the head of his cock, his whole body shivering from the sensation as he stopped for a second to compose himself. Not long after, he repeated the same action a few times until he found himself humping the air harder and harder with each rough stroke - he knew he was getting close. The church was filled with his shameless moaning, becoming louder with each second passed and the slick sounds of his wet hands grinding along his shaft until it all suddenly stopped.
Arching his back as his eyes rolled back into his head and his toes curled in on themselves, he rode the last wave of his orgasm, the white fluid mixing with the blood he was covered in. He let his body fall with a thud on the floor and he removed his hands. Wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his palm, he was sure he probably looked like a mess but after he looked down at his body he couldn't help but widely grin, wanting to meet Kaneki even more now. If only his scent and a little bit of his blood were able to create all of this, he couldn't wait to get his hands on the actual Kaneki. He could only imagine how blissful it would feel as he ate and fucked the young boy at the same time.
It would all be perfect, he thought as he lifted himself up and couldn't help but manically laugh at the idea of the half-ghoul submitting to him. He would most likely have to wait and be even more careful while executing his plan - but he knew it would be so damn worth it.