My very first Harry Potter fic! I'm really nervous about it because it's my
10th attempt as a Harry/Ron and I don't know what I think about it... I'm
not sure this is Angst since I didn't figured out yet what that word
exactly meant, but I think it is... (I'm a native French speaker... so if
there are a lot of mistakes, I apologize 10 times for each of them) It's
meant to be a one shot but... I have a kind of tradition with one shots...
If someone asks for a sequel , I write one willingly... Except if I have a
pretty good reason not to, but for this fic I've no reason not to do so...
Disclaimer: I sadly don't own them... They're J.K. Rowling's (You're surprised aren't you! O_o)
Here's a little message I have to share with all of you; Your life will never feel complete if you don't read 'If it's meant to be' by Jair and ' So, Is everybody so lonely when they're in love' by ronweasley1029 . These two authors should be the definition of perfection in the dictionary, believe me.
"You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words won't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words won't bring you down"
-'Beautiful', By Christina Aguilera (I usually don't really like her songs, and for me, "Dirrty" was a real abomination, but there's something about this song that really touches me...)
You are Beautiful...
Ron was standing alone in the dormitory.
Being alone in that room was really something rare... With four other rather 'active' boys living there with him, it didn't happen very often, that it didn't. Sure, there was a reason why he was alone... They were all in the Great Hall, eating breakfast. 'Breakfast'... this word was almost unknown to him now... as much as 'lunch' 'dinner' or simply 'food'... Just associating images with those words in his head made him want to throw up...
Because it's being a very long time since he ate for the last time...
"A week? Perhaps more... How many days are there in a week? Seven? Nine? What is the number after nine?" He wondered, looking at his reflection...
Anybody would have seen a tall young man with red hair and freckles all over his face, and he used to see that too, but now he saw some kind of frightening monster... Something so ugly that it didn't even deserved being taken care of... No need to eat, no need to sleep... The hideous creature he was seeing in the mirror started to look sick and dying and somehow, he felt that it was how it should be. He had to kill the ugly thing.
He took off his robe and smiled when he saw that the monster seemed even more miserable without it.
'Have to get the ugly thing out of the way... Have to get it away from Harry...' he thought as his smile grew wider.
Ron's mind was slowly getting confused... But when he caught some coherent thoughts, he did everything he could to keep them... Trying almost uselessly to stay sane... But the thoughts he kept weren't of any good for him...
'Couldn't protect him... couldn't be there when the dark Lord tried to kill him...'
An unnoticed tear ran down his cheek. Somewhere deep inside, he knew that he was the dying monster, but he didn't care anymore. Because it was unwanted, it was nobody, it was repulsive, it wasn't good at anything, it was unnoticed, it was a failure. Because it was him. And he knew that something so...bad didn't deserve to be near Harry.
Because that was the key...
When his low self-esteem and his love for Harry Potter got mixed up, he stopped to see Ron Weasley in the ice. The still conscious part of his mind tried to remember his memories with Harry, but only a few would come... And unhappily not the good ones...
Mostly memories of their fight, last year, but also memories he had pushed far away in his mind...
Every little thing Harry had done that could've hurt him... The way he told him "Later!" when he had tried to talk to him before he left for the Chamber of secrets... The way he hadn't even looked at him when he was in his bed in the infirmary last year after the third task...And many others... He hadn't mind them before, but now they seemed so awfully significant...
Many other tears fell on his face as he fingered the surface of the mirror.
Harry didn't want of him as a friend. It was now so evident to him... How would he ever want him as a... boyfriend... or lover... No bloody way! He was surely not good enough for him... He had considered this point in the train, the first time he had met him, this though was always in his mind since then, but now that he was so confused that it seemed to be the only thing he was thinking about since the day he first saw the monster. Since the first day he stopped to eat and sleep. And at the very moment, the only thing the still-rational part of him could think of was...
...Was that no body had seen what had happened to him...
He always knew that it would be this way but... but he had always hoped that... that someone would care... Anybody... Most importantly Harry, or Hermione... but also Fred and George, Seamus, Dean, Neville or even Trelawney! Damn! She's a Divination teacher she should know! Someone should see that he was slowly and painfully dying... But it just proved what he always knew...
No Body Cares...
He collapsed, hitting the mirror in his fall. The mirror broke and as Ron fell on the floor, many pieces penetrated his pale flesh. But he felt no pain. No pain at all because he was already suffering so much. He'd have done anything just to hear someone walk through the door at the very moment... Anybody... Even Malfoy... anybody! The still-sane part of his psyche ached to be found, to be rescued, but his fevered mind told him that it was better this way. That the ugly monster had to disappear. For Harry's sake...
"...Save me..." he whispered as his body, racked by sobs gave in to the sensation of pure pain.
The pieces of mirror dug deeper in his skin, spreading Ron's blood all over the floor around him...
"Harry...I love you so much..."
That was the only thing the two part of his mind agreed on...
The End (or maybe not... you decide...) Leave a review to tell me what you think, I absolutely love those! ^^
Franny Moon
"I'm all alone ...tonight
nobody cares tonight
'cause I'm just a kid...tonight..."
-'I'm just a kid' ,By Simple Plan
Disclaimer: I sadly don't own them... They're J.K. Rowling's (You're surprised aren't you! O_o)
Here's a little message I have to share with all of you; Your life will never feel complete if you don't read 'If it's meant to be' by Jair and ' So, Is everybody so lonely when they're in love' by ronweasley1029 . These two authors should be the definition of perfection in the dictionary, believe me.
"You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words won't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words won't bring you down"
-'Beautiful', By Christina Aguilera (I usually don't really like her songs, and for me, "Dirrty" was a real abomination, but there's something about this song that really touches me...)
You are Beautiful...
Ron was standing alone in the dormitory.
Being alone in that room was really something rare... With four other rather 'active' boys living there with him, it didn't happen very often, that it didn't. Sure, there was a reason why he was alone... They were all in the Great Hall, eating breakfast. 'Breakfast'... this word was almost unknown to him now... as much as 'lunch' 'dinner' or simply 'food'... Just associating images with those words in his head made him want to throw up...
Because it's being a very long time since he ate for the last time...
"A week? Perhaps more... How many days are there in a week? Seven? Nine? What is the number after nine?" He wondered, looking at his reflection...
Anybody would have seen a tall young man with red hair and freckles all over his face, and he used to see that too, but now he saw some kind of frightening monster... Something so ugly that it didn't even deserved being taken care of... No need to eat, no need to sleep... The hideous creature he was seeing in the mirror started to look sick and dying and somehow, he felt that it was how it should be. He had to kill the ugly thing.
He took off his robe and smiled when he saw that the monster seemed even more miserable without it.
'Have to get the ugly thing out of the way... Have to get it away from Harry...' he thought as his smile grew wider.
Ron's mind was slowly getting confused... But when he caught some coherent thoughts, he did everything he could to keep them... Trying almost uselessly to stay sane... But the thoughts he kept weren't of any good for him...
'Couldn't protect him... couldn't be there when the dark Lord tried to kill him...'
An unnoticed tear ran down his cheek. Somewhere deep inside, he knew that he was the dying monster, but he didn't care anymore. Because it was unwanted, it was nobody, it was repulsive, it wasn't good at anything, it was unnoticed, it was a failure. Because it was him. And he knew that something so...bad didn't deserve to be near Harry.
Because that was the key...
When his low self-esteem and his love for Harry Potter got mixed up, he stopped to see Ron Weasley in the ice. The still conscious part of his mind tried to remember his memories with Harry, but only a few would come... And unhappily not the good ones...
Mostly memories of their fight, last year, but also memories he had pushed far away in his mind...
Every little thing Harry had done that could've hurt him... The way he told him "Later!" when he had tried to talk to him before he left for the Chamber of secrets... The way he hadn't even looked at him when he was in his bed in the infirmary last year after the third task...And many others... He hadn't mind them before, but now they seemed so awfully significant...
Many other tears fell on his face as he fingered the surface of the mirror.
Harry didn't want of him as a friend. It was now so evident to him... How would he ever want him as a... boyfriend... or lover... No bloody way! He was surely not good enough for him... He had considered this point in the train, the first time he had met him, this though was always in his mind since then, but now that he was so confused that it seemed to be the only thing he was thinking about since the day he first saw the monster. Since the first day he stopped to eat and sleep. And at the very moment, the only thing the still-rational part of him could think of was...
...Was that no body had seen what had happened to him...
He always knew that it would be this way but... but he had always hoped that... that someone would care... Anybody... Most importantly Harry, or Hermione... but also Fred and George, Seamus, Dean, Neville or even Trelawney! Damn! She's a Divination teacher she should know! Someone should see that he was slowly and painfully dying... But it just proved what he always knew...
No Body Cares...
He collapsed, hitting the mirror in his fall. The mirror broke and as Ron fell on the floor, many pieces penetrated his pale flesh. But he felt no pain. No pain at all because he was already suffering so much. He'd have done anything just to hear someone walk through the door at the very moment... Anybody... Even Malfoy... anybody! The still-sane part of his psyche ached to be found, to be rescued, but his fevered mind told him that it was better this way. That the ugly monster had to disappear. For Harry's sake...
"...Save me..." he whispered as his body, racked by sobs gave in to the sensation of pure pain.
The pieces of mirror dug deeper in his skin, spreading Ron's blood all over the floor around him...
"Harry...I love you so much..."
That was the only thing the two part of his mind agreed on...
The End (or maybe not... you decide...) Leave a review to tell me what you think, I absolutely love those! ^^
Franny Moon
"I'm all alone ...tonight
nobody cares tonight
'cause I'm just a kid...tonight..."
-'I'm just a kid' ,By Simple Plan