I had this song stuck in my head so I thought I'd write a little fic about it x
You are out of my mind, you aren't seeing my side,
You waste all this time trying to get to me,
But you are out of my mind,
"I'm sorry, it's just... one of those days."
She had used that phrase a lot in the past few weeks. After that time when she froze in theatre, when Mo caught her off guard when Mia died. The day after Arthur's wedding. It just hurt her so much to know that her best friend had just months to live. Zosia felt so selfish; she had her whole life ahead of her to travel the world, start a family and hopefully one day become a consultant. Yet he didn't have that. He only had eight or nine weeks before he would fade away, become just another tombstone in a graveyard, leaving a hole in everybody's heart that knew him.
"I'm just one of those people who destroy everything." she wrote in her journal, "Ollie's out of my mind, he doesn't see my side. Arthur's dying and I can't be there for him. The world's better off without me in it."
The journal wasn't her idea. It was something her psychologist had suggested to her. According to him, Zosia should record how she feels every night and rate the day out of 10. Today was a 4. Maybe even 3. She crossed out the last sentence. The world wasn't better off without her; she saved the lives of people she didn't even know and gave them a few more Christmases to enjoy with their families. Shame she couldn't do the same for her best friend.
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