A/N: Okay so on Tumblr, my awesome Beta Boys3allC asked for someone to write a fic where Beverly, Amy and Mary have a girls conversation. I hope I didn't disappoint.
I don't own the characters...I just like to take them out to play.
Penny had warned her. She was beginning to wonder why she hadn't listened to her in the first place. The only thing that could have made this day worse would have been if her mother had come as well. Her mother, however, wanted no parts of this day. She was so upset that it wouldn't be just her and Amy that she refused to come. She remembered when she called to ask her to join them.
"Hi mom." Amy had greeted her mother when she answered the phone.
"Amy! It is so good to hear from you." Her mother said sweetly. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"
"Well I wanted to know if you wanted to go dress shopping next Sunday afternoon." Amy had said.
"What time?" Her mother had asked quickly.
"Well Sheldon's mom is going to church at 10:00." She had started.
"Wait we are going with Sheldon's mom?" She asked.
"Well she is in town for Penny's baby shower so Sheldon suggested that maybe we all go looking." Amy told her.
"All?" Her mother asked. "Who else will be joining us?"
"Just Mary and Beverly." Amy answered.
"Who's Beverly?"
"Leonard's mother." Amy answered. She was sure she had told her mom about Dr. Beverly Hofstadter. Beverly asked to join them as part of her new book on high achieving couples and wanted a perspective of how they plan a wedding.
"No." Her mother had informed her.
"What do you mean no? I thought you wanted to help me pick my wedding dress." Amy was confused.
"I do but I don't want to go with your future mother-in-law and some other random woman. This is something that should just be for a mother and daughter." Her mother had informed her.
"Well that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. We are going at 1pm on Sunday afternoon. We will be going to Panache Bridal Salon on Fair Oaks Avenue in Pasadena, if you care to join us." Amy told her.
"Well I won't be coming so don't worry about me." She said and then hung up on Amy.
"Well that went well." Amy said to herself, after she hung up the phone.
Now Amy was stuck with Mary and Beverly all by herself. She knew they didn't get along very well but had hoped they would put aside their differences for the sake of the task they were doing this particular day. She had been completely wrong. They hadn't even gotten to the dress shop and the chaos started. Amy thought that since these wonderful women were more than happy to join her in this adventure she would treat them to lunch first. She took them to the Mexican restaurant that she had fallen in love with the year prior.
When they sat down and ordered their food, the conversation was going very well.
"So Amy what kind of a dress do you think you want?" Mary had asked her.
"I'm not exactly sure but I do know what I don't want. I don't think my body would look right in a mermaid style dress. Plus I have no idea how those girls walk in those dresses"
"Very wise." Beverly said. "You want to be able to move in your dress. Have you thought about what Sheldon would like?" She asked.
"Actually he doesn't understand the whole concept of this dress buying stuff. If he had his way we would go down to the courthouse tomorrow and get married."
"Well you know in the eyes of God you two are already married." Mary told her.
"Oh dear Lord, not this again." Beverly started.
"Not what again?" Amy asked her. She had heard that Mary and Beverly had fought the weekend they came to see Sheldon and Leonard accept their award.
"This nonsense about once you sleep together you are married." Beverly said.
"It is not nonsense." Mary said.
"So using your logic, you are married to my ex-husband." Beverly told her.
"Well now that is different." Mary stuttered.
"And of course you are married to the gentleman that Sheldon caught you with a few years ago." Beverly stated.
"How do you know about that?" Mary asked.
"You do know your son talks to me about many things. He was scarred for a long time after what he saw." Beverly said.
"Yes well we are not talking about me right now. We are talking about Sheldon and Amy. They are essentially married now." Mary said.
"You have such a double standard. How can you tell your son he is married but you can sleep with two men but aren't married to them?" Beverly countered.
"I am not a perfect person." Mary stated.
"Neither is Sheldon." Amy laughed. The two women looked at her. They had forgotten she was there when they were arguing.
"I never said he was." Mary said.
"Yes but if he sleeps with his girlfriend he is married in 'the eyes of God'" Beverly said. "Yet you sleep with my ex-husband and some other random man and you aren't? How absolutely ludicrous."
"Alright ladies, that is enough. Sheldon and I are getting married in a few months whether we are married in the eyes of God or not. We will be married in the eyes of the law then. So knock it off. I am not going to spend the entire time shopping for my wedding dress with you two fighting. If I wanted that I would have gone with just my mother." Amy yelled at them.
"You are right, Amy. I apologize for my behavior." Beverly said to her.
"I am sorry too." Mary said.
"So back to Sheldon, he really just wants to get married at the courthouse?" Beverly asked.
"He just doesn't understand the need for all the pomp and circumstance involved in the wedding."
"So what changed his mind?" Beverly asked.
"Well isn't that obvious?" Mary asked. "Amy did of course."
"Actually I didn't. Meemaw talked him into a big wedding. You know he would do anything for her." Amy told them.
"He's been like that since he was little. Anything my mother would ask him to do, he would do it. I can understand why she wants to see at least one of her grandchildren have a big wedding. George will probably never get married to that whore he is dating. Missy and Rick got married in a quick ceremony before he got deployed. We had a nice reception when he came back but it was just a reception no ceremony." Mary said.
"Well it is very nice that he is willing to compromise for his grandmother but what about for Amy?" Beverly asked. "Did you want a big wedding?"
"When I was a little girl, my dad used to read me fairy tales. After he left, I used to dream that a handsome prince would come and rescue me from my mother. He would sweep me into his arms and take me to his palace. We would have a huge wedding in front of all the kingdom. My mother found all my Disney movie collections and she threw them all away and told me they were for children and taught little girls that all that was needed in life was a good man and all would be perfect. She was bitter about my father leaving her."
"Oh that is so sad." Mary said.
"Did you still see your father after he left?" Beverly asked her.
"I did and I still do. My mother didn't have a choice but to let me see him after the court ordered it. She tried to fight it but I said I wanted to see him. I told him what my mom did to my movies so he bought them all for me and we would watch them every weekend. She had no idea. Eventually I did understand that they were just stories and that no prince would ever come into my life. I was miserable in high school. Mom told me that I was just too shy. Dad told me the other boys and girls were jealous of my intelligence. I realized I didn't need friends or a boyfriend to be happy."
"So what changed your mind?" Beverly asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" Mary asked. "She met my Shelly."
"He is most of the reason but also Penny and Bernadette. I never had girlfriends before I met Sheldon. When he introduced me to the girls, I thought they hated me. Actually Penny didn't really like me much when we first met."
"Well Penny isn't as smart as you are." Beverly pointed out. "She was probably intimidated by your intelligence."
"Actually I know that wasn't it. Bernadette is very intelligent also. I think it was my demeanor. I wasn't very sociable having not had friends growing up. I didn't know how to act around other women. And let's face it, Penny is one of those girls that made fun of girls like me in high school. She wasn't the type of person I ever would have imagined hanging out with back then. But I was persistent and eventually I won her over after I toned it down." Amy said.
"You said Sheldon had a lot to do with your change of heart also," Beverly started. "What did he do to help?"
"He and I had very similar thoughts about romantic relationships. You know we met on one of those dating websites, right?" Amy asked the women.
"I was aware you had been set up by Raj and Howard. I don't think Sheldon ever went into any details. I can't believe Sheldon would allow his name to ever go on one of those sites." Mary said.
"And if you were so against dating, why were you online dating?" Beverly asked.
"As far as myself, I made a pact with my mother, who once I hit twenty-five years old, felt I needed to date. She got over my father when she met a man at her church. Then she thought all I needed was a man like him and I would be happy so I agreed to go on one date a year. She put my name on several sites but it never worked until Sheldon. And I had put my name on the site we were matched. I went to a higher IQ dating site, which apparently Raj and Howard had also put Sheldon's name on as well. He was blackmailed into coming to meet me." Amy told Beverly.
"So he had no intention of ever dating?" Beverly asked him. She had known this but was curious as to what changed his mind.
"Not at all. He showed up telling me that the math involved was hokum and I was being hoodwinked into thinking I could find true love from a website." Amy said.
"What changed his mind, if you know?" Beverly asked.
"I don't know what changed his mind about love, but when we started seeing each other it had to do with my line about coitus being off the table." Amy told him. Mary choked on her water.
"Excuse me?" Mary asked.
"I told Sheldon before we proceeded on our date that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus were off the table." Amy said. "After that he offered to buy me a beverage."
"See my Shelly did feel the same way as I did about sex." Mary said.
"I wouldn't say that." Amy said. "He found it ridiculous and off putting. And to be honest I felt the same. I had gone most of my life without friends. I didn't need anyone to make me happy. My dad loved me. My mom tried her hardest to be happy with me but she never was. I only agreed to go out was because I didn't want to disappoint her. When I met Sheldon, I knew there was something different about him. He was so different than any of the other men I had met. He intrigued me. This is why I agreed to let him buy me a beverage."
"So when did you know you loved him?" Beverly asked.
"I would say it slowly happened over the first year of our relationship. I knew I wanted more but he didn't so I never pushed. You have to take your time with Sheldon and let him think he's made the decisions."
"You know, Sheldon's father used to say the same thing to me." Mary told her. "He was always so difficult to understand but my late husband knew he needed to be patient with him. Eventually Shelly always came around to seeing things the right way even if he hated the results."
"This is truly fascinating. Two adults who had absolutely no desire for romance having a love story that truly could be a movie." Beverly commented. "I must say when Leonard told me about you Amy, I researched you."
"You did?" Amy questioned. "Why?"
"Well I must say, I have always been fascinated by Sheldon. Like I said to you last year, Sheldon has a brilliant and complicated mind. He had a mind very similar to me." Beverly said.
"Sheldon is not like you." Mary said.
"No not exactly but he had similar thoughts. I never found the need for romantic love."
"But you were married with children." Amy said.
"Yes but I didn't marry Alfred for love. We went into it as a science experiment and then he changed." Beverly said.
Amy looked at Beverly. She and Sheldon had started their relationship much the same way. She looked a bit worried. "What happened then?"
"Well I didn't need the intimacy that Alfred needed. He wanted more than our annual sex. He talked me into having three children just so we could see if we would get a classic middle child." Beverly said.
"So that is why Leonard is the way he is?" Mary asked, incredulously. "You had children as a science experiment?"
"We had a third child as an experiment." Beverly corrected.
"Yes but is your youngest the experiment?" Mary asked.
"No it has always been Leonard." Beverly answered.
"No wonder he seeks love everywhere." Amy said. "I can't imagine doing that to my children." She was beginning to feel better about her relationship with Sheldon. They had discussed the possibility of children and knew that they would have to start pretty soon after marriage since they were not getting any younger.
"Have you two discussed children?" Beverly asked.
"Well we have been thinking about having children since we met."
"And yet you were not in love then, am I correct in asking this?" Beverly said.
"You are. We had thought about gifting humanity with our progeny." Amy told her.
"So you are telling me that Sheldon and you are not going to be using your children as science experiments." Beverly stated.
"Absolutely not! When we first talked about it, yes. But since we have discussed how horrible that would be to the children. Sheldon has pointed out how Leonard turned out. No we will be having children because we want to love them and nurture them and yes hopefully bring some more intelligence into the world."
"That is very sweet." Mary said.
"So how is sex with Sheldon?" Beverly asked. "Does he have a large penis?"
Amy blushed. She could not believe that Beverly asked that question. Actually she could because she had been told by Penny that she asked her the same type of questions. The truth was she was dying to answer these questions. She had been questioned by her friends but never shared too much because she knew her friends would gossip and Sheldon would never hear the end of it.
"Well um…" Amy started but Mary interrupted.
"Beverly that is completely inappropriate!" Mary scolded her.
"No it is not." Beverly said. "I asked Penny the same thing about Leonard."
"Are you kidding?" Mary asked. "You will not be asking my future daughter in law about my son's penis!" She said this a bit louder than intended. This drew looks from those around them.
"I don't see how that is inappropriate. I would like to know if Amy is satisfied." Beverly told her.
Before Mary could retort she answered her. "I have absolutely no complaints in that department Beverly. Sheldon truly excels in everything he does." Amy told her. She smiled when she thought about just how thorough Sheldon was when taking care of her needs.
"Well that is good to hear." Mary said. "Now can we get back to dress styles?"
"Of course." Amy said. She knew Mary was uncomfortable with this discussion and she didn't want to make her feel that way.
The three spent the rest of lunch discussing dresses and then went to the appointment. Amy tried on four dresses and liked two of them. She wanted to get other opinions so made no final decision on a dress. She wanted to have her mother and her bridesmaids look and help her make a final choice. Amy dropped Beverly and Mary off at their hotel on the way back to Los Robles. When she walked through the door she found Sheldon with Leonard and Penny.
"How was it?" Penny asked.
"Well from talk of how we are already married in the eyes of God to how Sheldon is a sex God in bed it was interesting." Amy answered. Leonard spit out his water while Penny laughed. Sheldon just smiled.
"I told you it would be." Penny said.
"That you did. That you did." Amy said and laughed.
If you liked it please leave a review.
I will be updating my multi-chapters soon I promise.
These one shots have been bugging me for a few days.