A.N: I do not own any of the characters that are in the TV show 'Gilmore Girls' but I do take credit for the others. The name of the fanfic might change but the story will go on as it is, you're welcomed to send me reviews if you want to. Before you start reading I'm just gonna say it again, this is a TRORY and it's not gonna change. Enjoy…
It takes place after 'Run away little boy' and I know what you might think: 'oh god no, not another one' but I started writing this one a long time ago and it's finished and everything but it's hand written and it takes time to write into the computer so you know… you don't care, whatever.
It's Tristan's thoughts through the whole story, that's all you need to know, and now for the last time: I hope you enjoy it…
Don't judge a book by its cover
Chapter 1:
Do you know how people say that things have to get worse before they could get any better? Well, now I know that it's true.
Walking away from Hartford, and getting on that plane was a hard thing to do.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"So how's everyone?" I asked Josh.
"We miss you, but I think good."
"That's great. Say is…" I stopped.
"Rory's fine."
"What? Why would I care?"
"Come on, Dugrey, everyone knows that you've got the hots for her…"
"So how was the formal? Did you have any fun?" I ignored his words.
"Get this, Brant and Rita are dating."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No." I could hear him laugh at the thought of them together.
"So, everything's just fine?"
"You don't have to be shy, I know what's on your mind. She was there."
"Who are you talking about?" I knew exactly who he was talking about and he knew that too, and he just loved playing with my mind.
"Gilmore."
"Was she alone?" I was hoping to hear that she was, "Not that I care."
"No. Actually, come to think of it, she was with that guy."
"What guy?"
"The same one from the last formal."
"I hate him."
"Figures."
"Look, I don't care what you think, I don't even like Rory." I was really getting frustrated, everyone saw it, and I mean everyone, and she had to be so blind.
"I know you since we were little and you've never acted around any girl the way you do around her. Even if you don't want to admit it, or just in denial yourself, I know that you've got it bad."
"Gina called." I wasn't in the mood to talk about it.
"What did she want?" He let me off the hook.
"Oh, you know, just to know when I was coming back."
"And when might that be?"
"I have no idea. It's up to my father, and we both know that."
"Get this, Chilton decided to give us some book with the greatest moments, it's filled with pictures and all sorts of funny jokes. But the funny thing is that they called it 'The Golden Moments of Chilton' how lame is that?" I heard him chuckle.
"Why are you telling me this?" I inquired.
"Because I got you one."
"Then send it to me."
"Don't worry, it's already taken care of."
"So how's it going with Jane?"
"You know Jane..."
"Still haven't got her to go out on a date with you?"
"She's a tough one."
"I know what you mean, so is Rory."
"You mention her all the time, why can't you just admit it?"
"There's nothing to admit. She's different but that's the end of it."
"Different how?"
"Just different."
"Well, there's a picture of the two of you in that book."
"What picture?"
"Two actually…"
"What?"
"Yeah, you look pretty good together."
I couldn't help but smile
"Look, I'll send it to you. I really have to go, you know how my mom is and she needs me for something so I'd better go."
"I'll talk to you soon."
"Hang in there…"
"Yeah, bye." I hung up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I came back to my room only to find the guys in the middle of another 'hang out' as they called it, they were laughing again. I guess that was the greatest thing around this place, no one was judged, I could be who I wanted to be and I was welcomed.
No one really cared where I came from or even how much money my father had, hell; they wouldn't care if I were a king. We were all here for the same reason, in one way or another, something went wrong and we were sent here by our parents or someone else. No big deal, just teenagers with problems (what an unusual thing…).
"So, how are things back home?" Don asked.
"Everything's moving along, you know how it is. Life goes on without me."
"You'll get used to it. Eventually…" he tried to assure me.
"I hate this place." Why did my father have to send me here?
"You're not the only one. I mean, look around you." He gave me a smile trying to show me that they all felt the same way.
"So what is this, a guys night only?" I joked, trying to forget where I was.
"Funny, Dugrey. Want a smoke?"
"I think I'll pass."
"Your loss." He lit up a cigarette.
"So, Matt, how are things with your girl?"
He smiled at the mention of his beloved Judy, "She's fine. I just miss her a lot, but you know what I'm talking about."
I ignored the obvious hint, "And what about you, John?" I turned to look at him.
"She ended it, she feels like I'm neglecting her. How can she feel that when she knows that I have no choice but to be here? How stupid can she be?"
I smiled at his words, "Then I guess it's just you and me now, single and on the looks…"
"You're not looking, you've already found the girl you want. If you could change anything I bet that right now you'd be on the phone, talking to that Rory girl that you dig so much." He chuckled to himself.
"What Rory?" Damn, here we go again…
"The one that her name's all over your math notebook." Don smiled.
"And don't forget American Literature…" Matt added with a smirk.
"Or Biology…" John looked at me with an amused look.
"And last but not least, from what we've seen that is, Chemistry." Another annoying smile from Don's direction.
"Oh, that Rory. I thought that you were talking about someone else."
"What kind of name is that, anyway?" John asked.
"Her name is Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, okay?"
"Nice name." Matt smiled.
"Yeah, do you have a middle name too?" Don looked at me with a vicious look in his eyes and smiled.
We all started laughing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The week passed on without any exciting events and all the four of us just passed it along without getting into any trouble, just hanging out and having as much fun as we could have in that place.
We were now just sitting and talking in our room when a women stepped in, "Hello, where can I find Mr. Dugrey?"
I got up from my bed, "I'm Mr. Dugrey. How may I help you?"
"I was sent here to tell you that you have a package waiting for you in your instructor's room. She's waiting." As she finished saying those words she turned around and left.
"What do you think it is?" I asked, faking enthusiasm.
"Maybe your parents sent you a care package…" Don said, using the same tone I used.
"Think back," John said, "It's probably the thing Josh said he'd send you."
"Ruin all the fun…" I said sarcastically, "I'm gonna go get it." I left the room in a hurry to get my package.
I came to my instructor's room and knocked on the door, as I heard her voice saying 'come in' I walked inside and stood by the door quietly, waiting for her to finish her phone call and acknowledge my presence, "Hello, Tristan, how is everything going?" she asked with a smile as she put the receiver back to its place.
"Fine, I guess."
"I see that you got my message."
"Yes. I got your message."
"Well then," she got up from her chair, went to a cabinet at the other end of the room, pulled a package out of it and handed it to me, "Here you go."
I walked to where she stood and took the package out of her hands, "Thank you." I said as I turned around and left the room.
I went outside with the package in hand and sat on a random bench there, I looked at the sealed package for a while before opening it.
When I finally did open the package what I found was a luxurious book, it was some shade of brown with the words 'The golden moments of Chilton' engraved in gold on it. It was something that only Chilton could do…
After a long moment I opened the book, and there, on the back of the binding, I found a feminine handwriting. I looked at the bottom and saw that it was signed by the name Rory Gilmore.
I stared at it for a moment, not even trying to read it yet just admiring her small and soft handwriting, and then started reading what it read,
Hi Tristan,
I know that you probably think it's weird that I would write to you, especially since we weren't the best of friend, but as I sat in class right before the lesson started a friend of yours (I think he said his name was Josh) came over to where I was sitting and asked me to write you something. He said that you were homesick and that a little familiarity would only do you good and so, as you can see, I write to you.
I hope you're doing okay, I didn't hear anything about you since I'm still friendless around here (Paris is all I'll say). I guess it's weird not having you around, I'd even risk it and say that I miss you and our little banters, it was nice to have someone to talk to…
Just in case you wanted to know I'm doing okay, I'd write you more but I'm not sure what to say since we're not that close anyway. I hope everything's okay.
Enjoy the book,
Rory Gilmore.
I couldn't help but smile to myself. We ended things on a pretty shaky ground and still; she took the time to write something to me. Even though we weren't this close she cared enough to want to help and bring some familiarity to my whereabouts.
I read her words again. She missed me; I couldn't help but smile again.
Carefully flipping through the pages I found a picture of the two of us, sitting on one of Chilton's benches and talking, she was smiling. This was definitely a conversation to remember, we had a civilized conversation and I think it was one of the few times that she genuinely smiled at me, we were talking about the night of the party and as I thought aloud that maybe it was a good idea to lay off girls for a while. She smiled and said that I just had to look for a different type of girls. Without even realizing it she described herself to me as the type of girls I should be looking for, after quieting for a moment she came up with the ludicrous idea that maybe I should ask Paris out.
I said I'd think about it and she left content…
I stared at the picture for a few more minutes before turning the pages again in search of our next picture.
I stopped as I found the second picture; there I was, leaning on the locker next to hers like I always did, smiling like crazy at her, moments before I ruined everything that was starting to build up between us. There we were, for just a second looking at each other and someone captured it.
I smiled softly again. I could only wish that I'd be back at Hartford soon.
I sat on that bench for a long time, just flipping through the pages and looking at the pictures. I couldn't help but smile, my friends and I had such a great time together and even though I was far from all of it at the moment it was something that just made me a little less homesick.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Hey man, I got the book." It was a few hours later and here I was, talking to Josh and still smiling brightly to myself.
"Did you see the inscription?" he asked.
"I still can't believe you asked her to write something."
"Well, we all know just how much you miss her and I thought that it might be a nice thing to have her write you something. It wasn't that hard anyway, I told her that all of your friends were doing it, and that since you're seeking for some familiarity it might help to get something from her since you two did spent a lot of time bickering."
"Bantering." I corrected him.
"Whatever you say."
"It was a nice surprise. I can't wait to be home…"
"When are you coming, anyway?" he inquired.
"Well, since most of the guys here failed their classes they have a completion week or something around here and since I didn't fail my classes-"
"Thanks to all of your friends…" he cut me off.
"Yes, thanks to all of you…" I continued, "I talked to my father and he said that maybe I could come home for a week or so. Though I have to get the school's permission in order to go home, so cross your fingers my friend, maybe you'll get to see me next week."
"Are you gonna come visit us at Chilton?"
"You can count on it…"
"What can I say, it'll be great to see you walking down the halls of Chilton again, right where you belong."
"I know. I can't wait."
"Oh, I forgot to tell you something."
"What?"
"I have a date with Jane tonight."
"Finally…"
"I put months into this, I hope I won't ruin it by saying the wrong thing or doing something that might wreck it all."
"I know you man, just be yourself, be cool."
"Says the guy who starts acting like a little boy every time he's near his precious little Gilmore…" his tone annoyed me.
"Funny. How is she anyway? She wrote that she's still alone around Chilton."
"Yeah, reading at lunchtime and listening to music, as always."
"Could you…?" I knew that he'd understand what I wanted without me having to say the words at all.
"If everything goes well with Jane I'll talk to her."
"I sort of thought that she and Sharon might hit it off…"
"Just leave it to me. I promise you that by next week she'll have plenty of friends."
"Thanks."
"It's no big deal, I mean, she seems like a nice girl and I'm sure that she and Sharon will hit it off just like you said, and I guess it'll be my good deed for the year. Besides, what are friends for?"
I smiled, "I should let you go now, you probably want to go get flowers for tonight or something like that."
"I guess I'll see you soon, my fingers are crossed."
"Yeah, I guess so. Bye."
"Bye."
"Have fun."
"Yeah." He hung up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"So, you're going home?"
"Awww… Don, don't worry. You know that I'm only leaving for a week, I'll be back and you can count on it, anything to make you feel better…"
"Funny, Dugrey. Have fun."
"Yeah, and don't forget to get the girl." Matt added.
"It's only a week, not a year. Don't expect miracles…" John smiled.
"I love it when people have so much support in me, it's just great that someone believes in me…" I joked.
"You know that it's the truth, Dugrey. The most you can get out of her is her friendship and we all know that."
"But just maybe she'll realize that she's been in love with him all along…" Don gave me an evil smile.
"Yeah, keep hope alive there…" John said, as if not noticing the sarcasm that dripped from Don's words. And as if that wasn't enough he was also smirking at me.
"Look, if we're friends by the time I get back here I'm more than happy." I said.
"Well, at least you get to get out of this place… I don't think I'll ever get to go home." Matt smiled at me.
"It's not home that I want to get to…" I said quietly.
"I thought that things were getting better with your parents." Don said.
"It's not them. They just don't know how to handle me. And so, they let others do their job, I can't blame them for not wanting to deal with me."
"Yes you-" Matt started.
"Anyway, we'll see how things going when I'll get back." I cut him off, not wanting to know what he had to say. This was my reality; at Hartford the hired help raised the kids …
"Yeah, just don't forget to have fun while you're at it." John said smiling, as if realizing what I was trying to do.
"We'll be missing you here, Dugrey…" Don added.
"And now is the time where we all cry…" John said sarcastically.
"Yeah, I'll see you guys soon." I lifted my bag off of the floor and threw it on my shoulder; with a last smile I left the room. I was going back to the familiarity of Hartford and my friends; this was going to be a good week…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The flight home wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I boarded the plane, seated myself on my seat and fell asleep almost instantly. The next thing I heard was the captain's voice, announcing that we were about to land in Hartford, Connecticut.
I smiled to myself, it felt good to go back, and even if it were for only a week, it felt good to back to the so familiar Hartford.
When I finally got off the plane it hurt me to find out that my parents didn't even bother to show up, I know that they're busy but I didn't feel very loved when I saw that no one even bothered to come and pick me up and me drive home. My parents just expected me to catch a cab home; they'd probably see me whenever it was possible for them. What hurt the most was that they didn't even bother to send the help, instead of making me feel that way they could have just said that they didn't want me there.
Instead of going home as I first planned I decided that it might do me some good to go to the place where I was king. I couldn't make myself go to an empty house, it's not like I wasn't used to it but at that moment being alone wasn't the greatest idea and so, I decided to go to Chilton, the place where everyone loved me, or so they pretended to. But at that moment it really didn't matter, all I wanted was to feel a little welcomed…
As the cab driver pulled over at Chilton's grounds I got out of the car, took by bag out of the trunk and after paying the cab driver and seeing him pull away I started walking in the direction of the main building.
With the bag still in my hands I walked to the courtyard and smiled to myself as I stopped to stare at the main building of Chilton, it felt good to be back, I knew that it was only for a short time but it was more than enough at that moment.
The sun was blinding, as always, but for some reason it seemed brighter that day and so, before putting my bag down I took out my sunglasses and put it on.
A girl I don't remember seeing before passed by me and smiled brightly my way, I smiled back. Giggling to herself enthusiastically she gave me another look before she walked into the building.
I couldn't help but smirk to myself, just by standing there I could make girls melt, I was back at my rightful place.
"Tristan, is that you?" I heard a voice from behind me.
As I turned around I saw Josh and Brant staring at me, amazement evident in their eyes, "What are you doing here?" Brant asked.
"Didn't Josh tell you that I was coming home for a week?"
"It wasn't for sure so I didn't want to get all the girls' hopes up and so, being the nice guy that I am I kept my mouth shut." Josh said, a smile forming on his lips.
"Home, sweet home…" I started smiling myself.
"It sure is sweet, isn't it?" I heard a very familiar voice.
Turning around to see who the person was I couldn't help but to smile at the figure in front of me, "Paris, how are you?"
She returned the smile, "Fine, just fine. What are you doing here, anyway?"
"A vacation from school for a week." I answered simply.
"Well, it's great seeing you but I really have to go or I'll be late for class." With one last smile she turned around and walked into the building.
"So, everything's just as I left it?" I turned my attention back to Josh and Brant.
"Pretty much, yeah." Brant smiled.
"So, how's Rita?" I asked.
His smile grew even wider at the sound of Rita's name, "She's good."
"And how is Jane?" I turned to Josh.
"Even better, I think." He gave me a knowing smile, "Rory's doing good too."
"And why exactly are you telling me this?" but as I said that I saw that he caught the smile that started to form on my lips.
"You should go to the library, it's very nice in there." He gave me a knowing look, "Have you been there today yet?"
"Aren't you late for class or something?" I asked.
"Yeah, I thought so…" he gave me another knowing look, "Come on, Brant, we don't want to get into trouble." They turned around and started walking in the building's direction, "I guess we'll see you at lunchtime, if you still remember where the cafeteria is…" Josh said without looking back.
I waited until I saw them disappear into the building, before heading in the library's direction.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After walking around for about five minutes I finally spotted her sitting on the floor, using one of the books' shelves as support for her back in the literature section.
Just sitting there and looking more beautiful than ever. How could she affect me so much just by sitting there and reading a book? How could she make my heart flitter just by putting a strand piece of hair behind her ear? How could she make me smile so brightly just by biting her bottom lip as she waited to see what the next sentence would bring? It was strange that she of all the girls that I've ever met caught my attention when all she wanted was to be invisible. It was great to see her again.
Realizing that staring at her for too long might get me into an awkward position I started walking in her direction, "Hey, Rory." I said quietly.
She looked up from her book, surprise evident in her eyes, "Tristan." She stated simply, her eyes not leaving mine.
Feeling a little uncomfortable I turned my eyes away from her, "Thank you for writing in the 'Golden Moments'." I said awkwardly.
"Don't mention it." She closed her book and stood up, "What are you doing back at Chilton?" she asked softly.
"I came back for a visit. Why aren't you in class?" I inquired.
"The teacher's sick and apparently they don't have a substitute."
I looked at her for a moment, "I missed you, you know…"
She smiled softly at the sound of my words
"How are you?"
"I'm okay." She looked at me for a moment, pondering over something, "Hey, you didn't call me Mary, is something wrong with you?"
"I'm not here for long, I just don't want to fight."
She smiled again.
"Well, since I'm not around for much longer and I can't screw it up this time, do you think we could start over or something?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I guess I mean that I want us to be friends."
"You do?" she looked amazed.
"Yes, I do."
"Well…"
"Come on, what do you say?"
She smiled.
"Should I take that as a yes?"
"Why would you want to be my friend?"
"To be honest, I think that we'd be great as friends."
"But what's the point of being friends if you're away?" she kept insisting.
"Just humor me…" I gave her a smile.
"And you'll be nice?"
"I'll be the same way I am at the moment."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart."
"Okay then," She extended her hand to me and I shook it, "I guess we're friends."
It was my turn to smile.
"What?" she asked, referring to my smile.
"Nothing. I'm just glad that we're friends."
"Well, then so am I."
I smiled.
She smiled back.
"Do you want to go get some coffee?" I asked.
"I'd love to." She flashed another smile before taking her jacket off the floor and following my lead to Josh' car.
After I had found the spare key to the car in its usual hiding place I unlocked the car and we both got in and left Chilton's grounds.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"So how long are you going to stay here?" she asked.
"A week." We were now seated in a small Café not too far from Chilton.
"Then maybe you should find a playmate, we don't want you to get bored..."
"I thought that we were friends. Doesn't being friends mean that we stop being cruel to each other?" I asked bitterly.
"Yes, it does. But I'm not being cruel; I'm just saying the truth. And the truth is that I don't think it's very nice to hook up with some random girl and then just throw her away when you get bored." She gave me a serious look.
"Just drink your coffee, Rory. I'm not in the mood to talk about it."
"Why do you do that, anyway?" She wouldn't let the subject drop.
"Rory…" I said warningly.
"Does it make you happy? 'Cause if it does then I'll just drop it."
"Why do you even care?"
"I don't get you, it doesn't seem to make you happy by your reaction. Why do you do it if it doesn't make you feel happy?" she kept insisting.
"I don't want to get serious, okay?"
"And when you're with someone and you don't feel anything you're okay with that?"
"There's a good reason for my actions, okay?"
"What reason?" she wouldn't let it go.
"Look, you're out of coffee, why don't I get you some more?"
"Tristan…" She looked at me, worry in her eyes, "You were the one who wanted to be friends."
"You don't have to be my friend if you don't want to be. I never forced a friendship on you." I got up, wanting to leave.
"It's not that, I want to be your friend but as you probably know, friends tell each other stuff."
"I know, I just don't want to talk about it." I sat down.
"Fine, then find something else to talk about."
"Are you and…" I trailed off.
"His name is Dean." Bagboy.
"Yeah, okay. Are you and Dean still together?" Please say no…
"Yes." Damn!
"And are you happy?"
"I wouldn't have been with him if I weren't…"
"Then I'm happy for the two of you…" I hate him.
"We should head back to school, I don't want to be late for my next class." She stood up, her disposable cup of coffee in her hand.
"I thought that you'd like talking about him."
"I'm gonna be late for class and it's going to be all your fault."
"Why don't you want to talk about him?" it seemed odd that she didn't want to talk about the guy she loved so much.
"Tristan…"
"I thought that friends tell each other stuff." I used her exact words from earlier.
"I dropped it when you asked me to."
"Is something wrong in paradise?"
"No. Everything's just great…"
"Why won't you tell me?"
"Tristan, I want to go."
"Rory, just tell me."
"There's nothing to tell, okay?"
"Let's make a deal, you tell me about Dean and I'll answer your questions."
"I don't want you to tell me something just because you feel like you have to or because you made some stupid deal with me…"
"Then just tell me and in time I'll answer your questions without you even having to ask them again."
"Can we at least do this on the way back to Chilton?"
"Yeah," noticing that we were still in the Café I stood up, "I didn't even notice that we were still here."
"Okay then…" she looked relieved.
"Let me just pay."
"And I'll pay you back in the car since my bag's in there."
"Come on, Rory, it's just coffee…"
"Fine, as long as I'm paying for the coffee next time."
I smiled, "We'll see…" I threw a bill on the table and we left the place.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"So… Tell me." I said as I started the engine.
"Now is not the time, I'll tell you about it some other time." Oh no you won't…
"You're not getting out of this…"
"Just drive, okay?" She turned to the window and ignored my presence for the rest of the drive back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As soon as I stopped the car in Chilton's parking lot she opened the door, took her backpack and left without saying a word.
"So, where have you two been?" I heard Josh' voice from behind me as I got out of the car myself.
"At a Café, drinking some coffee."
"So that's how you call it these days…" he smirked at me.
"It's Gilmore we're talking about here, don't forget that." Brant finally spoke.
He gave me a skeptical look, as if not believing a word I said.
"She has a boyfriend, you've met him." I said bitterly, "We're just friends." I spat out the last word.
"Not if it was up to you…"
"Well, it's not up to me as you can see." I said, frustrated.
"That's a new one…" he was trying to make me do something, I just wasn't sure what.
"Aren't you late for class?"
"And leave you here all alone to get bored?"
"I'll find something to do."
"Or someone to do…" he smiled again.
"Reading or something."
"The mighty Tristan Dugrey? I'm sure you'll find 'something' to do."
"Go get smarter, Langman…" I said warningly.
"Later, Dugrey." He left the parking lot with Brant behind him, leaving me all alone.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After walking around with no specific purpose I walked into the library in the hopes that maybe I'll find something interesting to read, just to pass time while the others were in class, studying. Apparently girls still found me attractive because some girl approached me as I was looking for a book and before I knew it we were locked at the lips in one of the aisles, it didn't feel wrong, in fact, it felt very right. It was the most natural thing to do; it was the thing that everyone expected the mighty Tristan Dugrey to do. It was just me, plain and simple.
I was concentrating on the girl in front of me when suddenly I heard Her voice coming from behind me, "Wow, your memory's not that good, huh?"
I turned to see her staring at me, disappointment and disgust evident in her eyes, it just killed me that she looked at me that way, "What are you doing here? I thought that you were in class, studying."
"Yeah, the teacher sent the entire class to do some assignment at the library and so, here I am, at the library."
"Is the book you're looking for might be on one of these shelves?" I asked, pointing to the shelves that surrounded us.
"No. I actually wanted to find a book to read."
"Don't you already have a book with you?"
"Yeah, but I wasn't in the mood to read it today and so, when I came to find something that might fit the mood I'm in I couldn't miss you and…" she stopped to think for a moment, "God, why do I even bother? It's not like you're ever going to change." She turned around and started walking toward the exit.
I followed her out, "Why do you even care?" I asked.
She whirled around to face me, shock in her eyes, "You are amazing, do you know that?" she spoke a little louder, now that we were out of the library. "We just had a talk about this whole thing and I kind of got the idea that you didn't like doing this, that you were sick of meaningless relationships."
"I never said that I wasn't happy with those relationships," I stated out dryly, "You just assumed I wasn't."
"People usually like talking about things that make them happy…"
"Well, I'm special."
"Okay, do these meaningless relationships make you happy?"
"I really don't get you, Rory, why do you even care?"
"You're impossible."
"And you're avoiding my question…"
"Look, all I know is that you apparently don't want to feel and life without feelings is worth crap, Tristan, I also don't think that it makes you happy…"
"You didn't answer my question, Rory. Why do you care?" I asked her again.
"I don't know, okay? All I know is that not so long ago we decided on trying a friendship. And I guess that I'm just being a friend, does that answer your question?"
"Don't forget that I'm Tristan, how else would you expect me to act? Do you think that it's so easy to change?"
"If you really wanted to change you could have, you just don't want to change and that's just too bad but I don't care anymore. I don't give a damn anymore. Just do what you want to do." She turned around and started walking away from me, in the building's direction.
Not being able to ignore my inner feeling I followed her, she couldn't just say those things and walk away, some things needed to be said. I caught up with her easily, she turned around to look at me, "What do you want?" she practically yelled it, "Go back to-" she paused for a moment, trying to find the name of the girl. when she failed to find one she continued, "whoever this girl is."
She resumed her walking and I followed her, "You want me to do what I want, right?" I asked her as we stepped into the building. She turned to look at me again, "Because I can do what I want to do, but you're not going to like it one bit…"
"I don't get you, Tristan, I thought that you wanted to change, why don't you just go back to the library and stop bothering me? I don't want to keep What's-her-name from waiting, she might get bored and you don't want that to-" not wanting to hear more I did the only thing I could think about, I closed the distance between us and smothered the hurting words with my lips. Losing control, I pushed her against the lockers behind her and deepened the kiss, she tasted so good that I just lost it; I was in pure heaven. Too shocked to move she just let me kiss her until she came back to her senses and pushed me away from her, "What are you doing?!"
"What I want to do…" I was still flushed from the way her lips felt against mine.
"I'm not some girl, Tristan. I'm not gonna participate in your stupid game."
"You told me to do what I wanted to, and I just did." I didn't know how to react to her hurtful words; she obviously wasn't affected by what just happened and it killed me, "What else could you possibly want?" I asked, not looking into her eyes.
"You know what, just one more thing… stay away from me." she pushed me even further away and walked out of the building.
I could feel the pain coursing through my veins, I couldn't understand why she was so blind, why couldn't she see that I only had meaningless relationships because the one that meant something didn't want anything to do with me. I knew that I could change if she only gave me the chance to prove it to her, there was just one catch, she was the only one who could help me change. But I blew it; I ruined every chance I had with her in that moment of weakness. I shouldn't have kissed her.
But then again, that kiss felt so right, it felt so good to be close to her and I ruined everything. She'll never let me come near her. Never.
There was nothing left for me to do there, so I just left Chilton's grounds and walked home, hoping that maybe some fresh air and the view would take my mind off her and all that's happened that day, but it didn't work.
"I'm home…" I yelled to no one in particular when I walked into the house, "Not that you even care." I murmured quietly a few moments later. I walked into the kitchen but as I saw the full coffee pot I remembered what's happened with Rory and my feeling only got worse.
I went up to my room, not hurrying as I walked up the stairs. I opened the door and found the room just as I left it, except for the pile of mail that rested on my desk. I grabbed the pile and put it on my bed as I sat down. I opened the first envelope; it was the usual mail- an invitation to some stupid party. I probably won't even be here…
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