Maybe he wait too long.
Maybe he joked around too much, maybe he should've been just a little more serious.
Maybe, he never even had a chance to start with.
He's never told Yumi, well, not all of it anyway. Felt that the geisha would reject him or, worst case scenario, she'd take pity on him if he ever said anything. So, like any other troubled teenager, he just left his true feelings unspoken, keeping them locked away safely in the back of his mind. There, logic and reason often won against the nerves, which prevented him from saying too much or anything stupid for that matter.
Most of the time, it doesn't bother him. He grins and bears it, takes it in stride, fends off the hurt with a sarcastic joke. He lies through is teeth without thinking twice about it, almost persuading even himself that the white lie had been the truth. Because...What else can he do? He can't tell Yumi how much he loves her, how just being around her brightens his day, makes his life worth enduring. Yumi is someone that he could see himself loving every single day without the slightest pause. It would never become boring or painful, that he would care and provide for her without a shadow of a doubt. He would do everything in his power to make her happy. To love her unconditionally and proudly, for the rest of his life.
He can't possibly tell Yumi that he's never felt more alive, more human, than when the geisha smiles at him.
Most of the time, Ulrich can pretend it doesn't hurt. He can pretend that he isn't affected by rejection. He can pretend that he doesn't feel second rate compared to William. He could barely stand it when he looks over to the love of his life and sees that Yumi is on her phone, no doubt messaging William. But, he had to pretend that his heart doesn't ache or shatter when it happens. Ulrich knows, he had always known, that it was never him. It wasn't meant to be.
But sometimes, when he's talking to Yumi in the courtyard and laughing about recent events or discussing battle tactics, or fighting against Xana beside her because they work perfectly with one another, taking out enemies swiftly and reading each others mind when it came to strategy. They played off the others strong points flawlessly. Or, when they're all gathered up in the library serving time in detention with Jim for skipping out on classes, Ulrich's thoughts can't help but wander into dangerous territory, corrupting his mind with 'what if's' and 'if only's'. That's when it hurts the most. That's when he can't pretend the agony doesn't exist. That is when he cannot pretend that he was okay.
It's especially the times when he's in his dorm alone, Odd probably out on a date with a girl he's convinced was 'the one', sitting on his bed with a stack of pictures resting besides him. As he looked through them, he noticed how Yumi was in every picture in the beginning then, towards the end, she was nowhere to be found. But, the pictures with Yumi and William side by side were the ones that made him ache the most. He hated the way Yumi seemed so at ease, the way her laugh seemed to genuine, the way being around William made her become her true self. Not the strong, level headed disguise she puts on around the group.
It's the way that they look at each other, like nothing else in the world even matters except them in that very second. The smile that is only for William. The smile Ulrich will never see himself, because it was never for him from the start.
He wasn't meant for her. It wasn't even a possibility.
It is that very moment that Ulrich knew he never had a chance.