In the near future, Thor and company left Asgard for a vacation. They decided to spend some time in our realm because, recently, Earth became a favorite target of super villain, mad scientist, evil wizards and aliens.
I have been appointed by Nick Fury as a counselor to help our Asgardian tourists get used to our way of life. It isn't easy dealing with gods and sometimes it really sucks to be the middleman. However, I like working with them since everyday life has never been that exciting before.
The following stories are transcriptions of a few recordings I did during my conversations with Thor, his family and friends.
#1 First question
During our first appointment I asked each one of our Asgardian friends why they were so eager to spend their vacation on Earth. Here are their answers:
THOR
I just wanted to enjoy the simple life. Making some new friends, doing some bar fights, taking driving lessons, eating Pop Tarts. Being a god can be really boring sometimes.
FANDRAL
I know there are a few beauties waiting for me on Earth. Perhaps, I will pay Lady Gaga a visit. She is not quite my type but she is an interesting... human being.
VOLSTAGG
Burger King, McDonald's, KFC, Subway…
SIF
Somebody has to look after those guys.
HOGUN
...
ODIN
I thought it was time to have a good rest. It's hard to rule a kingdom for thousands of years. And I want to know how things are going on Earth.
FRIGGA
Thor seems to be very in love with that mortal woman. As a mother, it's my duty to get to know my future daughter-in-law in person. My son only deserves the fairest of all ladies.
THOR
Of course, there is also Jane, the most beautiful and smartest woman in this realm…
FANDRAL
Is Lady Gaga a woman? No?
VOLSTAGG
Pizza Hut, Dunkin Donuts, Taco Bell…
SIF
They can be a bit of a handful.
HOGUN
...
ODIN
Centuries ago people on Earth worshipped us. In return we protected them as we were protecting our own children. But when they started to forget us we knew the time had come for us to let them spread their wings on their own. As far as I am aware of people on Earth are doing fine. Of course, they are still making many mistakes. But they are learning from their mistakes. And there are people who would do anything in their power to protect them.
FRIGGA
Jane seems to have a strong will for a woman despite having such a frail body. No wonder, Thor has fallen in love with her.
THOR
There is no woman like her in Asgard. She is one of a kind. And… Yes, I like her. Very much.
FANDRAL
Oh, well, nobody is perfect.
VOLSTAGG
Brown's Chicken Pasta, Fatburger, Steak 'n Shake…
SIF
They need a warrior like me to be around to keep them safe from troubles.
HOGUN
...
ODIN
But - in the name of my father and his father before - I still don' understand
why Bruce Banner's trousers don't tear to shreds when he transforms into the Hulk?
FRIGGA
She resembles me when I was younger.
THOR
It's going to be fun.