Title: Cloud Nine
Words: 4820 (I think this might be my longest one-shot so far…)
Summary: Kensi frowns, the smile still on her face despite everything that happened before he left for Hawaii. She's choosing not to think about that. "I'm not sure if this just happened. Have you backed down from an argument?"
AN: I'm going to ramble about my personal life in this note so don't read if you don't want to know what inspired this one-shot. I broke up with my boyfriend 6 weeks ago. The long distance just wasn't working for me. And, during the past two weeks, I've been talking to someone else every single night. That's what inspired this one-shot. Anyway, I hope you guys like it.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 1
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
She's sitting on her couch, relaxing after her second day of summer vacation. Kensi's not surprised when her phone rings and his name flashes on the screen.
She picks up the phone and answers, with a small smile. "Don't tell me you already miss me…"
She can almost hear his smirk on the other end of the phone. "I wanted to talk to someone. You know how much I like to talk, Fern."
They've only been apart for two days but that doesn't seem to matter. "Unless you're trapped somewhere, I'm sure you have many people there you can talk to."
His answer is the closest thing to a whine she's ever heard him say. Kensi can almost picture his small pout. "It's not the same. You're my partner."
She jokes because that's the only thing she can do at this point. "So you do miss me!"
However, his voice turns soft. "I never denied that."
Sensing they're going towards a path she doesn't want to follow, Kensi quickly changes the subject. "So, how's Hawaii?"
This time, she pictures his shrug. "It's Hawaii…it's warm, sunny and the waves are awesome."
"You're having a good time, then."
"It would be better had you accepted to tag along."
Yes, he tried to convince her to go with him and she was tempted to say 'yes' but her mother had changed her plans. "I promised my mom I would spend a few days with her seeing as I don't have that much free time."
"Yeah, I get that. So, how are you?"
"I'm a bit bored, to be honest. I'm not much of a summer person."
Deeks seems to sense she doesn't want to talk about their feelings, their 'thing, so he plays along. "Everyone is a summer person, Kensi. Are you going to tell me you prefer the winter?"
Kensi knows what he's doing and doesn't mind. Small-talk is a good thing. "Actually, the winter is much better than the summer."
"I'm not trying to rain on your parade but summer is much better! Everyone knows that…"
"Come on…don't you like being in front of the fireplace, covered in a nice fluffy blanket, with a girl curled to your chest to maintain body heat?!
"No, I don't. Summer is the perfect season. You can walk around all day with nothing but a shirt and a skirt."
"Yeah, but during the winter you can always put a coat on if you're cold. When you're too hot, nothing seems to work to cool you down."
Deeks sighs and she hears him turning on the TV. "We'll agree to disagree."
Kensi frowns, the smile still on her face despite everything that happened before he left for Hawaii. She's choosing not to think about that. "I'm not sure if this just happened. Have you backed down from an argument?"
"I'm getting soft."
Her doorbell rings and she knows they can't talk for much longer. She made plans with her mother. "I have to go. I'm going to the movies with my mom."
As she puts on her shoes to go answer the door, he replies. "Can I call you tomorrow?"
Kensi starts walking to the door. "Won't you call even if I say 'no'?"
His tone sounds slightly unsure when he answers her. "I probably will…but can I?"
She reassures him while opening the door for her mother to come in. "You can always call, partner."
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, then."
"Bye, Deeks."
And, with that, they hang up.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 2
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
She's getting ready to do the dishes after dinner when her phone rings and, upon looking at the clock, she's honestly surprised. "That's amazing."
Deeks sounds confused. "What is?"
"You called at the exact same time you did yesterday."
"I'm a very punctual person."
Kensi lets out a small laugh. "I think you're forgetting who you're talking to. I'm your partner. I'm the person who once waited 20 minutes outside your apartment. You're not punctual."
He laughs too as he answers her. "I am to the things I want to be."
"So you didn't want to go with me that day?"
"You mean the day you forced me to walk around the mall for three hours to buy Christmas presents for everyone on the team? No, I wasn't looking forward to that torture…"
"You could have said 'no'."
"You would have pouted."
She gets defensive with that one, even though she knows he's right. It's just part of their usual banter and they can't live without that. "Hey, I don't pout!"
"Yes, you do. You pout, Kensi. But it's okay because it's subtle and it's kind of cute."
Ignoring the 'cute' in that sentence, she carries on. "Anyway, what have you been up to today?"
"I spent a good portion of my afternoon looking for a present for my mom. Her birthday's in two weeks and I thought I should start looking for something."
Kensi smiles at his cuteness and sits on the couch. "That's kind of sweet of you. How old is she turning?"
"She's turning 65 years old. It's kind of an important one. She's throwing a party and everything."
Flipping through the channels, she's still focused on their conversation. "That sounds like fun."
He sounds unsure and hopeful at the same time. "I'm glad you think so because…well, I was kind of hoping you'd come with me."
Kensi's a bit surprised with his request. She's never met his mother. "You want me to go with you to your mom's birthday?"
"Yeah, I do. It's a four hours' drive but it will be fun. Will you?"
She thinks about it for a few seconds but ends up giving him a positive answer. "Yes, I'd like that."
That seems to satisfy him and he yawns. "Well, I'm beat. I need to go to get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow."
She smiles before answering him. "Sleep well."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 3
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
When her phone rings, she feels conflicted. She knows he's going to realize something's not right with her if she answers but he'll realize it too if she doesn't.
She tries to sound normal but her voice doesn't come out right. "Hi, Deeks."
He immediately picks it up and sounds worried. "What's with the gloomy voice?"
Kensi tries to deny it. It's pointless but she still tries. "It's my normal voice."
"Am I supposed to pretend I believe you?"
Sighing, she gives up. "My father…I've been thinking about him today."
"Why is that?"
Kensi feels like opening up to him and does just that. Deeks is, after all, her partner. "My mother showed me a few pictures this morning and he's been on my mind ever since."
His voice is soft, soothing. "He was a great man."
"You never met him."
"No, but I know you and you've told me a lot of things about him. He was a great man."
After a few seconds of silence, her voice breaks as she speaks, emotions cursing through her veins. "Do you think he would be proud of me?"
Again, he seems to do whatever he can to soothe her. "You're exactly the way he raised you to be. He would be very proud, Kenz."
She breathes deeply and it actually calms her down. "Thank you, Deeks."
"You know you can call me whenever you want to, right? You don't have to wait for me to call you at night…"
"You're on vacation…I don't want to get in the way of your fun."
"You never get in the way of anything. You should know that by now."
She doesn't know if her answer is a warning or a way to make him realize this is not the time for that conversation. "Deeks…"
He sighs, understanding her message. "Yeah, I know."
She looks at the time and realizes she has to go and have some dinner. "I have to go."
"That's okay."
This time, she's the one who sounds unsure. "Will you…will you call tomorrow?"
Deeks, however, doesn't even hesitate. "Of course I will. Good night, Kensi."
And she doesn't hesitate either. "Good night, Marty."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 4
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
She's sort of worried. He's 30 minutes late with his phone call and she's scared. Maybe something happened. Or maybe she scared him off the day before. No, that can't be it. Marty Deeks is not that easily scared. When her phone rings, she sighs in relief and picks it up.
"You're late."
"I had to go to the hospital, sorry."
Yeah, she freaks out. But he's her partner and is miles away. She has the right to freak out. Or at least that's what she tells herself. "Are you okay? What happened?"
He cuts her off, quickly. "Calm down…I hurt my wrist but it's okay. Everything is where it belongs."
She's slightly angry. He has no right to worry her like that. "You can't drop a bomb like that one and not explain right away what happened!"
Despite the smile she can hear in his voice, he still sounds apologetic. "I didn't mean to freak you out."
"Well, you did."
"It's kind of nice to know you worry about me."
Kensi frowns, suddenly doubting her partnership skills. "And that's something new to you?"
"No, but it always warms me up inside."
She shakes her head with a small smile on her face and gets comfortable on the couch. It was a tiring day, shopping with her mother and cleaning her house. "How was your day?"
"I thought about my father, actually. Our talk yesterday made me remember a lot of things."
She's curious now because they never really talked much about his father before. "Do you have any good memories of him?"
"I have one or two but nothing major. Most ones are bad."
"Do you want to tell me about a good one?"
Deeks sighs and seems to think for a few seconds before speaking. "I remember being five years old and sitting on his lap during a storm. I was scared but he kept telling me not to be. He told me that those thunders were God bowling and nothing more than that. I know it sounds stupid but it made me stop being afraid."
She smiles, even though he can't really see it. "That's cute."
"Yeah, I guess it is. And what about you? How was your day?"
She's kind of proud of her accomplishment and shares it with him. "You'll be happy to know I cleaned my house."
Deeks laughs. "That's your way of saying you put all your crap in a different place."
"It's not crap."
He tries again. "No, you're right. Your stuff, then…it's your way of saying you put all your stuff in a different place."
She can't help but yawn. "I'm tired, though."
"You sound tired."
Kensi laughs. "Thanks a lot, partner."
"Go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."
"Good night, Deeks."
But, before she can hang up, he speaks again. "It's Marty."
"I know…but Deeks sounds less weird."
"You called me Marty yesterday."
"Yeah, I wanted to try it out."
Deeks sounds confused. "And you didn't like it?"
She shrugs, not really sure of what to tell him about that. "It sounded weird…I'm not used to it."
"I liked it. You could get used to it."
Kensi smiles softly and gives him that. "I think I could…outside work only, though."
"That's fine by me. So, let's try this again. Good night, Kensi."
And, this time, she does it right. "Good night, Marty."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 5
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
When his phone rings, he is surprised. "I'm shocked."
Her voice sounds cheery, a clear indication this is not just a normal phone-call. "You said I didn't need to wait for you to call me."
Deeks sits on the hotel bed and smiles. "No, it was a good surprise. Is everything okay, though?"
Again, she sounds very happy, for some reason he has yet to figure out. "Yeah, I'm great. How are you?"
Frowning, he tries to get to the bottom of it. "I'm not nearly as happy as you sound, that's for sure. Have you been drinking?"
"Maybe…but I didn't drink a lot."
He laughs a bit. "Yeah, I get that. And what's going on through that slightly-drunk mind?"
"I was thinking about my first kiss."
Deeks laughs and leans back on the bed, getting comfortable. "Oh, this I have to hear. Tell me all about it, Fern."
"There's not much to tell. I was eleven, he was a friend and I thought it was gross."
Feeling like giving her something back, he replies. "I was twelve and I kissed an older girl."
Kensi laughs and it sounds so damn good that he ends up smiling. "Why am I not surprised with that?"
Deeks shakes his head, even though she can't see him. "I'm going to see that as a compliment. Anyway, she was two years older and I thought she was really nice so I decided to go for it."
"How did that end?"
"She had a boyfriend and I ended up running all the way home. It was a fun afternoon."
Kensi laughs once again and it sounds like music to his ears. Yeah, he misses her. "You poor thing…"
"It was worth it, don't worry. What about you? Did you slap the unlucky creature that kissed you?"
"I didn't need to. He was stupid enough to do it in front of my house. One look from my dad and he never dared to come closer again."
Suddenly realizing something, he changes the subject. "You know, it's very dangerous for you to call me when you're tipsy."
Her answer only proves him she's not drunk enough not to know what she's doing. "Yeah, you can take advantage of that and make me talk about things I don't want to talk."
"Then why did you call me?"
"I trust you. I know you wouldn't take advantage of me in a vulnerable state of mind."
That would have been a nice thing to hear had she been completely sober. "I'm flattered…I think."
"I think I need to sleep this off."
He laughs and agrees with her. "That's something we agree on. I'll call you tomorrow, sunshine."
"Good night, Marty."
They hang up and, deep down, he knows he's going to dream about her once again.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 6
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
As soon as he finishes having dinner, Deeks goes to the desert beach and calls her.
She picks up the phone after only two rings. "I don't have a hangover."
He smiles as soon as he hears her voice, a reaction he can't really avoid. "Did I say you did?"
"No, but that was going to be your first question."
He laughs and starts walking on the warm sand, hearing the waves' crash. "You know me too well."
"Is that a bad thing?"
Smiling, he looks up to the stars. "Actually, I kind of like it…it's nice."
"Did you surf your butt off, today?"
He knows what she's doing. She's changing the subject because that's something they can't talk about. Feelings are forbidden ever since they slipped, before he left to come here. That's something he tries not to think about but the flashbacks from that night keep haunting him. "I stayed in, today. I was feeling lazy. Besides, there were clouds in the sky and I didn't want to deal with rain. I only came out to have dinner."
He can almost hear her laziness through the phone. "I stayed in all day too. My mom had a thing."
Frowning, he questions her. "What kind of thing?"
"The kind of thing you don't want anyone to witness."
"You lost me there…"
"She had a doctor's appointment."
Laughing, he enters the hotel and grabs his room key-card. "Why couldn't you just say that? Sometimes, it feels like I'm talking to a riddle!"
"You know you like it."
"I would love to deny that but I don't lie to you."
Kensi sighs. "That's a good thing…I've had enough lies in my life."
He opens his door and walks inside the room. "Can I ask you something?"
"I thought we were past that point in our partnership."
He's slightly afraid to have this conversation bus his curiosity is getting the better of him. "I'm going to take that as a 'yes' and carry on. Was Jack your first heartbreak?"
"He was but not when he left. He broke my heart way before that."
Deeks is confused, now. "Yeah, you're going to have to explain that one a little better…"
And she does, without hesitating. "I met Jack when I was 8. He was my first big crush and he never looked at me the way I wanted him to. He never cared much about the annoying little girl from down the street. It broke my heart when he left the base with his family without even saying goodbye to me."
"Your story is much better than mine…"
"What happened to you, then?"
"A girl cheated on me."
"How old were you?"
He's glad she can't see the huge grin on his face. "I was 6."
A very confused Kensi replies. "Slow down, there…a girl cheated on you when you were 6? How's that even possible?"
And he delivers the end of that story with a laugh. "She ate some other guy's cookies. You don't do that kind of shit to someone."
Kensi laughs too and it's such a great sound that he wishes he could hear it during the entire day. "Only you could make heartbreak laughable."
"Making you laugh is kind of a hobby for me."
"You're lucky I have a great sense of humor, then."
He takes his shoes off and lies on the bed. "I wouldn't call it great but it's definitely getting better. I'm a great influence."
"I'm not strong enough to argue about that right now."
Smirking, he decides to try his luck with something else he's been curious about. "So, seeing as we're talking about firsts…want to tell me about your first time?"
Kensi yawns and that's so cute he wishes he could be next to her to cuddle her to sleep. "Can we leave that one for tomorrow? I think I need to sleep…"
"Sure, but I won't forget about it if that's what you're counting on."
He can picture the small sweet smile on her face. "I know you won't, don't worry. Good night, Marty."
"Good night, Kensi."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 7
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
This time, he doesn't want to take any chances. He calls her two hours before the usual hour to make sure there's no rush.
And she notices it. "Isn't it a little bit early?"
Deeks smiles and turns the TV off, focusing on her. "I wanted to make sure I caught you before your 'I'm sleepy' stage."
"That was good thinking."
He goes straight to the point, his curiosity showing its form. "So, how old were you?"
Kensi's next words are clearly said in a joking manner and that's why he doesn't really apologize. "You're not even going to ask me about my day? I swear, there's only one thing you guys think about…"
Faking annoyance, he sighs. "Fine, how was your day, honey?"
"It was good. And how was yours?"
"It was spent surfing. Now, on to the subject. How old were you?"
Kensi laughs and answers him. "I was 16 years old. How old were you?"
He shakes his head, knowing she's trying to know as much as she can too. "We'll get to me…now, we're on yours. Who was the guy?"
"He was a guy I was dating. I thought it was love."
"Did you ever regret it?"
"No, I don't. I don't regret those things."
And then it's time for the big question. He has to struggle not to smirk as he speaks, knowing she'll be able to tell if he is smirking. "How was it?"
"It was awful. I didn't know what I was doing and I thought he did. But he was awful. It was really bad. It hurt."
He laughs, despite the awfulness of the situation. "Now, that sounds bad."
Kensi's reply is cheery, though, and makes him laugh. "Yeah, but at least we had ice cream afterwards."
"At least the guy knew all about your sweet-tooth."
She laughs too before asking him. "And how was yours?"
He tells her everything. There's nothing he wants to hide from Kensi, weather she knows it or not. "I was 18 and she was 19. She has too much experience and I had none. It was embarrassing and something I don't like to remember. I wasn't even in love. She was just a willing girl."
"We're two broken souls, that's the truth."
Deeks sighs as he looks at the clock. "I'm the one who has to go, now. I need to pack my things. I have an early flight tomorrow."
He can picture her frown in confusion. "I thought you were only coming in three days."
"I'm flying tomorrow. I want to see my mom before we start working again."
"You're a good son."
He can't help but blurt out his next words. It was an opportunity too good to miss. "I shot her husband. It's the least I can do."
Kensi laughs but still bosses him around, even though she's miles away. "Go pack!"
He laughs but does as she says. "I'm going. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Have a nice flight, Marty. Good night."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 8
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Kensi picks up the phone as soon as she hears it ring, already knowing who's calling at this hour. "How was your flight?"
Deeks laughs. "I wouldn't know. I slept all the way here."
"That probably means it was a calm flight, then."
Without hesitation, he blurts out his next words, the words she's been so afraid to hear. "We need to talk about the medium-sized elephant in the room."
"Deeks…"
He cuts her off, already knowing she's going to try to change the subject and not even thinking about allowing her to do so. "No, Kensi. That's not going to work. We need to have this conversation and you know it."
She sighs and sits on the couch, not feeling like talking to him right now. "What do you want to talk about?"
He answers quickly. "You kissed me."
Immediately, she turns defensive. "You kissed me back, if I remember correctly."
Deeks is starting to lose his cool because it's always the same thing with her. Everything he says about the subject, she sees as an accusation. "It wasn't an accusation. It was just a statement. You started it."
Kensi thinks about it for a few seconds. Yes, she kissed him first. There's no way she can deny that. Two nights before he left for Hawaii, he went to her place for beer and pizza and she kissed him right before he left. "Yeah, I started it."
Deeks is speaking softly, almost as if afraid to scare her off. "Why did you kiss me?"
She mumbles her next words, almost hoping he won't hear them. "I did a hell of a lot more than just kiss you."
He does, though. "Trust me, I know. But I figured we can talk about the kiss first."
"I don't know why I kissed you."
"You don't know or you don't want to tell me?"
"That was two days before you left."
Again, he's starting to lose his cool and he knows she can tell by his voice but she's the one avoiding his questions. "That's not what I asked you, Kensi!"
"Listen, I kissed you because you wouldn't take the first step."
He asks the question whose answer he's afraid of. "Do you regret it?"
"You're the one who always said there was no 'thing'…"
Deeks is about to blow up. He hates it when she doesn't answer his questions. "Again, that's not what I asked you."
She tries a different approach because he's clearly not letting this one go and she doesn't want him to yell at her through the phone. For some reason, that really bothers her. "I'm done talking about this."
He doesn't even pretend to be sweet about this. His answer is cold and makes her shiver. "I'm going to take that as a 'yes'."
She replies much in the same way. "Do whatever you want. I have to go, now. Good night, Deeks."
"Good night, Kensi."
She'll never tell him she cried herself to sleep that night.
He'll never tell her he threw his phone against the wall and had to buy a new one the next morning.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Day 9
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Kensi's not ashamed to admit she's been staring at her clock for close to one hour now. And he has yet to call. Their talk last night wasn't exactly a nice one and a part of her is scared. She can't lose Deeks. She doesn't even want to think about him being angry with her. That's just not something she can deal with.
That's why she takes matters into her own hands and calls him. And, as soon as he picks up, she doesn't even let him talk. "You didn't call."
His tone is so carefree that she feels like a bitch. "I thought you didn't want to talk."
She sits on the couch and a single tear runs down her cheek. She's not usual this emotional but this is different. This is Deeks. That changes everything. "I never said I didn't want to talk."
His answer is cold now, and it only makes her flinch. "It sure as hell seemed like it yesterday."
Her voice softens and a part of her wants him to realize how much this is hurting her. "I'm sorry."
He seems to sense what's going on and sighs, his tone turning softer. "Are you?"
Something tells her the conversation just changed, though. "Are we still talking about the way I talked to you yesterday?"
He confirms her suspicion. "No, we're not. Do you regret what happened 2 days before I left?"
She doesn't hesitate, not wanting him to turn cold once again. She can't handle that. "No, I don't."
That's when he asks what he really wants to know. "Do you regret what happened the night before I left?"
The night before he left…that was one hell of a night. He came to her house, wanted to talk about the kiss. She didn't want to. And she has no idea how they ended up in her bed but knows she can't erase his scent from her pillows, can't erase her touch from her skin or the feeling of his lips on hers.
And that's why there's no hesitation in her voice, once again. "No, I don't."
His voice is no louder than a whisper but she hears him loud and clear. "That was the best night of my life, Kensi."
"Where do we go from here?"
He shows her with his confidence that he's been thinking about this during the past few days. "The only thing I know at this point is that I can't go back. I can't be just your partner anymore. I want to be with you, princess."
Kensi smiles not being able to help it. "That sounded incredibly cheesy."
"Yeah, I'm aware of that. Where do you want to go from here?"
Kensi gets up and something outside her window catches her eye, making her frown. "Are you still with your mother?"
Deeks thinks she's avoiding his question once again and sighs. "That's not an answer."
This time, however, her voice is light and he can picture the big smile on her face. "Deeks, are you parked outside my house?"
He laughs. "I don't know. Am I?"
She looks at his car, parked across the street, but it's dark and she can't really see him. "Is that why you didn't call earlier?"
"It's a four hours' drive from my mother's."
"Are you coming in?"
He doesn't make it easy for her, though. "Not until I have my answer, I'm not."
Kensi smiles softly and tries. "I miss you."
That's not enough, though. "That's not what I want to hear…"
She laughs. "I want you to come in."
It's their usual back and forth and there's something comforting in the whole thing. It's so familiar that it feels good. "That's not it, either."
And, even though it's still not an answer to his question, she hopes this one is enough for now. "I want to kiss you."
It's enough. He hangs up the phone and gets out of the car.
Kensi opens the door and, in less than 10 seconds, he's in front of her and his lips are on hers.
They don't know where they'll go from here but, for now, they have this and it's enough. Tomorrow they can talk. Tonight, this is all they really need and want.
The End