Ok all, so this fanfiction starts when Nodacchi brings Mikan and the others back from learning about her parents in the past. There are going to be possible spoilers up to chapter 110. I will be writing names in Japanese order, which is surname first, given name last. Occasionally I will use Japanese words, because I like to, and there will be translations for these at the end of the chapter. Thanks for reading.

IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! Author's Note 3/23/2010:

Okay, so, first off, I'm sorry I've been away so long everyone. My comp broke, my husband joined the military, and we moved overseas since I wrote last so I haven't had much of an opportunity to write. As is quite obvious to anyone following the regular Gakuen Alice updates, several more chapters have come out since I started this that revealed some very important information. Therefore I have decided to tweak the first chapter or so of this story. Don't worry all; the essence of the story is going to remain the same. I'm just going to change a few things.

First off, to give you an idea of how I'm going to do this. This story will now have a spoiler warning up to chapter 127. I'm going to keep everything from the flashback arc the same, except that Mikan does not make a decision to go with Yuka (chap 121-122). Instead, Nodacchi tells them it's time to go back without her having made the decision. I'm still keeping the part where she is given everyone's stones. Essentially, they decide since they don't know what is going to happen when they get back, to give them to her as encouragement and to be prepared. Hope this makes sense. So, with all that, this story will be starting at the end of chapter 123 (excluding the part showing the empty principal's room). Sorry for the wordy note. Just wanted everything to be clear. If you are one of my old readers, be sure to reread this first chapter, if nothing else, as it will be the most changed. Thank you for your understanding and continued reading.

Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were, Gakuen Alice and all the lovely and not so lovely people connected to it are not mine. Though, I have definite plans in motion for stealing Natsume for myself when he's all grown up. Not sure my husband would appreciate that though.

In a blur of light, Nodacchi returned with the students to the High School Principal's office. Mikan slipped the Alice stones into her pocket as Tsubasa appeared seconds later with Nobara and Tonouichi in tow. She quickly noticed the conspicuous lack of two people. Neither Narumi-sensei nor her mother were there. Before she had time to dwell on this, there were voices all around her, talking, asking questions. She couldn't focus. Everything was too much for her to grasp. There was so much going through her mind that she started to feel dizzy.

"Oi!" Natsume's voice beside her drew her attention and that of everyone else in the room. "She's overwhelmed with all this. Can't you guys just give her some time to sort out her thoughts?"

The teachers were quiet for a moment before the High School Principal's voice responded with calm authority. "He's right. We'll give her some time to gather her thoughts. This is a very difficult decision of course." Turning to Mikan, his gaze softened a bit. "I'll give you until the morning, but by then you really must have your answer. Time is of the essence, I'm afraid."

Mikan just nodded her head slowly, barely comprehending what he was saying. She looked up when she felt people grab each of her hands. Watching her in his guarded, observant way, Natsume held her left hand while Hotaru offered a small, encouraging smile as she held her right. Just behind Natsume, Ruka watched her with concern clearly etched on his face.

"It's already fairly late," Sakurano-senpai observed quietly. Mikan followed his gaze and was surprised to see that it was dark outside the window already. The interference to Nodacchi's bracelet had made them return quite a bit later then they had left. "Shall I show them where to sleep for tonight?" Sakurano inquired of Principal Yukihara. The principal nodded, and Sakurano gently laid his hand on Mikan's back. "This way…"

Mikan and the other's followed Sakurano-senpai down the hall in silence. After showing them the room they would be sharing and helping them lay out futons to sleep on, he left, telling them he would be just outside the door keeping watching should they need anything. The group stood quietly in the center of the room, before Ruka finally broke the silence.

"You must be really tired, Mikan. Don't worry about figuring anything out tonight. You can decide what you want to do in the morning. For now you should just focus on getting some sleep." He smiled softly at her. Mikan nodded her head absently and made her way to her futon, laid out beside Hotaru's.

"Oyasumi, Mikan," Ruka called quietly as he lay down on his own futon. Hotaru lay beside Mikan, still holding her hand, offering quiet comfort in the dark room. With a last glance at Mikan, Natsume walked over to his futon and lay down as well. He stared up at the ceiling, his hands behind his head, as wave after wave of different emotions rolled through his heart. He knew he probably wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. He doubted that Mikan would either.

Mikan's mind raced as she lay there in the dark. She thought of what Narumi had said just earlier that day, though it seemed ages ago. Leave with me to the outside. Then the high school principal, her uncle, had recommended she leave with her mother. Her mother. Azumi Yuka really wasn't the villain Mikan had believed her to be. She had been through so many hardships and seeing and understanding the past had made Mikan come to love her mother dearly. But regardless, could she leave this place with her? Was that the best course for everyone involved? There was so much more to this decision than she had originally thought; so many twisted secrets and years of struggle were hidden behind the school's innocent façade. It was an overwhelming decision to have riding on her. How many people's lives would be affected by her choice?

Hotaru would be leaving soon anyway, but what about Ruka, Koko, Permy, Iinchou, and the others? What about Natsume? Could she really leave him? They said it would be safest for everyone involved if she left. It was too dangerous for her to be where the Elementary School Principal could get to her, but what would happen to him if she left. She knew his Alice was slowly killing him. It was easy to see he had the fourth type, no matter how he tried to hide it. She couldn't believe she had been blind to it for so long, just like her mother with Kaoru. She was an idiot. He was always in so much pain. If she left, wouldn't he just keep using his Alice to fight against the school until it killed him? He promised her he wouldn't go anywhere, wouldn't die, but how could he really promise that? The image of Kaname in the hospital flashed in her mind, and then instead of Kaname's face, it was Natsume's. It made her sick with dread to think of it.

The very thought of him dying sent a sharp pang through Mikan's heart. She couldn't imagine never seeing him again. As she thought about him, memories over the past few weeks, especially today, flooded into her mind. She remembered the whole mess with Luna. She had been hurt, of course, when Natsume seemed to choose Luna over her. But there had been more to it than that. Something else about it had bothered her too. She had felt jealous, seeing him so close to another girl. But why? She hadn't understood at the time. Then, during the borrowing race, he practically confessed to the entire school that his was in love with her, albeit in disguise. Then the hug, when she had felt so betrayed by him. That hug had made her see things more clearly, had made her see that he was suffering too, that he hadn't truly betrayed her, but it had also confused her. Why had her heart raced so much when he held her?

Then today, he had saved her once again. He had stood against the Elementary School Principal, Persona, and the entire dangerous abilities class, and announced that he loved her and would protect her no matter what. Then, after they had escaped, after Narumi had asked her to leave with him, Natsume had opened up to her once more. He told her he didn't want to let her go. He wished that he could be a grown-up, so that he could save her and take her away himself. Over the last few weeks, Natsume had opened up more and more of his heart and feelings to her. She now knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he loved her. Reaching her hand up to the necklace she wore, she clasped the stone she now knew was his. Again she remembered being told of the romantic exchanging of stones. It was a promise, a proposal…further proof that he loved her.

And she now knew where her heart stood as well. As she had turned to him, asking the question she already knew the answer, asking if he was dying, she had realized how much she relied on him, how much she needed him, how much she loved him. She felt a little pang in her heart as she remembered Ruka. He had realized it then too, as he watched Natsume holding her. It had been plain as day on his face that he knew to whom her heart belonged. But he had let her go with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. He was so kind. Mikan's eyes stung with tears at the idea that she had broken her dear friend's heart.

Natsume was confusing and often cold. He did things in ways that were hard to understand, like Hotaru. He was deeply loyal and selfless and saw things that no one else did. And to her, he was a constant warmth. A fire, like his Alice, that protected her, surrounded her. He could be so gentle, so kind. Her mind raced through memories: Natusme about to sacrifice himself to save her and Permy after they had been kidnapped by Reo, and his expression when she had been thrown against the wall when trying to help him escape; the first time he said her name, at the party at the end of the Cultural Festival; the Christmas Party, when he kissed her in the tree because she had said that the tooth kiss wasn't a real kiss; the way he had clung to her that New Year's night when she had slept in his room; the night she learned Tsubasa had disappeared, and Natsume appeared in her window because he knew she would be crying. So many memories. As she remembered them, she was surprised that she could have been blind to her heart for so long. It now felt so obvious that she had been falling in love with him for quite some time. She was in love with Natsume. Deeply in love with him. So in love with him she was sure it would be like physical pain to be separated from him. From their mothers' friendship, till now, it felt like they had been destined for each other.

Mikan sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. Slowly, she sat up, sliding her hand out of the sleeping Hotaru's. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed the window on the far side of the room actually opened up into a balcony. Tiptoeing across the room, she slide the door open and stepped out into the refreshingly cool summer night air.

"Yo," a voice said softly to her left, making her nearly jump out of her skin as she realized she wasn't alone. Spinning around, her eyes met Natsume's as he stood against the wall watching quietly with his arms crossed. His fiery eyes looked so intensely gentle and sad, so vulnerable, that it made her heart ache in her chest.

"Baka, don't scare me like that," she tried to scold him, but looking into those eyes, it didn't come out with much power. Natsume had felt she'd be joining him on the balcony sooner or later. What is going through your mind, he wondered as he watched her. What will you decide? Mikan turned to look up at the sky, and the pair of them stood there in silence for a good while.

"Are you going to leave with her? Your mother?" Natsume asked quietly, ducking his head to hide his eyes with his bangs. He was afraid of what her decision would be, afraid of losing her, even if just for a time, but he had to know. Mikan turned to look at him, thinking about how to answer his question. Finally, she settled for the truth.

"I don't know." When Natsume didn't respond, she continued. "I don't want to leave. I hardly even know her, though I love her already. She has been through so much for everyone, fighting alone for so long. I want to help her, support her. I don't want her to be alone anymore. But I don't want to leave all of my friends, this school. I know everyone says I shouldn't be thinking about everybody else right now, but I'm so worried. What will happen to everybody if I leave? Besides, I don't like the idea of running when everybody else stays behind to fight. But if I really am so valuable to the principal, then maybe I have to leave. Maybe if I stay, I will just be putting everyone in more danger."

Mikan let her thoughts pour out of her. "But I really can't bear the thought of leaving everyone. Especially you." Natsume gently grabbed her had for support and comfort as she talked, but said nothing. "And even if I do leave, I know you'll keep fighting, and you'll keep using your Alice, and you'll get sicker and sicker like Kaname-senpai." Her eyes welled up, and she started crying. "And then you might die, even though you say you won't, and I wouldn't be around to say goodbye. But even if I stayed that might happen, because you would constantly be trying to protect me. But I don't want you to die because I love you, and I just realized it, and I wouldn't even have the chance to tell you because you'd be dead."

Natsume's sharp intake of breath brought Mikan back to reality, and she slapped her free hand over her mouth in shock as she realized what she'd just said. Natsume stared at her, wide-eyed, his heart racing. He held felt it was true, when he had held her as she cried after realizing his Alice was stealing his life away. But suspecting that it was true and hearing it straight from her mouth were so very different. Before Natsume could find his voice, Mikan was rambling again, blushing furiously.

"Ah! Sorry! I didn't mean to say it like that. I hadn't meant to confess that way. Baka baka." He watched in awed fascination as she lightly smacked herself in the head, before swiping at her eyes to get rid of the tears that had been there. His heart climbed into his throat as she stepped closer to him, her cheeks bright red. Hiding her eyes behind her bangs, she restarted. "Natsume, I didn't realize it until just a little while ago, but I think it's been true for a really long time. Natsume, I love you."

Natsume stood frozen, staring at her in wonder. His heart felt like it was doing gymnastics routines in his chest. After a few moments, he finally found his voice, albeit weakly. "Honto? Honto ni?" His voice was barely more than a whisper. Mikan kept her head down in embarrassment, but nodded. Reaching out gently, as though if he touched her, she could break, he placed his hands on the sides of her face and turned it up so his eyes met hers. She gasped when she realized how close his face was. His crimson eyes burned with the same intense, gentle fire as before, but now there was joy shining in them also. It took her breath away. She had never seen him so happy. In fact, smiles were so rare on his face it was always a treasure to see them. Right now, his faced almost seemed to glow. His eyes closed as he pulled her closer to him and, for the second time, pressed his lips to hers.

This kiss was nothing like the first one. After initially widening her eyes in shock, Mikan closed them and focused on trying to kiss him back. They were both inexperienced, but despite the awkward newness of it, the kiss was so very sweet. Natsume gently slide one of his hands into her hair, which was out of its pigtails for the night. The other he wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She clung to the front of his shirt with her hands as they slide quietly down the wall till she was sitting in his lap.

As they kissed, Natsume tried to remind himself why this was a bad thing. Why he had not wanted her to fall in love with him. His arguments about not wanting to drag her into his darkness were null and void, seeing as the Elementary School Principal seemed determined to do this regardless of whether Natsume was involved. Ruka, in all his kindheartedness, had already given them his blessing, had given her up with tears and a smile. Gomen, Ruka. As Natsume kissed her, he knew nothing could convince him to let her go now that he had her. He needed her so desperately. He knew Ruka had seen this too. After a few moments longer, Natsume pulled away. Blinking up at him in a daze, Mikan gave him a small smile before bursting into tears.

"Mikan? Mikan, what's wrong?" Natsume's mind raced as he tried to figure out what had sparked this burst of hysterics. Had he hurt her somehow? Upset her? He didn't have to wait long for the answer.

"What do I do, Natsume? What do I do? I don't want to leave. But if I stay, you'll keep trying to protect me, and you'll keep getting hurt. I don't want you to die! Please, please don't die, Natsume." Ah, now he remembered his other reason for keeping her away. Because, no matter what, he would protect her. And he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone, especially her, if his Alice eventually killed him. But she had sensed this awhile ago. And when she had beseeched him not to leave, he had promised himself he would stay alive. He would fight. He wouldn't let his Alice beat him. Again he whispered assurance in her ear.

"Shhh…don't cry. I already told you, silly girl, I won't die. Like I could leave you alone. No matter what, I'll stay alive." His heart ached as he held her in his arms. She sobbed and sobbed, despite his reassurances. After a while, her cries turned to hiccups, then her hiccups calmed into soft snores as she fell asleep in his arms. His rested his head against the top of hers, holding her closed to him, as he slowly drifted to sleep too.

Oyasumi – Goodnight

Honto? – Really?

Honto ni? – Is it really true?

Gomen – Sorry

Thank you for reading. Please R&R. I'll try to post the next chapter soon.