Taciturnity
Almost two weeks passed since the infamous Flame Alchemist incinerated the Homonculus Lust down the 5th Laboratory, and in true Colonel Mustang fashion, he is back facing the humongous piles of paperwork scattered ominously on his desk.
"Colonel, your paperwork is falling down the table." The usual snap of Lieutenant Hawkeye broke his interest to watch the clouds from his window float idly by.
"I know, I know. I'm signing, I'm signing." Roy Mustang sighed heavily.
It was a good thing that Fuery, Breda, Falman and Armstrong weren't here today to mock him. They all wanted to see Jean Havoc in the hospital and he gave them permission to all go. He knew full well that Havoc needs it.
He looked up and glanced at the Lieutenant. She's been particularly quiet after the incident, and both of them have not talked about it since. There's a melancholic air going on around her now, and it's bothering him to see her looking glum most of the time. The episode with Lust was always the big elephant in the room, and neither of them, not even his rowdy henchmen dare open it up in fear of being shot by the Lieutenant.
"Is something the matter Taisa?" Hawkeye asked.
Roy Mustang wanted to joke about her still stoic face, but thought better of it.
"Nothing. I am so bored. Let's call it a day and I'll finish them all tomorrow. I promise!" he added quickly as the Lieutenant's eyebrows raised slightly.
"I'm afraid you can't, Taisa. These papers are due tomorrow morning. That is with the extension given to you as a courtesy 4 days ago, Sir." She said matter-of-factly.
"Must be very dull for you to watch your superior procrastinate all day and always finding himself in dire need of what was their term "babysitter"?" Mustang said almost lazily.
"Not as dull seeing the said superior cram and make excuses once all the papers are due, Sir." Hawkeye said, chiding in.
"Fine. I'll do it. Happy?" yielded Mustang, grinning boyishly at him. Hawkeye looked like she was embarassed and turned her attention back to the papers she's organizing. It instantly wiped his charming grin and was replaced by a silent indignation.
There's that face again.
They sat in silence, hearing only the rhythmic sound of the Colonel's pen as he signed the pages, and the rustle of papers being thrown messily aside. The sun is already setting down, and Mustang stretched his arms and yawned pointedly. Mustang looked around and saw that Lieutenant Hawkeye is busy organizing the documents he's already finished with, and displaying a guise of signing another document, he asked softly.
"So, how are you feeling Lieutenant?"
Hawkeye almost knocked over the neat stack beside her as she stopped abruptly. She continued what she was doing and steadied her voice to simply reply.
"I don't understand, Taisa" she responded almost tonelessly.
She stood up and gathered the already sorted files and proceeded to arrange them carefully in the cabinet, her back to the Colonel, who also stood up, walking away from his desk.
"I think you know what I meant by that, Chui."
Riza Hawkeye closed the cabinet doors quietly. She has been thinking about it the whole time. What her answers are going to be once Roy Mustang asked her these questions, but her mind has gone completely blank. There was an uncomfortable beating on her chest. She locked the cabinets shut and replied.
"I'm perfectly fine, thank you, Taisa." She answered quietly, her back still to him.
"Good to know." Mustang put his hands in his pockets and walked slowly towards her and halted imploringly behind the Lieutenant.
"So why did you cry me for me, huh Chui?"
Hawkeye's eyes widened in shock and her fingers fumbled on the latch. Having no choice, she gradually faced Roy Mustang and his proximity is making her uncharacteristically fragile.
"I… Well…. It was an initial reaction since I thought she has already killed both you and Second Lieutenant Havoc…" she said almost stuttering.
"Were those tears because of the fact that maybe, I really died or because of a loss so painful not merely a dead body can justify?" His deep, calm voice is reverberating through the room.
"I don't know how to respond to that. My apologies, sir." She lowered her gaze woefully.
"Would you stop doing that?" Mustang said exasperated. "If everything is so well with you why do you have to look so sad and miserable all the time? Don't think I haven't noticed that you're avoiding talking to me, Chui."
"Taisa, gomen, but like what I said I –"
"Oh what crap, you wanted me!" Mustang exclaimed, all dignity forgotten.
"Tell me something Chui, do you harbor feelings so strong you wanted to just burst and let it all go?" but before he can give her time to answer, Roy Mustang said,
"Because I do." His eyes locked passionately into hers.
Lieutenant Hawkeye felt an overwhelming sense of emotion coursing through her veins. She could not hide it anymore, looking at the eyes of the man she swore to protect, a man she almost lost, a man she thought she would never get the chance to lay eyes on alive again. Tears build up quickly on the sides of her eyes, and she gazed at Roy Mustang's intense stare and voiding herself of any pretense, she broke down.
"I thought you died! And I thought I died as well! There was no point – just no point of living anymore because I cannot live through that kind of pain… I can't... I just can't" Riza Hawkeye sobbed through every word.
Tears were running down her cheeks. She cried all the pent-up feelings, all the unspoken words between them and wept piercingly through the greatly changed declarations between them, breaking down barriers of concealed and unknown facets of their now explicit relationship.
She wept still, but on one swift motion she found herself inside the Colonel's warm, powerful arms.
Roy Mustang closed his eyes. He reached for Riza Hawkeye tenderly and locked her inside his arms, as if to never let go. He hugged her close; he held her warranting that it meant the same way she was crying for him. Riza Hawkeye submitted herself to this welcome warmth, holding on to him like her life depended on it. She felt his hand stroke her hair gently, and it slid down her chin to lift her tear-streaked face to look at the Colonel's burning gaze.
"Chui, did you know why I refused to die that day?" he asked, his thumb moving up her cheeks to wipe her tears as they gently backed up the cabinet doors.
"Why?" as he feel him leisurely caressing her cheeks.
Roy Mustang smiled ardently, sweeping the Lieutenant's hair off her forehead to rest his own, their noses touching lightly.
"Wouldn't want to miss this for the world, did I?"
Slowly, Mustang tipped Hawkeye's chin closer to his and with a last tender look at his Lieutenant, he closed the gap between their mouths, deepening quickly, exquisitely. Riza Hawkeye ran her hands through his Colonel's hair as he went - and they both knew that this first great kiss already kindled their strongly rising fire.
THE END.