Alas, you poor souls get to watch me take my chance at a humor story. Though I bet you might be laughing at the end of it. But not the "Haha that was really funny and clever" funny… more like the "Laugh at the kid who goes to school in a cape" funny. And that's… not good.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugioh, Kazuki Takahashi does, the lucky bastard.
This was rated for language if you couldn't already tell. And video game violence, but who doesn't love that? But it is violence none the less.
Keep in mind that the only one speaking in this story is Atemu and the video games.
And I know it's a bit weird to have a chapter story and post a one shot in the middle but... who cares.
Video Game Violence
"You know these things will rot your brain, right?"
Joey, Tristan, Yuugi, and Duke merely grunted in reply. They were playing the latest multiple player video game and Atemu was watching with a football helmet (don't ask me how he got it on… I don't know!) and a bottle of shampoo to shield his eyes from the blinking lights that would cause any other human being on the planet to go into comatose.
"Watch out! That snake is about to eat that orange! Oh! It blew up never mind."
Joey found Yuugi's character and slashed his head off, which promptly started spurting out blood.
"It's like a sprinkler!"
Duke found an army of zombies and started attacking everything.
"How is it that one person can take out an entire army of the living dead?"
-Oh… noble warrior… won't you come to me and assist me?- Hot, sexy, half naked blonde woman on video game says.
"I wonder what she needs help with."
-Oh look! A steak! Now I can regain health!- A warrior says eating the food he found on the ground .
"What the hell…? Regain health? Oh, now he's going to die because Mad Cow disease in slowly eating at his insides!"
-Okay boys and girls, now we're going to make Elmo climb the ladder, and you do that by pushing up on the joystick!-
"What the hell? I thought that warrior and that sexy woman were going to do it and now you brought ELMO in to this?"
-Oh no! You found Big Bird! CUT HIS DAMN HEAD OFF!-
"Now, what did Big Bird ever do to you? Oh know… did he break up with you, Elmo? Did that skank run off with Grover? Oh look! It's another sprinkler!"
-Oh noble warrior… you found my sister. But I think I lost my skirt in the woods. Would you like to come with me and my sister in the forest and find it?- Hot, sexy, half naked brunette woman on video game says.
"Lucky bastard. Wait… what the hell? That doesn't make ANY sense! If she lost her skirt why didn't she go get another one?"
-Now, Elmo… run forward and give the baby a flower!-
"Wait… where did Elmo come from? I thought… oh wait… OH NOW THAT'S JUST WRONG! Run baby! Run!
-Good Elmo, you gave the baby a flower! Now… EAT THE DAMN HUMAN WORM BABY!"
"Wow… I think I'm emotionally scarred!"
-Oh… noble warrior you found my sisters now what do you intend to do with us all?- Hot, sexy, half naked redhead woman on video game says.
"Oh, I wonder."
-Now Elmo, you've found a machine gun!-
"What the hell! A machine gun? Isn't this a game for a CHILDREN'S SHOW?"
"Okay Elmo here is your new objective: Find Grover."
"I knew it!"
-Oh noble warrior, what's that you're doing with my sisters?- Hot, sexy, half naked black haired woman on video game says.
"Oh gee, I have no idea. What else could you be doing in that position? Checking the time from the angle of the sun?"
-May I join you, Noble Warrior?-
"Now what the hell? I'm starting to think that maybe we should stop calling him 'Noble Warrior"… this is getting ridiculous. He's not even using protection!"
-Oh look Elmo! You've found Grover! What do you want to do now?-
"Oh hell…"
-SHOOT THE BASTARD!-
"Oh wow! I didn't know someone could have THAT many holes in them and still have enough energy to give the bird! I've learned something."
-Oh hell yeah, Elmo I went out with Big Bird!- Grover shouts before getting shot again.
"Hmm… not something I would openly admit."
-Oh noble Warrior! Where are you going?- Hot, sexy, half naked blonde woman on video game says.
-I have to go get home to my wife- Noble Warrior says.
"Wow… there are so many things wrong with that one statement alone."
-Now Elmo, that Cookie Monster has been talking about you behind your back! What are you going to do about it?-
"I'm starting to think that this isn't a child's game."
-Noble Husband where have you been tonight?- Hot, sexy, half naked wife on video game says.
"Why are all the women in this game questionably dressed?"
-Oh look! You've found a military jet plane, Elmo! It's got missiles on it, too!-
"What the hell… since when do you find jet planes behind bushes?"
-Oh look, Elmo you've found Cookie Monster! BLOW HIM UP!-
"How does a missile hit something and blow it to bits but the cookie it was holding is still in one piece? That's cool! I want to try that!"
-Elmo you've destroyed all you enemies! You win the game!-
"That was the most crack-tastic game ever!"
-Noble Warrior you've died from Mad Cow disease. You lose.-
"Serves him right! He ate that bad meat…? Now what's happening?"
Elmo finds the camera and jumps out of the TV.
"Oh crap."
-Elmo wants to keep on playing!- Elmo says.
"I knew these games weren't good for you!"
Elmo pulls a chainsaw out from behind the couch.
-Who will play with Elmo!-
Joey, Yuugi, Atemu, Duke, and Tristan run from Elmo who promptly starts chasing them around with the chainsaw screaming, "Play with Elmo! Play with Elmo!"
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The end. Yes I know it was a bit short but a sugar high can only last so long. Please review, especially if I've emotionally scarred you like I've done myself. Even if you don't like it, review and tell me how stupid it was. Cheers!