Under One Roof
By: Crystal Avatar
Chapter One – Visions of Victory
Disclaimer: Naruto Universe belongs to Kishimoto Masahi.
A/N: This story has the sole purpose of allowing me to let my mind relax as I write my other story. Wow… writing sure is tough. Please RnR and tell me if I'm actually managing to go anywhere this purely spontaneous story of mine.
Our story begins with our three heroes having a life-changing conversation with their team's leader…
"And that's why I'm going to have to ask the three of you to move in together," Kakashi announced light-heartedly, pointing upwards as he always did when he talked.
"That has to be THE stupidest thing I have ever heard," Sasuke muttered.
"Wait, so let me get this straight: in order for the three of us to become a stronger, closer team… in order for our teamwork to become better, you say we…" Her fellow ninja's shouting suddenly cut off Sakura.
"We have to live TOGETHER?" Naruto yelled, inadvertently causing a ringing in everyone's ears.
"… under one roof?" Sakura asked again, her voice dropped sadly.
"Yes! And if the three of you manage to survive for one whole month, you will all be recommended for promotion to Chuunin level!" Kakashi called out more passionately.
Suddenly the three ninja began having conversations with their inner selves.
"As a Chuunin I will have more power… then I can kill that man…" Sasuke grinned evilly to himself as his murderous intent showed in his eyes.
In Sasuke's mind, the world was black and only two people stood, facing each other. The smaller one was himself and the taller, his older brother, Uchiha Itachi. His brother was saying the same words he had told him in his past.
"If you want to defeat me, then hate me and survive in an unimaginable way…""Damn it, Itachi, be more specific! What the hell is that supposed to mean: survive in an unimaginable way? God, can you be anymore vague? I so want to kill you!"
"Live with Sasukeand become a Chuunin? Oh my god!" Sakura thought to herself, a large smile painting over her entire face.
In Sakura's mind, there was the image of a quaint little kitchen in a cozy looking house. She stood in front of the oven, wearing an apron and some baking gloves, and pulled out a tray of freshly cooked cookies. She sniffed them and smiled.
"Sasuke-kun! The cookies are ready!" She called to her lover as he arrived.
"Wow, Sakura-chan! I've been dying for your cookies ever since I first saw you. You're so pretty and smart and funny and talented! I just hate the other girls! Yay! Yippee!" Sasuke replied, picking up the housewife-figure and spinning her around in their little kitchen.
"Woof-woof!" A dog barked.
"Aw, Naruto-chan wants some cookies too, does he?" Sasuke patted the dog, whose face seemed to have more than just a coincidental resemblance to the real Naruto's face.
Naruto's mind was seeing different things from the other two as well.
In his vision, he saw crowds of people glaring at him with huge, shiny eyes. Tears streamed down all of them as they cheered to their young hero standing on the stage.
"Go, Naruto! Hokage! Hokage!" The crowd cheered.
"How did you manage to become a Hokage at such a young age?" A female reporter with big, round glasses quizzed him in the middle of the large stage.
"Well it all started when I became a Chuunin and-""Would you like some ramen?" The reporter suddenly asked.
"Wha- what the? RAMEN? Where did that question suddenly come from!"The reporter handed him a bowl and said, "Here, eat up! Yummy, yummy Ramen!"
Suddenly the entire crowd pulled out their own little bowls of Ramen. Men, women and children all pulled out bowls of ramen, seemingly out of thin air, and began raising them above their heads so that they could offer it to their master, Naruto.
The whole crowd cheered with the reporter, "Yummy, yummy ramen! Yummy, yummy ramen! Yummy, yummy…"
Back in the real world, however, Hatake Kakashi was still trying to figure how all three of his students had managed to begin drooling at the same time. It was all just so weird.
Sasuke was drooling. Sakura was dribbling too.
Naruto, however, was practically drowning in saliva as he chanted, trapped I another world, "Yummy, yummy ramen! Yummy, yummy ramen!"
"Wow… I guess they must like the idea?" Kakashi pondered, "Who would've thought, huh? What a strange group of kids these guys ca be sometimes…"
He watched and waited for them to stop drooling and pay attention to what he had to say next. The next part was really important, you see.
Somewhere in Konoha two farmers were talking.
"So, Bob, did you get a lot of milk out of 'em today?"
"Yeah, I sure did, Travis! Milked 'em real good!"
"That's good, Bob. Yep, the sun's coming down real quick! Better let the cows come home now!"
"Right on, Travis! Well, you don't be a stranger now, you hear? Yee-haw!"
"Okay, I have a feeling if I don't say or do something real quick, these kids will never wake up," Kakashi admitted to himself, his legs becoming tired from standing so long.
"The three of you! Wake up now!"
"You killed our family, brother! WHY!"
Sasuke began running through his home as he had hundreds of times before. On the seventy-eight time he had done it in this vision, though, he saw something peculiar when he ran into the family kitchen. A small figure was hunched over their dining table with his back to him, eating something…
Suddenly he turned around. Sasuke couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"Hey, Sasuke! I got craploads of ramen! Want some?""Naruto! I'll kill you too!"
"Sasuke? Why do you look so pissed? Oh-oh. I think I'll be leaving then," Naruto whispered, getting up to leave the kitchen in Sasuke's vision. He ran through the imaginary door, Sasuke still chasing, and they both ended up in…
"What the?" Sakura cried.
Naruto and Sasuke stopped to look at their new surroundings. Somehow they had both ended up in Sakura's vision, all prissy and flowery and such.
"Impostor!" Sasuke cried, drawing a kunai from his pouch and shoulder charging at the boy in Sakura's arms, the Sasuke with a permanent smile seeming sewn onto his face.
"No, Sasuke… I mean!" Sakura cried as her dream-Sasuke was taken from her.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Naruto yelled to everyone, his finger anxiously pointing at a dog that had the exact same face as he did.
"Naruto… I…" Sakura tried to explain but Naruto wasn't finished.
"That dog he… he's… HE'S EATING RAMEN! WHAT KIND OF IDIOT FEEDS A DOG PERFECTLY GOOD RAMEN!"
"What's going on here?" Sakura cried, as she watched Sasuke wrestling with the other Sasuke and Naruto trying to wrestle a bowl of ramen from Naruto-chan.
Suddenly the alarm on the oven went off and Sakura went to open it for the surprise of her life: Kakashi's head just poppedout. His face was red-hot and angry with heat, rage and impatience.
"Wake up! The three of you! RIGHT NOW!""Yes, sensei!" The three of them replied together.
"Okay, before the three of you begin living with each other, I have to outline some rules."
The three ninja listened eagerly, wiping their eyes awake. Naruto's belly growled.
"Rule number one: You remain together, in the same apartment, for one whole month. Every monday morning at about ten a.m., I will visit you at your apartment to see how you're all doing. That's four times we'll meet during your time together."
The ninja's nodded. One month should pass like a second, right?
"Rule number two: You must all sleep and wake up in the apartment every morning and night. You cannot fall asleep outside the apartment or you will be disqualified. Waking time is seven a.m. and sleeping time is eleven p.m."
Sounds simple enough, the ninjas agreed with hard, determined faces.
"Rule number three: There will be no, and I mean NONE WHATSOEVER, physical violence in this household. If the three of you have to settle anything, do it verbally. If I ever so much as see a scratch on any one of you or any damage to the apartment at all, I will fail all three of you and you can all become Chuunin the hard way!"
He stressed this rule very strictly with the tone of his voice. He was serious.
"Obviously, fighting amongst each other is a sign of a bad team," Kakashi reminded them with a waving finger.
The three ninja nodded without another word.
"Rule number four: Stick together, always at least within five yards of each other. Another sign of a good team is whether or not the three of you can stick together, no matter what kid of situation you are in. If one is separated, the entire team could be placed in danger if he or she is killed or captured," He said matter-of-factly.
"Isn't that a bit extreme, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked innocently.
"NO! DO YOU WANT TO DIE SAKURA-CHAN!"
"Eep!" Sakura quickly shut-up.
"And finally," Kakashi continued, returnig to his old self, " Rule number five: If one of you take off or tamper with your collars before one month is over, you all fail the test."
" Collars?" Sasuke buzzed curiously.
Naruto nodded, equally confused, "What collars, Sensei?"
Kakashi pulled out some thin, chain necklaces with a small console attached to them like some sort of stylish pendant. They were perfectly disguised supercomputers.
"Yes, well if the three of you agree to take this special test, I will need to ask all of you to put on these special neck collars. It gathers all sorts of information about your bodies and reports it back to this thing here," Kakashi pointed to a small, folded laptop computer in his hand.
"Psst, Sasuke, where'd he get that laptop? I didn't see him holding one before."
"I don't know. Shut-up."
Kakashi kept going.
"I will keep track of all of you with this laptop computer. It tells me whether or not you are awake by detecting what kind of brain waves are coming from your skulls, that way I know whether or not you're breaking curfew. It also tells me the level of adrenaline in your blood, so I'll always know if one of you is getting angry enough to fight another team member. Lastly, while I can never know where the three of you are within the village at any given time, the collars come with a small-inbuilt generator. If one of you leaves the other two by more than five yards, that one person's collar will begin to shock the wearer until he returns to within the allowed distance. If the three of you leave each other more than five yards individually, you will all be electrocuted until you are reunited," Kakashi announced proudly and with happy eyes.
"How can he be smiling so proudly as he says that?" Naruto wondered to himself.
"Anyways, if any one of you does not want to attempt this test, the other two will not be allowed to participate. The three of you have to go in together. If you all agree right now, I can give you the keys to your fully furnished apartment and you will all also receive small money allowances every week to pay for food and such." Kakashi finished.
The three ninja looked at each other.
Sasuke spoke first, "Let's…
Then Sakura, "…do…
Finally, Naruto, "…it!"
"Let's go, Team Naruto!" A random passerby said in the heat of the moment as he walked past the four ninja. His smile slowly faded when he realized that everyone was staring at him with the same stupid look on all their faces.
"Er, who are you?" Naruto asked him with narrowed eyes.
"I'm an extra!" And his smile returned, this time with two thumbs up! This guy sure was feeling irrationally exuberant today.
"Right," Naruto.
"Hmph," Sasuke said.
"Yes," Sakura added.
"Great! Let's get these collars on, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura!"
And the four ninja and the extra walked to the next block to see their new home for the next month… then the extra was forcefully asked to leave.
Author: And there we go. While writing Recognize My Existence, I'll probably also be working on this fic as a way of releasing stress and dealing with the trauma of flames and people I piss off (I'm not asking anyone to stop reviewing, I love feedback of all kinds, good or bad, and I'll try my best to improve from them). This is just a spontaneous story I came up with and depending on whether or not you guys like it, it may or may not continue. Cheers!