Disclaimer - Uhm, Not mine. Incase you thought other wise for some reason. Possibly lots and lots and lots of drugs. Words are mine though. No stealing.

Authors note: Written for VAMB's Spring Fling 2008. Thanks Cori for the wonderful beta. It's short and kinda sweet.

The Dream

She missed the morning sun. Being woken up every morning by the light of the stars flashing by just wasn't the same. She did however like waking up next to the warm body she was laying next to right now. It was funny, Kathryn couldn't remember how many mornings she had woken up like this, only that it was a dream come true.

She rolled over, propping her self up on her arm to get a better view of him. She watched his steady breathing for a moment before she noticed the sheet at his middle tenting. With a sly smile, Kathryn lifted the sheet to peek and was very pleased with what she saw. She couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be to start her day off with him inside her. She placed her hand on his chest and started to play with the coarse hair there, twirling it in her fingers. Her then trailed her hand down his body, slipping it below the sheet and began to play with the curls that sat above his solid morning erection.

Chakotay began to stir, but his snoring was still constant and soft. Kathryn leaned in and started nibbling on the nape of his neck, and while she was trying to be sneaky she couldn't help but let out a groan as she tasted his skin. His hand traced the line of her spine and sent sparks through her body. At least now she knew he was awake.

Slowly she trailed hot, wet kisses down his chest, stopping to swirl her tongue lazily around each of his nipples. She delighted in the hiss she heard in the back of his throat, his obvious pleasure fueling her own. She continued her journey down his body, watching as his abdominal muscles rippling under her lips and feeling his arousal more firmly against her. She slid down the last few inches and sat up, earning a groan from him at the loss of contact.

He was a truly beautiful example of a human male. Large but not intimidating, the sight of him made her ache and she realized that for the first time she was going to know what it felt like to have him inside her, filling her as she had longed to be for years. The thought made her dizzy with want, but she steadied herself, determined to tease him a little first.

With a wicked grin, she took him into her mouth, steadying herself as he thrust into her with an involuntary cry of surprise. Humming, she slid her mouth up and down his shaft, kissing the tip and massaging his sacs with each pass. She felt his control give way and he swell in her mouth, and she readied herself to receive his seed, but before he could find release, she felt him gently pull her off and up onto his chest.

Before she knew what was happening, he had flipped them, the cool sheets shocking the flushed skin of her back. She shivered and he wrapped his arms around her as if to warm her, but the tender moment was broken as he found the spot behind her ear and she quivered again. She felt him kiss up the side of her face, tenderly covering her eyelids and nose before finding her lips. As he moved his lips over hers, his hands caressed her skin, causing her to sigh with pleasure. She moaned as his lips left hers and tended to her breasts, first kissing the soft flesh of both mounds before using his tongue to circle both her tips the way she had his. When she thought the sensitive flesh could take no more, she felt him suckle her, heightening her arousal to an unbearable level.

She tried to wrap her legs around him, and pull him to where she needed him, but she felt him gently put her legs back down on the bed. She groaned in frustration and saw him grin impishly at her for a moment before she felt two of his fingers enter her, his thumb passing over her clitoris as her hips thrust against his digits.

She heard herself cry out and mumble something indistinguishable even to her own ears, but Chakotay must have known what she wanted because with one last thrust, she felt him remove his fingers and position himself over her, allowing her legs to encircle him this time.

Looking into his eyes, she reached between them and guided him inside her, nearly cumming at the exquisite pleasure of their joining.

They begin rocking in unison, her eyes still locked with his, Slowly their rocking took on a faster pace and then she felt him lose control, his climax triggering the contraction of her own muscles. She never lost eye contact with him as they both went over the edge.

The memory of the morning encounter stayed with Kathryn until she got to the bridge and put the captain's mask firmly in place. Still it was hard for her to deny the sparks that were flowing between her and her second in command as they sat next to each other on the bridge. As wonderful as her morning was going, there seemed to be something off about everything. Everything seemed a little brighter somehow and almost too perfect. It was as though someone had turned up the contrast on the universe. Kathryn chalked it up to her early morning romp in the hay with Chakotay and the way it had made her glow.

Banter on the bridge was quick and natural, led of course by Tom Paris, the ships resident entertainer. As usual, it made the slow days seem not quite as slow. Plus it kept everyone in good spirits, except for Tuvok whose face showed his constant expression of ambivalence. Kathryn monitored the entire scene from her command seat in the centre of the bridge, occasionally chuckling at the ever growing number of creative ways that Tom and Harry found to annoy Chakotay.

"Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway." Seven's voice came over the comm, shattering the playful mood with the crispness of her voice.

"Janeway here." Kathryn said.

"The next batch of messages from Starfleet has arrived, and there is one here for you and Commander Chakotay. It's marked urgent."

"We'll be right down. Mr. Tuvok you have the bridge."

Kathryn and Chakotay got up from their respective seats and headed to the turbo lift. On the way, by she thought she saw Harry at the helm, But when she looked back again she saw Tom in his rightful place, guiding the ship through space. It seemed almost like a glitch, or a wiring malfunction in her brain. She pushed the thought out of her head and concentrated on figuring out what kind of news from Starfleet would important enough to be marked as urgent for both her and Chakotay.

When they reached astrometrics, Seven was standing at the console going through the different data streams that had been received. Kathryn noticed that she was wearing a bright red one piece jumper instead of her normal more subdued colors. It was odd to see Seven in such a bright and distracting color. Something about it didn't fit right in Kathryn's head. 'Strange day today.' She mused.

"The message was marked private for both you and the commander. I'll wait outside." Seven left the message prompted on the console and then turned and left the room.

'If it was private, why didn't she just send it to my ready room?' Kathryn thought.

"Are you ready?" Chakotay said. He was standing at the console waiting to press the button that would play the message.

"Yes." Admiral Owen Paris's face appeared on the screen as soon as he pressed it. After the words "your son" and "accident" Kathryn's attention left. She couldn't remember ever having a son, let alone leaving one on Earth. She also couldn't get her mind around why Chakotay would need to hear this information. Her hands were fidgeting in front of her when she noticed the ring on her left hand, and then the matching one on Chakotay's.

"Kathryn, are you okay?" Chakotay's voice broke through her confusing thoughts.

She turned to look at him. "Yeah, I think so. Are you?"

"Owen said Aidan would be okay and that his injuries weren't serious, so yes, I am okay." He said.

"I wish I could be there to hold him." Kathryn said.

Chakotay wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Kathryn took in the strong sent of him. How could she be married to this man that she had loved forever and not remember? Not only married, but have a son? A son that they apparently left behind on Earth when they headed to the Delta Quadrant? All of that didn't make sense. Neither did Seven wearing a bright and flashy color like she was, or her waking up to Chakotay this morning as if it was the most natural thing in the space time continuum, rather than just a dream coming true. Still, as she snuggled into Chakotay's chest, she didn't care what was wrong as long as he held her as tightly as he did right now.

"I wish I was there too. For now though we can keep him in our thoughts, like we always do." He said, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"You're right. I'm glad that Owen was the one that recorded the message. I don't think I could have taken it if had come from anyone else." She broke out of his hug. "We should get back to the bridge."

Chakotay wiped a strand of hair off Kathryn's face and tucked it behind her ear before cupping her face softly with his hand. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather take the rest of the day off? I'm sure the rest of the crew wouldn't mind."

She thought about it for a moment. "Actually you know, I think that I might. I could use some rest." She said. She needed the time to her self to figure out exactly what was going on. Kathryn lifted herself on tip toes and kissed him, before leaving astrometrics.

On her way back to her quarters she noticed that Chakotay no longer had his own quarters,. which meant that he lived with her. That would make sense if they were married, but Kathryn couldn't seem to wrap her head around the fact that she would be together and have a child with the man she had coveted from the moment she met him and not remember either event. She decided that before she headed to lie down that she would take a trip to sickbay to see if the Doctor could help her make sense of everything.

The trip was less than helpful. When she got there Ensign Wildman was there as the doctor, with Kes as her nurse. While Kathryn loved seeing Kes again, she knew that there was no way that Kes could still be on the ship, and although Ensign Wildman was one of the more competent science officers on the ship she was a long way from the Doctor.

'Dreaming. That is what is going on. I'm dreaming. That's the reason everything seems so surreal and out of place, because it is.' Kathryn thought. The realization alone though didn't seem to be enough to get her to wake up. 'Fine. I'll do this the old fashioned way.' She pinched her thigh and screamed.

When she opened her eyes again, she was in her own bed and this time there was no one in bed with her. Her heart sank.

Kathryn couldn't focus at all through the day. The dream stayed in the back of her mind. It felt so real, and the feelings in it were so real. She could still remember how it felt to wake up next to Chakotay, and how it felt to start her day with him. She could remember the fun of the bickering that went on the bridge. She recalled too how she felt when she heard the news that her and Chakotay's son had fallen off a cliff and broken his leg, wrist and four of his ribs. Worst of all she remembered how it felt when she woke up and none of it was real. It made for a difficult working situation.

By midday, Chakotay came into her ready room, having noticed her lack of focus and how quiet she was.

"Something on your mind?" He asked after he sat down on her couch.

"I had the strangest dream last night. The kind that just sticks with you all day long." She explained. She grabbed her coffee cup and sat down beside him.

"Did you want to talk about it?"

Kathryn sighed. "Not really, but thank you." She put her hand on his, and remembered the matching wedding bands. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Always." He placed his other hand on top of hers.

"If we were home, do you think there would be a chance for us?"

"I do." He nodded and smiled, Kathryn could have sworn she even saw a touch of hope in his eyes.

"Fuck it." She muttered before leaning in and kissing him, hard. He returned it with a fervor that left her breathless.

"That must have been some dream." He whispered when they pulled apart, both flushed and panting.

She just smiled her quirky smile at him, before kissing him again.