Larry Butz: Ace Attorney
May 16th, 2019
As Larry handed his cab driver money from his wallet, he stepped outside into the blazing sun, marveling at the building in front of him.
The Prosecutor's Office.
His amazement was cut short as the driver started barking instructions to Larry over the sound of his cab engine.
"We're outside B Block, sonny. You just head on around to the main office. This as far as I can go, man. Like, see ya soon. Or never."
As he drove off, Larry silently fumed, blowing up the driver's head in his overly active imagination. In a daze, he pulled out the note Edgeworth addressed to him and started navigating himself to his office.
"Aw man, why'd ol' Edgy have to drag me out on such a nice day like today? I had to miss a date with Mindy!"
As Larry entered the main reception floor, a well reserved man in his late thirties beckoned for him. Seeing as Larry was a little weeny lost lamb in this place, he headed over.
"Ah, are you perhaps Mr. Butz, sir?" Larry was surprised at the mention of his name, though he then dismissed it when he realized Edgeworth probably sold another of his excess billionaire space aliens babies to hire the ridiculously fancy man.
"Yep, sure am! Boy, you must be an idiot, to not know the great Larry, secondary school graduate and savior of Miller Edgeworth!"
Absorbed in his gloat, Larry never noticed the bellboy silently snicker at the incorrect pronunciation of Miles Edgeworth's name.
"Ah yes, he has certainly been expecting you. I will escort you to his office at once."
After what seemed like an eternity, they finally made it to his office. Larry was flabbergasted at the sight. Fancy coat hanging in a display case? Check. Fancy tea leaves? Check. Fancier tea set? Check. Fancy desk? Check.
As Larry absorbed everything in the room, his eyes laid upon a certainly peculiar sight. A hero that Larry once was.
"Is that…the Steel-"
"YES BUTZ"
Larry screamed as the scowling face of Edgeworth entered his field of vision. With a wave, Edgeworth dismissed the bellboy and draped a hankerchief over the Steel Samurai, barely covering the torso. Flustered, Edgeworth immediately roped Larry over to a guest chair, where Larry sat in awkward silence.
"…Do you know why you are here today?"
To tell the truth, Larry really didn't know. He had been called on a whim by Edgeworth and he never bothered to reveal the reason. Larry only really came because Edgeworth had pasted the note on his apartment door, attracting his super nosey neighbor's attention. At the sight of the silent Larry, Edgeworth sighed.
"Unbelievable, the size of your stupidity knows no bounds. Have you even ventured out into civilization this past month? Read the newspaper? Watch the television?"
"Uh… no?" To be honest, Larry HAD been watching TV…recorded videos of him acting as the Steel Samurai that is. His girlfriend had been nice enough to record it!
"Come with me, we're going to Wright's office."
"Uh, whazzat? I just got here, Edgey!"
Larry was crushed, he came all the way to the top of this enormous building, only to have to climb down again? Soon, Edgeworth left the room, Larry only followed thanks to the comment about the doors being locked from the inside. Who knew if that was actually true? The Prosecutors had a butt load of money, way beyond the comprehension of Larry. Thankfully, Edgeworth arranged a car, so it wasn't too bad. Still, Larry wondered about the entire deal. Why go over to Phoenix's place? Sure, he always has cute girls around but, why'd Edgeworth bring him along? Surely Edgeworth had a schedule to keep.
Looking forlorn, Larry never noticed that they had arrived. Looking at the Wright & Co. Offices, he couldn't help but notice that something was wrong. What it was, he didn't know.
Walking inside with Edgeworth in tow, Larry immediately knew something was wrong. On the couch, slouched a tiny girl, happily doodling away on random documents with crayon. In particular, she was trying hard to color over the words of the documents.
"Uh hey, Nick? There's a thief in here, snatching your stuff away!"
In almost a flash, Phoenix Wright burst into the room. He wasn't wearing his iconic blue suit, instead he was wearing a simple white dress shirt, battling away the heat of summer. Upon clearing his mind, he scanned over the occupants of the room and sighed in relief upon realizing the thief was nowhere to be found. More importantly, he was glad the girl was safe.
"L-Larry? You could've given me a heart attack! Don't scare me like that!"
Larry grinned. He always loved teasing Nick. His mind soon returned to the girl.
"So, Nick, who's the lady? Another of your usual heroic sidekicks?"
Phoenix's face turned grim upon the topic being brought back to the girl. He walked to his desk, and returned holding a month old newspaper column. Without a word, he handed it to Larry.
"SCANDAL! DEFENCE ATTORNEY PHOENIX WRIGHT FORGES EVIDENCE, SUBSEQUENTLY DISBARRED!"
"I ALWAYS HAD MY DOUBTS ON THAT MAN! HE'S A SCAM, LIKE ALL DEFENCE ATTORNEYS!"
"HOPEFULLY, THE WORLD OF LAW WILL RETURN TO ITS FORMER GLORY WITH HEATHENS LIKE HIM GONE!"
Larry's heart sunk deeper with each word. He was an idiot, but he knew enough about law from all their mock trials in grade school and hanging around Nick to know that 'disbarred' means losing your badge. It still didn't answer the question of who the girl was, though.
Wright finally spoke up, upon realizing Larry had finished reading.
"…I was disbarred following the trial of Zak Gramarye. It all happened so quick, I pulled out my trump card, the one this very girl gave me in the waiting lobby. But… it was a trap. The evidence I presented was forged, and I got disbarred. No verdict was reached since Zak Gramarye disappeared. This girl is his daughter.
Seeing as Phoenix had no intention of continuing, Edgeworth interjected.
"To summarize for you, Butz. You shall be acting as a defense attorney for the Wright & Co. Law Offices until Wright finds a home for the girl."
…what?
"W-What!?"
Larry's mind was blown by Edgeworth's sudden bomb. He, a defence attorney? He, secondary school graduate, Larry, a defence attorney?
His mind failed him, and Larry burst out screaming.
"…pulled the appropriate strings for you. If you take the time to study, you should quickly pass your bar exam. I personally, shall be visiting your apartment daily to supply you with necessities and assist you in your studies. Your primary goal is to help support Wright until a home for the girl is found, as he has made it apparent that he is incapable of feeding two without a job. Until Wright either finds another source of income or a home for the girl is found, you are to work under him. Have I made myself clear?"
After sitting through the ridiculously long lecture and overview, Larry would do just about anything if it meant being able to stand up again. He gave a quick nod and Edgeworth left to discuss matters with Wright, his work far from done.
"Man, Nick sure dug himself in a hole this time."
Looking solemnly at the massive pile of books and reports intended for him, he barely noticed a red she-devil making her way behind him, anxious to test her magic on the unsuspecting Larry. (Un)Fortunately, her stealth failed her and Larry whirled around, pulling his fingers into a gun. Larry the master of detection, he thought. Nope. Larry, defence attorney now. Well, technically normal bum, since he hasn't taken the exam yet.
"W-wah!"
The girl in red turned an even brighter shade of red as she realized her master plot had failed.
"Not this time, demon!"
"I'm not a demon! I'm Trucy! I'm a super awesome magician!"
And with a swift motion, Larry was assaulted in his precious family jewels. The girl known as Trucy skipped away, boasting about her victory. Though she was foiled once, twice shall never happen!
"This is gonna suck…"
AN: Yep, this is gonna suck. I only realized what a mess I dragged myself into when a friend pointed it out. This little project is going to suck up my free time, so it will only ever update periodically. And while you wait for updates, feel free to read the billions of other, superior 'Larry Defence Attorney' fics out in the web. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to cry in a corner now.