Hey all this is my first story, hope you laugh and enjoy it!
Don't read if you are sensitive to adult content!!!!
(I do not own Ardeth Bey-i just gaze from afar- I also dont own Acorn, the
scorpian king, Yogurt, Elvis or Graceland, or any other characters you may
recognize. Bubbles, Amanda, Erin, and others are mine-you cant take them
away!!!)
You may need to know:
The Mummy/Returns
The 10th Kingdom
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
and my general hate for Freddie Prinze Jr
-ask if you have questions!
The hot never-ending desert was not the best place for a gold fish, but despite the heat and lack of water that's where Bubbles lived and had done so for nearly five years. He didn't mind any of the obvious setbacks of being a goldfish in the desert, but Bubbles fear the desert raiders and their love of fish filet. It was one of those hot, mirage-inducing mornings that Bubbles was discovered by group of desert men all dressed in black. The men had been wandering for three days when they came across the pond where Bubbles lived. As the leader bent over to check the water for contamination, he spotted Bubbles who had took to playing dead. "Yum, fish filet!" he thought hungrily while trying to shield his find from the others. "Its been a while since I've had fish!"
Just as the leader began to scoop up the fish one of his followers yelled, "Ardeth! Raiders are coming!"
Quickly Ardeth scooped up Bubbles into his extra water skin. The men had drawn their weapons and waited for the attack when they found that the group was only a search party from the first Medjai tribe. The two groups met and left for their camp.
Later that night, in his luxurary three room super tent Ardeth remembered his fish filet. Bubbles, who was tired of playing dead was carefully exploring the pouch when Ardeth's sexy eyes appeared at the opening of the pouch. Bubbles looked into the surprised eyes of the medjai and raced through his options for the present.
Ardeth was shocked to find his fishy treat happily swimming about and now stupidly staring at him. He started to think of what to do. The medjai forbade any of its followers to kill any being that was not currently undead and that included goldfish. Ardeth now disappointed, thought of his options and how to make the fish's death look like an accident.
"Hi." Bubbles began warily, "I'm Bubbles. I know you were looking forward to making me fish filet, but please I don't want to be cooked alive!"
"I hadn't thought of that yet, maybe that would work. it would be hard to hang a fish."
"Wait! I have a career and a family. I know a. a magic fish! He could get you all the fish filets you could ever dream of!"
"I dream pretty big! And career? What career? You're a filet! You better not tell me you're a fry cook."
"No, of course not! I don't exactly have a career yet, but I'm working to be a porn star."
"Porn? Which is.?" Ardeth asked confused-like. Bubbles sputtered, unsure of what to tell the sexy sheltered medjai.
"Well if you don't eat me , I'll tell you on the way to the city."
"I have to take you to the city?. No filet? I think not!"
"You'll like it! I promise! I'll even help you find another filet."
Ardeth was curious enough to ask the tribe wiseman, who also had no concept of the word porn. Still undecided Ardeth returned to his tent and took a nap. While dreaming Ardeth was isited by the Scorpian King, an Egyptian mythical leader who had formed an alliance with the god Anubis then (reference to the movie). The Scorpian King told Ardeth that he waas to take Bubbles to the city, it was his destiny to bring porn to the nomad medjai. The mythical leaser left and Ardeth awakened and went to retrieve Bubbles from the hiding place he had left him.
"Fine. I'll take you, but no fishy business!"
"I could kiss you!, but well I don't have lips. Why did you change your mind?"
"I was visited by the Scorpian King, it was revealed that I was to bring this porn you speak of to the medjai. I must accompany you to find an old friend of mine. You still must tell me what this porn is though!"
The next day Ardeth and Bubbles set out for their two day ride to the city. Bubbles was fidgety in his water skin at Ardeth's side. He wanted to get out and breathe fresh water.
"Just wait an oasis is up ahead. We will stay there for tonight." Ardeth said in his sexy mmonotone voice. When they stopped Ardeth let Bubbles swim in the small pond while he set up his bedroll and started a fire. A rdeth was glad no other medjai were escorting them. It would have been to tempting to share a Bubbles filet. He decided to let Bubbles sleep in the pond and then he prepared for bed. Ardeth removed his shirt revealing a very muscular chest and arms, then he laid back and went to sleep not realizing how sexy he is.
The hot never-ending desert was not the best place for a gold fish, but despite the heat and lack of water that's where Bubbles lived and had done so for nearly five years. He didn't mind any of the obvious setbacks of being a goldfish in the desert, but Bubbles fear the desert raiders and their love of fish filet. It was one of those hot, mirage-inducing mornings that Bubbles was discovered by group of desert men all dressed in black. The men had been wandering for three days when they came across the pond where Bubbles lived. As the leader bent over to check the water for contamination, he spotted Bubbles who had took to playing dead. "Yum, fish filet!" he thought hungrily while trying to shield his find from the others. "Its been a while since I've had fish!"
Just as the leader began to scoop up the fish one of his followers yelled, "Ardeth! Raiders are coming!"
Quickly Ardeth scooped up Bubbles into his extra water skin. The men had drawn their weapons and waited for the attack when they found that the group was only a search party from the first Medjai tribe. The two groups met and left for their camp.
Later that night, in his luxurary three room super tent Ardeth remembered his fish filet. Bubbles, who was tired of playing dead was carefully exploring the pouch when Ardeth's sexy eyes appeared at the opening of the pouch. Bubbles looked into the surprised eyes of the medjai and raced through his options for the present.
Ardeth was shocked to find his fishy treat happily swimming about and now stupidly staring at him. He started to think of what to do. The medjai forbade any of its followers to kill any being that was not currently undead and that included goldfish. Ardeth now disappointed, thought of his options and how to make the fish's death look like an accident.
"Hi." Bubbles began warily, "I'm Bubbles. I know you were looking forward to making me fish filet, but please I don't want to be cooked alive!"
"I hadn't thought of that yet, maybe that would work. it would be hard to hang a fish."
"Wait! I have a career and a family. I know a. a magic fish! He could get you all the fish filets you could ever dream of!"
"I dream pretty big! And career? What career? You're a filet! You better not tell me you're a fry cook."
"No, of course not! I don't exactly have a career yet, but I'm working to be a porn star."
"Porn? Which is.?" Ardeth asked confused-like. Bubbles sputtered, unsure of what to tell the sexy sheltered medjai.
"Well if you don't eat me , I'll tell you on the way to the city."
"I have to take you to the city?. No filet? I think not!"
"You'll like it! I promise! I'll even help you find another filet."
Ardeth was curious enough to ask the tribe wiseman, who also had no concept of the word porn. Still undecided Ardeth returned to his tent and took a nap. While dreaming Ardeth was isited by the Scorpian King, an Egyptian mythical leader who had formed an alliance with the god Anubis then (reference to the movie). The Scorpian King told Ardeth that he waas to take Bubbles to the city, it was his destiny to bring porn to the nomad medjai. The mythical leaser left and Ardeth awakened and went to retrieve Bubbles from the hiding place he had left him.
"Fine. I'll take you, but no fishy business!"
"I could kiss you!, but well I don't have lips. Why did you change your mind?"
"I was visited by the Scorpian King, it was revealed that I was to bring this porn you speak of to the medjai. I must accompany you to find an old friend of mine. You still must tell me what this porn is though!"
The next day Ardeth and Bubbles set out for their two day ride to the city. Bubbles was fidgety in his water skin at Ardeth's side. He wanted to get out and breathe fresh water.
"Just wait an oasis is up ahead. We will stay there for tonight." Ardeth said in his sexy mmonotone voice. When they stopped Ardeth let Bubbles swim in the small pond while he set up his bedroll and started a fire. A rdeth was glad no other medjai were escorting them. It would have been to tempting to share a Bubbles filet. He decided to let Bubbles sleep in the pond and then he prepared for bed. Ardeth removed his shirt revealing a very muscular chest and arms, then he laid back and went to sleep not realizing how sexy he is.