To live a dream
Pain cut through her when she opened her eyes. The sun shining on the walls did nothing to help diminish it. She could feel it slice straight through her heart. She wanted to go back to sleep. To go back to dreaming but she knew she could not. There is nothing to gain by dreaming.
She heard voices in the kitchen and in the living room. They were already here. She had thought that maybe she would have sometime alone before she had to face what she had to face. But obviously life had other plans, so she threw back the covers and got out of bed. A cold shower would help, surely to ease the ache that hurt so bad it dulled her brain.
She dressed and walked quietly down the hallway. She really did not want to see anyone so before they noticed she was there she turned a little to the left and exited out of the glass sliding doors onto the deck. The knowledge of what she was looking at across the backyard caused her knees to buckle and had it not been for the strong grip of the man's arms behind her, she would have hit the ground. The lake. The lake with no fish. His refuge and solace in life.
She knew who held her. She knew if he were here there would be no escaping him so she allowed him to pull her up tight and as she cried the cry of a dying dream, his tears mixed with hers. The pain still as strong in her heart as it had been two days ago when she had found out that her lover would no longer be coming home.
She pulled back from the man in front of her – the one closer than any brother could ever be to the one she had lost. She looked at him with questioning eyes, begging him to explain it to her. How could they have fought as many battles as they had fought, defeated as many enemies as they had defeated, came close to dying and even dying and yet still make it back here – to home? Why would this wait to happen after all the fighting was over? It would have made so much more sense to her had it been during a battle that had taken him from her.
Teal'c did not know the answer to this question. The same question he had asked so many times since this had all begun. He helped her back into the cabin, waited at the bedroom door as Janet helped her prepare for the hardest day of her life. When she was dressed, he helped get her to the car outside, passing the black F250 sitting in the driveway. Sitting there covered in snow, a stark reminder that no one had been in it to drive it anywhere. A reminder that he had not been here to drive it.
They had fought so long and hard to be together. Battling the worlds enemies and putting their love aside until they knew the world would be safe. Finally, they were able to slip into the bonds of marriage while their friends cheered them on. Glad that at last their lives could start, the dream had come true.
It had all happened so fast. No one knew all the details yet but General Hammond was trying his best to find out. All anyone knew was that he had been on his way to the Pentagon that morning two days ago when a single shot took him out. Sam had gone crazy, demanding justice be done.
That is until the surgeon came out to the waiting room. When she saw the look upon his face she no longer cared about justice. He died on the operating table, the bullet still lodged in his brain.
All she wanted was to die with him, there was nothing left here for her in this place. The place they had fought to free so they could be together and now that was gone. Her dream had turned into a nightmare. Maybe he would have been safer had they never admitted how they felt towards each other.
The ceremony was beautiful for the most part. All of their friends were there, even some of their allies had arrived to pay their respects for the man who had given so much to help them but whose life had ended so quickly. When they handed her the folded flag, she could feel darkness sweeping over her as she gave into her grieve. She did not wake up again the rest of the day and her friends worried about her sanity.
Sam no longer cared about what her friends may or may not be worried about. She was warm and safe. The arms around her securing her to the firm body behind her. She had not lost him, he was here. Right here tucked in safely behind her. She did not need to worry about being alone. She had found him again and her solace was complete. The dream had not let her down.
For she would live her dream everyday if she had to, right here in their bed with her mind shut off so that it could not awaken her. She would live her dream with her Jack and never have to face reality. She would be happy here – just living a dream.