This is a little plot bunny that's been bouncing around in my head and it wouldn't let me continue working on my other story until I purged it so here it is. Purged. At this point, I'm leaving it as a one-shot, however, I do have ideas for turning it into a chaptered story. Or more of a multiple one-shots series if you will if enough people think they might want to read that sort of thing. :) Let me know!

Compassion had never been Leonard McCoy's strong suit. In high school, his favorite science teacher had once told him that if they recieved a grade on empathy it would have been the only failing grade he would ever receive.

He would have loved to blame it on his ex-wife, but the fact was he was bad at handling people long before she had handled him badly. Medical school and his divorce had undoubtedly made him worse. Hardened him to the fact that if he didn't let himself start caring about someone then when they died, or disappointed you, or cheated on you with one of your best friends then it didn't hurt so bad you would think that the universe was sucking your heart out through your chest with no pain meds.

Slowly, over time, he fell into a relationship with the ship's communication officer, Nyota Uhura. About two years after her brief ill-fated tryst with the half-Vulcan science officer and second in command, Spock. Leonard wasn't sure that what he had to offer was something Nyota was interested in buying.

Turned out, not only was she interested, but she brought out a new side to "Leo", as she called him. No, he wasn't instantly cured. He didn't stop complaining, he still swore, regularly, and Lord knows he still drank, but he found himself complaining about how long it was between their private time, swearing when she did that little twist of her hips as she rode him to completion, and drinking a glass of bourbon while she curled up next to him softly breathing as he stroked her veil of hair that framed her face.

So he did what any other self-respecting doctor would do in the same situation he married the girl and knocked her up almost immediately.

No one had been more surprised than McCoy when he awoke one morning to find Nyota gone from their quarters with no note. Grumbling as he made his way through sick bay about disrespect and how you'd think that once you put a rock the size of the Orion galaxy on her hand, that a woman, who just happened to be a communications officer, could leave a note when they disappeared from the home that you shared he didn't notice her sitting at his desk for a moment.

"What're you doing here?" As usual his surly mood and taciturn attitude didn't dampen Nyota's warm and happy spirit in the least.

"Waiting for you." His eyebrow raised slightly in disbelief.

"And you couldn't wait for me in our quarters, where you left me this morning, with no explanation?" She shrugged as she made her way from behind his desk and perched on the front.

Crossing her legs demurely she responded, "I had a physical this morning."

His brow knit in confusion. "You're not due for your annual physical and why would you make an appointment to have someone give you a physical when, need I remind you, that I'm a doctor. Not just a doctor, but the Chief Medical Officer aboard this flying hunk of cursed metal?" He tossed his PADD onto the desk in a show of disgust and made to move past her.

Grabbing his hands she moved him to stand in front of her. He didn't mean to be so upset with her for things that seemed so trivial, but this is how it had started with his ex. Disappearances that she could always explain away with a shrug and a smirk and being the fool that he was he thought the smirk was because she thought he was being overprotective when in actuality she was laughing at his naive trust while she screwed other men.

"Leo, I'm pregnant." She placed his hands gently on her still taut and smooth stomach. His head snapping up to look at her eyes wide with awe and wonder. What else? Was that fear she saw swimming in the depths? He backed away slowly and disengaged his hands from her body.

"What?....I mean, how...when did you...." She finally looked a little miffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What? You're surprised? Well, as you so thoughtfully reminded me only a few moments ago, Leonard, you are the Chief Medical Officer of this flying hunk of cursed metal and I'm pretty sure it was you with me on our wedding night when you said you didn't want to wait and that you weren't going to update my birth control shot because you wanted to start a family." He ran his hands through his hair as he made is way to his chair behind her.

She was right. He had said that. Had all but begged her to carry his children and not make him wait to watch her grow round with his seed, but that was what he wanted and now that he was actually getting it and he was scared. Shit less.

Now there was really going to be a human being that was half of him and half of Nyota and completely reliant on them for direction and love and he wasn't good at that stuff. He clearly had not thought this out before he had repeatedly loved his wife without a condom or birth control of any kind.

She was pregnant. His beautiful wife who loved him no matter how mean he was and who always let him watch his Ole Miss football games. She always made sure he ate and never complained about his drinking as long as he didn't get crazy. Nyota wasn't critical, or devious, or selfish. As a matter of fact, she didn't even want this at first. He had convinced her that nothing would make him happier than having children with her so she had given her consent and now he was acting like a total jerk.

As they had just pointed out, twice, he was CMO of the Enterprise, which meant one thing, experience. He knew the subtle nuances of pregnancy and the way to treat women who were going through this miraculous period, but that also meant he had years of miscarriages and still births.

Countless times of being covered in a young woman's blood and having to tell her worried husband that she or the baby or she and the baby hadn't made it. He wasn't sure which was worse and he always felt guilty for the way the words of comfort clung in his mouth and never came out right. They always seemed so hollow and mechanical coming from him. If he was Vulcan he would have rejoiced in that, but being human he simply felt woefully inadequate.

Inadequate. That single word summed up the situation. He didn't deserve Nyota or the blessings she had brought to his life, including this child, and knowing that he was terrified that in order to balance itself the universe was going to take something away. What would he do if he had to try and comfort Nyota through the loss of a child or if he had to raise a child without her?

She had made her way to the door and was about to leave when his voice stopped her.

"Nyota." Her body shuddered with the deep breath she took before she turned and when she did face him his insides clenched painfully at the tracks of tears that ran down her face. He had done this. No one to blame but himself. He immediately strode over to her. Three large strides and he had her gathered in his arms protectively.

"Baby, please, don't cry, I'm so sorry Darlin'. I just can't imagine that I deserve you, or any of this and I lost myself there for a moment. I'm sorry. Just don't upset yourself, okay? It's not good for you or the baby." She pulled herself from him and he noticed the mascara and tear smears on his blue shirt. He would wear them as a reminder of what he had done. If he could wear it on his skin as a cross to bear for making the only woman who had truly loved him cry then he would. She smiled through watery eyes at him.

"I thought you would be happy." He nodded.

"I am Baby. I'm over the moon. Can I believe that someone like you wants to stay married to me and pump out my most likely exceedingly negative little brats? No. Am I afraid I'm gonna screw this up and some how lose you or your love? Absolutely. But I'm gonna work through that because Dammit I'm a doctor, not a pussy and that's what you need right now." She shook her head and wound her arms around his neck. Rising on tip toe she pulled his head down so that their foreheads met gently.

"No, Leo. I don't need a doctor. I need my husband and the father to this child and the man that I see every night when you leave the outside world actually outside and come into our little haven. You are the man that I love. You may not be super romantic and you may not always say the perfect thing, but the love you have for me. That undying and unyielding love that I can see reflected in your eyes every time you look at me. That's deserving of everything I have to offer and more."

He nodded and kissed her softly and dropping to his knees in front of her he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. Putting his face to her stomach and closed his eyes and breathed in the relaxing clean scent of his wife and allowed himself to enjoy this turn of good the universe was giving him. He promised in return he would only complain about how much she wouldn't let him do for her, he would only swear to love her and any children they had with everything in him, and he would only drink in the moments that were their life together.