I'm sure this has probably been done a million times over, but it's not like I'm scouting to check. lol. I like this song and I thought of doing a parody for it. I hope you enjoy. :) (Please dont' be offended by the content/pairings..it worked out that way. xD)
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Cell Block Tango' which is a catchy song from Chicago, nor do I own Harry Potter and co. Only Harry Potter merchandise, but you can't have any so don't even bother. :P
Guard: And now, the six Wicked Witches of the Azkaban Wizard Prison in their rendition of "The Azkaban Tango."
[GINNY]
Snap!
[PANSY]
Sex!
[HERMIONE]
Crucio!
[OLYMPIA]
No no!
[ALICIA]
Cauldron
[CHO]
Diggory!
[repeat three times]
[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
[GINNY]
Snap!
[PANSY]
Sex!
[HERMIONE]
Crucio!
[OLYMPIA]
No no!
[ALICIA]
Cauldron
[CHO]
Diggory!
[ALICIA]
I betcha you would have done the same!
[GINNY (spoken)]
You know how people have these little habits
That just drive you nuts? Like Colin
Colin like to take pictures of people.
No, not take. SNAP.
Well, I walked into the common room one day,
and I am really irritated and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Colin stretched
across the couch, with the Patil twins
and takin pics'. No, not takin'.
Snappin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "Colin, you click that
camera one more time..."
*giggles*
And he did.
So I took my wand out of my pocket
and I fired two deadly curses...
...into his head.
[GIRLS]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
[PANSY (spoken)]
I met Draco Malfoy from
A party at his parents house
before we came into Hogwarts
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started going out together.
We'd go to class, he'd disappear for an hour,
I'd mix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
Well, it was like heaven in
our cold dungeon rooms.
And then I found out,
"Committed" he told me?
Committed, my ass. Not only
was he not into me
...oh, no, he was screwing other girls.
One of those players, you know. So that
night, when he came to the common room,
I mixed him his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their Wolfsbane.
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE, CHO]
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
[ALICIA, OLYMPIA]
Snap! Sex! Crucio! No no! Cauldron! Diggory!
[HERMIONE (spoken)]
Now, I'm standing in the transfiguration
classroom, practicing what we did today
and minding my own business,
and in storms my boyfriend, Ron
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' Harry Potter,"
he says. He was crazy!
and he kept screamin',
"You been screwin' Harry Potter."
And then he ran into my wand.
He ran into my wand ten times!
[ALL]
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[OLYMPIA (spoken)]
What am I doin' 'ere?
Zey say, zat ze Minister of Magic was after my 'Agrid
and zat I sliced off 'is 'ead. But zis iz not true!
I am guiltless! I do not know why Ze Ministry says
zat I did it. I tried to explain at Ze Ministry
but zey didn't understand me...
[Hermione (spoken)]
Yeah, but did you do it?
[OLYMPIA (spoken)]
No no! Not guiltee!
[ALICIA (spoken)]
My team mate, Angelina and
I did this broomstick act
and my boyfriend, George,
used to come along with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did 20 sporatic broom tricks in a row
One, two, three four, five...dives, feints,
ball passes, bludger backbeats
one right after the other.
Well, one night we were in the Leaky Cauldron,
the three of us, sittin' up
in a rented room, boozin' and
havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of butterbeer.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Angelina and
George doing Number Twenty-three -
the Bludger Backbeat.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my broomstick
I even knew they were dead.
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
[ALICIA]
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
[ALICIA]
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
[ALICIA]
They had it coming all along
[GIRLS]
And then they used it
[ALICIA]
But if I'd done it
[GIRLS]
And they abused it
[ALICIA]
How could you tell me
[GIRLS]
It was a murder
[ALICIA]
That I was wrong?!
[CHO (spoken)]
I loved Cedric Diggory
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real snitch-worthy guy
athletic... a seeker.
But he was really devoted.
He was always out
trying to catch that snitch.
He'd go out every day
to practice his catch
and on the way
he cought Hannah,
Katie, Percy and Dobby.
I guess you can say we broke
up because of our quidditch differences.
He saw himself with a snitch in his hands
and I saw him with a bludger in his head.
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
They had it comin'
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
They had it comin'
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
They had it comin'
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
They had it comin'
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
They had it comin'
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
They had it comin'
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
All along
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA, GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
All along.
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us
And they abused us
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
How could you tell us
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
How could you tell us That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
[GINNY (Spoken)]
You snap that camera one more time!
[PANSY (spoken)]
Committed my ass.
[HERMIONE (Spoken)]
Ten times!
[OLYMPIA (Spoken)]
But Ze Ministry did not understand me
[ALICIA (Spoken)]
Number twenty-three, the bludger backbeat
[CHO (Spoken)]
Quidditch differences.
[ALL]
I betcha you would have done the same!
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Cell Block Tango' which is a catchy song from Chicago, nor do I own Harry Potter and co. Only Harry Potter merchandise, but you can't have any so don't even bother. :P
Guard: And now, the six Wicked Witches of the Azkaban Wizard Prison in their rendition of "The Azkaban Tango."
[GINNY]
Snap!
[PANSY]
Sex!
[HERMIONE]
Crucio!
[OLYMPIA]
No no!
[ALICIA]
Cauldron
[CHO]
Diggory!
[repeat three times]
[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
[GINNY]
Snap!
[PANSY]
Sex!
[HERMIONE]
Crucio!
[OLYMPIA]
No no!
[ALICIA]
Cauldron
[CHO]
Diggory!
[ALICIA]
I betcha you would have done the same!
[GINNY (spoken)]
You know how people have these little habits
That just drive you nuts? Like Colin
Colin like to take pictures of people.
No, not take. SNAP.
Well, I walked into the common room one day,
and I am really irritated and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Colin stretched
across the couch, with the Patil twins
and takin pics'. No, not takin'.
Snappin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "Colin, you click that
camera one more time..."
*giggles*
And he did.
So I took my wand out of my pocket
and I fired two deadly curses...
...into his head.
[GIRLS]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
[ALL]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
[PANSY (spoken)]
I met Draco Malfoy from
A party at his parents house
before we came into Hogwarts
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started going out together.
We'd go to class, he'd disappear for an hour,
I'd mix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
Well, it was like heaven in
our cold dungeon rooms.
And then I found out,
"Committed" he told me?
Committed, my ass. Not only
was he not into me
...oh, no, he was screwing other girls.
One of those players, you know. So that
night, when he came to the common room,
I mixed him his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their Wolfsbane.
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE, CHO]
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
[ALICIA, OLYMPIA]
Snap! Sex! Crucio! No no! Cauldron! Diggory!
[HERMIONE (spoken)]
Now, I'm standing in the transfiguration
classroom, practicing what we did today
and minding my own business,
and in storms my boyfriend, Ron
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' Harry Potter,"
he says. He was crazy!
and he kept screamin',
"You been screwin' Harry Potter."
And then he ran into my wand.
He ran into my wand ten times!
[ALL]
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[OLYMPIA (spoken)]
What am I doin' 'ere?
Zey say, zat ze Minister of Magic was after my 'Agrid
and zat I sliced off 'is 'ead. But zis iz not true!
I am guiltless! I do not know why Ze Ministry says
zat I did it. I tried to explain at Ze Ministry
but zey didn't understand me...
[Hermione (spoken)]
Yeah, but did you do it?
[OLYMPIA (spoken)]
No no! Not guiltee!
[ALICIA (spoken)]
My team mate, Angelina and
I did this broomstick act
and my boyfriend, George,
used to come along with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did 20 sporatic broom tricks in a row
One, two, three four, five...dives, feints,
ball passes, bludger backbeats
one right after the other.
Well, one night we were in the Leaky Cauldron,
the three of us, sittin' up
in a rented room, boozin' and
havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of butterbeer.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Angelina and
George doing Number Twenty-three -
the Bludger Backbeat.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my broomstick
I even knew they were dead.
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
[ALICIA]
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
[ALICIA]
They had it coming
[GIRLS]
They had it coming
[ALICIA]
They had it coming all along
[GIRLS]
And then they used it
[ALICIA]
But if I'd done it
[GIRLS]
And they abused it
[ALICIA]
How could you tell me
[GIRLS]
It was a murder
[ALICIA]
That I was wrong?!
[CHO (spoken)]
I loved Cedric Diggory
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real snitch-worthy guy
athletic... a seeker.
But he was really devoted.
He was always out
trying to catch that snitch.
He'd go out every day
to practice his catch
and on the way
he cought Hannah,
Katie, Percy and Dobby.
I guess you can say we broke
up because of our quidditch differences.
He saw himself with a snitch in his hands
and I saw him with a bludger in his head.
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
They had it comin'
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
They had it comin'
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
They had it comin'
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
They had it comin'
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
They had it comin'
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
They had it comin'
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
All along
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA, GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
All along.
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us
And they abused us
[GINNY, PANSY, HERMIONE]
How could you tell us
[ALICIA, CHO, OLYMPIA]
How could you tell us That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
[GINNY (Spoken)]
You snap that camera one more time!
[PANSY (spoken)]
Committed my ass.
[HERMIONE (Spoken)]
Ten times!
[OLYMPIA (Spoken)]
But Ze Ministry did not understand me
[ALICIA (Spoken)]
Number twenty-three, the bludger backbeat
[CHO (Spoken)]
Quidditch differences.
[ALL]
I betcha you would have done the same!