Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N: And thus I bring you to the first of many classes on the numerous facets of Youkai Ecology! This will not be just ecology, and it will include any valid informantion, or any useful weaknesses, much to the dismay of some of the Youkai. Ohh, and this arc was requested by WillieG.R, so thank him if you've been curious about this.

Night, Keine's school for both Humans and Youkai:

I hope the day class doesn't mind that they too have to come at night for this lesson. I can't exactly have her come by in the day, as that'd be a bit cruel.

I was sitting at my desk, in the room full of numerorous smaller desks, 51 in total if you include mine, when the Youkai I had been waiting for arived.

"You know the humans'll think you've gone insane if you have me in a room full of their tasty little younglings, and yet you insist upon it! I mean, I know that you can trust me, but will the humans not lose trust in you, if only a bit?" Just as I had requested, Rumia had come, along with the once dead Mima. ...I need to ask her how she's alive some time, but now's not the time.

"Why, Rumia, Mima, it's good to see you two! You look so... healthy and not dead, Mima!" I gave a pleasing smile, and shook each of their hands firmly.

"Ahh, blame Yukari..." Ahh, yes. It's always best to blame Yukari first, and find out the actual culprit later. ...Sadly, more often than not, Yukari is the culprit.

"Indeed! So, are you ready to help me, as per our agreement?" I smiled, and looked to the little Darkness Youkai, or, if you actually know what she is, Black Pudding.

"Quite! I'm itching to earn my payment!" Rumia let loose one of her unnerving grings, which, while quite happy looking, also had luled a number of humans into a false sense of security. A shark toothed loli is considered cute by many outsiders, so they simply try to hug her. ...That's about as far as I need to go into detail on their fates, as she's a confirmed man-eater.

I had promised her a meal of meat, which is about as valuable as gold to her, so she was quite happy to lend me a hand. Pork, to be exact, as it's a bitsimilar to human flesh they say.

We sat about, waiting for the hour to pass.

It took all of Rumia's willpower to not start making moves upon the one she loves, Mima. Ohh, yes, it's quite obvious to me that she's interested in the girl. However, I'm not about to condone such things around my students, and Rumia knows it.

The hour finally came to a close, and the students, half of which were half asleep, had made their way into the classroom. None dare to skip class, as they know that I just might accidentally cave in their skull with my own, instead of just giving them a friendly headbutt!

After the initial shock of seeing such a high threat Youkai in the classroom, just looking bored, all of those who had been half asleep had been awoken by sheer shock. It seems I won't have to hit any children tonight! Goody!

"T-teacher...? Wh-why is she here...?" One of the braver students asked, obviously quite curious as to why the scary little Youkai was even allowed into the village.

"Well, she's the only one of her species that I know, and I've things to teach you all about her kind." I gave the child a reassuring smile, which seemed to calm him down considerably.

"Is that so~?" From Rumia's voice alone, the hearts of the children in the room all lept into their throats. They had, at one point or another, heard her ask that very same question from the dark corners of the village. It's quite hard to keep one such as her out, but she's only allowed to attack those that have tried to innitiate a spell card duel, and lost it, so the children are... a semblance of safe.

"That is so~!" Mima, the rather unique shrine maiden that she is, had all of the humans and younger Youkai raising a brow at her.

I began to take role call, while looking for my egg timer. By the time I had finished said call, I had located the battered metal egg timer that had only flecks of white paint on the surface of it's steel body. It was once quite the proud little white egg timer, but I had gotten it ...well used from the odds and ends store.

"Now, let us begin. First off, Rumia, I'd like you to tell the class of a bit about yourself, in an as in-depth way as you can muster." Rumia made her way from the spot she was sitting at, and stood before the class, ready to teach what she could.

Rumia's PoV:

"Hmm... Well, I suppose I'll start from the beginning! I was once a pet amoeba, as some Youkai keep rather unique pets; I lived a good life, reached my 100th year, and ended up becoming a Youkai. It's common practice among Youkai to keep a pet only untill it becomes a Youkai, so I was quietly abandoned to learn my way in the world. Ohh, stop the sad looks of sympathy, as it is un-needed." I began to think for a moment, before continuing. "I seem to be the only Black Pudding in all of Gensokyo, if not the entire world. Yes, those looks of sympathy I can understand, as it's been a lonely time I've had every since that shrine maiden died." I point my thumb to my side, indicating that I'm reffering to Mima." And, yes, she is currently alive. I'm not so bad to be friends with, even for you humans. ...So long as said human is either interesting enough to not eat, or is from the village, as I'm not supposed to eat you light meals, or the far larger meals that produce you." Every single human cringed at this, including Keine. However, Mima did not, as she's quite similar to myself in some ways; she has a taste for human flesh, and freely admits it to Youkai.

One of the humans raised their hand, and I pointed to them, indicating that they could speak. "Can ah be youw fwiend?" One of the smaller humans seemed to not mind my... tendancies. Interesting.

"N-now Pedro, it's best to say such things with caution." Keine didn't want her little student to be eaten, even if I say I keep to the treaty quite well. Long ago, a treaty was made between man and Youkai, so as to keep the Human Village from becoming a feeding ground. The human village was a place that people from all over the world could live, but was only for those that had been forgotten, and ended up in Gensokyo. Mostly orphaned children found their way here, with the occasional adult being a rarity, and were either eaten, or found their way to the village. Yukari also, from time to time, gathers a number of criminals that were never proven to have commited their crimes, a black collar put around their neck, and sends them out into the wilds. Those humans would be for eating, and are only marked so that the human village rejects them.

It's one of Yukari's numerous hobbies.

I made my way over to the little boy, squated, and offered him my hand, which he gladly accepted.

I gave him a warm smile, before swiftly pulled him up into a bridal carry, and walked back to the front of the classroom.

Keine gave me a look that said not to try anything funny, or else she would pulverize one of my cores with one of her rock shattering head butts. While the odds are that she can't destroy the thing, it would still probably crack, which would bring me horrible pain.

"Now, as Keine mentioned, we Youkai can be a rather untrustworthy lot! however, I for one would rather leave a better impression in you little ones, as all I've done to the village for the whole ...century? since the treaty was established, was nothing more than natural selection. Any weakling that thinks they can take me out deserves their fate." The humans, and Youkai, all looked at me with wonder in their eye. They seemed to find me a fair bit less scary, and a bit cool, instead.

"Ahem... Rumia, get on with the lesson. The class would probably not want to stay late, right?" I looked to the class, who were all shaking their heads. If it mean hearing more about this Youkai, they wouldn't mind missing out on a bit of sleep. Keine rose a brow at this, not expecting me to have made them like me so easily.

"Now then... Where was I...? Ahh, yes..." I cleared my throat, before continuing my part of the lecture. "I'm of the Ooze family of Youkai, and, to be exact, I'm a Black pudding; I've never met another of my exact kind, thanks to being a creature that really isn't meant to live to see 100, so I've lost hope of finding another of my kind." I began to disable the digestive qualities of my inner body, and turn my hardened outer layer back into the ooze that's normal of my species. At first, it had been rather hard to maintain the shape of a human, but eventually I ended up doing it effortlessly.

My limbs began to melt away, and my clothes float in the fluids of my body, as I was returning to my natural form. Slowly the small child ended up in my soft, warm, meat scented body. The small child was looking about, slightly worried that I was about to eat him. "Don't worry, it'll only tingle inside of me, and you'll still be able to breathe; I've disabled the acidic properties of my body, so as to not harm you in my little demonstration." I had no mouth to speak with at this point, but I could still speak just fine. I'm not too sure on how I do that, honestly; I wonder if Keine knows?

"You okay in there, little guy?" Mima showed just a bit of concern for the young human, as she had never seen me do this before, so it was a unique sight to see me not eating what's within me.

The little human began to giggle, as I was pretty much tickling his entire body save for a few strategic areas. I may be a pervert, but I'm not going to molest a child.

It wasn't long before he gave a thumbs up, even if he could hardly move.

As quickly as he had been enveloped in my body, I shot him up into the air, retracting all traces of myself from him, save for the lingering smell of meat. After his short flight, he landed atop of my jiggling jelly body.

The students all clapped at the fun that little Pedro was having, while Keine sighed with relief that he was quite fine.

A/N2: And thus ends part 1 of Ooze 101!