I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN POTIONS MASTER

by Seawave

Well he is! Snape songfic.

Author's note: Snape's song ... ;)

Rating G - Humour

Enjoy!

Sung to the tune of "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General" from "The Pirates of Penzance." (Gilbert & Sullivan)

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN POTIONS MASTER

SNAPE:

I am the very model of a modern Potions Master

I've information vegetable, magical and mineral,

I know the wizards of England and I quote the fights historical

From Salazar to Voldemort in order categorical;

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mysterious

I understand the Dark Arts, something quite serious

About the art of potions, I'm teeming with a lot of news

With many facts of interest about the art of mixing brews

STUDENTS:

With many facts of interest about the art of mixing brews

With many facts of interest about the art of mixing brews

With many facts of interest about the art of mixing brews

SNAPE:

I'm very good at magic charms and counter cursing evil spells

I know the magic names of beings and where they choose to dwell

In short, in matters vegetable, magical and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Potions Master

STUDENTS:

In short, in matters vegetable, magical and mineral,

He is the very model of a modern Potions Master

SNAPE:

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Ancient Greek

I brew a magic elixir, to bewitch, ensnare and seek

I quote of Merlin the wizard to end time itself

My dark robes billow, silent, I move with stealth

I can tell those interested from all the other dunderheads

I know the types, seen it before, wish they'd stay in their beds

Then I can teach in peace, the little darlings in my lair

And not listen to excuses of tardiness extraordinare

STUDENTS:

And not listen to excuses of tardiness extraordinare

And not listen to excuses of tardiness extraordinare

And not listen to excuses of tardiness extraordinare

SNAPE:

Then I can write potion recipes to bewitch and ensnare the mind

And hope in vain that my class will respond in kind

In short, in matters vegetable, magical, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Potions Master

STUDENTS:

In short, in matters vegetable, magical, and mineral,

He is the very model of a modern Potions Master

SNAPE:

In fact, I know the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane

This Potter child is driving me insane!

With such affairs with three headed dogs and Quirrell, alas

And deary me, I had to save his a

I can tell what you get when you mix wormwood with asphodel

A sleeping potion, straight from the mouth of hell

Too, I can tell you where to find a find a bezoar

Expect me to do your work, look it up, you lazy tar!

In short, when I'm in the dungeon, all my potions with me

You'll say a stricter Potions Master you will never see

STUDENTS:

You'll say a stricter Potions Master you will never see

You'll say a stricter Potions Master you will never see

You'll say a stricter Potions Master you will never see

SNAPE:

For my magical knowledge, I'm quite the enigmatic quiet type

Though on any given day, I may scowl, complain and gripe,

But still, in matters vegetable, magical, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Potions Master

STUDENTS:

But still, in matters vegetable, magical, and mineral,

He is the very model of a modern Potions Master

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe was created by J. K. Rowling.

"Pirates of Penzance" was written by Gilbert & Sullivan.

No monetary profit is being made from this.